Stuart  Henry 


"vgrr 


VILLA  ELSA 


VILLA   ELSA 

A  Story  of  German  Family  Life 


BY 

STUART    HENRY 


NEW  YORK 

E.  P.  BUTTON   &   COMPANY 

68 1  FIFTH  AVENUE 


COPYRIGHT  1920,  BY 
E.  P.  BUTTON  &  COMPANY 


All  Rights  Reserved 


Printed  in,  the  United  States  of  America 


i 


TO 

|Iat  an&  .Anna 

NG  TOKEN  OF  OUR  \V 
CONVERSATIONS  ON  THE  GERMANS 


, 


FOREWORD 


THIS  narrative  offers  a  gentle  but  perma 
nent  answer  to  the  problem  presented 
to  humanity  by  the  German  people.  It  seeks 
to  go  beyond  the  stage  of  indemnities,  diplo 
matic  or  trade  control,  peace  by  armed  pre 
ponderance.  These  agencies  do  not  take  into 
account  Teuton  nature,  character,  manner  of 
living,  beliefs. 

Unless  the  Germans  are  changed,  the  world 
will  live  at  swords'  points  with  them  both  in 
theory  and  in  practice.  Whether  they  are 
characteristically  Huns  or  not,  it  should  be 
tragically  realized  that  something  ought  to  be 
done  to  alter  their  type.  Their  minds,  hearts, 
souls,  should  be  touched  in  a  direct,  personal, 
intimate  way.  There  should  be  a  natural  re 
lationship  of  good  feeling,  an  intelligent  and 
lived  mutual  experience,  worked  up,  brought 

vii 


viii  FOREWORD 

about.  A  League  of  Nations,  of  Peace,  in 
evitably  based  on  some  sort  of  force,  should 
be  followed  by  a  truly  human  programme 
leading  to  the  amicable  conversion  of  that  race, 
if  it  is  at  heart  unrepentant,  crafty,  mur 
derous. 

In  the  absence  of  any  particular  heed  being 
paid  to  this  underlying,  fundamental  subject, 
the  present  pages  suggest  for  it  a  vital  solu 
tion  that  seems  both  easy  and  practical  and 
would  promise  to  relieve  anxiety  as  to  an  in 
definitely  uncertain,  ugly  future  ahead  of 
harassed  mankind. 

How  shall  the  German  be  treated  in  the 
present  century  and  beyond? 

To  try  to  answer  this  aright,  it  is  obviously 
necessary  to  know  what  the  German  is — what 
he  is  really  like.  To  know  him  at  his  best,  in 
his  truest  colors,  is  to  live  with  him  in  his  most 
normal  condition,  and  that  is  at  his  fireside, 
surrounded  by  his  family.  This  aspect  has 
been  the  least  fully  presented  during  the  war. 
What  the  Teuton  military  and  political  chief 
tains,  clergymen,  professors,  captains  of  in 
dustry,  editors  and  other  men  of  position  have 
said,  how  they  have  conducted  themselves 
toward  the  rest  of  humanity,  is  notoriously 


FOREWORD  ix 

and  distressingly  familiar.  But  what  the 
ordinary,  educated  German  of  peaceful  pur 
suits,  staying  by  his  hearthstone  far  behind 
and  safe  from  the  battle  line,  thought  and 
wished  to  say,  has  been  beyond  our  ken.  Tb*^ 
has  been  no  way  to  get  at  him  or  hear  from 
him  as  to  what  lay  frankly  in  his  mind. 

His  leaders  loudly  proclaimed  themselves  to 
be  as  terrifying  as  Huns  and  unblushingly 
gloried  in  this  profession.  Has  he  agreed 
or  has  he  silently  disagreed?  Has  he  too 
wished  this  or  has  he  been  unwilling?  Is  he 
essentially  a  Hun,  are  his  family  essentially 
Huns,  or  are  they  in  reality  good  and  kindly 
people  like  our  people?  Are  they  temporarily 
misled? 

The  humble  German  families  of  education 
who  are  hospitable,  who  sing  and  weep  over 
sentimental  songs  in  their  homes,  whose 
duties  are  modest  and  revenues  small,  who 
have  never  been  out  of  their  provinces,  who 
have  had  no  relations  with  foreigners  and 
could  have  no  personal  cause  for  hatred — have 
they  been  so  bloodthirsty  about  killing  and 
pillaging  in  alien  lands? 

Villa  Elsa  contains  a  family  immune  from 
any  foreign  influence  and  matured  in  the  most 


x  FOREWORD 

regular  and  unsuspecting  Teuton  way.  The 
German  household  is  the  most  thoroughly  in 
structed  of  all  households.  Its  members  are 
disciplined  to  do  most  things  well.  How 
can  it  then  be  Hun  in  any  considerable  degree? 
Impossible,  said  the  nations,  and  so  they  re 
mained  illy  prepared  against  a  frenzied  on 
slaught.  But  a  shocked  public  has  beheld  how 
readily  the  most  erudite  of  mankind,  as  the 
Germans  were  generally  held  to  be,  could 
officially,  deliberately  and  repeatedly  as  sol 
diers,  singly  and  en  masse,  act  like  their  an 
cestors — the  barbarians  of  the  days  of  Attila. 

These  are  all  puzzling  queries  which  this 
story  attempts  to  illuminate  and  solve  by  its 
pictures  and  observations  of  the  life  of  such 
a  modest  and  typical  Teuton  home  in  1913 
and  1914.  Admittedly  too  much  light,  too 
much  study,  cannot  be  given  to  the  greatest 
issue  civilization  as  a  whole  has  faced. 

Villa  Elsa  is  but  Germany  in  miniature.  In 
the  significant  character,  habits  and  activities 
of  this  household  may  be  found  the  true  pith 
and  essence  of  real  Germanism  as  normally  de 
veloped.  This  Germanism  appears  ready 
to  continue  after  the  War  to  be  the  malignant 
and  would-be  assassin  of  other  civilizations. 


FOREWORD  xi 

It  is,  therefore,  tragically  important  to  find 
and  act  on  the  right  answer  to  the  question: 

Is  there  any  possible  way  to  make  the  Ger 
mans  become  true,  peace-loving  friends  with 
us — with  the  rest  of  mankind? 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTEB  PAOB 

FOREWORD vii 

I.  TRIUMPHANT  GERMANY  IN  1913    .       .  1 

II.  DEUTSCHLAND  UEBER  ALLES  ...  6 

III.  GARD  KIRTLET 11 

IV.  VILLA  ELSA 19 

V.  FAMILY  LIFE 29 

VI.  THE  HOME 36 

VII.  GERMAN  LOVING 46 

VIII.  GERMAN  COURTSHIP         ....  54 

IX.  A  JOURNALIST 64 

X.  SPIES  AND  WAR 71 

XI.  GERMAN  WAYS 78 

XII.  HABITS  AND  CHILDREN    ....  86 

XIII.  DOWN  WITH  AMERICA!     ....  94 

XIV.  AFTERMATH 106 

XV.  MILITARY  BLOCKHEADS    .       .       .       .113 

XVI.  A  LIVELY  MUSICIAN         ....  120 

XVII.  IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY          .       .  125 

XVIII.  THE  NAKED  CULT 134 

XIX.  JIM  DEMING  OF  ERIE,  PAY     .       .       .  145 

XX.  AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY    ....  152 

XXI.  A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OR  PAGAN?  .       .160 

XXII.  MAKING  FOR  WAR 168 

XXIII.  SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE 176 

XXIV.  THE  COURT  BALL 186 

xiii 


xiv  CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAO1! 

XXV.  FRITZI  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION  192 
XXVI.  SOME  OF  THE  LESS  KNOWN  EFFI 
CIENCY       200 

XXVII.  THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE      .  210 

XXVIII.  JIM  DEMING'S  FATE    ....  218 

XXIX.  WINTER  AND  SPRING  ....  229 

XXX.  VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS      ...  238 

XXXI.  A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY   ....  247 

XXXII.  A  GERMAN  MARRIAGE  PROPOSAL    .  256 

XXXIII.  A  WAITRESS  DANCE   ....  263 

XXXIV.  CHAMPAGNE 272 

XXXV.  RECUPERATION 279 

XXXVI.  THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER  285 
XXXVII.  A  GERMAN  "GoTT  BE  WITH  YE"  .     294 

XXXVIII.  A  JOURNEY 302 

XXXIX.  THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE  .       .313 

XL.  THE  END  OF  A  LITTLE  GAME         .     323 

XLI.  ARE  THEY  HUNS?       ....     329 

XLII.  THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?      .       .       .     336 

XLIII.  THE  TEUTON  PROBLEM.    A  SOLUTION  347 


VILLA  ELSA 


CHAPTER  I 

TBJUMPHANI  GERMANY  IN  1913 

IN  the  late  summer  of  1913  a  quiet  Ameri 
can  college  man  of  twenty-three,  tall, 
lean,  somewhat  listless  in  bearing,  who  had 
been  idling  on  a  trip  in  Germany  without  a 
thought  of  adventure,  was  observing,  without 
being  able  to  define  or  understand,  one  of  the 
most  remarkable  conditions  of  national  and 
racial  exhilaration  that  ever  blessed  a  country 
in  time  of  ripest  peace. 

He  had  never  been  out  of  America,  and 
supposed  his  Yankee  people,  with  all  their 
wide  liberty,  contemplated  life  with  as  much 
enjoyment  as  any  other.  But  in  that  land 
which  is  governed  with  iron,  where  (as  Bis- 

1 


,*;        'j :':'-::    i  YJ^A  ELSA 

marck  said)  a  man  cannot  even  get  up  out  of 
his  bed  and  walk  to  a  window  without  break 
ing  a  law,  Gard  Ivirtley  was  finding  some 
thing  different,  strange,  wonderful,  in  the  way 
of  marked  happiness.  It  pulsated  every 
where,  in  every  man,  woman  and  child.  It 
seemed  to  be  a  sensation  of  victory,  yet  there 
had  been  no  victory.  It  appeared  to  reflect 
some  mighty  distinctive  human  achievement 
or  event  of  which  a  whole  race  could  be  proud 
in  unison.  There  had  been  nothing  of  the  sort. 

And  yet  it  was  there,  a  certain  exuberance. 
The  people,  with  heads  carried  high,  quickly 
moving  feet  and  pockets  full  of  money,  were 
enlivened  by  a  public  joyousness  because  they 
were  humans  and,  above  all,  because  they  were 
Germans.  It  seemed  a  joy  of  human  prestige, 
of  wholesale  well-being,  of  an  assuredly  aus 
picious  future.  Multitudes  of  toasts  were 
being  drunk.  The  marching  and  counter 
marching  of  soldiers  looked  excessive  even  for 
Germany.  A  season  of  patriotic  holidays  was 
apparently  at  hand.  Festivals,  public  rites, 
celebrated  the  widespread  exultation.  The 
whole  country  conducted  itself  as  on  parade, 
en  fete. 

Wages  were  higher  and  comforts  greater 


TRIUMPHANT  GERMANY  IN  1913          3 

than  ever  known  there.  For  the  first  time 
chambermaids  often  drank  champagne  and 
wore  on  their  heads  lop-sided  creations  of  ex 
pensive  millinery  with  confident  awkward 
ness — creations  which  they  said  came  from 
Paris.  The  chimney  sweeps  had  high  hats 
and  smoked  good  tobacco  which  they  may  have 
thought  came  from  London.  For  the  im 
ported  was  the  high  water  mark  of  plenty  in 
Germany  as  always  elsewhere,  though  she 
claimed  to  make  the  best  goods. 

The  scene  should  not  be  painted  in  too  high 
colors — colors  too  fixed.  To  the  careless  ob 
server  it  doubtless  appeared  little  different 
from  the  annual  flowering  forth  of  the  Ger 
man  race  in  its  short  summer  season.  Always 
at  that  time  were  the  open  gardens  lively,  the 
roses  blooming  with  the  crude,  dense  hues  that 
the  Teutons  like,  and  all  the  folk  pursuing 
their  busy  tasks  and  vigorous  pleasures  with  a 
sort  of  goose-step  alacrity. 

But  the  closer,  more  sensitive  onlooker  felt 
something  more  in  1913 — something  widely 
organized,  unified,  puissant,  imperial  indeed, 
such  as,  he  may  have  imagined,  had  not  existed 
since  the  days  of  the  great  emperors  in  Rome. 
What  the  Germans  told  all  comers  was  that 


4  VILLA  ELSA 

they  had  the  best  of  governments,  and  that  no 
nation  had  been  so  thoroughly,  soundly  and 
extensively  prosperous. 

For  each  citizen  read  in  his  daily  paper  of 
successful  and  growing  Teuton  activities  in 
the  most  distant  parts  of  the  earth — in  ports, 
regions  and  among  peoples  whose  names  he 
had  never  heard  before  and  could  not  pro 
nounce.  At  breakfast  his  capacious  paunch 
and  his  wife's  fat,  flowing  bosom  expanded 
with  pride  in  hearing  of  some  new  far-off  pas 
senger  route  carrying  the  flag,  of  the  Made 
in  Germany  brand  sweeping  the  markets  of 
the  world,  and  perhaps  of  the  Kaiser's  safe 
return  to  his  palace,  bronzed  with  the  cast  of 
health  and  strength.  Never  had  investments 
brought  the  German  such  high  rates.  Never 
had  speculation  been  so  rife  and  withal  so  uni 
formly  profitable. 

As  for  industry,  Deutschland  was  a  colossal 
beehive.  If  Frederick  the  Great  started  the 
beehive,  William  the  Second  was  increasing 
its  size  to  unbelievable  proportions.  Insignifi 
cant  villages  everywhere  contained  millions  of 
dollars'  worth  of  machinery,  manufacturing 
goods  of  untold  value.  Not  an  ounce  of 
energy,  not  a  second  of  time,  seemed  to  be  lost 


TRIUMPHANT  GERMANY  IN  1913          5 

in  the  Empire.  Every  German  was  a  busy 
cog  fitted  precisely  into  the  whole  national 
plant. 

It  was  as  if  the  Teuton  knew  that  other 
races  must  soon  stand  with  their  backs  to  the 
wall  and  that  now  was  the  moment  to  re 
double  effort  to  capture  still  more  trade  and 
reduce  the  rest  of  the  world  to  an  acknowl 
edged  state  of  submission. 


CHAPTER  II 

DEUTSCHLAND  UEBER  ALLES 

rpHUS  the  Germans,  in  1913,  felt  how  su- 
-L  preme  their  country  was  or  was  speedily 
becoming.  Not  only  their  newspapers  but 
their  educators,  their  pastors  and,  more  than 
all,  their  military  and  political  leaders  told 
them  that  a  place  above  the  rest  of  mankind 
had  been  reached.  The  pride,  the  assurance, 
pervading  the  land  was  the  stiff  and  hardy 
efflorescence  of  this  universal  conclusion.  And 
the  Teutons  had  earned  and  therefore  merited 
it  all,  for  no  one,  nothing,  scarcely  even 
Nature,  had  lent  a  helping  hand. 

German  women  knew  they  were  the  best 
housekeepers,  wives,  mothers,  dressers, 
dancers.  Never  had  they  been  so  to  the  fore. 
Never  had  they  had  so  much  money  to  spend 
for  clothes.  Never  had  they  promenaded  so 
proudly  to  martial  music  or  waltzed  so  per- 

6 


DEUTSCHLAND  UEBER  ALLFS  7 

spiringly  with  the  fashion-plate  officers  whom 
they  adored. 

The  children  were  paragons  of  diligence 
and  promise.  In  their  school  books  and  col 
lege  text  books  everything  German  was 
lauded  in  the  superlative;  everything  foreign 
was  decried  as  inferior,  undesirable.  Nearly 
every  human  discovery,  invention,  improve 
ment,  was  somehow  traced  to  a  Teuton  origin. 
Even  characteristic  German  vices  were  held 
to  be  better  than  many  virtues  in  other  lands. 

The  young  person  grew  up  to  believe  that 
the  Rhine  was  the  finest  of  rivers,  the  moun 
tains  of  the  Fatherland  were  the  most  cele 
brated  in  song  and  story,  its  lakes  the  most 
picturesque,  its  soil  the  best  tilled.  He  was 
properly  stuffed  with  the  indomitable  convic 
tion,  the  aggressive  obsession,  that  the  fittest 
civilization  must  prevail. 

And  the  army!  Always  the  army — that 
bulwark,  that  invincible  force!  Hundreds  of 
thousands  of  civilians  apparently  regretted 
they  were  not  back  in  the  barracks,  following 
the  noblest  of  occupations  as  soldiers  for  the 
supreme  War  Lord.  The  army  represented 
admitted  perfection.  Foreign  observers  were 
united  in  naively  attesting  its  impeccableness. 


8  VILLA  ELSA 

It  was  ready  to  the  last  shoe  button,  to  the  last 
twist  of  its  waxed  mustache.  But  ready  for 
what?  Few  outside  of  Germany  appeared  to 
think  of  asking.  The  army  was  taken  to  be 
wiply  Teuton  life  and  of  no  more  ulterior 
significance  than  the  national  beer. 

The  admission  was  also  general  at  home 
and  abroad  that  the  German  Government  was 
the  most  free  from  graft  and  the  most  thor 
ough.  In  Germany  the  kings  and  princes 
were  paid  homage  as  models  of  wisdom  and 
virtue,  and  the  Kaiser  was  believed  to  be  walk 
ing  with  God,  hand  in  hand,  palm  to  palm. 
In  token  of  the  mystic  union  between  Em 
peror  and  people,  Hohenzollern  monuments 
were  seen  rising  in  all  parts  of  the  Empire  in 
greater  quantity,  amid  greater  thanksgivings. 
These  Denkmals  were  growing  huger,  more 
thunderous  in  appearance,  and  served  the 
double  purpose  of  keeping  the  populace  in  a 
state  of  admiring,  unquestioning  awe  and  ex 
pressing  fulminating  Bewares !  to  other  races. 
In  every  home,  factory,  retail  shop,  public 
place,  was  the  Kaiser's  picture,  with  his  trel- 
lised  mustache,  and  his  devout  eyes  cast  with 
a  chummy  comradeship  up  to  heaven. 

All  the  foregoing  explanations  accounted  in 


DEUTSCHLAND  UEBER  ALLES  0 

part  for  a  glorious  increase  in  noise  among  a 
people  that  does  everything  loudly.  The 
national  noisiness  was  harmonized  somewhat 
by  innumerable  bands  and  orchestras.  Public 
balls  seemed  to  have  become  the  order  of  the 
night,  and  the  famous  forests  by  day  were 
filled  by  echoes  of  the  horns  of  the  bloody 
chase — the  cors  de  chasse  of  the  legendary 
Roland  and  knights  of  the  Nibelungen. 
Humble  civilians  grew  fonder  of  the  habit  of 
donning  their  military  or  hunting  uniforms 
and  big  marching  boots,  and  sticking  cock's 
feathers  in  their  hats  at  rakish  angles,  recall 
ing  the  war  of  1870  or  reviving  dreams  of 
the  sporting  Tyrol.  They  drank  daily  more 
pints  of  beer  and  swallowed  the  hot-headed 
Rhine  wines  as  if  thus  renewing  their  blood 
in  that  of  their  fiery  ancestors.  Meals 
mounted  to  seven  or  eight  a  day,  for  it  was 
proper  to  gorge  themselves  like  the  human 
gods  they  were.  Even  the  most  servile  took 
on  a  conscious  air  of  being  of  a  regal  species. 
In  this  wise,  the  German,  like  Cain,  the 
competent  iron- worker,  was  treading  the  earth 
with  resounding  footsteps.  Over  his  bull- 
neck  and  under  his  spiked  hat  he  had  naturally 
come  to  look  upon  himself  as  a  super-being. 


10  VILLA  ELSA 

While  the  American  watched  ball  games,  the 
Englishman  played  golf  and  the  Frenchman 
wrote  to  his  loved  one,  the  Teuton  was 
keeping  himself  hardened  for  war,  and  toiling 
like  the  systematic  beaver  in  up -building  na 
tional  industries  that  were  so  swiftly  dominat 
ing  all  others.  To  say  the  least,  this  intense 
people  were  strenuously  perfecting  an  inten 
sive  and  powerful  civilization  such  as  never 
had  been  seen. 

So — as  Card  Kirtley  was  finding  and  yet 
failing  to  explain  to  himself — expectancy,  un- 
describable  and  splendid,  was  in  the  air  beyond 
the  Rhine.  And  there  was  one  special  toast 
drunk  to  it  all  with  ever  more  loudly  clinking 
glasses — Der  Tag!  Such  was  triumphant 
German y,  the  triumphant  Vaterland,  in  1913 
— foretasting  a  portentous  future;  pregnant 
with  colossal  success;  swollen  with  a  hundred 
years  of  victories  and  growth;  as  sure  of  its 
prowess  and  might  as  were  the  swaggering 
gods  of  its  Valhallas. 

Imperial  Deutschland  iiber 


CHAPTER  III 

GARD  KIRTLEY 

INTO  this  Triumphant  Germany  young 
Kirtley  had  come  to  recuperate  from  the 
sadness  over  the  loss,  the  previous  year,  of  his 
parents  and  from  a  siege  of  sickness.  Still 
somewhat  pale,  somewhat  weak,  he  showed  the 
shock  he  had  undergone.  He  had  toured 
across  southern  Germany  and  up  to  Berlin 
where  he  had  bidden  good-by  to  his  chance 
American  traveling  companion,  Jim  Deming, 
who-  vas  knocking  about  Italy  and  Teuton- 
land.  They  had  exchanged  final  addresses. 

Kirtley,  clean-shaven,  with  pleasant  brown 
eyes,  and  brown  hair  brushed  down  flat,  giving 
his  head  the  appearance  of  smallness,  looked 
very  lank  and  Yankeeish  among  the  robust, 
fat  Teutons  of  the  Saxon  capital.  He  was 
entering  Dresden  on  a  late  afternoon  brown 

11 


12  VILLA  ELSA 

with  German  sunshine.  The  school  year  had 
begun,  but  a  loitering  summer-time  bright 
ened  city  and  countryside.  As  he  made  his 
way  slowly  through  the  throng  at  the  station, 
he  gave  evidence  of  a  rather  shy  way  of  look 
ing  up  and  about,  an  apologetic  readiness  to 
step  aside,  to  yield  place,  not  characteristic  of 
the  speedy  American  in  Europe.  He  had  not, 
as  we  have  said,  come  to  Germany  for  adven 
ture.  He  had  not  come  merely  to  idle  for  the 
winter.  And  certainly  he  little  mistrusted  he 
was  finally  to  figure  as  a  modest  hero  in  a 
curious  and  dangerous  experience  that  linked 
itself  up  with  the  beginning  of  the  war  of 
which  he,  like  the  world  at  large,  felt  not  the 
slightest  premonition. 

His  German  teacher  had  been  his  favorite 
in  his  eastern  college  where  he  had  one  season 
been  a  very  fair  halfback.  His  better  showing 
had  exhibited  itself  in  his  ability  to  throw  from 
left  field  to  home  plate  on  the  ball  team.  This 
American  preceptor  of  German  parentage 
had  taken  an  interest  in  Kirtley  with  the  insis 
tent  way  of  Teutonic  pedagogues.  Always 
commending  with  a  uniform  vigor  the  Ger 
mans  and  German  fashions  of  living,  he  had 


CARD  KIRTLEY  13 

gradually  filled  Gard  full  of  the  idea  of  their 
excelling  merits. 

Kirtley  heard  of  the  tonic  of  the  nutritious 
Teuton  beer  and  Teuton  music  in  overflowing 
measures.  In  the  Kaiser's  realm,  it  appeared, 
the  digestions  are  always  good.  How  desir 
able  it  would  be  for  Gard  to  take  on  some  flesh 
in  the  German  manner !  In  that  climate,  Pro 
fessor  Rebner  claimed  with  assurance,  al 
though  he  had  never  been  abroad,  one  can  eat 
and  drink  his  fill  without  causing  the  human 
system  to  rebel  as  it  is  apt  to  in  our  dry,  high- 
strung  America.  His  pupil's  appetite  would 
come  back.  Hearty  meals  of  robust  cheese 
and  sausages  would  be  craved  with  an  honest, 
clamorous  hunger  that  meant  foolish  indeli 
cacy  here  at  home. 

Rebner  also  urged  that  Gard  could  in 
Deutschland  improve  his  German  which,  not 
withstanding  his  affection  for  his  preceptor, 
was  indifferent.  Its  gutturalness  grated  on 
his  nerves,  antagonized  him.  But  he  criticized 
himself  for  this,  not  the  language.  Had  not 
his  old  mentor  always  sung  of  the  superiorities 
of  that  tongue? 

Kirtley  could  improve,  too,  his  fingering  on 


14  VILLA  ELSA 

the  piano  by  familiarizing  himself  with  the 
noble  melodies  that  flooded  the  German  land. 
Two  hairy  hands  would  go  up  in  exultation, 

"To  hear  Beethoven  and  Wagner  in  their 
own  country,  filling  the  atmosphere  with  their 
glories !  And  then  Goethe  and  Schiller.  Those 
mighty  deities.  To  read  them  in  their  own 
home!" 

But  the  greatest  thing,  to  the  old  professor's 
mind,  would  be  to  behold  the  German  people 
themselves,  study  them,  profit  by  them  in  their 
preeminence.  What  an  example,  what  an  in 
spiration,  what  a  grand  symphony  of  concen 
trated  harmony!  Germany  was  the  source  of 
Protestantism  and  therefore  of  modern  morals 
— honest,  uncompromising  morals.  German 
discipline  would  have  a  bracing,  solidifying 
effect  on  a  typically  casual,  slack  American 
youth  like  Gard,  whose  latent  capabilities 
were  never  likely  to  be  fully  called  upon  in  the 
comparatively  hit-and-miss  organization  of 
Yankee  life. 

For  he  had  not  yet  begun  to  find  himself. 
He  had  not  even  decided  on  a  calling  at  an 
age  when  the  German  is  almost  a  full-fledged 
citizen,  shouldering  all  the  accompanying 


CARD  KIRTLEY  15 

obligations.  Kirtley's  exemplary  conduct  and 
the  gravity  cast  over  him  by  the  death  of  his 
loved  ones,  had  led  him  to  think  a  little 
of  Rebner's  suggestions  about  the  ministry. 
And  for  this,  Luther's  country  would  be  ex 
pected  to  be  sublime. 

The  loudly  reiterated  praise  of  Germany 
and  the  Germans  had  at  last  produced  the 
desired  effect  on  Gard.  He  was  prevailed 
upon  to  break  away  from  the  old  associations, 
go  abroad  for  a  year  and  get  a  fresh  and  stout 
hold  on  the  future.  Rebner,  through  his  con 
nections,  had  been  able  to  arrange  for  a  home 
in  Saxony  for  his  pupil's  sojourn.  It  was  in  "a 
highly  estimable  and  well-informed  family" 
who  had  never  taken  a  paying  guest.  Although 
a  new  experience  for  them,  they  had  urgently 
insisted  that  they  would  do  everything  they 
could  to  make  his  stay  agreeable  and  bene 
ficial.  This  was  deemed  most  lucky.  For  the 
real  German  character  and  existence  could 
there  be  observed  and  lived  with  the  best 
profit,  uncontaminated  by  the  intermixture  of 
doubtful  foreign  associations. 

And  so  Gard  had  arrived  in  Dresden,  in 
whose  attractive  suburb  of  Loschwitz,  on  the 


16  VILLA  ELSA 

gently  rising  banks  of  the  Elbe,  the  worthy 
Buchers  were  domiciled.  As  his  limping  Ger 
man  did  not  give  him  confidence  about  the 
up-and-down  variety  of  the  Saxon  dialect,  he 
did  not  venture  this  afternoon  to  find  his  way 
by  tram  to  the  house.  The  blind  German 
script  in  which  his  hosts'  solicitous  and  minute 
instructions  were  couched,  and  the  funny  sing 
song  of  the  natives  talking  blatantly  about 
him,  made  him  feel  still  more  helpless.  He 
sought  refuge  in  an  open  droschke.  He  could 
then,  too,  enjoy  the  drive  across  the  city. 

The  Saxon  capital  sits  capaciously  like  a 
comfortable  old  dowager  fully  dressed  in 
stuffs  of  a  richly  dull  color.  Her  thick  skirts 
are  spread  about  her  with  a  contented  dignity 
which  does  not  interfere  with  her  eating  large 
sandwiches  openly  and  vigorously  at  the 
opera.  To-day  the  mellow  sunlight  crowned 
her  ancient  nobleness  with  a  becoming  hue, 
as  Gard  was  jogged  along  in  a  round 
about  way  through  the  city.  Here  at  the  left 
were  the  august  bridges  and  great  park,  all 
famed  in  Napoleon's  battles.  Over  there 
were  the  dowdy  royal  palaces.  There,  too, 
was  the  house  of  the  sacred  Sistine.  Her 


GARD  KIRTLEY  17 

sweet  lineaments  shone  down  in  almost  every 
American  parlor  Gard  knew. 

The  dingy  baroque  architecture,  whose  gen 
eral  tastelessness  was  heavily  banked  up  by  a 
multitude  of  towers,  gables  and  high  copings, 
suggested  an  old-fashioned  residential  city  of 
the  days  of  urban  fortifications.  The  uniform 
arrays  of  buildings,  all  pretending  to  the 
effect  of  sumptuousness  thickened  by  weighty 
proportions  and  blasphemed  by  rococo  hesita 
tions  and  doubts,  seemed  constructed  to  exalt 
the  doughty  glory  of  Augustus  the  Strong — 
Dresden's  local  Thor,  its  chief  heroic  figure  in 
the  favorite  Teuton  galaxy  of  muscled 
Titans.  Somber  medieval  squares,  blocked 
away  quaintly  from  the  world,  were  relieved  by 
the  celebrated  Briihl  Terrace,  enlivened  by 
gilded  statuary  and  by  historic  and  literary 
memories. 

Through  all  this  metropolis  of  formidable 
and  dun  respectability  curved  the  Elbe  as  if 
to  round  off  the  massive  imitations  of  some 
thing  better  somewhere  else.  Hither  coursed 
the  smooth  brown  stream  from  Bohemia,  not 
far  away,  through  the  high  fastnesses  of  the 
Erz  range  and  the  groomed  vistas  of  Saxon 


18  VILLA  ELSA 

Switzerland,  and  past  the  frowning  old  fort 
ress  of  Konigstein,  towering  near  a  thousand 
feet  above  its  untroubled  bosom.  Kirtley  was 
to  find  the  river,  with  its  carefully  tended 
shores,  a  companion  in  many  an  hour. 


CHAPTER  IY 

YTTJ.A  ELSA 

SUCH  in  brief  was  the  scene  that  stretched 
out  around  him  and  enveloped  his  atten 
tion  and  interest.  There  was  not  majesty 
that  would  offend,  but  rather  a  cosy  formality 
that  is  the  absence  of  style.  It  cured  some 
what  the  homesick  inclinations  that  quite  nat 
urally  haunted  him  after  a  wearying  day  of 
travel  and  as  nightfall  drew  down  about  his 
loneliness.  He  was  bound  for  the  home  of  a 
strange  family,  speaking  a  tongue  in  which  he 
was  far  from  glib.  It  had  been  written, 
though,  that  the  Bucher  young  people  had 
learned  English  pretty  well  at  school. 

Kirtley  reached  his  destination  to  find  that 
the  parents  were  waiting  expectantly  to  re 
ceive  him.  With  German  consciousness,  they 
were  stuffily  attired  for  this  novel  and  impor 
tant  event.  After  staunch  greetings  he  was 

19 


20  VILLA  ELSA 

led  into  the  house  past  a  big  angry  dog  that 
stood  guard  tempestuously  at  the  door.  Gard 
found  later  that  such  savage  barking  was 
quite  a  feature  of  the  Teuton  threshold,  and 
might  be  considered  one  bristling  aspect  or 
cause  of  the  ungenial  development  of  the 
social  spirit  in  Germany.  Cave  canem  can 
hardly  be  called  a  suitable  first  attraction  to 
ward  the  spread  of  hospitality.  He  feared  he 
was  going  to  be  bitten  and  wished  his  welcome 
had  not  been  complicated  with  shudders. 

The  entrance  to  Villa  Elsa  consisted  of  a 
hallway  swimming  in  heady  odors  from  the 
strong  cooking  in  the  adjacent  kitchen.  Kirt- 
ley  stood  for  a  moment  stifled.  But  he  was 
to  become  more  used  to  the  lusty  smells  that 
roam  about,  presumptuous  and  fortifying,  in 
German  households  and  of  which,  indeed,  all 
German  existence  is  resolutely  redolent. 
Strength,  whether  in  barking  dogs  or  fumes 
or  what-not,  appeals  to  the  race. 

In  the  passage-way,  too,  Gard  was  struck 
by  the  presence  of  various  weapons,  and 
shields,  hunting  horns,  sundry  pairs  of  large 
boots,  military  or  shooting  garments,  belts 
loaded  with  cartridges.  It  seemed  almost  like 
the  combative  entry  to  some  museum  of 


VILLA  ELSA  21 

armor.  Taken  together  with  the  embattled 
dog,  it  suggested  a  defended  fortress  rather 
than  a  peaceful  fireside. 

"How  pugnacious!"  Card  declared  to  him 
self. 

In  the  entry  Ernst  was  called,  and  he  came 
promptly  forth,  a  smiling  lad  of  fifteen,  with  a 
musing  face,  his  thick  light  hair  thrown  back 
and  run  through  meditatively  by  his  fingers. 
He  conducted  Gard  up  two  flights  to  a  good- 
sized  but  snug  room  where  he  was  to  abide. 
A  linden  tree  courted  the  window  panes  with 
its  green  branches. 

Just  the  place  for  a  fellow  who  wants  to 
get  away  from  the  world  and  read! — Kirtley 
thought. 

On  his  nightstand  lay,  with  characteristic 
Teuton  foresight,  the  names  and  addresses  of 
a  language  teacher  and  of  a  music  teacher  who 
were  duly  "recommending  themselves"  to  him 
in  the  German  idiom.  Lists  of  purchasable 
text  books  and  musical  editions  from  houses 
which,  in  the  thoroughly  informed  Teuton 
manner,  had  got  wind  of  his  coming,  also 
opened  before  him. 

"They  evidently  expect  me  to  begin  to-mor- 


22  VILLA  ELSA 

row  morning.    No  loss  of  time."    He  laughed 
to  himself. 

His  trunk  and  satchel  were  in  his  room  in 
a  few  minutes  with  all  the  certainty  and  punc 
tuality  of  the  imperial-royal  service.  "Essen 
fertig!"  was  soon  vociferated  up  the  stairway 
by  the  cook  Tekla,  whose  bulky  young  form 
Gard  had  glimpsed  in  the  kitchen.  Not  sure 
of  being  summoned  he  did  not  emerge  until 
Ernst  tapped  on  the  door — 

"Meester  Kirtley,  please  come  to  eating." 
At  table  the  elder  son  was  introduced — Ru 
dolph,  called  Rudi,  a  youth  of  about  Card's 
age.  There  was  an  unseemly  scar  on  his  face 
and  something  oblique  in  his  look.  Engineer 
ing  was  given  as  his  profession,  but  he  affected 
the  German  military  strut  and  was  forward 
and  crammed  with  ready-made  conclusions  on 
most  subjects.  But  Herr  Bucher  reigned  here 
as  elsewhere  about  Villa  Elsa  as  absolute 
master.  He  alone  spoke  with  authority.  Rev 
erence  was  first  of  all  due  him.  Gard  soon  saw 
how  the  wife  and  children,  notwithstanding 
their  stirring  presences,  were  on  a  secondary 
plane.  How  different  in  the  land  where  he 
had  come  from  where  they  are  quite  free  to 
rule  in  the  house!  The  sturdy  Frau  was  sub- 


VILLA  ELSA  23 

missive,  energetically  helpful.  But  in  Her  hus 
band's  absence  she  assumed  his  stentorian 
command. 

The  manner  of  eating  was  frankly  informal 
and  ungainly.  Evidences  of  sharp  discipline 
one  moment;  the  next,  awkward  short-cuts. 
The  Germans  have  never  been  able  to  harmon 
ize  these  extremes  into  a  medium  of  easy  for 
mality  or  sightly  smoothness.  At  the  Bucher 
table  each  one  reached  across  for  the  food  with 
scarce  an  apology — a  plan  jerkily  interrupted 
at  times  by  Tekla,  who  stuck  things  at  Gard 
as  if  she  were  going  to  hit  him.  The  strong 
provender  heaped  up  in  abundance,  rank  in 
smell  and  usually  unappetizing  in  color,  inter 
fered  at  first  with  his  hunger.  And  the  drink 
ing  was,  of  course,  of  a  copiousness  he  had 
little  dreamed  of. 

The  whole  effect  created  a  distinctly  unsym 
pathetic  impression.  It  ran  full  tilt  against 
Card's  anticipations.  Rebner  had  led  him  to 
expect  always  the  best  among  the  Germans. 
Were  they  not  the  most  advanced  of  humans? 
Were  they  not  the  patterns  whom  he  should 
model  himself  after  in  the  laudatory  desire  for 
self -improvement?  He  was  naturally  curious 
to  see  the  young  lady  of  the  household,  all  the 


£4  VILLA  ELSA 

more  as  he  wondered  how  she  would  blend 
into  this  blunt  picture.  She  did  not  appear 
and  he  heard  no  reference  to  her.  But  there 
was  a  vacant  place. 

Much  struggling  occurred  over  the  mutual 
endeavors  to  carry  on  conversation.  With  the 
English  which  the  sons  had  learned  and  with 
Card's  German  which  he  found  a  strange 
article  on  its  native  ground,  headway  was 
made  after  a  fashion.  His  bloodless  American 
college  variety  of  the  language  was  very  weak 
to  buffet  about  in  these  billows  of  idioms  and 
colloquialisms. 

The  family,  in  its  emphatic  substantiality, 
was  most  friendly  and  eager  to  please.  They 
urged  food  and  fluid  upon  him  in  a  way  that 
would  have  dismayed  his  Yankee  doctor.  He 
found  himself  eating  and  drinking  to  an  ex 
tent  he  had  never  imagined.  This  sort  of 
thing,  he  concluded  half -despairingly,  would 
either  be  the  making  of  him  or  kill  him.  At 
home  the  general  fear  was  about  too  much. 
Here  satiety,  over-satiety,  seemed  to  be  the 
rule  as  at  all  German  firesides.  While  he 
dreaded  to  think  what  his  abstemious  digestive 
apparatus  would  do,  his  new  friends  took  not 
amiss  the  bountiful  spilling  of  edibles  and 


VILLA  ELSA  «5 

liquids  upon  their  napkins  spread  conspicu 
ously  over  their  breasts.  Laundering  must  be 
cheap  in  Germany.  That  was  one  good 
thing. 

Card  did  not  forget  that  this  was  repre 
sented  to  be  a  highly  instructed  and  cultivated 
circle.  The  members  had  graduated  from  the 
best  schools  or  held  degrees  from  standard  uni 
versities.  He  kept  asking  himself  in  what 
guises  the  much  advertised  German  excellence 
was  yet  to  appear  in  this  domestic  group  whose 
culture  and  virtues  had  been  so  extolled.  If 
these  manners  and  habits  were  part  of  its  per 
fect  ripened  fruit,  then  American  education 
and  life  were  indeed  obviously  blighted.  He 
could  not  help  noticing  that  all  hands  had  not 
been  necessarily  washed  before  meal-time,  and 
that  finger  nails  were  unblushingly  uncleaned 
and  unkempt.  An  accidental  glimpse  under 
the  immense  flowing  white  beard  of  his  host 
revealed  the  absence  of  a  shirt  collar,  and  the 
neck  evidently  relied  on  its  untrimmed  hairi 
ness  as  an  excuse  for  not  being  customarily 
washed. 

It  became  apparent  to  Kirtley  after  a 
month  that  personal  cleanness  and  neatness 
in  Germany  were  not  particularly  considered 


26  VILLA  ELSA 

as  next  lo  godliness.  The  gold  braid,  spick 
and  span  uniforms  and  other  showy  gear,  were 
apt  to  cover  dirty  bodies  and  soiled  under 
wear.  Alas,  the  Germans  could  not  wash  in 
beer.  He  wondered  why  his  old  enthusiastic 
mentor  had  never  given  him  a  hint  of  these 
things.  Likely  he  did  not  know.  Distance 
often  increases  eloquence  in  proportion  as  it 
breeds  ignorance. 

With  the  exhilaration  of  the  bounteous  meal, 
however,  Card's  spirits  rose  to  a  height  he  had 
not  known  in  a  long  time.  If  conversation 
languished  over  the  stony  roads  of  the  duality 
of  expression,  glasses  were  clinked  together 
again  and  a  new  topic  was  hopefully  started. 
When  it  seemed  proper  to  him  that  the 
end  of  the  repast  should  be  in  sight,  a 
new  course  would  be  brought  in,  usually 
accompanied  boisterously  by  the  two  fam 
ily  dogs,  including  the  ferocious  beast  who 
had  given  Gard  the  shivers.  The  animals 
conducted  themselves  with  a  ravenous  free 
dom  around  the  board,  alternately  being 
petted  and  fed  and  allowed  to  lick  plates,  only 
to  be  in  turn  kicked  out  and  shrieked  after, 
with  a  chair  occasionally  upset  in  the  rumpus. 
This  habit  of  kicking  animals,  things  and  per- 


VILLA  ELSA  27 

sons  Gard  later  observed  was  prevalent 
among  the  Teutons,  whose  appropriate  fond 
ness  for  conveniently  big  boots  and  large  stout 
shoes  at  the  same  time  discourages  any  vanity 
about  small  feet.  It  is  a  part  of  their  military 
predilection. 

At  the  end  of  a  couple  of  hours  dinner  was 
brought  to  a  close.  Fraulein  had  not  yet  put 
in  an  appearance,  and  it  now  came  out  that 
she  was  "at  lesson."  She  must  have  stayed 
for  another  class.  After  his  gastronomic  feat 
Gard  did  not  know  whether  he  felt  sick  or 
never  better  in  his  life.  What's  more,  he  did 
not  seem  to  care,  his  senses  were  so  pleasantly 
numbed. 

On  his  way  up  to  his  room,  in  the  dim  hall, 
he  caught  sight  of  a  young  woman  hanging 
up  her  wrap.  Mussed  strands  of  straw-colored 
hair  shone  down  her  shoulders  and  sent  a  sud 
den  thrill  of  gladness  through  his  veins.  He 
had  never  seen  but  one  Wagner  opera  and  that 
was  "The  Twilight  of  the  Gods,"  with  its 
aureate  Rhine  maidens  bathing  in  that  deli 
cious  revelry  of  divine  music.  The  arrival  at 
last  of  the  daughter  of  the  house,  as  he  as 
sumed  this  was,  brought  back  a  flash  of  all  that 
golden  loveliness. 


28  VILLA  ELSA 

In  his  sleep  that  first  night,  vast  trenchers 
of  food  and  tankards  of  drink  disported  in 
happy  confusion  with  goddesses  blond  and 
magical. 


CHAPTER  K 

FAMILY  LITE 

THE  matter  of  much  eating  and  drinking 
had  first  to  be,  if  possible,  disposed  of. 
It  was  exacting  and  the  most  important  affair. 
Kirtley  did  not  want  to  be  discourteous  or  ap 
pear  unappreciative.  He  had  come  to  Ger 
many  to  do  as  the  superior  Germans  do.  His 
digestive  tract  was  on  the  narrow-gage  Amer 
ican  plan.  Theirs  was  broad-gage,  with  their 
surpassing  organisms. 

At  the  Buchers  Gard  had  manfully  to  face 
six  meals  a  day.  Must  he  be  swamped  in  order 
to  put  the  desirable  adipose  tissue  on  his 
bones?  By  all  the  laws  of  American  dieting 
and  Prohibition  the  German  race  should  have 
been  destroyed  by  indigestion  and  drunken 
ness  centuries  ago.  But  here  they  were  more 
flourishing  than  ever — the  generally  acknowl 
edged  nation  of  masters ! 

And  his  bed — the  German  bed.    He  could 

29 


30  VILLA  ELSA 

not  remember  whether  Mark  Twain  ever  de 
scribed  it,  but  he  should  have.  Card's  haven 
of  rest  appeared  to  lie  on  solid  foundations. 
It  was  constructed  with  German  stability. 
There  were  as  many  blankets  in  summer  as  in 
winter. 

Worst  of  all,  two  immense  feather  pillows 
lay  across  its  middle.  The  only  place  for  them 
seemed  to  be  on  his  sorely  tried  stomach  or 
on  the  floor.  In  a  month  an  attack  of  in 
somnia  resulted.  For  hours  at  night  he  lay 
awake,  listening  to  the  frequent  rain  on  the 
roof  or  the  wind  whining  Teutonically  in  the 
leaves  of  his  linden. 

In  his  initial  troubles  and  anxieties  he  went 
to  a  German  doctor.  This  spectacled  wise 
man  prescribed  more  beer.  German  physi 
cians  seemed  to  be  in  league  with  the  brewers. 
Gard  was  of  the  kind  who  would  suffer  rather 
than  complain.  So  he  worried  along. 

He  did  not  J' all  in  with  the  urgent*  conscien 
tious  assumption  of  the  Buchers  that  he 
would  at  once  want  to  begin  driving  away  at 
"lessons."  His  hosts  reminded  him  openly  at 
times  that  his  prospective  teachers  were  still 
waiting,  still  recommending  themselves.  Re 
sponsibility  was  evidently  felt  for  his  pro- 


FAMILY  LIFE  31 

gramme  of  work.  He  realized  that  he  was 
somewhat  disappointing,  for  instruction,  edu 
cation,  is  such  a  pushing,  unceasing  business 
with  the  Germans.  It  may  be  said  they  never 
finish  school. 

Yet  he  wished  first  to  take  a  good  look  at 
the  historic  city,  its  celebrated  art  treasures. 
He  wanted  to  make  a  few  excursions  in  the 
environs  before  the  winter  set  in  with  its 
dampness  and  gloom.  Besides,  he  never  be 
fore  had  had  a  chance  at  fine  opera,  at  fine 
symphonies  and  music  recitals. 

"But  ought  not  Herr  Kirtley  at  least  begin 
with  the  free  evening  lectures?" — with  which 
Dresden  shone  through  the  illuminations  of 
many  profound  and  oracular  professors  in 
lofty  pulpits.  He  submitted  that  his  German 
was  too  feeble  of  wing  to  enable  him  to  soar 
into  the  heights  of  such  wisdom. 
r  The  zest  in  Germany  for  learning  and  ac 
complishments  was  truly  wonderful  to  him. 
Half  his  life  of  instruction  now  quickly 
seemed  to  have  been  idling.  As  far  as  indus- 
triousness,  drilling,  well-defined  ambitious- 
ness,  were  concerned,  the  young  German  had 
many  advantages. 

The  modest  Bucher  household  was  run  edu- 


32  VILLA  ELSA 

cationally  with  the  dynamic  regularity  of  mili 
tary  establishments.  It  was,  of  course,  no 
exception.  Lessons  and  lectures  commenced 
mornings  at  eight,  with  Sundays  partly  in 
cluded.  This  routine  begins  with  the  German 
child  at  six. 

Evenings,  too,  had  their  busy  duties.  No 
baseball,  no  tennis,  no  lazy  days  of  swimming 
and  fishing.  Playtime  was  spent  in  martial 
exercise,  in  evenings  at  the  opera  or  seeing  the 
classical  dramas  of  all  races  and  epochs  on  the 
stage.  Card  became  aware  that  the  Bucher 
children  had  carried  six  or  seven  studies  at  an 
age  when  he  had  thought  he  was  abused,  over 
burdened,  with  four. 

Besides,  their  courses  were  more  mature. 
And  yet  he  had  come  to  Germany,  despite 
Rebner's  eulogiums  of  the  Germans,  with  the 
complacent  idea  that,  as  he  was  the  re 
spectable  American  average,  he  could  look  the 
other  youth  of  the  world  in  the  face  un 
ashamed,  asking  no  odds. 

Little  Ernst  at  fifteen  was  studying,  among 
numerous  things,  philosophy  and  didactic  re 
ligion.  The  way  he  could  cite  facts  and  carry 
on  a  discussion  on  these  and  similar  subjects! 

"What  part  do  philosophy  and  religion  play 


FAMILY  LIFE  33 

in  our  system  of  instruction  for  the  young?" 
Gard  asked  himself  with  a  deprecatory  smile. 
"Is  it  a  miracle  that  the  Germans  can  teach 
us  desirable  knowledge  and  morals,  as  Rebner 
insists?" 

Kirtley  readily  perceived  that  he  had 
scarcely  sufficient  precise  information  to  dis 
cuss  intelligently  general  topics  with  this  boy. 
The  latter  could  always  quote  some  acknowl 
edged  and  ponderous  authority — German,  of 
course,  and  all  the  more  awe-inspiring,  but  of 
whom  Gard  had  not  heard.  For  it  usually 
came  down  to  the  question,  Who  are  your 
authorities?  He  rarely  could  tell  who  his  were. 
They  promptly  faded  away  before  all  the 
weight  and  definiteness  Ernst  could  bring  to 
bear. 

While  Rudolph  and  Ernst  were  so  far 
along  as  a  result  of  a  busy  adolescence,  Frau- 
lein  Elsa,  as  Gard  discovered,  was  in  her  way 
not  behind.  She  knew  English  and  French 
pretty  well  and  was  quite  an  accomplished 
musician,  able  to  play  from  memory  on  the 
winged  Pleyel  almost  whole  books  of  classic 
music.  She  could  paint  fairly  well  in  oil  and 
was  now  taking  up  etching  with  enthusiastic 
assiduity.  She  could  sew,  cook,  run  the  house. 


34  VILLA  ELSA 

In  brief,  her  days  were  as  full  as  her  brothers' 
in  propelling  tasks.  She,  apparently,  did  not 
have  "boys  on  the  brain." 

Kirtley  threw  up  his  hands  in  imitation  of 
his  venerated  professor.  This  was  just  an 
ordinary  German  miss.  He  had  scarcely 
dreamed  of  such  things  in  a  girl. 

It  was  all  illustrated  by  Card's  piano  play 
ing,  which  was  cheap  and  meaningless  strum 
ming.  He  could  rattle  through  a  lot  of  popu 
lar  tunes  and  stumble  through  a  few  short 
simple  school-girl  salon  pieces.  The  Buchers 
were  a  real  orchestra.  With  the  ladies  at  the 
piano,  the  old  Herr  at  the  flute,  Ernst  at  the 
violin  and  Rudi  at  the  'cello,  they  could  play 
a  dozen  programmes  and  furnish  enjoyment 
for  the  listener. 

And  always  salutary,  enlightened,  culti 
vated  music.  The  house  reverberated  with  a 
multitude  of  choice  enduring  arias,  sung, 
hummed  or  whistled,  and  this  made  Villa  Elsa 
almost  take  on  a  charm  for  Card.  He  had  not 
known  how  his  melodious  soul  was  starved. 

Why  should  not  the  Germans  be  expected 
to  have  noble  souls  with  all  the  wealth  of  dis 
tinguished,  inspiring  music  flowing  through 
their  lives?  Should  it  not  give  them  neces- 


FAMILY  LIFE  35 

sarily  a  strong,  desirable  spirit,  fortify  them 
in  healthy  aspirations,  encourage  them  to  get 
the  best  out  of  existence?  This  incentive  and 
pleasureableness,  making  for  the  good,  the 
true  and  the  beautiful — must  it  not  contribute 
a  deep  richness  and  righteousness  to  the  Teu 
ton  heart? 

And  is  it  to  be  wondered  at — the  Germans' 
big  supply  of  red  blood?  For  the  strength  of 
the  Teuton's  body,  Gard  observed,  was  built 
up,  maintained,  in  equal  measure  with  his 
other  training.  The  military  drilling  and 
strenuous  gymnastics  provided  him  with 
straight  shoulders,  a  full  chest,  a  sound  spine, 
strength  of  limb — in  short,  good,  presentable 
health. 

The  Bucher  fireside  had  no  doctor,  no 
adored  specialists,  hanging  about.  It  had 
been  taught  to  handle  simple  complaints  itself. 
Medical  and  surgical  bills  did  not  upset  its 
modest  financial  equilibrium.  The  family 
were  extraordinarily  well.  Their  brawn,  ener 
getically  looked  after  as  well  as  the  brain,  ac 
counted  partly  for  their  marvelous  appetites. 

So  nothing  seemed  to  Gard  to  be  missed  in 
this  potent  scheme  of  instruction  and  Kultur. 


CHAPTER  VI 

THE  HOME 

OFTEN  when  he  peeked  down  from  his 
attic  window  he  spied  the  shining  bald 
head  of  the  very  elderly  Herr  Bucher  sur 
rounded  by  the  mass  of  lively  colors  of  his 
rose  garden.  He  loved  to  spend  hours  there 
in  the  sunshine  with  his  posies,  tying  up  their 
branches,  clipping  choice  specimens  with 
which  he  was  fond  of  decorating  the  members 
of  Villa  Elsa,  its  dining  table,  its  living  room. 
Roses,  roses,  everywhere. 

It  was  his  hobby,  this  spot  of  blossoms,  and 
in  it  his  short,  bulky  form,  so  whitened  by  his 
Jovian  beard  meerschaumed  by  the  stains  from 
his  huge,  curving  German  pipe,  was  often 
almost  lost  to  view.  He  was  like  some 
droll  gnome  waddling  about  in  a  flower  patch. 
Frequently  someone  had  to  be  sent  to  find 
him  among  all  those  pets  which  he  knew  so 
well  by  their  Latin  and  popular  names  and 


THE  HOME  37 

by  their  characteristics.  While  he  grumbled 
and  so  often  stormed  about  in  the  house, 
speaking  always  in  gruff  tones  of  command, 
he  was  quite  sunny  out  there  in  his  plot, 
although  still  guttural  and  dictatorial. 

He  was  a  retired  professor  of  phonetics  and 
diction,  but  now  and  then  prepared  a  pupil. 
This  was  how  he  had  met  his  wife  a  long, 
long  time  before,  when  she  was  a  young 
singer.  She  was  twenty  years  his  junior  and 
had  become  so  completely  a  housewife  that 
you  could  scarcely  associate  her  with  any  art. 
She  was  fat,  harsh,  homely,  masculine  in  the 
way  of  German  women,  an  occasional  long 
hair  sticking  from  her  face  in  emulation  of 
a  beard. 

Devoid  of  any  graces  of  seduction,  putting 
out  her  heavy  fists  in  every  direction  she  ex 
hibited  a  bearish  kindness  toward  Gard  that 
seemed  calculated  at  first  to  frighten  him. 
She  was  loud-voiced,  iron- jawed.  One  of  her 
favorite  boasts  was  that  she  had  never  been 
to  a  dentist.  She  pulled  out  her  rarely  ach 
ing  teeth,  or  some  one  of  the  family  pulled 
them  for  her. 

The  Herr  could  be  smoother  and  he  as 
sumed  a  fatherly  solicitude  over  Gard,  look- 


38  VILLA  ELSA 

ing  out  for  his  advantages,  anxious  that  he 
should  make  progress.  But  Bucher  evidently 
was  annoyed  at  times  by  not  having  authority 
in  the  matter  of  the  slow  way  in  which  his 
young  guest  set  about  with  his  "studies." 
Kirtley  had  not  come  to  study,  had  not  been 
trained  to  study,  in  the  German  sense.  It 
would  have  been  difficult  to  make  the  old  man 
see  any  virtue  in  such  desultoriness.  It 
doubtless  proved  to  his  mind  that  Americans 
are  only  half  trained,  half  tamed,  half 
domesticated. 

The  couple  surrounded  Kirtley  with  a  pro 
tection,  an  honesty,  a  reliability,  a  zeal,  that 
was  as  surprising  as  it  was,  on  the  whole,  grati 
fying.  He  felt  a  security  he  had  hardly 
known  in  his  own  home.  If  he  were  cheated 
or  otherwise  imposed  upon  anywhere  in  Dres 
den — and  this  did  not  often  happen — the 
Bucher s  were  violently  up  in  arms  about  it 
and  never  ceased  pursuit  of  the  recreant  until 
the  wrong  was  righted. 

"The  good  German  name  must  not  be 
tarnished." 

In  a  word,  they  tried  to  treat  him  like  a 
son;  and  so  forceful  and  constant  were  their 
efforts  in  this  direction  that  he  sometimes 


THE  HOME  39 

wished  their  well-meant  attentions  were  less 
formidable.  The  easy  American  "forget  it," 
"why  bother,"  "never  again,"  were  expres 
sions  of  a  mood  unfamiliar  to  them.  They 
visibly  had  small  patience  with  such  slackness 
which  only,  to  their  minds,  encouraged  law 
lessness. 

The  setting  for  Card's  approaching  Ger 
man  love  affair  was  appropriately  picturesque 
and  propitious.  A  tight  little  meadow,  with 
a  grassy  path  wandering  through  by  the  Elbe, 
lay  near  at  hand,  and  beyond,  at  the  right, 
a  pine  wood — the  Waldpark — with  neat 
graveled  walks  and  rustic  seats  where  the 
tonic  air  was  often  to  brace  his  musings. 

Adjacent  was  the  small  summer  house,  still 
poetically  standing,  where  Schiller  wrote  "Don 
Carlos"  a  century  and  a  quarter  before.  A 
leafy  lane  led  from  the  meadow  to  the 
walled  garden  inclosure  of  Villa  Elsa,  whose 
branches,  vines  and  flowering  bushes  insisted 
on  making  it  almost  a  hidden  retreat.  The  spot 
could  not  be  more  gemutlich — that  familiar 
expressive  word  which  Kirtley  soon  learned  to 
rely  on  amid  the  scant  artillery  of  his  defensive 
weapons  of  conversational  German. 

Through  a  swinging  gate  in  the  wall,  and 


40  VILLA  ELSA 

usually  to  the  clanging  of  a  bell  that  an 
nounced  you,  you  entered  the  house  on  a  level 
with  the  ground.  On  this  floor  were  the 
kitchen  and  dining  room.  Next  came  the  belle 
etage,  with  the  salon  and  music  room  opening 
into  each  other,  and  with  another  apartment 
or  two.  Above,  the  chambers.  And  still 
above,  the  two  attic  rooms.  All  was  plain  but 
substantial. 

The  garden  furnished  not  only  flowers  but 
vegetables.  And  in  one  corner  stood  a  table 
and  chairs  for  afternoon  tea  with  cakes  or  beer 
with  cheese.  Here  the  ever-busy  sewing  and 
knitting  mainly  went  on  in  summer,  and  a  for 
gotten  book,  half  read,  was  usually  left  by 
some  one  of  the  young  folks.  There  was  a 
drowsy,  old-fashioned  air  about  the  premises 
that  recalled  illustrations  in  some  of  the 
editions  of  Grimm's  fairy  tales. 

Aside  from  the  abundance  of  bound  music, 
Gard  had  been  far  from  expecting  that  fine 
examples  of  art  and  literature  would  be  so 
meagerly  represented  in  this  representative 
German  home.  There  were  poor  pictures  of 
Bismarck,  of  William  the  Second,  and  of 
his  grandfather  aping  the  appearance  of 
Gambrinus. 


THE  HOME  41 

Prominent  also  were  steel  engravings  of 
Saxon  and  Prussian  kings  of  whom  Kirtley  had 
never  heard.  But  there  they  were,  conspicu 
ous  household  gods,  with  fierce,  epic  miens  and 
lordly  bodies,  surrounded  by  wreaths  of  glory 
and  Latin  texts,  and  supported  by  cannon 
pointed  at  the  observer  with  menaces  of  angry 
welcome.  And  not  to  be  forgotten  were  the 
august  thrones,  avenging  swords  of  royalty, 
and  the  dark  swirling  clouds  suggesting  the 
German  Olympus. 

"It  all  harmonizes  with  the  arsenal  down  in 
the  entrance,"  muttered  Gard. 

As  for  books,  he  was  taken  at  an  angle  still 
more  unexpected  and  significant.  Goethe  and 
Schiller  and  the  other  old  Teuton  classics, 
breathing  of  liberalness  and  freedom — figures 
that  had  always  stood  out  in  the  world  as  lead 
ing  exponents  and  guardians  of  a  cultured  en 
lightenment — were  only  present  in  the  Bucher 
home  in  the  form  of  musty,  unused  volumes. 

These  authors,  who  were  so  loved,  advocated 
and  expounded  in  American  colleges  and 
whom  Kirtley  had  come  to  Germany  to  know 
better  and  to  worship,  were  scarcely  ever  men 
tioned.  He  was  astonished  to  find  that  the 
Germans  thought  little  of  them.  And  Heine 


42  VILLA  ELSA 

likewise,  that  naughty  child  of  the  Vaterland ! 
At  the  Buchers  the  presentable  red  and  gilt 
edition  of  his  poems  was  kept  in  Fraulein's 
escritoire  in  her  room. 

American  education,  Gard  began  to  realize, 
was  somehow  on  the  wrong  track  here.  It 
was  trying  to  cultivate  a  Germany  that  no 
longer  seemed  to  exist.  It  was  diligently 
teaching  and  acclaiming  Teutons  who  were  re 
pudiated  in  their  own  land.  It  was  separating 
the  spirit  and  taste  of  the  two  peoples  instead 
of  bringing  them  together. 

The  books  that  were  in  evidence  in  Villa 
Elsa  were  a  new  lot,  excepting  the  great  and 
formidable  Nietschke.  Kirtley  had  never 
heard  of  the  Treitschkes  and  Bernhardis  and 
Hartmanns,  whom  the  Buchers  were  reading 
and  quoting. 

From  what  he  made  out,  these  and  similar 
authorities  were  insisting  mightily  on  German 
conceptions  and  prerogatives — some  exalting 
the  Teuton  supremacy  of  will,  others  urging 
and  preparing  the  mental  ground  for  an  armed 
attack  on  the  world  for  a  German  dictator 
ship.  This  militant  literature  was  introduced 
here  by  Rudolph,  who  was  armed  with  strategic 
plans,  diagrams,  military  maps,  which  the 


THE  HOME  43 

family  frequently  of  an  evening  pored  over 
with  the  enthusiasm  of  a  parlor  game.  First 
it  was  Russia  to  be  assaulted,  then  Belgium, 
and  always  France. 

"Italy  is  already  as  good  as  conquered," 
Rudi  proclaimed,  "and  England  simply  needs 
to  be  tilted  off  her  worm-eaten  perch  by  a  sud 
den  shock." 

Kirtley  rubbed  his  eyes.  What  a  wide 
spread,  horrible  butchery  was  being  nursed 
and  nourished  here  in  this  obscure  family  of 
peace?  Surely  this  good  folk  did  not  appreci 
ate  the  meaning  of  it  all.  Was  it  not  merely 
something  awfully  exciting  to  talk  about, 
argue  about,  puzzle  over,  in  the  prosaic  hum 
drum  at  this  respectable  hearthstone? 

Such  a  strange  form  of  social  entertain 
ment!  The  "arsenal"  below  always  came  to 
Card's  mind.  These  people  acted  as  if  they 
were  actually  thinking  of  capturing  the  whole 
Eastern  Hemisphere,  speaking  as  if  they  were 
going  to  rule  it  like  conquerors,  going  to  en 
force  at  the  point  of  the  blade  German 
"might,"  "will,"  "rights."  These  were  the  com 
mon  expressions  used.  Kirtley  thought  the 
household  must  be  unbalanced  on  this  topic. 

He  said  to  himself,  "No  one  else  whom  I 


44  VILLA  ELSA 

have  read  or  heard  of  is  contemplating  such  a 
campaign.  Other  races  are  holding  forth  on 
the  benefits  and  glories  of  peace.  These  Dres 
den  Germans  are  talking  of  the  benefits  and 
glories  of  war!" 

This  example  in  these  simple,  every-day 
Buchers  was  most  pointed.  Their  lines  were 
furthest  from  the  military.  Teaching  diction 
and  phonetics  to  women  and  male  singers, 
studying  engineering,  religion  and  the  gentle 
arts,  had  nothing  to  do  with  such  proposed 
bloody  belligerence. 

Only  Rudi  could  be  called  somewhat  mar 
tial.  Hydraulics  was  his  branch,  and  his  fre 
quent  absences  on  missions  about  which  he  as 
sumed  an  important  and  mystifying  air,  such 
as  is,  for  that  matter,  usual  in  bumptious 
young  men,  never  caused  any  comment  or  visi 
ble  interest  on  the  part  of  the  others.  He  gave 
himself  out  to  be  close  to  the  militaire,  familiar 
with  its  secrets,  as  he  freely  blew  his  cigarette 
smoke  across  the  meal  table;  and  to  him  the 
family  deferred  on  these  subjects.  Surely  all 
this  was  to  Gard  very  foreign  and  interesting. 

" What  a  different  race  of  beings !  What  a 
curious  revelation  to  observe,  what  a  doughty 
complex  to  comprehend!" 


THE  HOME  45 

He  was  more  confounded  by  the  attitude  of 
the  women.  They  were  even  fiercer  than  the 
men.  To  them  the  other  Europeans  were  a 
wholly  bad  lot.  Those  neighbors  were  so  much 
in  the  way  of  the  good,  all- worthy  Germans. 
But  it  was  on  the  English  that  this  feminine 
hatred  vented  itself  most  turbulently.  Frau 
Bucher  shouted  that  she  would  be  more  than 
glad — she  would  be  hilarious — if  war  came. 

"I  would  wear  my  last  rag  for  years,  see 
my  two  boys  dead  on  the  battle  front,  if  Gross 
Britain  could  be  knocked  into  the  bottom  of 
the  sea." 

Was  all  this  a  part  of  that  national  gladness 
Gard  was  observing  in  Germany  and  could 
not  gage,  could  not  yet  give  an  explicit  and 
sufficient  reason  for?  Those  old-time  Teuton 
liberals,  masters  of  prose  and  verse — how 
would  they  feel  at  home  in  this  modern  Rhine- 
land  of  hysterical  spleen  and  arms  provo 
cative?  Was  it  possible  he  had  really  come  on 
a  sort  of  fool's  errand? 


CHAPTER  VII 

GERMAN  LOVING 

FRAULEIN  ELSA  was  a  blooming, 
almost  blue-eyed  young  woman  of 
twenty.  Such  a  fresh,  strawberry  and  cream 
complexion  under  a  plenteous  harvest  of 
flaxen  hair  would  not  be  associated  in  America 
with  anyone  very  serious.  There  she  would 
have  been  thought  arrayed  by  Nature  as  a 
tearing  blonde,  suitable  for  the  equivocal  light 
stage,  or  as  a  frivolous  artist's  model,  or  as 
promenade  girl  in  a  suit  and  cloak  house.  But 
in  Fraulein  the  extraordinary  combination  of 
volatile  comeliness  and  unimpeachable  earn 
estness  daily  worked  growing  wonders  in 
Kirtley. 

It  is  a  luckless  young  traveler  who  does  not 
find  himself  or  herself  engaged  in  some  ro 
mance,  permanent  or  transient,  which  ever 
after  sweetens  or  gilds  the  memories  of  the 
tour.  Moreover  Gard  was  at  an  age  when 

46 


GERMAN  LOVING  47 

youthful  susceptibilities  were  softened  by  the 
lackadaisicalness  of  his  returning  state  of 
health  and  hope. 

So  his  difficulties  with  the  German  lan 
guage,  feasting,  sleeping  and  redoubtable 
ways  in  general,  were  to  be  complicated  by 
German  loving.  The  shining  object  of  his 
tenderness — how  she  was  to  lend  brightness  to 
the  short  dismal  days  and  long  black  nights  of 
the  Teuton  winter !  At  first  he  had  asked  him 
self: 

"Is  a  campaign  of  the  heart  in  Deutschland 
as  portentous,  dreadfully  systematic,  a  pro 
ceeding  as  the  other  undertakings?  Do  the 
Germans  go  at  that  sort  of  thing,  too,  hammer 
and  tongs?" 

The  glowing  Fraulein  was  able-bodied, 
full-chested,  with  every  golden  promise  of  a 
rich  maternityhood.  Did  American  girls  have 
any  bosoms  to  speak  of?  Gard  seemed  now  to 
have  never  noticed  that  feature  in  them.  Yet 
bounding  breasts  are  the  unashamed  pride  of 
German  girls. 

While  the  Yankee  miss  is  often  to  be  iden 
tified  by  complaints  of  a  physical  nature,  Elsa 
had  no  aches  or  pains  to  talk  about.  She  had 
a  strength  competent  to  support  all  her  ener- 


43  VILLA  ELSA 

getic,  meritorious  endeavors.  A  thoroughly 
well  woman — what  an  exceptional  being,  a 
god-send!  It  is  not  the  fashion  with  maids 
beyond  the  Rhine  to  be  ailing.  Weak  backs, 
nervous  prostration,  indigestion  and  similar 
indispositions  were  not  topics  at  the  Buchers*. 
To  be  coquettishly  delicate  or  romantically  ill 
is  a  liability  to  the  Germans.  Health,  unen- 
chanting  as  it  may  be,  is  a  prime  asset.  That 
the  Teuton  women  are  gormands — what  is 
that  compared  with  their  willingness  to 
mother  six  or  more  sturdy  youngsters? 

Had  Frau  Bucher  been  an  Elsa  at 
twenty?  Yes,  in  the  main,  yet  impossible  to 
conceive.  Would  Elsa  become  at  fifty-five 
like  her  parent?  Heaven  forbid!  But  Youth 
ignores  such  deterrent  probabilities. 

The  daughter  and  her  manifold  achieve 
ments  easily  bowled  Gard  over.  Was  he  in 
love  or  did  he  merely  imagine  he  was?  Was 
he  filling  with  the  divine  fire  or  only  being 
smitten?  Who  could  ever  tell?  And  what  is, 
in  fact,  the  practical  difference?  Kindly  old 
Rebner  had  hinted  that  it  would  not  be  amiss 
in  Gard  to  bring  home  one  of  the  excellent 
German  mddchens  with  her  brimming  stock 
of  health  and  efficiency. 


GERMAN  LOVING  49 

"She  v/ould  be  an  answer  to  our  American 
servant  girl  question,  flood  your  fireside  with 
invigorating  music,  and  rear  a  house  full  of 
robust  children.  It  would  be  a  novel  and  com 
mendable  experiment  and  experience  for  you, 
Kirtley." 

Of  course  Heine  is  the  approved  route  with 
a  German  girl.  Card  borrowed  from  Frau- 
lein  an  old  copy  of  the  "Buch  der  Lieder." 
Very  obliging  at  times  like  the  rest  of  the 
family  in  the  business  of  improving  his  accent, 
she  urged  that  if  he  would  commit  some  of 
those  little  prized  poems  to  heart,  she  would 
supervise  his  intonations.  He  eagerly  betook 
himself  to  this  charming  exercise,  and  it  was 
not  long  before  he  was  inviting  her  to  walk 
along  that  alluring  path  through  the  meadow 
by  the  persuasive  water.  Here  he  repeated 
over  and  over  to  her  the  very  pertinent  lines, 

Thou'rt  like  unto  a  flower, 

and 

Thou  lov'st  me  not,  thou  lov'st  me  not, 

under  the  conscientious  reproofs  of  her  en 
gaging  diction. 


50  VILLA  ELSA 

But  never  more  than  for  half  an  hour  at  a 
time.  This  was  all  she  could  spare  him.  Her 
days  were  very  strictly  divided  by  her  pressing 
concerns.  A  sightly  young  woman  so  tremen 
dously  busy — it  was  almost  exasperating. 

And  he  could  not  establish  any  tender  qual 
ity  of  relationship  that  would  warm  a  delect 
able  exchange  of  rosy  intimations  or  tentative 
expressions  of  budding  feelings  of  delight.  It 
was  teacher  and  pupil.  She  unsuspectingly 
insisted  on  following  her  role  of  preceptress 
and  very  earnest  was  she  about  it,  too. 

She  saw  nothing  comical  in  his  frequent  lin 
guistic  stumblings  that  would  naturally  lead 
to  melting  moods.  As  the  Germans  have,  of 
course,  little  humor,  she  found  in  these  faulty 
exhibitions  only  causes  for  disappointed 
glances  and  reprimands  approaching  severity. 
Often  you  would  have  thought  he  was  a  boy 
of  ten  reciting  his  lesson  at  her  knee. 

"Now  Thursday  by  half  past  ten,  you  must 
have  that  line  right  or  I  will  scold  you."  And 
she  would  sometimes  laugh  a  little  in  her  dis 
couragement. 

She  looked  upon  it  as  a  duty,  a  voluntary 
drudgery,  but  which,  she  assured  him,  she  was 
most  pleased  to  do.  For  she  loved  Heine — 


GERMAN  LOVING  51 

raved  about  him,  like  sentimental  German 
maids.  She  could  never  go  over  his  verse 
often  enough.  And  so  she  encouraged  Card 
to  keep  on.  It  was  a  reflected  part  of  her  nor 
mal  disciplined  life  of  acquisition. 

After  a  month  of  these  tactics  he  realized 
he  was  making  no  headway  toward — he  did 
not  acknowledge  what.  Young  men  as  a  type 
did  not  seem  to  Elsa  of  special  interest  any 
more  than  a  hundred  other  objects  on  earth. 
And  then  the  cold  weather  before  long  put  an 
end  to  the  little  promenades  of  rime  by  the 
shore,  and  Gard  had  to  try  other  lines  of  at 
tack  on  this  radiant  and  beflowered  German 
fortress. 

The  park  of  fir  trees  lay  quite  beyond  the 
meadow.  It  was  a  silent,  evocative  spot,  un 
frequented  except  for  a  peasant  now  and  then 
trudging  along  under  a  bundle  of  wood  or  a 
weather-beaten  basket  of  provisions.  Kirt- 
ley  had  managed  to  stray  that  far  once  with 
Elsa,  but  learned  that  the  mother  was  ex 
pected  to  accompany  at  such  distances.  It 
provoked  his  silent  comment, 

"As  nearly  as  I  can  estimate,  about  a  half  a 
mile  from  home  is  all  that  is  allowed  a  German 
miss  unchaperoned." 


52  VILLA  ELSA 

It  was  the  same  when  he  invited  Fraulein 
to  the  opera  or  theater.  The  parent  must  at 
tend.  As  she  was  equally  occupied,  it  did  not 
appear  easy  for  him  to  arrange  for  the  two. 
Besides,  Frau  Bucher  killed  everything  under 
these  confounding  and  confounded  circum 
stances.  She  sat  between  him  and  her  daugh 
ter  and  ruled  the  conversation.  It  was  little 
better  than  taking  her  alone,  so  he  abandoned 
also  these  enterprises. 

In  the  talk  at  table  the  family,  with  Teuton 
tactlessness,  now  and  then  cried  out  the  sur 
passing  merits  of  the  German  young  man. 
Unquestionably  he  led  all  others.  Gard  met 
no  success  in  stemming  the  tide,  miffed  as  he 
was  about  this  social  seclusion  of  the  daughter. 
He  soon  saw  his  mistake  in  feeling  personally 
hurt,  as  if  insulted.  It  was  but  the  custom. 
Could  it  be  indeed  a  fact  that  German  youths 
were  such  moral  reprobates  that  girls  could 
not  be  trusted  to  their  unguarded  companion 
ship?  The  question  had  no  meaning  to  his 
hosts.  It  was  useless  to  hint  of  such  an  idea, 
burning  as  he  often  was  to  launch  it  upon  the 
waves  of  discussion.  To  them,  chaperoning 
signified  the  highest  morals. 

They  exploded  with,   "It  may  very  well 


GERMAN  LOVING  53 

be  as  you  say  in  America!  That  is  to  be 
expected.  Are  there  any  morals  in  the 
United  States?  We  have  heard  awful 
things.  There  are  the  Mormons.  There  is 
co-education.  And  young  girls  of  the  best 
families  go  around  loose  with  men  day  and 
night.  What  could  be  the  result?  Free  love. 
And  free  love  means  cheap  love  or  no  love  at 
all.  Admittedly  pretty  low  conditions  for 
virtue.  What  else  can  be  looked  for  in  a  coun 
try  where  all  sorts  of  people  come  promiscu 
ously  from  everywhere?  Divorces,  voting  fe 
males,  slatterns,  homelessness,  neglected, 
poorly  educated  children." 

If,  in  passing,  America  and  Americans 
were  referred  to  in  the  family,  and  this  was 
rare,  Elsa,  Gard  noticed,  kept  silent.  Yet  she 
could  be  very  wrought  up  about  other  Euro 
peans.  This  nursed  his  fancies.  He  inter 
preted  it  in  terms  of  promise.  Elsa,  he 
decided,  was  a  good  girl  in  a  hedge-hog  envi 
ronment  of  unbelievable  traits,  of  warring 
contrasts. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

GERMAN  COURTSHIP 

ONCE  during  the  winter  he  tried  on  her 
a  course  of  flirtation  which  he  had 
learned  very  well  in  his  Sophomore  year.  But 
German  girls  do  not  flirt.  His  arrows  sank 
in  feebly,  impotently,  as  if  her  attention  had 
the  despairing  resistance  of  a  sandbag.  Un 
perturbed  she  made  nothing  of  it.  He  felt 
that  she  thought  he  was  silly  or  had  the  rickets. 
So  he  speedily  gave  this  up. 

Thus  he  became  aware  how  vastly  different 
are  courtship  and  other  relations  between 
young  men  and  young  women  in  America  and 
in  Germany.  He  asked  himself. 

"Are  the  German  ways  more  civilized?" 
Certainly,  to  the  Teuton,  they  represent  a 
more  creditable  and  becoming  evolution.  He 
always  stoutly  favors  his  own  customs,  and 
finds  little  here  to  discuss.  Even  if  a  rotten 
morality  in  his  young  gods  is  to  be  assumed, 

54 


GERMAN  COURTSHIP  55 

this  would  be  proper  as  in  the  young  gods  of 
the  mythologies. 

The  Teuton  marriage  refers  plainly  to 
property.  The  language  has  prominent  terms 
indicating  how  espousal  means  goods  with  a 
woman  attached  to  them.  There  is  scarcely  an 
equivalent  in  English.  Courtship  in  the  form 
of  natural  little  raptures  that  disport  in  and 
beautify  enamored  companionship  in  youth, 
the  pure,  unfettered,  mystic  attraction  be 
tween  the  sexes  in  blossoming  time,  are  prac 
tically  unknown  to  the  German  social  life. 
The  full  gloss  of  fancy,  the  velveting  of  man 
ners,  the  felicitous  fabrication  of  innocent 
emotions  into  a  blessed  garment  of  many 
colors,  find  their  development  outside  the  do 
main  of  Thor.  Such  associations  have  there 
no  charming  playtime,  but  forthwith  make  for 
permanent  good  or  permanent  evil. 

Accordingly,  for  Card,  in  his  fond  inclina 
tions,  there  was  no  experience  with  Cupids 
about  the  Bucher  flower  garden.  Only,  as  it 
were,  a  sort  of  rough  sledding  on  broken,  jolt 
ing  ice!  And  he  noted  the  comparative  ab 
sence  of  such  delicate  sentiment  in  German 
literature.  Aside  from  Heine,  who  became 
French,  German  letters  have  relatively  little 


56  VILLA  ELSA 

to  offer  on  this  score.  The  very  language  dis 
courages  love-making.  Since  Heine's  exile  a 
century  ago,  the  increasing  might  of  the  ar 
mored  Hohenzollerns  had  finally  almost  killed 
all  this. 

Gard  was  thrown  out  of  gear  in  another 
way.  Fraulein's  lack  not  only  of  amatory  com 
plaisance  but  of  social  polish  or  even  facility 
kept  him  dubious  and  disconcerted.  She 
brusquely  alternated  between  a  sisterly  ten 
derness  of  familiarity,  almost  exaggerated, 
only  to  follow  it  by  a  sudden,  disquieting  flop 
over  on  the  side  of  a  formality  as  stiff  as  buck 
ram.  She  would  be  as  distant  as  if  they  were 
two  boarders  having  a  tiff  in  a  pension.  These 
detachments  were  not  because  of  anything 
Kirtley  had  done  or  said.  They  formed  a 
natural  example  of  Gothic  undevelopedness 
in  human  relations,  the  rude  unevenness  of 
beginners. 

But,  then,  he  forgave  her  for  this. 

"Is  she  not  extremely  occupied — full  of 
pursuits?  How  admirable!" 

It  shamed  him,  spurred  him  on  not  a  little. 
For  days  he  would  only  see  her  at  the  gener 
ous  meals  where  she  exclaimed  over  her  dread 
of  getting  fat.  That  usually  furnishes  a  Ger- 


GERMAN  COURTSHIP  57 

man  with  an  excuse  for  being  helped  to  more. 
She  dutifully  played  of  an  evening  in  the  fam 
ily  orchestra,  yet  this  was  a  musical,  not  a 
social,  happening.  The  severe  if  rich  har 
monies  that  were  favored,  largely  with  the 
idea  of  drill,  created  generally  an  atmosphere 
of  austerity. 

She  could  not  understand  Card's  offers  to 
carry  her  umbrella  over  her  to  a  class  or  to 
bring  her  a  storm  coat  in  case  of  need.  Such 
attentiveness  meant  intrusions  almost  to  be  re 
sented.  She  appeared  to  frown  upon  any 
kindly  little  considerations  that  should  have 
been  agreeable  to  her  or  at  any  rate  conve 
nient.  She  had  been  brought  up  to  do  every 
thing  for  herself.  There  was  nothing  of  the 
clinging  vine  about  her.  Young  German 
women  are  not  expected  to  lean  upon  men  in 
this  wise. 

Presents  of  candy  or  what-not  are  looked 
upon  with  an  inquisitive  or  doubtful  eye, 
especially  by  the  parents.  For  the  German 
girl  has  no  charming  secrets  from  her  father 
and  mother.  They  must  know  all,  with  imme 
diate  conjectures  about  marriage.  Troubling 
gifts,  consequently,  became  rathei*  out  of  the 
question  with  Gard. 


58  VILLA  ELSA 

He  feared  that  Fraulein  Elsa  might  reflect 
sometimes  the  feeling  of  unfriendliness  which 
he  was  aware  of  in  the  supercilious  Rudi.  The 
latter  exhibited  a  negligent  attitude  of  indif 
ference  toward  Gard,  though  it  was  cloaked 
under  casualness.  There  was  a  sinister  air 
about  the  young  engineer,  and  she  would  be 
bound  to  follow  submissively  anyone  breath 
ing  the  military  ozone. 

Under  all  these  unsettling  circumstances, 
Kirtley's  uncertain  attachment  for  the  Ger 
man  language  did  not  increase  by  Peter 
Schlemihl  strides.  Besides,  his  regular 
teacher  was  something  like  a  wild  boar.  He 
had  proceeded  to  dragoon  Gard  as  if  he  were 
a  lad.  And  Herr  Keller's  person  was  offen 
sive.  He  exhaled  a  smell  unpleasant  if  scho 
lastic.  Dressed  in  a  soiled,  shiny,  black  garb, 
and  with  a  bristly  mustache  and  beard  which 
often  showed  egg  of  a  morning,  he  talked  bla 
tantly  of  having  been  in  Paris  as  a  soldier  in 
'70.  It  was  his  one  excursion  out  of  Saxony. 

Even  the  German  language  at  such  a  cost 
was  not  very  inviting.  Finally  Gard  received 
a  curt  note  to  the  effect  that  if  he  were  not 
more  assiduous,  the  lessons  would  better  end. 


GERMAN  COUETSHIP  59 

Herr  Keller  did  not  want  to  be  bothered  witH 
triflers. 

"Bounced  from  school!"  Kirtley  exclaimed. 
It  was  the  first  time.  He  took  advantage  of 
this  opportunity  to  discontinue. 

He  could  see  that  his  hosts  did  not  blame 
the  professor.  Why,  he  was  capable  of  forc 
ibly  drilling  the  Teuton  language  and  litera 
ture  into  a  post  hole.  This  doubtless  confirmed 
Kirtley' s  failure  as  a  student  in  their  eyes. 
And  this  was  to  be  looked  for  in  Americans 
who  think  that  they  can  acquire  knowledge 
and  know  life  by  gadding  about  and  "observ 
ing,"  instead  of  by  book  study.  The  awful 
German  language  seemed  doomed  to  blast 
Card's  affectionate  hopes. 

While  his  burgeoning  amorousness  met  with 
such  blighting  encouragement  in  the  direction 
of  Fraulein  Elsa,  it  encountered  unexpect 
edly  an  immense  and  yearning  bosom  in 
another  quarter.  Fraulein  Wasserhaus,  next 
door,  clamored  for  a  mate.  With  cowlike  sim- 
plencss  she  almost  bellowed  out  for  love.  Of 
an  age  verging  on  the  precarious  she  waddled 
into  and  out  from  Villa  Elsa  with  bulging 
breasts  so  bared,  under  the  transparent  pre 
tenses  of  white  gauze,  that  Frau  Bucher  de- 


60  VILLA  ELSA      s 

clared  herself  shocked.  She  said  that  the  Was- 
serhaus  was  trying  to  be  a  part  of  the  disgrace 
ful  Naked  Kultur  that  had  been  assailing 
Germany. 

When  this  bovine  soul  came  to  know  of 
Kirtley's  presence,  she  fastened  her  consum 
ing  desires  upon  him.  She  had  a  brother  in 
America  and  actively  developed  a  hankering 
to  go  there  and  be  near  him.  Yoking  up  with 
a  Yankee  would  be  a  most  natural  and  fitting 
state  in  which  to  negotiate  the  Atlantic. 

As  the  Bucher  wall  was  too  high  for  her  to 
hang  over  in  her  languishing  ardors,  she  hung 
over  her  gate  to  offer  a  book  or  a  tiger  lily 
to  Card  as  he  passed.  Several  times  when  the 
pachydermatous  Tekla  banged  her  way  up 
stairs  with  an  armful  of  utensils  in  her  work, 
a  bouncing  compote  or  other  unabashed  deli 
cacy  would  be  tumbling  about  on  a  dustpan 
or  a  slop  basin,  bound  for  the  attic  room  by 
the  linden  tree.  Twice  a  belabored  missive 
accompanied  these  little  couriers,  anxiously 
quoting  some  anguishing  sentimentality  from 
one  of  the  household  poets  writhing  amid  the 
pages  of  the  affecting  Gartenlaube. 

It  was  at  first  so  bothersome  that  Gard  con 
templated  leaving  the  neighborhood.  Even 


GERMAN  COURTSHIP  61 

the  Buchers,  truest  of  prosy  Germans,  could 
grasp  the  ridiculousness  of  this  situation,  and 
it  was  the  one  item  of  noisy  fun  they  could 
fall  back  upon  when  they  wished  to  be  especi 
ally  entertaining. 

"Mein  Gott!"  the  Frau  would  cry  out  when 
going  over  her  troubles  and  arduous  occupa 
tions.  "And  I've  got  to  get  a  husband  for 
the  Wasserhaus  yet!"  The  Herr  often  went 
into  a  deafening  rage  about  it. 

"Is  there  no  way  to  keep  that  lachrymose 
female  out  of  my  house  with  her  belated  calf 
love?  She  annoys  the  good  Herr  Kirtley." 
And  he  would  toddle  out,  slamming  the  door 
like  a  clap  of  thunder. 

The  family  assumed  a  very  self-conscious 
behavior  when  the  lorn  maiden  was  mentioned, 
and  were  anxious  Gard  should  know  that, 
while  unfortunately  she  was  their  neighbor, 
she  was  not  at  all  of  their  stratum. 

"Poor  girl!"  Gard  mused.  There  were 
nearly  half  again  as  many  women  as  men  in 
Saxony. 

At  last  he  came  to  know  there  seemed  to 
be  a  mystery  about  Fraulein  Elsa — some 
thing  which  was  hidden  from  him.  And  a  new 
and  deeper  interest  was  summoned  forth  from 


62  VILLA  ELSA 

within  his  breast.  Occasionally  at  table  she 
was  silent  as  a  mile  stone.  Some  days  she 
did  not  appear  to  his  sight  at  all.  And  then, 
when  he  did  see  her,  she  evidently  wanted  to 
avoid  him.  Very  true  it  was  that  she  often 
pored  over  the  little  volume  of  Heine  in  her 
room  without  a  word  to  anyone.  But,  of  a 
sudden,  she  would  become  frankly  in  evidence 
again — a  floral  and  quite  superb  girl,  reso 
lutely  "making  good,"  as  was  her  wont. 

"What  is  it?"  Card  wondered. 

None  of  the  family  ever  referred  to  it. 
Even  in  his  intimate  talks  with  her  mother, 
whom  Gard  now  and  then  practiced  his  Ger 
man  upon  as  she  was  plying  her  needle,  noth 
ing  was  divulged.  There  was  no  young  Ger 
man  coming  to  the  house  with  regularity.  Con 
sequently,  could  it  be  love  difficulties?  Yet 
something  was  wrong.  It  lent  respect  to 
Elsa,  threw  enhancement  about  her. 

Gard  concluded  that  the  roughness  of  the 
Bucher  family  life  mortified  her.  It  was  often 
well-nigh  outlandish.  How  could  she  have  so 
ardently  studied  the  beautiful  in  music  and 
colors  without  realizing  this? 

But  he  had  not  been  long  enough  in  Ger 
many  to  be  advised  that  knowledge  is  not 


GERMAN  COURTSHIP  63 

expected  there  to  enter  into  the  inner  life. 
What  one  is  has  little  in  common  with  what 
one  knows  or  can  dexterously  do.  Study  does 
not  pass  into  character.  The  German,  with  all 
his  acquirements,  does  not  look  for  moral  or 
esthetic  effect  upon  the  heart  or  soul. 

German  women  esteem  the  strong  fighter, 
the  rugged  accomplishes  the  boisterous  enthu 
siast,  among  their  men.  Whether  these  are 
atheistic,  immoral,  boorish,  cruel,  are  consid 
erations  of  secondary  importance.  The 
daughters  marry  them  with  little  hesitation. 
Men  are  men,  supreme,  to  be  adored.  Women 
are  to  be  tolerated,  stepped  on,  sat  upon.  Man 
is  the  master,  woman  is  the  willing  servant. 


CHAPTER  IX 
A  JOURNALIST 

GARD'S  experience  in  perfecting  himself 
in  German  met  with  another  rebuff. 
Under  the  prompting  of  his  parental  friends 
in  Villa  Elsa  he  concluded  at  length  to  attend 
a  course  of  lectures  given  by  a  celebrated  pro 
fessor  who  was,  however,  known  to  be  of  an 
exceptionally  cantankerous  disposition.  Kirt- 
ley  had  become  aware  of  the  querulous  restric 
tions  and  exactions  attending  the  most  peace 
ful  German  activities  and  made  sure  of  his 
ground  at  the  class  room,  whither  he  went  one 
morning  with  encouraging  expectations.  He 
asked  the  janitor  if  the  hearings  were  free  and 
public.  They  were. 

It  was  the  usual  amphitheater  and  Gard 
entered  to  find  only  a  few  regular  students 
down  in  the  front  rows.  He  decided  on  a  seat 
alone  in  the  center.  Herr  Professor,  be- 

64 


A  JOURNALIST  65 

spectacled,  soon  clambered  up  on  the  rostrum 
and  squatted  dumpily.  Blear-eyed  he  scanned 
the  place  and  blurted  out: 

"There  is  a  stranger  in  the  room.  The  lec 
ture  will  not  proceed  until  he  departs."  Gard, 
having  been  assured  by  the  janitor,  could  not 
imagine  that  he  himself  was  meant.  The  man 
of  prodigious  learning  shouted  angrily,  throw 
ing  out  his  arm  toward  Kirtley: 

"Must  I  repeat  that  there  is  a  foreigner  in 
the  audience?  I  shall  not  begin  until  his  pres 
ence  has  been  removed." 

Gard  went  away,  incensed.  Surely,  he 
swore  to  himself,  Teuton  erudition  acts  so 
often  like  a  mad  bear  ready  to  claw  away  at 
men  and  things.  He  never  attended  another 
day  lecture. 

But  he  had  to  get  on  with  his  German.  He 
decided  to  put  an  advertisement  for  an  in 
structor  in  the  Dresden  Nachtrichten.  At  its 
bureau  he  ran  counter  to  a  lot  of  ifs  and  ands 
at  the  hands  of  a  surly  young  clerk.  A  Ger 
man,  naturally  gruff,  only  needs  a  small  posi 
tion  to  increase  his  acerbity.  His  newspapers 
display,  likewise,  a  disagreeable  officiousness1, 
being  nearly  always,  to  some  extent,  bureau 
cratic  organs.  They  are  lords,  not  servants, 


66  VILLA  ELSA 

of  the  public.  They  do  not  appear  to  want 
your  business,  your  money. 

Card's  imperfect  German  balked  him,  too. 
After  he  had  been  back  and  forth  to  the  little 
window  three  or  four  times,  trying  to  alter  his 
"ad"  to  suit  the  rasping  individual  whose  face 
Gard  could  scarcely  catch  a  glimpse  of  by 
stooping  down  to  the  aperture,  an  American 
stepped  forward.  He  was  a  steel  gray  man  of 
about  sixty  and  was  inserting  a  notice.  He 
said  he  was  familiar  with  all  the  rigors  of  such 
a  proceeding,  being  a  correspondent  for  the 
Chicago  Gazette. 

"Perhaps  I  can  help,"  volunteered  Miles 
Anderson.  "After  having  had  scraps  and 
fights  about  this  sort  of  thing  around  this 
country  for  seven  years — though  the  Germans 
won't  fight — I've  finally  got  the  hang  of  it. 
You  can  save  three  or  four  words  by  a  differ 
ent  jargon.  I  can  see  you  are  an  American 
because  you  take  up  more  room  about  this 
than  necessary.  German  economy,  you  must 
remember." 

Gard  was  glad  to  find  a  friend  of  his  race. 
And  after  the  advertisement  was  disposed  of, 
they  repaired  to  a  neighboring  beer  hall  to 
refresh  and  relieve  their  feelings.  Anderson 


A  JOURNALIST  67 

was  smooth-shaven,  with  piercing  gray  eyes 
under  bushy  eyebrows,  his  head  presenting  the 
appearance  of  just  having  been  in  a  barber's 
chair.  With  the  insistent  curiosity  of  a  prac 
ticed  interviewer  he  wanted  to  know  why 
Kirtley  had  come  to  this  godless  land;  where 
he  was  hanging  out;  and  all  about  the 
Buchers. 

A  bachelor,  Anderson  had  become  tough 
ened  by  hotel  and  pension.  He  thought  Kirt 
ley  very  fortunate  in  getting  right  into  a  fam 
ily  where  the  veritable  German  bloom  had  not 
been  rubbed  off  by  foreigners,  by  boarders. 
It  would  be  a  most  fragrant  experience.  Here 
Kirtley  would  see  on  the  native  heath  the  gen 
uine  German  of  the  great  middle  class  that 
makes  up  the  might  of  the  nation. 

"Can  you  read  German  comfortably?" 
asked  Anderson.  "What  do  you  make  of  it? 
I've  been  studying  it  for  seven  years  and 
sometimes  it  seems  as  if  I  hadn't  got  much 
further  than  the  verb  to  hate." 

"You  can't  give  me  any  short  cuts  about 
it,  then?"  laughed  Gard. 

"Yes,  I  can — yes,  I  can.  Here's  a  little 
compilation  and  analysis  of  the  irregular 
verbs,"  explained  his  new  acquaintance,  pull- 


68  VILLA  ELSA 

ing  a  green  brochure  from  his  pocket.  "Only 
costs  a  mark.  You  can  get  a  second-hand  one 
at  the  book  stalls  by  the  Augustus  bridge.  I 
always  carry  it  with  me  and  con  it  over  and 
over.  Good  for  the  pronunciation.  If  you 
get  the  irregular  verbs  of  a  language  well  fed 
into  your  system,  youVe  got  the  language  by 
the  windpipe. 

"Then  buy  Simplicissimus.  You'll  pick 
up  a  good  deal  from  that — the  popular  ex 
pressions,  the  phrases  and  exclamations  that 
are  going.  If  you  learn  to  use  the  exclama 
tions,  it  makes  you  interesting  and  well-liked. 
It  gives  the  other  fellow  the  chance  to  do  the 
talking.  Simplicissimus  and  that  kind  of 
thing  are  better  than  the  dry,  stilted  German 
classics — 'Ekkehard,'  'Nathan  der  Weise' 
and  all  that  discarded  stuff.  But  remember 
that  esprit  was  not  given  the  Germans,  because 
it  would  hide  their  Boeotian  stupidity." 

"I  haven't  yet  seen — I  suppose  I  shall  see" — 
said  Kirtley,  "why  the  general  American  stu 
dent  like  me  is  so  persistently  encouraged  to 
come  to  Germany.  Why  is  it?" 

"Because  we  are  damn  fools,"  heartily  re 
joined  Anderson.  "The  Germans  don't  have 
education.  They  have  instruction.  The  one 


A  JOURNALIST  69 

makes  gentlemen.  The  other  makes  experts. 
It  is  hard  for  an  expert  to  be  a  gentleman. 
They  don't  have  gentlemen  in  Germany.  No 
such  word  in  their  language.  It  is  a  nation 
of  experts,  but  that's  precisely  the  reason  it 
should  be  feared.  Why,  education  would 
teach  a  German  not  to  slobber  at  his  meals. 

"It  is  his  strenuous  ingrowing  instruction 
that  cultivates  his  extreme  national  egotism 
until  it  has  become  like  a  boil.  His  racial 
egoism  helps  obscure  the  obscure  sunlight 
here  in  Germany  and  blinds  him.  He  has  to 
wear  spectacles.  It  is  a  natural  cry,  his  cry 
for  a  place  in  the  sun." 

"Should  I  have  gone  to  England  or 
France?"  suggested  Gard. 

"Yes.  At  any  rate,  not  here.  The  Ger 
man  procedure  roughens  the  fiber  and  lowers 
the  moral  standards  of  the  general  student. 
Instruction  here  is  along  mental  and  manual 
lines.  The  Teuton  is  meant  to  be  a  specialist. 
He  is  competent  but  not  refined." 

The  two  compatriots  gossiped  along  about 
this  and  that. 

"I'm  having  a  devil  of  a  time  sleeping  on 
my  bed,"  confessed  Gard.  "You  ought  to 


70  VILLA  ELSA 

know  about  German  beds.  How  do  you  get 
on  with  them?" 

"The  German  bed  helps  to  give  the  Ger 
man  his  bad  disposition.  I  put  two  beds  side 
by  side  and  sleep  across  the  middle.  That's 
one  way  to  fool  the  German  bed.  If  I  saw 
yours  I  might  be  able  to  suggest  something." 

Anderson  frankly  expressed  a  desire  to  visit 
the  Loschwitz  home.  So  on  Card's  invitation 
they  had  lunch  and  went  out  to  his  suburb. 


CHAPTER  X 

SPIES  AND  WAR 

THEY  took  off  the  bed  clothes,  including 
the  two  huge  feather  bolsters  in  the 
center. 

"These  bolsters  are  for  the  gingerbread 
effect  that  the  German  likes  everywhere,"  ex 
plained  the  visitor.  They  examined  the  re 
maining  construction.  It  was  narrow  and 
short.  It  suggested  a  granite-like  base. 

"Rock  of  Ages!"  commented  Anderson. 
"As  you  can't  ask  for  an  additional  bed,  all 
I  can  see  is  for  you  to  swill  beer  and  then 
you  don't  care  where  you  sleep.  That's  the 
way  the  Germans  do." 

The  journalist  appeared  disappointed  in 
not  meeting  any  of  the  family  that  first  day. 
Frau  was  overwhelmed  in  kitchen  duties  and 
not  presentable.  The  other  members  were 
away,  working,  working.  Anderson  had  to 
be  contented  with  Gard's  description  of  them, 
after  the  latter  had  passed  the  cigars. 

71 


72  VILLA  ELSA 

"Who's  the  spy  in  your  family?"  abruptly 
asked  the  elder. 

"The  spy?" 

"Yes,  the  spy.  Every  well-regulated  Ger 
man  family  should  have  a  spy  in  it." 

"What  for?"  queried  Kirtley  in  surprise. 

"Why,  for  the  Kaiser,  of  course.  Who  else? 
The  Teutons  call  him  euphemistically  the 
Government.  But  without  Wilhelm  there 
wouldn't  be  any  German  Government." 

"Why  should  he  want  spies  in  his  own  Ger 
man  families?"  interrogated  Gard  innocently. 

"Didn't  every  medieval  feudal  lord  keep 
close  tab  on  his  subjects — the  people  he 
owned?  The  Kaiser  wants  to  know  of  any 
signs  of  disloyalty.  If  a  household  harbors 
any  foreigners,  as  your  family  is  doing,  he 
wants  to  know  what  they  are  up  to." 

"Do  you  mean  to  say  that  the  Government 
knows  about  me — that  I'm  being  watched?" 

"They  are  at  least  ready  to  watch  you. 
Mind  you,  Germany  is  a  real  block-house,  and 
the  elaborate  spy  system  is  an  integral  part 
of  it.  I  should  say,  from  what  you  tell  me  of 
the  Buchers,  that  young  Rudolph  is  the  sleuth 
here." 

"Rudolph?" 


SPIES  AND  WAR  73 

"Yes.  He's  doubtless  keeping  an  eye  on 
you  and  reporting  to  the  authorities  if  there's 
anything  suspicious  about  you  and  your 
actions." 

And  then  the  journalist,  pleased  to  have  a 
fresh  listener,  launched  upon  his  pet  idea. 

"The  Kaiser  is  preparing  an  abysmal  pit 
fall  for  the  world  and  it  won't  take  heed.  I 
tell  you,  Kirtley — and  I  want  you  to  mark 
my  words — Deutschland  is  going  to  spring  at 
Europe  like  a  tiger.  The  army  and  navy  are 
ready  for  the  onslaught.  When  they  spring, 
it  will  be  farewell  to  civilization — except  the 
German — unless  something  like  a  miracle  su 
pervenes.  The  French  army  is  being  moth- 
eaten  by  the  Socialists,  the  British  navy  has 
dry  rot.  I  look  to  see  Wilhelm  practically  the 
ruler  of  the  earth.  If  not,  he  will  cause  it  to 
pay  a  cost  that  will  make  the  next  fifty  years 
groggy." 

Kirtley  thought  this  was  jesting.  He  later 
learned  that  the  "old  man"  was  regarded  as 
"cracked"  on  this  topic.  Every  spring  he 
prophesied  war,  but  it  had  not  come.  The 
Kaiser  failed  to  rush  to  Paris  and  there  dictate 
terms  to  an  astounded  and  cowed  universe. 
People  politely  laughed  in  their  sleeves.  Yes, 


74  VILLA  ELSA 

Anderson  was  a  fine  fellow,  but  they  wearied 
of  his  dismal  forebodings  that  came  to  naught. 
Some  said  it  was  because  German  had  been 
hard  for  him  to  learn.  He  had  taken  it  up 
when  more  than  fifty  and  had  become  tangled 
in  its  snarling  roots — its  beer-drunken  syntax. 
"He  had  got  mad  at  the  language."  It  was 
natural  that  he  should  get  mad  at  the  people. 

Gard  saw  a  light. 

"Perhaps,"  he  said,  "that's  what  the 
Buchers  really  mean  about  the  German  army 
conquering  everybody  whenever  it  wants  to." 

"That's  it,  that's  it!"  Anderson  was  grati 
fied  by  the  confirmation.  He  went  on  with 
grave  seriousness. 

"I'm  a  journalist.  I  have  opportunities  to 
see  behind  the  curtain,  haven't  I?  I  have  been 
at  the  army  maneuvers,  at  the  officers'  messes 
and  dinners,  when  they  were  sober  and  when 
they  were  drunk.  Beer  loosened  their  tongues 
and  they  did  not  care.  They  talk  of  it,  boast 
of  it,  and  the  civilian,  too.  I'm  telling  no 
secrets.  They  are  very  frank  about  it.  Don't 
you  hear  the  Buchers  openly  discussing  it? 
They  all  give  us  warning  and  we  say  it's  a  fine 
day.  Did  you  ever  read  any  of  the  Kaiser's 
speeches  in  German?  There  you  find  it  all. 


SPIES  AND  WAR  75 

But  he's  crazy,  they  say.  Crazy  or  not,  he 
has  the  most  thoroughly  organized  and  power 
ful  nation  behind  him  that  the  globe  ever  saw. 
And  behind  him  to  a  man." 

"Why  don't  you  write  it  up,  then — tell 
people  over  home?"  Gard  ventured,  somewhat 
impressed. 

"Write  it  up?  Tell  people?  That's  what  I 
have  been  doing  for  five  years.  But  what's 
the  use  of  shouting  to  a  world  of  fools?  No 
one  will  pay  any  attention  to  it.  My  paper 
sends  my  stuff  back  and  says  it  don't  want  war 
talk — it  wants  peace  talk.  Americans  are 
happy  and  they  don't  want  to  be  disturbed. 
They  only  want  to  hear  about  what  they  want 
to  believe.  So  it  seems  to  be  everywhere." 

"I  guess  you  are  right  about  that,"  Gard 
testified.  "I  have  been  a  pretty  fair  reader  of 
our  papers  and  periodicals  and  have  never 
been  made  to  feel  there  was  any  need  for 
alarm." 

"Exactly,"  Anderson  scolded.  "Why,  look 
at  our  Exchange  professors.  They  are  com 
ing  over  here,  ready  to  swallow  the  Germans 
whole.  The  Kaiser  invites  them  to  lunch  on 
his  yacht,  gives  them  a  pat  on  the  shoulder 
blade,  and  they  are  his.  While  the  Germans 


76  VILLA  ELSA 

plainly  despise  us,  our  educators  go  home  cry 
ing  Great  is  Germany !  How  superior  are  her 
people!  Let  us  send  our  sons  over  there  to 
drink  of  her  wisdom  and  grandeur!  What 
inanity!  Bah!" 

"And  so  here  I  am,"  Gard  smiled.  "But  I 
have  bunted  into  you  almost  the  first  thing." 

"Couldn't  do  better— couldn't  do  better," 
repeated  Anderson  with  a  cheering  turn.  "I'll 
tell  you  what  to  do.  I'll  give  you  a  little  prac 
tical  advice — free." 

"It  won't  be  worth  much  if  it's  free, 
will  it?" 

"Well,  it's  worth  this  rotten  German  cigar 
you've  given  me.  Read  the  editorials  and  cor 
respondence  in  the  Dresden  papers.  They're 
a  good  sample.  There  you'll  see  what  the 
German  attitude  toward  us  is  officially,  and 
what  German  hatred  feeds  on  day  by  day. 
The  trouble  with  Americans  over  here  is  they 
don't  read  anything  serious.  Of  course  our 
students  study  their  text  books.  But  gener 
ally  our  people  just  fly  around,  hear  music, 
drink  beer  in  the  cafes,  but  they  don't  read. 
Too  nervous — afraid  of  being  bored.  So  they 
don't  learn  much." 

Anderson  ran  on  into  other  subjects. 


SPIES  AND  WAR  77 

"One  great  thing  about  the  German  system 
is  that  it  would  make  such  people  work  to 
some  purpose.  We  don't.  It  also  makes  its 
plodders  work.  This  Government  recognizes 
frankly  that  most  of  its  population,  like  all 
populations,  are  plodders,  and  it  gives  them 
something  regularly  to  do  and  sees  that  they 
do  it.  This  converts  this  dull  element  into  an 
organized  strength — a  source  of  power.  The 
Germans  practice  their  wonderful  economies 
with  respect  to  the  poorest  kind  of  human 
energy.  They  kick  something  into  their 
drones.  So  they  are  such  a  mighty  nation  in 
a  small  land. 

"In  America,  in  other  countries,  this  ele 
ment  is  rather  a  disorganized  weakness.  It  is 
not  pushed.  It  is  for  the  most  part  waste 
material  or  neglected  material.  Our  public 
system,  when  economies  are  concerned,  first 
considers  money,  property.  It  seems  some 
times  as  if  our  free  individualistic  plan  of 
government  were, 'after  all,  adapted  for  the 
minority  of  the  bright- witted." 


CHAPTER  XI 

GERMAN  WAYS 

AD  the  Buchers  ever  known  an  Ameri- 
can  before  you  came?"  Anderson  in 
terrupted  himself. 

"No." 

"How  do  you  think  they  like  you?" 

"I  guess  if  I  dropped  out  of  their  lives,  I 
would  not  create  much  of  a  splash." 

"You'll  find  they  hate  you.  Hate  is  the 
German  religion.  The  Germans  can  hate  peo 
ple  they've  never  known,  never  seen.  They 
hate  on  principle  and  without  principle.  Of 
course  it's  the  proper  precursor  for  their  pro 
gramme  of  conquering  the  world.  If  they 
were  trying  to  love  the  world,  they  could  not 
be  preparing  to  demolish  it  and  expecting  to." 

Though  Anderson  had  lived  so  long  among 
the  Teutons,  he  had  not  become  Teutonized. 
He  was  a  marked  exception.  He  viewed  the 

78 


GERMAN  WAYS  79 

nation  with  a  metallic  aplomb  that  at  times 
sent  shivers  down  Kirtley's  spine. 

"Now  this  family  of  yours,"  he  went  on  dis 
cursively — "don't  you  notice  about  them  and 
in  them  and  behind  them  something  tremen 
dously  unifying  and  propelling  that  is  lacking 
in  our  American  home?" 

"I  certainly  do,"  responded  Gard.  "I  can't 
make  it  out — their  dynamic,  conscientious  in 
dustry.  What  is  it  for?  It's  not  with  the 
idea  of  making  money — like  Americans,  eager 
to  accumulate  the  dollars.  It's  not  for  per 
sonal  fame.  It's  not  for  any  ambitious  social 
position.  It  does  not  seem  to  be  for  any  of 
the  reasons  that  inspire  an  American  house 
hold.  And  yet  it  is  here,  in  this  house,  in 
every  room,  behind  every  chair  at  table,  night 
and  morning.  It's  bigger  than  anything  we 
find  in  our  Yankee  life  because  it's  beyond  and 
higher  than  mere  individuality.  It  makes  the 
Buchers  satisfied  and  still  is  something  that 
has  fearfulness  lurking  about  it.  It's  not  re 
ligious  or  divine — they  are  not  actuated  by 
such  motives,  do  not  speak  of  them.  What  in 
the  world  is  it  that  the  Germans  have  that  is 
so  wonderful  and  we  do  not  seem  to  have?" 


80  VILLA  ELSA 

Kirtley  had  thought  a  great  deal  about  this 
and  talked  almost  fluently. 

"I'll  tell  you,"  and  the  old  correspondent, 
bent  forward  toward  him  earnestly,  glad  that 
he  had  a  young,  receptive  mind  opened  out 
toward  him.  "I'll  tell  you.  It's  simply  the 
Hohenzollern  in  his  mad  and  unconcealed 
pride  about  ruling  the  universe.  He  is  in 
every  German  home  like  this,  driving  each  in 
dividual  to  work  the  best,  to  make  the  most 
of  himself  and  of  herself,  and  without  loss  of 
time.  He  makes  them  understand  that  it's  for 
the  great  German  race — that  they  may  be 
come  the  potent  force  everywhere — leaders  of 
mankind  as  he  has  taught  them  they  deserve 
to  be.  It  is  for  the  benefit  of  their  more  and 
more  deserving  nation.  But  it  is  first  and 
foremost  for  himself  and  his  family.  He  has 
a  burning,  itching  desire  to  reign  everywhere. 
He  is  not  a  normal  man  physically  and  is  un 
balanced  by  a  monumental  vanity — arrogance 
— egotism. 

"When  your  Frau  is  so  busily  sewing,  she 
is  sewing  for  her  household,  it  is  true,  but  she 
is  consciously  and  unconsciously  sewing  for 
Wilhelm.  When  your  Fraulein  goes  out  to 
her  etching  lesson,  she  is  aware  of  being  of 


GERMAN  WAYS  81 

the  magnificent  German  people,  and  shares  a 
part  of  the  national  ambition  to  excel.  It's 
this  that  we  haven't  got  in  America  and  can't 
well  have  under  our  system.  But  it's  this 
unified,  disciplined  zeal  that  enables  two  or 
three  ordinary  Germans  to  do  what  it  takes 
four  ordinary  Yankees  to  do.  Clad  in  armor 
and  with  a  glistening  sword  in  hand,  Germania 
ought  to  scare  men,  and  they  are  not  taking 
the  warning. 

"But,  Kirtley,  it  scares  me.  I  feel — see — 
something  awful  coming.  In  the  universal 
German  hate,  the  national  boundary  stops  any 
flow  outward  of  sympathy,  good  faith,  equity. 
All  peoples  outside  are  human  insects  whom  it 
is  proper  for  the  Teuton  to  tread  on  if  he  can, 
crush  the  life  out  of,  because  they  are  in  his 
pathway  to  glory." 

Kirtley,  who  had  stared  at  his  new  friend 
in  this  solemnity,  turned  a  serious  face  toward 
the  clawlike  branches  of  his  linden  in  its 
gauntness  of  late  autumn-tide.  This  meaning 
of  the  animus  that  was  impelling  his  odd  and 
yet  so  normal  German  household,  he  began  to 
see,  was  substantiated  by  a  score  of  acts  and 
attitudes  in  its  daily  life.  He  scarcely  deemed 
it  proper  to  tell  of  them. 


82  VILLA  ELSA 

Besides,  he  did  not  want  to  fire  up  Ander 
son  who  already  was  so  unsettled,  so  comfort 
less,  on  the  subject.  But  Kirtley  was  reason 
ing  out  how  this  animus  gave  a  solidity,  a  soli 
darity,  to  the  German  household — a  satisfied 
contentment — because  it  was  working  toward 
a  definite  racial  goal.  Any  such  incentive  was 
almost  absent  in  the  American  family. 

"And  so,"  wound  up  Anderson  with  epi 
grams,  "the  years  will  be  left  humanity  to 
weep  these  days  of  insouciance  and  neglect. 
You  can  see  that  Germany  is  a  man-made 
nation.  It  is  not  the  kind  God  or  Nature 
would  make.  God  must  have  turned  His  face 
when  the  Teuton  species  was  manufactured. 
Germany  is  like  a  man-made  hot  air  register. 
When  it  isn't  throwing  up  hot  air,  it  is  throw 
ing  up  cold  air.  It  is  always  throwing  up." 

To  change  the  somewhat  painful  theme, 
Kirtley  soon  began: 

"I  don't  see  any  sports — such  as  we  know 
them — in  Germany.  How  do  they  get  along 
without  them?"  Like  all  Yankee  college  men 
he  was  alert  on  these  lines. 

"No  sports  in  Deutschland.  Go  out  on  the 
Dresden  golf  links  of  a  morning  and  you'll 
find  hardly  a  German  soul  playing.  It's  the 


GERMAN  WAYS  83 

same  in  Vienna — the  same  in  Berlin.  They 
have  links  because  it's  the  fashion  in  England. 
The  Germans  ape  everything.  Go  out  on  the 
highway  to  Berlin  or  Vienna  or  any  of  the 
great  roads  and  you  will  seldom  meet  any 
Germans  touring  in  their  motors  for  pleasure. 
Only  Americans — English.  The  Germans 
are  spoiling  little  time  by  such  matters.  They 
are  busy — busy  working  for  their  Empire — 
busy  like  moles  boring  away  to  undermine  the 
earth — busy  drilling  with  arms. 

"So  you  see  no  sporting  terms  incorporated 
in  their  daily  language,  in  their  newspaper 
language,  such  as  we  see  in  England  and 
America — terms  denoting  fair  play,  square 
deal,  manly  courtesy  toward  the  under  dog. 
Our  Anglo-Saxon  motto,  'Don't  hit  him  when 
he's  down,'  is  no  motto  with  the  Germans. 
They  think  that's  just  the  time  to  hit  him. 
Kick  him  when  he's  flattened  out.  Kick  him 
preferably  in  the  face.  That's  one  reason  so 
many  Teutons  have  scarred  faces.  The 
Anglo-Saxon  spirit  in  a  sporting  crowd  is  for 
the  little  fellow.  In  Germany,  it's  for  the  big 
fellow — the  fellow  who  already  has  everything 
on  his  side. 

"This  sort  of  thing,  of  course,  kills  the  true 


84  VILLA  ELSA 

idea  and  fun  of  sport.  Take  away  its  knight- 
liness  of  bearing,  spirit  of  self-sacrifice,  exhi 
bition  of  pluck  though  defeat  is  certain,  and 
what  have  you  left  to  sport  about?  It  merely 
becomes  a  question  of  brute  force — over 
whelming  force.  You  have  cruelty  left  as  a 
net  result.  And  that's  a  large  part  of  Ger 
man  conduct — cruelty  to  underlings  or  to 
those  who  are  feebler  or  caught  at  an  unfair 
disadvantage.  Having  no  leaven  of  sports  is 
one  thing  that  makes  the  German  life  seem 
so  heavy,  ominous,  brutal,  to  us." 

"Its  growling  rigidity,  with  all  this,"  An 
derson  continued  gravely,  "is  due  to  the  fact 
that  the  old  men  are  mainly  in  the  saddle  in 
Germany — men  sixty  and  seventy.  The 
existence  and  influence  of  young  men  are  not 
as  much  in  command  as  with  us.  These  old 
Germans  have  disgruntled  stomachs  from  so 
much  drinking,  and  they  roar  about.  Physical 
sports  mean  nothing  to  them.  And  so  it  seems 
sometimes  as  if  the  Germans  are  born  old, 
not  young.  Their  children  are  old.  This 
helps  make  them  such  a  serious  race — the  most 
serious.  And  yet  people  insist  on  believing 
that  this  serious  race  means  nothing  but  fun 


GERMAN  WAYS  85 

by  all  its  military  preparations.    Where's  the 
logic?"  .  .  . 

.When  the  journalist  went,  Kirtley  let  him 
through  the  wall  gate  with  its  weighted  rope. 
The  gate  flew  back  in  place  with  a  loud  report 
as  if  to  give  emphasis  to  the  old  man's  direful 
interpretations  and  prophecies. 


CHAPTER  XII 

HABITS  AND  CHILDREN 

IN  spite  of  Anderson,  Gard  could  not  make 
up  his  mind  that  Rudolph  was  anything 
more  than  a  young  braggadocio.  The  idea  of 
an  ordinary  family  living  comfortably  along 
with  a  spy  in  its  midst,  ready  to  inform  on 
them  and  their  guests,  was  so  foreign  to  his 
notions,  so  caddish,  that  it  weakened  his  con 
fidence  in  his  compatriot's  judgment.  While 
Gard  felt  that  Rudi  was  not  "straight,"  he 
could  not  consider  him  downright  harmful. 
However,  under  the  spur  of  the  valuable  sig 
nificance  that  Anderson  attached  to  this  typi 
cal  household  life,  Kirtley  felt  it  profitable  to 
observe  closely  its  manifestations  and  opin 
ions.  They  were  verified  in  other  German 
families  where  Gard  often  went  with  the 
Buchers.  What  could  be  more  truly  educa 
tional? 


HABITS  AND  CHILDREN  87 

In  defiance  of  the  famous  Teuton  disci 
pline,  a  certain  disorderliness  ran  through  the 
management  of  Villa  Elsa.  This  surprised 
him.  The  eruptive  way  meals  were  served, 
the  jumbled-up  spectacle  of  the  dining  table, 
beds  made  up  at  any  time  of  day,  knitting 
and  sewing  going  on  in  many  rooms — all  this 
was  in  unforseen  contrast  to  the  rigorous  mili 
tary  and  educational  training  and  precision. 
He  could  but  compare  the  genre  picture  of 
looseness  in  the  homes  with  that  of  the  correct 
and  fine  army. 

The  inadequate,  almost  primitive,  bathing 
facilities  in  Villa  Elsa  corresponded  to  the  un 
secured  condition  of  its  occupants.  The  un 
sightly  hairiness  of  German  skins  seemed  to 
answer  for  much  washing.  There  was  little 
thought  of  soap  and  hot  water  as  a  law  of 
health,  a  delight,  a  luxury.  Kirtley  had  as 
sumed  that  soiled  bodies  did  not  betoken  the 
loftiest  state  of  man.  But  the  bath  was  looked 
upon  here  as  a  disagreeable  performance  and 
accordingly  was  only  indulged  in  at  in 
frequent  intervals.  It  was  discussed  freely  at 
table  as  a  forthcoming,  dreaded  event.  Card 
bathed  in  town.  As  for  fresh  underwear  and 


88  VILLA  ELSA 

hose,  they  were  talked  of  over  soup  like  some 
new  and  rare  dispensation  of  Providence. 

Fraulein  alone  had  a  toothbrush  and  pow 
der,  and  they  appeared  rather  conspicuously 
here  and  there  as  if  they  were  modern  orna 
ments  of  which  the  household  was  visibly 
proud.  Bad  breaths  coming  from  decayed 
teeth  and  from  stomachs  sour  with  drink  were 
freely  blown  about  and  without  apologies.  In 
deed,  apologies  about  anything  were  small 
features  at  all  times. 

There  was  no  particular  provision  for  the 
maid.  Gard  scarcely  knew  where  or  how  she 
slept.  Tekla  dressed  with  unconcern  in  the 
kitchen  and  in  the  hall.  Servant  girls  were 
rather  considered  like  calves  and  therefore  en 
titled  to  scant  human  consideration.  The 
odors,  the  unsightly  colors,  the  clatter  of  the 
German  home,  gave  further  evidence  of  the 
absence  of  sensitiveness,  of  any  fine  and  bal 
anced  poise  of  nerves. 

This  repulsiveness  of  existence,  of  course, 
did  not  affect  the  audible  consciousness  of  the 
family  about  their  representing  the  most  pro 
gressive  state  of  civilized  man.  And  not  to  be 
forgotten  was  the  German  ill-temperedness, 
which  was  pronounced  in  the  morning,  and  did 


HABITS  AND  CHILDREN  89 

not  wear  off  considerably  until  stomachs  were 
filled  during  the  day.  All  these  facts  testified 
that  the  Teuton  little  cultivates  loveliness  in 
human  contact.  Beauty  of  living  is  not,  with 
him,  a  natural  end  to  attain. 

After  awhile  it  came  over  Kirtley  that  the 
Buchers  showed  no  interest  in  his  antecedents 
or  in  his  country.  Their  apparent  ignorance 
of  America  was  rivaled  by  their  indifference 
about  it.  They  evidently  were  of  the  firm  con 
clusion  that  there  was  nothing  worth  while 
there  to  learn,  nothing  worthy  of  attention.  It 
was,  to  them,  an  unprofitable  jumble  of  peo 
ples  and  things  in  a  rudimentary,  unvarnished 
state  of  development.  It  was  Patagonia  try 
ing  to  copy  the  ways  of  Europe.  This  was  but 
a  feature  of  the  Teuton  tribal  belief  that  all 
the  racial  evolutions  outside  the  German  bor 
ders  were  undesirable,  demoralizing  and  mis 
chievously  blocking  the  outspread  of  Kultur. 

Gard  could  not  but  know  of  the  limited  in 
come  on  which  existence  went  on  at  Villa  Elsa. 
It  was  characteristic.  Though  limited,  the  in 
come  was  secure.  Despite  the  economies  prac 
ticed,  the  prevailing  confidence  and  self-satis 
faction  did  not  suffer,  as  a  result,  the  slightest 
impairment.  It  was  significantly  German. 


90  VILLA  ELSA 

Gard  said  to  himself: 

"There  are  here  none  of  the  spectacular  ups 
and  downs,  everlasting  sudden  changes  and 
movings  to  and  fro,  riches  one  year,  poverty 
the  next,  the  unsettledness  and  acute  money 
misfortunes,  that  make  up  so  large  a  share  of 
our  feverish,  restless,  uncertain  Yankee  ca 
reers.  There  does  not  seem  to  be  a  synonym 
for  'hard  up'  in  German.  As  for  us  Amer 
icans  the  habitual  changes  of  location  of  the 
household,  the  separation  of  the  parents  for 
reasons  of  business,  travel,  or  inharmonious 
temperaments,  the  resultant  ever-growing 
crop  of  divorces,  the  frequent  living  apart  of 
the  children,  both  from  fathers  and  mothers 
and  from  the  home,  the  loose  family  ties  and 
ignoring  of  kin  who  are  not  of  the  most  imme 
diate  relationship — how  far  is  all  this  from  the 
steady,  compact,  solid,  unanxious  and  un- 
threatened  examples  of  Villa  Elsa  and  Ger 
man  households  in  general!" 

The  Teutons  had  a  paternal  Government 
which  they  knew  would  not  let  them  come  to 
want.  Their  firesides  could  thrive  and  accom 
plish  greatly  on  so  small  a  basis  because  this 
was  stationary  and  unfailing.  The  American 
needed  so  much  more  because,  with  him,  all 


HABITS  AND  CHILDREN  91 

was  relatively  unsafe.  While  he  hesitated 
about  rearing  a  large  family  for  this  reason 
among  others,  the  German  had  no  such 
thought  of  dodging  the  future,  for  he  knew  his 
children  would  be  taken  care  of. 

In  fact,  he  raised  his  progeny  conspicuously 
for  the  State.  Parental  feeling  was  second 
ary  to  the  Kaiser's  wishes.  The  Bucher  chil 
dren,  like  usual  German  children,  were  in 
effect  dedicated  to  the  Government,  conse 
crated  to  its  uses.  It  could  come  in  and  did 
come  in  and  take  this  boy  or  girl  for  that  and 
that  one  for  this.  It  had  designated  Rudi  for 
hydraulic  engineering  and  indicated  his  uni 
versity  course  to  that  end.  Ernst  was  selected 
for  philosophy.  The  parents  were  not  only 
willing  but  proud  of  this.  It  was  not  for  them 
to  resent  such  outside  interference  because  of 
any  personal  likes  of  their  own. 

Gard  wrote  Rebner: 

"In  America,  the  child's  future  is  somewhat 
a  matter  of  buffeting  back  and  forth  aimlessly 
between  teacher  and  parent.  The  latter  is  dis 
posed  to  shirk  the  responsibility  by  leaning  on 
the  shoulders  of  the  instructor  who  is  inclined 
to  keep  shifting  the  burden  back  to  the  home. 
As  a  result,  while  the  German  youngster  is 


92  VILLA  ELSA 

early  being  adapted  to  a  particular  future 
course  for  which  Nature  has  given  him  an 
aptitude,  his  American  competitor  is  often  left 
to  drift  through  the  years  without  definite  am 
bition,  or  at  least  with  only  a  belated  or  partly 
drilled  preparation  therefor." 

In  Germany,  Kirtley  observed,  the  Govern 
ment  stood  as  the  real  father.  The  actual 
father  was  its  representative.  The  mother 
played  a  subsidiary  role.  All  was  the  father 
idea.  The  Germans  call  it  Fatherland,  not 
Motherland,  as  the  English  affectionately 
term  their  own  country. 

This  interposition  of  the  State  in  the  Teu 
ton  family  weakens  the  links  of  personal  ten 
derness.  The  State  rather  than  Love  rules 
the  home.  Hence  resulted  the  unfeelingness 
that  Kirtley  observed  in  the  life  about  him  in 
Loschwitz — the  roughness  so  little  tempered 
with  affection,  but,  instead,  frankly  inter 
preted  and  exhibited  as  the  true  bearing  of  the 
dominant  male's  masculine  nobility. 

Quite  normally,  then,  came  about  the  exten 
sive  amount  of  open  and  violent  quarreling 
which  Gard  noticed  in  the  households.  In 
Villa  Elsa  the  Herr  quarreled  with  the  Frau, 
each  quarreled  with  the  children,  they  quarreled 


HABITS  AND  CHILDREN  93 

with  Tekla,  and  she  took  it  out  on  the  dogs. 
It  was  not  disputing  among  self-respecting 
equals,  but  ill-humored  domineering  over 
those  who  were  confessedly  underneath. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

DOWN  WITH  AMERICA! 

THE  German  text  books  that  came  in 
Card's  way  proved  the  national  craze 
for  what  was  Deutsch,  edit  Deutsch,  to  the 
exclusion  of  what  was  not.  It  was  almost  a 
ferocity  of  inbreeding  instruction.  It  created 
the  furor  Teutonicus.  The  Hohenzollerns 
used  education  as  a  prod  to  madden  the  Ger 
mans.  It  kept  stirred  up,  with  increasing 
exaggeration  and  rage,  the  racial  rabidness  on 
the  subject  of  other  nations. 

Kirtley  still  did  not  believe  that  this  reached 
to  America  and  Americans,  for  which  topics, 
as  already  indicated,  the  Buchers  had  shown 
small  curiosity  in  their  intercourse  with  him, 
seldom  mentioning  the  names.  But  his  eyes 
were  abruptly  opened  wide  with  astonishment 
and  concealed  indignation  one  evening  at 
dinner. 

It  was  a  habit  for  the  family,  when  nothing 

94 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  95 

was  pressing,  to  remain  at  table  discussing 
this  and  that,  nearly  always  providing  the 
theme  was  German.  He  encouraged  this  be 
cause  he  could  learn  from  the  well-stocked  in 
formation  which  the  members  possessed  about 
Germany  and  the  Germans,  and  for  the  fur 
ther  reason  of  conversational  opportunities. 

It  may  be  best  to  try  to  reproduce  the  scene 
in  outline  as  it  occurred.  The  talk  had  fallen 
upon  governments,  nations,  peoples — a  gen 
eral  field  of  inquiry  for  which  Kirtley  had  had 
some  predilection  at  college.  The  vast  supe 
riority  of  the  German  Government  had  been 
again,  as  often  before,  so  emphasized  in  Villa 
Elsa  that  he  felt  now  that  he  ought  to  raise  a 
question.  Should  this  overweening  assump 
tion  always  pass  unnoticed,  unqualified? 

It  was  partly  because  the  foreigner  avoided 
disputing  with  the  Germans,  who  made  dis 
cussion  unpleasant  by  their  acrid,  dictatorial 
manners  and  drowning  diapasons,  that  their 
arrogance  had  so  rapidly  grown  out  of  bounds. 
They  do  not  recognize  courtesies  in  debate, 
fly  off  the  handle,  burst  in  with  interruptions 
on  the  half-finished  statements  and  sentences 
of  others. 

Besides,  Kirtley  had  not  yet  fully  learned 


96  VILLA  ELSA 

that  they  have  not  the  same  understanding  of 
things,  not  the  same  definitions  for  the  same 
words.  For  instance,  the  Buchers  insisted  that 
the  Germans  had  the  most  freedom  of  any 
nation.  But  their  freedom  meant  something 
like  the  liberty  allowed  in  a  prison  yard.  Free 
press?  Yes,  it  was  to  be  found  in  Deutsch- 
land  in  its  highest  state,  since  it  was  always 
authoritative.  And  there  authority  meant 
liberty  of  opinion.  Again,  thought  was  the 
most  free  and  liberal  there,  because,  as  it 
seemed,  the  German  was  free  to  think  just  as 
the  Kaiser  thought.  Equity?  Equity  was 
only  what  the  Teutons  wanted,  and  therefore 
of  the  most  desirable  type.  And  so  on. 

Such  differences  were  usually  antipodal — 
diametrically  opposed.  The  reason,  Gard 
worked  out,  was  that  in  America  and  other 
democratic  lands  the  significance  of  such  words 
sprang  from  the  common  people  upward.  In 
Germany  such  interpretations  proceeded  essen 
tially  from  the  reigning  family  downward. 
Discussions  under  such  circumstances,  instead 
of  leading  toward  mutual  understanding, 
breed  acrimony.  There  is  little  room  for  shad- 
ings,  amicable  approachments,  progress  in  the 
direction  of  reciprocal  enlightenment. 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  97 

It  was  a  nest  of  blustering,  pugnacious 
hornets  which  Kirtley  poked  up  on  the  even 
ing  in  question,  by  asking: 

"How  do  you  prove  that  the  German  Gov 
ernment  is  the  best?'' 

The  Herr,  taking  his  knife  from  his  mouth 
— the  Teuton  eats  conspicuously  with  his  knife 
— suddenly  showed  that  he  had  evidently,  in 
the  presence  of  his  American  guest,  long  held 
himself  in  on  this  subject  with  ill-feelings  that 
clamored  to  be  let  loose. 

"Prove  it?  Prove  it?"  he  hoarsely  ex 
claimed.  "It  needs  no  proof.  Everybody 
knows  it.  Could  we  have  the  greatest  people 
without  the  best  Government?  Could  we  have 
the  best  education  without  the  best  Govern 
ment?  Why  does  everybody  come  to  Ger 
many  to  study?  Why  did  you  come?  It's 
because  these  things  are  true.  Did  you  ever 
hear  of  young  Germans  going  elsewhere  to 
universities?  They  do  not  need  to.  We  have 
the  best." 

The  family  were  up  in  arms.  Their  Gov 
ernment  had  been  questioned.  Each  member, 
with  the  exception  of  Fraulein,  who  was  "at 
class,"  was  bursting  to  talk  about  America. 
It  had  no  army.  Therefore  it  amounted  *o 


98  VILLA  ELSA 

little.  It  had  no  higher  education  worthy  of 
the  name.  It  had  only  one  institution  that 
could  claim  to  be  called  a  university.  It  had 
no  aristocracy.  It  was  a  country  of  low,  law 
less  classes.  These  and  similar  sentences  flew 
back  at  Kirtley,  whose  face  reddened.  The 
mask  was  being  at  last  hurled  off.  What  self- 
control,  indeed,  had  the  family  before  main 
tained,  when  they  were  so  armed  with  dis 
pleasure  concerning  the  United  States!  He 
would  not  have  credited  it.  It  was  at  least 
illuminating,  if  blinding.  For  what  could  be 
the  excuse,  provocation?  Nothing  that  he  had 
ever  heard  of.  The  two  peoples  had  been  so 
separate  and  distinct.  The  words  of  Ander 
son  rushed  into  his  mind.  "The  Germans  can 
hate  people  they've  never  known,  never  seen. 
They  hate  on  principle  and  without  principle." 
Knives  and  forks  figured  in  the  air,  beer 
mugs  were  grabbed  and  banged  down,  nap 
kins  took  refuge  under  the  table  as  if  in  fright, 
to  be  indiscriminately  dirtied  under  foot.  The 
gulped  down  food,  meeting  the  oncoming 
throaty  expressions  of  irritability,  created 
much  alimentary  confusion.  Gard  almost 
trembled.  Here  he  had  been  for  weeks  dwell 
ing  in  a  friendly  society,  in  an  intimate  rela- 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  99 

tionship,  without  any  realization  of  what  ugly 
thoughts  were  secretly  leveled  at  him  in  the 
form  of  a  political  unit.  As  an  individual,  he 
had  been  most  welcome.  As  a  citizen  of  the 
United  States  he  was  despised.  The  Herr 
vociferated: 

"What  is  your  country,  tell  me,  what  is  your 
country?  It  is  nichts,  nichts.  It  is  not  a  coun 
try.  It  is  a  ragout,  a  potpourri,  a  mess.  We 
do  not  recognize  such  a  country.  It  has  no 
beginnings,  no  tradition,  no  unity  of  blood,  no 

ideals "  He  choked  and  the  Frau  flared 

forth  while  attempting  to  crack  a  nut  between 
her  teeth. 

"The  American  people  are  the  off-scourings 
of  Europe.  They  were  criminals,  atheists,  dis 
eased  people,  failures,  who  were  sent  away 
from  Europe.  So  they  go  and  try  to  found  a 
new  race,  a  new  nation.  They  try,  but  they 
fail  of  course  ..." 

When  his  mother  got  out  of  breath,  little 
Ernst  began  with  a  milder,  more  judicial  air, 
though  he  seemed  partly  to  have  memorized 
official  declarations. 

"Don't  you  think,  Herr  Kirtley,  it  stands  to 
reason  that  our  reigning  family,  which  is  ad 
mitted  to  be  honest  and  has  practiced  ruling 


100  VILLA  ELSA 

for  centuries,  knows  better  how  to  govern  a 
race  than  the  always  new  and  untried  persons 
who  keep  taking  the  reins  of  government  in 
a  democracy?  The  Americans  can  never  tell 
far  ahead  who  is  to  rule.  There  are  changes 
all  the  time.  How  can  the  citizen  prepare 
confidently  for  the  future?  How  can  he  plan 
long  ahead  as  we  do?  I  have  always  read  that 
this  is  the  reason  things  are  so  steady  and 
stable  in  Germany  and  so  uncertain  and  wab 
bling  in  America.  This  uncertainty  hanging 
over  a  republic  unsettles  its  population.  You 
have  panics,  lynchings,  graft.  We  are  free  of 
such  scourges.  Our  Government  is  always 
the  same  unit  and  to  be  relied  on.  If  new 
policies  are  begun,  it  is  there  to  carry  them 
through  to  their  logical  end,  even  if  it  takes 
a  generation  or  longer.  You  have  always  new 
statesmen  with  new  ideas.  We  no  sooner  learn 
to  know  of  one  of  your  politicians  than  he  is 
dropped  and  we  must  read  about  another  in 
control.  How  does  that  make  for  any  well- 
considered  and  thoroughly  demonstrated 
plans?  Would  it  not  be  the  natural  result 
that  the  German  people  are  completely  con 
tented  and  the  American  people  are  always 
discontented?" 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  101 

Rudolph's  excited  pronouncements  ran 
along  a  different  line,  interchanged  with 
voluminous  whiffs  of  tobacco. 

"Under  our  Government,  Herr  Kirtley,  the 
German  flag  is  seen  in  all  parts  of  the  globe. 
And  wherever  it  is  seen,  it  is  respected,  feared. 
Who  ever  sees  the  American  flag?  Even  I 
don't  know  what  it  looks  like.  It  is  not  feared. 
It  is  only  noticed  out  of  voluntary  courtesy. 
And  a  nation  can't  be  really  great  without  an 
army  like  ours.  The  army  is  the  spine  of  the 
country.  It  makes  a  country  a  vertebrate. 
What  would  even  Germany  be  without  its 
army?  Almost  nothing.  The  army  consoli 
dates,  trains,  disciplines.  It  gives  us  health, 
good  constitutions,  industrious  habits,  exact 
ness.  It  makes  a  nation  superior  because  it 
fortifies  human  effort.  In  the  constant  chang 
ing  of  our  regiments  about  to  different  sec 
tions  of  the  Empire,  our  soldiers  come  to  be 
well  acquainted  everywhere.  They  make 
friends  and  are  at  home  in  every  direction. 
They  learn  to  realize  how  great  we  are  and  this 
strengthens  the  German  feeling  and  makes  all 
parts  of  the  nation  one. 

"Of  course  we  have  the  only  first-class 
army.  All  our  General  Staff  has  to  do  any 


103  VILLA  ELSA 

day  is  to  say  the  word  and,  as  I  have  so  often 
said,  our  army  can  go  out  and  defeat  the 
world.  Our  navy  will  soon  be  in  a  position  to 
destroy  England's.  We  are  getting  her  trade 
routes,  her  mail  routes.  Our  goods  are  now 
selling  everywhere.  It  is  not  only  because 
they  are  the  best  and  the  cheapest,  but  because 
our  army  and  our  navy  stand  behind  them  to 
make  people  know  what  is  best  for  them. 
Every  little  German  box  of  goods  has  a  big 
gun  behind  it.  Of  course  we  don't  need  to 
use  the  gun — yet — because  people  are  crying 
for  our  manufactures  all  over  the  world.  If 
we  had  occupied  your  big  and  half-developed 
country  in  your  place,  we  would  have  long  ago 
been  the  only  great  State.  There  would  have 
been  no  others.  We  would  have  annihilated 
them  if  they  were  not  willing  to  become  Ger 
man  provinces." 

Rudi  took  a  long  pull  at  his  cigarette,  with 
his  elbows  outspread  like  the  haughty  wings 
of  the  Prussian  eagles  of  war.  Emitting  a  long 
streamer  of  smoke,  he  summed  up  the  whole 
thing  in  a  nutshell  with  a  derisory — Pouf ! 

Kirtley  was  inwardly  fired  up  with  resent 
ment.  Then  he  had  to  smother  a  laugh.  This 
exhibition  of  the  family  taken  off  its  guard 
was  more  instructive  than  volumes  of  discus- 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  103 

sion  he  might  read  about  the  true  German 
attitude  toward  America — toward  everyone. 
Were  these  but  Goths  with  the  German  skins 
scratched  off  a  little?  He  kept  thinking  of 
Anderson — how  it  furnished  the  pure  evidence 
of  what  the  latter  was  despairing  of  before 
deaf  ears!  Card's  respect,  his  sympathy,  for 
the  old  man,  jumped  up  with  patriotic  fervor. 

He  marveled  at  first  how  the  good  Buchers 
had  been  primed  with  this  knowledge,  these 
comparisons.  Then  he  realized  that  the  edi 
torials  and  other  articles  in  the  Dresden  jour 
nals,  whose  lengthy,  heavy,  pounding  sen 
tences  confused  with  an  obtuse,  inverted  syn 
tax  he  was  reading  at  Anderson's  suggestion, 
accounted  for  these  venomous  conceptions  and 
prejudices. 

"So  it  is  our  duty  to  hate,"  broke  in  the 
Herr  once  more,  with  croaks  and  grunts  now 
behind  his  long  porcelain  pipe  which  roved 
down  over  his  stomach,  a  green  tassel  dangling 
at  the  end.  "We  give  our  children  beatings  to 
educate  them,  don't  we?  So  we  have  the  best 
education.  We  must  give  the  world  a  beating 
to  improve  it." 

The  Frau  all  the  while  could  hardly  restrain 
herself. 

"You   know   what   we    in    Germany   call 


104  VILLA  ELSA 

Americans?  We  call  them  pigs — yes,  pigs. 
America  is  like  a  big  pig  pen  where  everybody 
is  wallowing  over  everybody  for  money — just 
for  money." 

"And  Germany,"  added  her  elder  son,  "is 
just  waiting  till  the  United  States  gets  money 
enough,  then  we  go  in  with  our  navy  and  our 
army  and  take  it  all." 

Card  wanted  to  see  how  far  they  would  go, 
and  he  had  seen.  Was  this  the  old  barbarian 
of  the  north  risen  to  earth  again,  his  rude  gar 
ments  of  hide  torn  off,  exposing  him  in  his 
pristine,  fighting  nakedness?  Where  was  the 
German  under  it  all — the  German  who  was 
taken  to  be  civilized  in  heart  and  spirit  as 
other  men  are?  These  law-abiding,  stay-at- 
home  people  had  deliberately  grown  in  Villa 
Elsa  this  robust  plant  of  contempt,  so  full- 
blossomed  now  and  ready  to  exhale  its  noisome 
fumes  which  at  moments  almost  stifled  Kirtley 
with  their  poison.  What  would  Rebner  say 
to  this  with  his  golden,  soul-felt  opinions  of 
the  excelling  race! 

This  hospitable  and  apparently  harmless 
domicile  was,  in  reality,  like  a  martial  encamp 
ment.  Gard  could  not  but  conclude  that  he 
would  have  to  leave  Loschwitz.  How  could  he 


DOWN  WITH  AMERICA  !  105 

for  a  moment  stay  in  face  of  these  direct  and 
hard-fisted  attacks?  And  certainly  Villa  Elsa 
would  not  want  to  harbor  a  hog  any  longer. 
The  similar  households  he  had  come  to  know, 
all  such  households,  unquestionably  bore  the 
same  furious  grudges  against  the  western 
hemisphere. 

But  Elsa?  How  could  he  leave  her — like 
this?  She  was  the  first  girl  to  excite  seriously 
his  affections.  She  seemed  to  strike  the  note 
of  whatever  was  truly  earnest  in  him.  Yet 
did  she,  too,  think  Americans  were  pigs?  Did 
she  consider  him  of  such  an  inferior  breed? 
Perhaps,  in  her  misled  innocence,  she  did.  Per 
haps  that  was  the  reason  why  she  acted  toward 
him  in  an  upsetting  fashion  which  only  the 
more  tempted  a  certain  tenacious  element  in 
his  make-up. 


CHAPTER  XIV 

AFTERMATH 

THIS  astonishing  outbreak  in  Villa  Elsa 
was  followed  by  something  still  more 
singular  to  Kirtley,  or  at  least  out  of  his  reck 
oning.  It  was  to  stir  the  depths  of  his  con 
templations  and  comparisons  and  give  him  the 
sharpest  look  into  German  character  he  had 
yet  received.  It  was  to  show  him  that  a  gaping 
abyss  might  be  separating  the  Teuton  from 
other  western  humanity.  Having  latterly 
doubted  that  the  race  was  easy  of  sympathetic 
grasp,  any  true  kinship,  he  now  profoundly 
realized  that  instead  of  being  able  to  approach 
it  nearer  in  feeling  the  more  he  knew  it,  he 
was  encountering  very  high  cliffs  that  threat 
ened  forever  to  mark  an  inaccessible  boundary 
line. 

He  had  taken  it  for  granted  that  the  anti- 
American  outburst  would  end  the  Buchers'  re 
lations  with  him.  He  must  have  turned  out  to 

106 


AFTERMATH  107 

be  very  unwelcome.  The  very  sight  of  him 
as  one  of  the  American  pigs  about  the  house 
must  have  been  most  unsatisfactory,  distaste 
ful.  They  could  not  from  now  on  visibly  wish 
him  or  any  Yankee  in  their  home.  Their  per 
sonal  dignity  could  not  permit  their  assault 
to  be  backed  up  afterward  by  any  equivocal 
conduct  toward  him. 

Then,  too,  they  would  expect  that  he  would 
not  want  to  remain.  Had  they  not  voluntarily, 
deliberately,  hurled  at  him  their  defiant  scorn 
of  his  people?  Self-respect  would  demand  his 
immediate  departure. 

As  for  himself,  Gard  passed  a  sleepless 
night  thinking  hotly  about  the  episode. 
Toward  morning  he  cooled  off.  These  were 
boors.  Why  should  he  take  to  heart  their 
boorishness?  Richness  was  here  indeed.  Just 
the  place  to  keep  finding  out  the  real  German. 
Having  let  the  bars  down  with  such  a  bang  and 
hullabaloo,  the  family  would  from  now  on 
readily  and  fully  reveal  themselves.  It  is  a 
poor  investigator  and  observer  who  is  easily 
shied  away  from  his  purpose  by  taunts  and  ill- 
breeding. 

But  the  miracle  was  that  the  Buchers  went 
on  exactly  as  before.  They  obviously  saw  no 


108  VILLA  ELSA 

reasons  for  altering  their  friendly  daily  inter 
course,  nor  did  they  have  any  idea  that  he 
should  harbor  a  grievance.  Beginning  with 
the  next  morning,  their  usual  amicable  bear 
ing  and  attentions  continued  uninterrupted. 
The  family  was  not  conscious  of  having  tried 
to  give  mortal  offense  or  to  cause  resentment 
from  him. 

For,  to  a  German,  blows  in  all  senses  are  a 
normal  part  of  living.  His  social  habits  in 
dulge  themselves  in  knocks,  coarse  attacks, 
unseemly  abuse,  as  rather  matters  of  course. 
He  wields  a  bludgeon  where  more  refined  men 
would  cut  down  with  sarcasm  or  wither  one 
with  disdain.  Blows  are  his  natural  method 
of  instructing  others  and  of  getting  himself 
instructed.  "Good  German  blows"  are  what 
the  Kaiser  talked  of  loudly.  To  strike  as  well 
as  to  kick  is  a  wholesome,  healthful,  righteous 
procedure,  not  to  be  grieved  over,  not  to  be 
kept  rankling  in  the  bosom.  It  is  truth  and 
fact  in  action,  and  action  should  always  be 
forceful  and  decisive  to  be  effective.  The 
whipping  of  a  school  boy  for  any  just  cause 
should  not  be  remembered  by  him  throughout 
life  as  something  to  be  allowed  to  fester  or  as 
calling  for  angry  vengeance. 


AFTERMATH  109 

So  Card's  hosts  pursued  the  tenor  of  their 
ways  as  if  that  detonating  night  had  witnessed 
nothing.  Their  insensitiveness  about  it  in 
cluded  insensitiveness  about  him.  In  other 
words,  he  discovered  that  as  you  cannot  insult 
a  German,  therefore  he  cannot  insult  you.  He 
does  not  know  about  such  things  in  the  Anglo- 
Saxon  meaning.  His  conception  of  social  and 
moral  values  is  so  obtusely  or  radically  differ 
ent  from  those  of  the  truly  occidental  civiliza 
tions  that  there  is  little  common  ground  here. 
Consequently,  in  such  relations,  the  Teuton 
does  not  feel  anything  to  be  sorry  for.  There 
is  nothing  for  him  to  worry  about  in  any  shame 
the  next  day. 

Kirtley  learned  gradually,  through  his  deal 
ings  with  tradesmen  and  in  hearing  business 
men  talk  in  the  cafes,  that  this  underbred  at 
titude  extended  into  the  German  secular 
world.  A  German  may  cheat  you,  lie  to  you, 
take  a  grossly  unfair  advantage  of  your  good 
faith,  but  he  will  not  expect  that  this  is  going 
to  interfere  with  a  continuance  of  your  busi 
ness  relations.  It  is  only  a  part  of  the  hard 
game  of  gain.  If  you  indignantly  enumerate 
to  him  the  facts  of  your  unpleasant  discovery, 
he  sees  little  about  which  to  bear  a  grudge.  He 


110  VILLA  ELSA 

is  not  humiliated.  He  merely  and  unfortu 
nately  did  not  succeed,  or  succeeded  while  un 
luckily  you  found  him  out. 

Likewise  if  one  lies  to  him,  cheats  him  or 
otherwise  mistreats  him  in  a  transaction,  he 
does  not  permanently  lay  it  up  against  the 
evil-doer.  For  he  knows  he  would  have  done 
the  same  thing  under  similar  circumstances. 
He  is  prepared  to  go  on  next  week  with  the 
usual  dealings.  Of  course  he  will  complain 
with  prompt  vigor,  and  rage  in  his  favorite 
fashion,  but  it  is  only  because  of  his  material 
loss  or  discomfort,  not  because  of  broken 
standards  of  trusted  faith  lying  dishonored  in 
the  dust. 

All  this  alien  side  of  German  character  thus 
came  to  be  lain  before  Gard  like  a  scroll  un 
rolled.  He  read  its  lines  with  eyes  blinking 
in  wonderment.  And  this  was  the  people  who 
were  to  lead  the  earth. 

The  only  part  of  it  he  felt  the  Buchers  did 
not  comprehend  and  were  disappointed  about, 
was  that  he  did  not  candidly  acknowledge  the 
porcine  truth  of  all  they  had  shouted  at  him. 
He  was  of  a  heterogeneous  conglomeration 
called  Yankees.  He  should  admit  it.  He  was 
stupid  not  to.  For  him  not  to  join  in  the 


AFTERMATH  111 

Bucher  chorus  of  Germany's  greatness  was  a 
poor  return  for  all  they  were  doing  for  his  ease 
and  profit.  But  he  was  an  American  and  of 
course  the  Americans — 

It  must  be  quickly  acknowledged,  it  is  true, 
that  Kirtley's  experiences  and  observations 
along  these  channels  did  not  necessarily  show 
that  the  Teuton  is  less  honest  than  others.  Let 
it  be  granted  that  he  is  fully  as  upright  as 
anyone  in  the  sum  total  of  his  commercial 
transactions.  The  point  Card  uncovered  was 
that  here  were  full-fledged  race  traits  and 
habitudes  which  stood  counter  to  Christian 
ideals,  were  pagan  in  type,  were  due  to  a  lower 
stratum  of  moral  and  social  perceptions. 

The  explosion  in  Villa  Elsa  led  him  on  to 
another  revealment.  What  was  it  but  a  rather 
puerile  performance?  Tactless,  boisterous 
youngsters  blurt  out  the  disagreeable  senti 
ments  of  a  household.  The  Buchers  had  acted 
like  children.  Laying  aside  all  question  of  the 
wonderful  German  trained  mind,  knowledge, 
efficiency,  Gard  observed  so  much  that  was 
boy -like  and  girl-like  in  the  adult  Teuton  life. 
No  country  has  such  a  wealth  of  toys  and 
juvenile  story  books  as  Germany.  The  Teu 
ton  weaves  his  nursery  tales,  so  grotesque  and 


112!  VILLA  ELSA 

strikingly  cruel,  into  his  grown-up  years.  All 
this  influence  continues  with  him  and  affects 
him  strongly  as  long  as  he  lives.  The  mature 
German  can  kick,  sulk,  whine,  much  as  his  off 
spring  do.  When  irritated  he  can  easily  act 
like  an  enfant  terrible. 

What  is  quaint,  droll,  distorted,  comically 
ugly,  or  of  a  gingerbready  effect,  in  Germany, 
is  the  expression  of  this  childish  strain.  And 
it  appeals  particularly  there  to  the  youthful- 
ness  that  remains  in  the  hearts  of  visiting  for 
eigners.  It  is  accordingly  one  of  the  most 
popular  Teuton  aspects,  especially  among 
women  and  the  young. 


CHAPTER  XV 

MILITARY  BLOCKHEADS 

GARD'S  attentions  to  Elsa  continued  in 
termittently,  and  as  if  detached,  on 
their  unadvancing  course.  He  had,  however, 
reached  the  stage  of  playing  piano  duets  with 
her.  This  is  always  hopeful.  Occasionally 
they  rambled  through  Schubert's  little  Vienna 
love  waltzes  and  other  selections  that  could 
top  off  an  evening  with  melodies  of  a  sprightly 
and  sentimental  nature.  He  felt  he  was  be 
coming  acquainted  with  her  in  a  way  he  other 
wise  could  not.  She  was  more  cheerful  at 
these  times,  exhilarated  by  the  music. 

He  had  learned  a  large  part  of  his  playing 
by  ear.  Reading  at  sight  was  a  fresh  expe 
rience.  She  corrected  his  fingering  while 
helping  fill  out  his  conversational  vocabulary. 
It  was  certainly  most  agreeable  to  have 
Fraulein  take  his  fingers  in  her  warm,  plump, 

113 


114  VILLA  ELSA 

flexible  hand  with  conscientious  authority  and 
show  him  the  method  of  the  Dresden  Conser 
vatoire. 

Think  of  a  young  and  lustrous  miss  being 
able  to  instruct  him  like  a  veteran!  He  had 
never  considered  American  girls  in  such  a 
light — had  never  expected  to  learn  anything 
of  profitable  skill  from  them.  Elsa,  for  her 
part,  regarded  it  as  a  curious  and  amusing 
experience  to  watch  this  tall  man  playing  like 
a  boy.  The  musical  Germans  she  knew  were 
adept  at  some  instrument. 

He  formed  the  habit  of  adding  en,  or  its 
variants,  to  the  English  equivalent  of  the  Ger 
man  word  he  could  not  think  of,  and  she 
seemed  to  be  struck  by  this  as  a  very  original 
fashion  of  eliciting  information.  On  one  oc 
casion  at  the  piano  they  heard  the  entrance 
bell  below  clang,  announcing  a  visitor,  and 
Gard,  hastening  to  disappear  upstairs,  ex 
claimed: 

"Wir  miissen— wir  miissen — stopfen!" 

The  word  for  stop  would  not  come  to  him. 
Fraulein  blushed  and  snickered  and  ran  off 
to  tell  her  mother  about  Herr  Kirtley  and  his 
German.  He  was  frightened.  What  ab 
surdity  had  he  uttered?  He  got  to  his  diction- 


MILITARY  BLOCKHEADS  115 

ary  as  soon  as  he  could  and  found  he  had  said 
— We  must  darn  stockings! 

The  incident  nearly  always  put  Elsa  in  good 
humor.  She  doubtless  considered  Yankees  an 
odd  folk.  How  could  they  expect  to  become 
civilized  with  their  rudimentary  attainments? 
Must  he  not  be  seeming  to  her  a  sort  of 
freak?  .  .  . 

But,  for  the  most  part,  she  continued  to 
hold  him  aloof,  and  he  concluded  the  reason 
lay  in  the  mystery  which  shadowed  her  young 
life  and  to  which  he  could  trace  no  clue.  What 
could  it  frankly  be  that  sent  her  to  her  room 
and  to  Heine?  The  beginning  of  the  answer 
seemed  to  come  at  last  in  the  form  of  a  youth 
who  suddenly  soared  in  at  Villa  Elsa. 

Herr  Friedrich  von  Tielitz-Leibach  was  a 
composer  and  a  music  director.  He  was  the 
son  of  a  neighbor  who  had  moved  away,  and 
the  musical  Buchers  doted  on  him  as  one  with 
a  shining  future.  Kirtley  had  often  heard 
them  refer  to  Friedrich  as  to  so  many  of  their 
friends  of  whom  he  knew  nothing. 

When  Friedrich  called,  at  very  rare  inter 
vals,  it  was  always  a  wonderful  day.  The 
steady,  stolid  routine  of  the  home  became  per 
turbed,  gladdened.  He  was  a  German  of  Hun- 


116  VILLA  ELSA 

garian  extraction,  and  the  Magyar  blood  gave 
him  a  dash  and  sparkle.  He  was  tall,  very 
thin,  with  the  intellectual  look  that  black- 
rimmed  glasses  produce.  His  eyes  harmonized 
in  color  with  the  black  shock  of  tossing  hair 
that  set  off  a  distinguished  appearance.  And, 
like  a  traditional  votary  of  music,  he  wore  a 
great  black  cloak  swinging  around  him  with 
an  operatic  air,  giving  the  impression  that  he 
was  just  going  to  or  coming  from  the  theater. 

Highly  agitated,  gilded  with  flattery,  readily 
acquainted,  he  bubbled  over  promptly  in  con 
fidences  and  intimate  allusions.  He  was  ever 
brimming  with  the  freshest  gossip  of  himself 
and  his  exalted  career;  and  his  personal  expe 
riences,  he  assumed,  were  bound  to  be  unique 
and  entertaining. 

Making  friends  with  everyone,  he  insisted 
on  calling  on  Gard  up  in  the  attic  room, 
pleased  to  welcome  such  an  "excellent  person" 
— as  he  had  heard  downstairs — to  the  fold  of 
the  family.  But  did  they  not  lead  such  dull, 
stagnant,  imbecile  lives,  moored  here  in  this 
stodgy,  out-of-the-world  suburb,  where  so 
many  idiots  live  who  wonder  how  the  world 
can  come  to  an  end  when  it's  round?  Friedrich 


MILITARY  BLOCKHEADS  117 

truly  hoped  Herr  Kirtley  would  not  be  bored 
to  death. 

To-day  the  musician  had  finished  with  his 
final  military  examination  and  was  at  last  free 
from  ever  having  to  serve.  He  made  a  divert 
ing  story  of  it  and  had  hastened  to  the  Villa  to 
recount  the  congratulatory  news. 

"I  had  to  report  this  morning  for  military 
service,  just  having  got  back  to  Dresden.  So 
I  went  to  the  Platz  and  there  sat  an  officer 
as  big  as  a  hogshead.  And  I  hope  not  as  full. 
He  began  treating  me  as  if  I  were  a  truant 
school  boy.  'Stand  up!  Sit  down!  Stand 
up  again!'  So  the  examination  commenced. 
I  knew  I  was  not  fit  for  the  army.  I  did 
not  want  to  go.  I  hate  it.  But  they  were 
after  me.  He  said: 

"  'Take  off  your  glasses!'  I  removed  them. 
He  said: 

"'What  is  that  letter  off  there?'  Mem 
Gott!  it  looked  as  far  off  as  Pillnitz.  It  was 
my  left  eye  out  of  which  I  had  seen  nothing 
since  I  was  a  baby. 

"  'I  see  nothing,'  I  said.    He  yelled-: 

"'You  can!'    Then  I  said: 

"  'I  can't!'    Then  he  roared  out: 

"  'Why  can't  you?' 


118  VILLA  ELSA 

"  'Because  I  am  blind  in  it !'  He  glared 
at  me  as  if  I  were  a  perjurer. 

'  'It  is  blind  and  you  can  see  nothing  out 
of  it?' 

"And  now  I  was  getting  out  of  patience 
with  this  blockhead.  Blind  and  can't  see  out 
of  it!  They  put  the  blockheads  in  the  army 
because  there  is  no  other  place  for  them.  I 
think  that  must  be  the  reason  why  there  are 
more  synonyms  for  blockhead  in  the  German 
language  than  in  any  other — we  have  the  larg 
est  army.  I  said: 

"  'Of  course  I  can't  see  anything  out  of  it 

because  it's  blind,  you !     I  was  just  on 

the  point  of  adding  'fool'  when  I  stopped  my 
self  in  time.  It  was  the  military — the  august 
military.  One  must  hold  his  peace  before  the 
magnificent  military.  He  thought  I  was 
cheating  about  my  eye  because  I  did  not  want 
to  march  to  Moscow,  to  Paris.  And  I  don't 
want  to  march  to  Moscow  or  Paris.  They're 
so  far. 

"So  this  stupid  Kerl  took  me  over  to  a  higher 
officer  and  still  another.     They  sat  there  as 
stiff  and  self-complacent  as  wooden  saints  in 
a  plaster  church.     They  too  shouted  at  me 
They  were  so  suspicious,  although  I  had  never 


MILITARY  BLOCKHEADS  119 

had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  any  of  them 
before. 

"  'You  say  you  are  blind  in  one  eye  and 
can't  see  out  of  it?' 

"I  screamed,  'No,  no,  no!'  They  thought 
I  might  be  going  insane.  They  examined  my 
eye,  my  glasses,  and  tried  all  kinds  of  tests  to 
try  to  fool  my  poor  eye.  But  it  remained  my 
faithful  friend,  and  they  were  mad.  And  I 
was  just  as  mad  and  ready  to  shriek  at  them — 
'Blind!  Blind!  Blind!'  *  I  was  losing  half  a 
day  for  nothing  over  their  stupidities. 

"Then  the  Dummkopfen  began  to  enter  it  up 
on  their  official  blotters.  That  seemed  to  take 
forever  too.  I  was  nearly  exhausted.  They 
solemnly  wrote  me  down  as  blind  in  one  eye 
and  cannot  see  out  of  it.  And  at  last,  Gott 
sei  Dank!  they  let  me  go,  glowering  at  me  as 
if  they  were  still  sure  I  was  somehow  tricking 
them.  And  here  I  am — alive!" 

Friedrich's  ludicrous  recital,  embellished  by 
a  hundred  gestures  and  poses,  had  raised  a 
guffaw  even  in  Villa  Elsa. 


CHAPTER  XVI 
A  LIVELY  MUSICIAN. 

GARD  discovered  that  such  mockery  or 
berating  of  military  officials,  with 
whom  the  ordinary  public  came  in  servile  con 
tact,  was  rather  common  in  Germany  in  spite 
of  the  universal  adoration  of  the  army. 

Intermixed  with  Friedrich's  take-off  were 
his  moments  of  "the  grand  manner,"  appro 
priate  to  a  musical  director  who  is  born  to 
command  fickle  or  imperious  singers  and  mu 
sicians.  He  was  naturally  an  actor.  His  re 
freshing  mimicries  amused  Gard.  Against 
the  bovine  background  of  the  Villa  Elsa  circle, 
he  stood  out  in  relief  as  an  enlivening  figure 
with  flitting  phases  of  elegance. 

He  was  clever,  talented.  He  spun  off  a  lot 
of  new  music  at  the  piano,  much  of  it  coming 
from  his  own  pen.  Elsa  hung  absorbed  over 
the  wing  of  the  instrument.  Friedrich,  of 

120 


A  LIVELY  MUSICIAN  121 

about  Kirtley's  age  but  adequately  equipped 
and  ambitious,  was  aspiring  to  some  one  of  the 
dignified  thrones  in  the  musical  kingdom  of 
Germany.  Card  was  only  just  hatching  out 
as  a  man.  He  was  essentially  but  a  lad  grown 
up.  Von  Tielitz  showed  already  a  wholly  de 
veloped  maturity.  German  instruction  again 
versus  American  education! 

Friedrich  was  better  versed  in  English  than 
the  Bucher  children.  He  paid  two  calls  on 
Gard  that  first  day.  Talking  Anglo-Saxon 
was  good  practice.  On  the  second  call  he  dis 
charged  a  missile  that  struck  Kirtley  near  the 
heart,  and  gave  him  a  feeling  of  faintness. 

"Don't  you  like  Elsa?"  Von  Tielita 
whipped  out  with  no  preamble.  "She  is  really 
a  nice  girl,  a  very  nice  girl.  Her  family  thinks 
we  are  to  marry.  Well,  perhaps.  I  don't 
know.  Sometimes  I  think  yes.  Sometimes  I 
think  no.  There  are  so  many  others,  don't 
you  know.  But  I  think  we  will  marry  as 
soon  as  I  get  my  Kapellmeistership.  We  are 
always  such  good  friends.  She  used  to  sit  on 
my  lap  before  I  went  away.  O!  we  are  very 
good  friends.  But  now  I  am  not  so  much  in 
Dresden  and,  my  dear  Mr.  Kirtley,  my  poor 
Kapellmeistership  does  not  come  along.  It 


122  VILLA  ELSA 

is  most  aggravating,  as  you  say  in  English. 
I  get  so  discouraged." 

He  brightened  again. 

"They  tell  me  you  and  Elsa  have  been  play 
ing  duos.  Such  good  training.  Very  agree 
able.  We  used  to  play  together  also.  A  nice 
girl  to  rub  one's  knees  against  under  the 
piano — oh, 

I  am  Titania  the  blond, 
Titania,  of  the  air! 

Friedrich  twittered  gayly  the  lines  from 
"Mignon."  Then  he  abruptly  changed. 

"But  I  have  now  so  little  time  for  serious 
maidens.  Ach  Himmel!  How  I  am  driven 
by  going  here  and  going  there !  One  says  this 
to  me,  another  says  that  to  me,  and  my  head 
gets  all  in  a  whirl." 

So  he  wandered  on  with  his  mixtures  of  non 
chalance,  condescension  and,  above  all,  his 
ebullient  self-esteem  that  flowed  over  on  to 
everyone  to  the  point  of  deluging  them.  When 
he  went  away,  it  was  with  such  a  warm  invi 
tation  to  call  upon  him  the  next  week  that 
Kirtley  could  not  but  accept.  Besides,  here 
was  opened  up  a  novel  and  suggestive  line  of 


A  LIVELY  MUSICIAN  123 

behavior  from  the  standpoint  of  the  German 
young  man  of  the  world. 

Card  was  left  with  confused  feelings  that 
drooped  their  wings  in  displeasure  if  not  dis 
tress.  So  there  was  a  rival,  and  of  long  stand 
ing,  on  the  little  rosy  sea  of  his  romance !  And 
this  was  he.  Was  it  a  wonder  that  Elsa  had 
"spells"?  Here  was  a  true  heart-breaker. 
Just  the  type  to  play  havoc  with  a  girl.  What 
place  was  there  left  for  the  mild,  unpretend 
ing  Gard?  And  still  she  deserved  far  better 
than  Von  Tielitz.  Perhaps  it  was  this  feeling 
that  added  to  her  unhappiness.  His  vul 
garity!  To  talk  as  Von  Tielitz  did  about  one 
who  might  become  his  wife:  and  to  a  stranger, 
was  a  new  form  of  German  brutality.  It 
steadied  and  deepened  Card's  admiration  for 
her.  Who  ever  heard  a  young  Yankee  speak 
like  this  about  his  serious  sweetheart?  How 
ever  raw  he  may  be,  there  is  a  certain  sacred 
respect  at  the  bottom  of  his  language  about 
her — his  bearing  toward  her. 

Elsa  did  not  appear  at  meals  for  a  day  or 
two  after  Friedrich  left.  Kirtley  was  not  en 
couraged  by  learning  that  this  usually  hap 
pened  after  a  call  from  the  composer.  He 
thought  it  strange  that  the  Frau,  with  all  her 


124  VILLA  ELSA 

plain  speech  and  hardy  lack  of  sentiment,  still 
made  no  reference  to  her  daughter's  trouble. 
Marriage  is  to  the  Germans  such  an  earth-to- 
earth  affair,  as  Gard  perceived,  that  he  mar 
veled  she  did  not  unbosom  herself  capaciously 
about  what  must  be  a  mother's  anxiety.  But 
the  Teuton  daughter  is  like  a  glove  that  can 
be  put  on  or  cast  off  by  the  sovereign  male. 
She  is  meant  to  be  toughened,  exposed  to  rude 
blasts,  fortified,  to  be  able  to  support  the 
draft-mare  burdens  of  Teuton  wifehood. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY 

GARD   now   descended   unwittingly   into 
one  of  the  darkest  regions  of  German 
life,  and  one  which  foreign  publics  had  persist 
ently    missed    or    voluntarily    overlooked    in 
their  chorus  of  approbation  of  the  race. 

It  is  a  familiar  dictum  that  one  can  judge 
of  a  nation  pretty  fairly  by  the  position  and 
treatment  of  its  women.  Kirtley  had  never, 
in  America,  heard  anything  about  Deutsch- 
land  in  this  light.  But  he  soon  found  in  Sax 
ony  that  this  was  only  one  of  the  numerous 
German  topics  on  which  little  publicity  was 
shed  in  his  homeland  in  spite  of  the  general 
emphasis  laid  on  German  preeminence.  This 
emphasis  was  mainly  a  diffusion,  through  mere 
books  of  information,  about  achievements  and 
an  extraordinary  condition  of  learned  men 
tality.  Of  the  actual  inhabitants  beyond  the 
Rhine,  ignorance  was  kept  widespread.  Ger- 

125 


126  VILLA  ELSA 

man  femininity  was  assumed  to  be  of  a  pre 
dominating  excellence  to  match  that  of  Ger 
man  masculinity. 

No  study  of  a  people  is  indeed  complete 
without  an  unglossed  inquiry  into  its  conduct 
toward  its  women  and  children.  To  say  that 
the  German's  business  traits  are  the  same  and 
as  reputable  as  those  of  other  races,  is  below 
the  mark.  In  this  secular  domain  he  is  com 
pelled  to  deal  and  to  act  within  the  accepted 
formulas  of  trade.  To  do  otherwise  would  be 
to  ostracize  himself. 

But  he  is  in  no  such  competition  or  is  sub 
ject  to  no  such  exactions  in  his  attitude  toward 
his  own  women  and  children.  With  them  he 
does  as  he  pleases  and  his  real  nature  stands 
forth.  These  truly  vital  matters  have  been 
passed  over  as  if  unnoticed  by  the  world,  as 
has  been  said,  and  still  it  wonders  why  it  can 
not  learn  what  the  German  is — does  not  un 
derstand  him.  He  is,  perhaps  more  than  any 
one,  what  he  is  toward  his  own  inferiors — 
toward  those  who  are  weaker  and  dependent. 

The  question  of  German  womanhood  and 
girlhood  should  not  therefore  be  blinked  by 
the  earnest  contemplator.  It  was  not  long 
before  Gard  was  saying  to  himself  that  if 


IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY      127 

Americans  could  be  made  to  realize  the  status 
of  womankind  in  Deutschland,  they  would  not 
be  so  lured  by  the  idea  of  sending  their  young 
folk  thither  for  education.  There  would  be  a 
marked  decline  in  their  generous  enthusiasm 
for  all  things  German.  In  what  civilized  land 
does  woman  lead  less  in  lofty,  sublimated 
power  or  put  a  fainter  stamp  on  the  talents 
of  the  race?  German  art,  music,  poetry,  lan 
guage,  politics,  education,  all  are  distinctively 
masculine.  The  Teuton  woman  merely  par 
takes  of  the  life  of  man,  the  ideal.  She  does 
not  assume  to  lead  him.  She  would  seem  so 
far  below  par  that,  as  Gard  had  seen,  even 
flirtation  scarcely  exists  in  Deutschland.  Flir 
tation  is  particularly  a  custom  among  equals. 
When  he  returned  Friedrich's  visits  as 
promised,  he  found  him  sharing  the  room  of 
his  friend  Karl  Messer.  Messer  was  a  success 
ful  architect  who  had  already  secured  a  Gov 
ernment  commission  while  the  equally  youth 
ful  Kirtley — may  it  be  repeated — had  not 
begun  real  life  and,  according  to  the  American 
plan,  could  do  nothing  very  well.  Those  two 
room-mates  and  cronies  were  leading  the  typi 
cal  Teuton  existence  of  youths  who  combined 
proficient  work  with  a  frank  sensuality  accom- 


128  VILLA  ELSA 

panied,  of  course,  by  much  imbibing  in  the 
German  way.  And  it  may  be  preliminarily 
noted  that  what  explorations  Gard  afterward 
made  in  this  great  and  seamy  side  of  Teuton 
nature,  likewise  ended  in  a  downward  direc 
tion  toward  depths  that  he  had  scarcely  thought 
possible  in  the  educated  human. 

Von  Tielitz  and  Messer  had  been  at  an  up 
roarious  ball  the  night  before  and  were  idling 
about,  recuperating.  They  had  accomplished 
the  ruin  there  of  two  girls,  which  they  looked 
upon  as  truly  manly  sport.  Assuming  that 
Kirtley,  as  must  be  the  case  with  all  young 
men,  was  equally  interested  with  them  in  being 
satyrs,  they  lost  no  time  in  trying  to  entertain 
him  with  their  adventures. 

The  pursuit  of  woman!  In  Germany  this 
is  not  very  difficult,  as  she  is  not  visibly  un 
happy  to  consider  herself  the  legitimate  prey 
of  the  lordly  sex.  This  idea  runs  naturally 
and  powerfully  throughout  the  Teuton 
scheme.  It  is  not  merely  that  the  female  is 
considered  to  have  a  price,  but  the  price  must 
be  low,  if  not  a  cypher.  To  German  women 
the  triumphant  male  is  a  splendid  creature. 
His  acts  are  noble.  To  be  hungry,  thirsty, 
sensual  are  proper,  and  therefore  candid,  attri- 


IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY      129 

butes  in  man.  In  order  to  subdue  the  earth, 
the  race  must  be  prolific,  and  to  be  prolific, 
desires  must  not  be  limited  or  weakened  by 
pale  Puritanisms.  That  men  are  normally  un- 
cleansed  sewers  from  which  the  face  need  not 
be  averted,  was  a  conception  Kirtley's  senses 
had  fallen  somewhat  foul  of  in  the  Bucher 
home.  To  what  point  this  aspect  was  carried 
logically  outside  Villa  Elsa,  he  was  to  realize 
in  skirting  the  openly  sensual  sides. 

The  two  Germans  told  of  the  various  girls 
who  had  lived  with  them  when  in  college.  For 
the  frank  amatory  life  of  the  Teuton  student 
begins  early.  Von  Tielitz  and  Messer  also 
boasted  of  their  present-day  mistresses  who 
were  so  often  changed  for  reasons  of  economy. 
The  hilarious  game,  as  Gard  learned,  was  to 
obtain  favors  in  exchange  for  nothing  as  far 
as  possible.  Trickery,  lies,  abuse,  kicks,  were 
employed  to  this  purpose.  Female  chastity? 
A  fable  for  the  impotent.  Consequently  all 
was  fair. 

Sisters  of  their  respected  fellows  were  infer- 
entially  appraised  and  colloquially  "hefted" 
as  articles  of  social  commerce  ready  to  be 
knocked  off  matrimonially  to  the  best  bidder 
under  the  material  rules  of  the  German  Mit- 


130  VILLA  ELSA 

gift  system.  Through  the  garish  films  of  in 
nuendo  and  braggadocio  that  day  Kirtley  was 
led  to  behold  images  of  these  daughters  as  if 
they  were  languishing  to  become  mates  and 
beating  their  breasts  in  their  longing  to  be 
come  mothers.  He  had  by  no  means  now  for 
gotten  Friedrich's  equivocal  remarks  about 
Elsa. 

Before  Gard  was  to  leave  Deutschland  he 
had  to  conclude  that  the  German  puts  himself 
in  the  attitude  of  thinking  of  his  women  as 
sluttish  and  accordingly  acting  in  that  scale 
toward  them.  There  is  no  great  gilding  to 
these  fancies.  Girls  are  small  inspiration  to 
him  compared  with  what  the  p elites  dames  are 
to  the  amorous  Frenchman.  Idealization  of 
love  in  its  ultimate  fulfillment,  the  poetizing 
of  the  ardent  flesh  crying  out  for  its  craving 
mate,  are  characteristically  ignored  by  the 
Teuton  who  seeks  the  baser  gratifications 
without  illuminations  of  loveliness  or  hesita 
tions  of  delicate  refinement. 

Kirtley  thought  he  knew  young  men,  yet 
this  revolting  capacity  in  them  in  Germany 
was  proven  to  him  to  be  not  unnormal  by  its 
openness  and  by  the  dearth  of  any  loud  voices 
in  rebuke.  The  German  is  conspicuously  full 


IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY      131 

of  animal  spirits.  He  affects  the  mighty  in 
physique.  Exudations  and  emanations  are 
frank  and  prominent  functions. 

Under  the  Kaiser  the  Berlin  dame  who 
rented  rooms  to  the  foreign  student,  offering 
them  "with"  or  "without,"  meaning  sometimes 
her  own  daughter  in  the  bargain,  considered 
herself  respectable  enough.  More  than  this 
she  acted  in  line  with  what  appeared  to  be  the 
purpose  of  acquiring  a  sympathetic  control  of 
the  morals  as  well  as  the  minds  of  the  alien 
sojourner,  the  one  being  accompanied  by  a 
pandering  to  his  lower  nature  with  the  doors 
of  vice  flagrantly  ajar  while  the  other  armed 
his  mentality  with  a  Teutonized  equipment 
and  outlook.  To  sap  the  will,  to  galvanize 
the  mind  as  from  a  German  electric  battery, 
palsied  resistance  to  aggressive  Germania.  It 
was  of  a  piece  with  that  propaganda  which  the 
world  was  not  to  wake  up  to  until  almost  too 
late. 

These  downright  animal  phases  pointed  the 
way  logically,  in  Card's  mind,  to  that  ob 
scenity  which  is  interwoven  in  the  German 
civilization.  He  had  first  come  across  such 
evidence  in  leading  comic  journals.  The 
drawings  and  jests  that  did  not  leave  much 


132  VILLA  ELSA 

to  be  filled  out,  adorned  many  a  German  page 
with  an  Adamic  candor.  It  divorced  him  from 
Simplicissimus  and  Ulk,  not  that  he  was 
squeamish  or  a  Miss  Priscilla,  but  he  saw  no 
fun  in  that  sort  of  thing. 

He  talked  of  it  later  with  Anderson. 
Though  there  were  pleasant  delusions  in  An 
derson's  mind  about  Germany  before  he  ar 
rived,  it  was  not  his  fault  if  few  seemed  to 
be  left  after  his  seven  years.  He  bluntly  de 
fined  the  limited  German  wit  and  humor  as 
characteristically  born  of  the  latrine. 

Gard's  two  young  friends  did  not  refrain 
from  talk  in  the  key  of  indecency.  Their  com 
placent  revelation  of  the  extent  to  which  the 
pornographic  enters  into  the  German  scene, 
suggested  an  unclosed  Priapean  volume  whose 
companion  in  America  is  as  a  sealed  book. 
Kirtley  heard  that  stores  filled  with  obscene 
objects  publicly  for  sale  were  to  be  found  on 
frequented  thoroughfares  in  German  cities. 

He  saw  that  Frau  Bucher's  insistence  on 
a  chaperone,  which  he  had  regarded  a  silly, 
outworn  conventionality,  appeared  most  wise. 
Germany  was  a  poor  place  for  an  unguarded 
German  girl. 

This  ran  through  his  mind: 


IMMORALITY  AND  OBSCENITY      133 

"Great  Guns!  What  a  country  for  me  to 
study  for  the  ministry,  study  morality,  best  fit 
myself  for  life,  as  advised  by  Rebner  and,  it 
seems — everybody !" 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

THE  NAKED  CULT 

THE  German,  in  all  this  physical  aspect,  is 
not  a  little  like  an  unabashed  ape.  Ac 
cordingly  the  foreigner  in  Deutschland  is  im 
pressed  by  the  popular  worship  of  the  wide- 
hipped  female.  The  Teuton  can  leave  little 
to  be  inferred  but  that  he  is  more  interested 
in  the  magnet  of  her  developed  hips  than  in 
the  magic  of  her  brain. 

American  women,  with  their  slender  waists 
and  chaste  frigidness  born  of  Plymouth  Rock, 
with  their  rulership  in  the  home,  their  influ 
ence  permeating  conspicuously  in  matters  of 
public  interest  out  of  the  home,  their  entire 
freedom  to  be  courted  and  married  or  let  alone 
in  unbounded  respect — how  long  would  these 
conditions  have  been  permitted  by  the  Gothic 
Kaiser  if  heedless  America  had  fallen  into  his 
gradually  tightening  grip?  Doubtless  to  his 
view  Yankee  women  were  treated  too  much 

134 


THE  NAKED  CULT  135 

like  dolls.  They  are  not  breeders  of  soldiers, 
makers  of  kingdoms.  They  do  not  rear  chil 
dren  for  the  State.  What  have  they  desirably 
in  common  with  the  disciplined  Hausfrau  who 
becomes  the  mother  of  the  ruling  future  gene 
rations?  She  is  properly  the  chattel  of  the 
Government. 

And  so  it  is  not  enough,  as  Card  recognized, 
for  Frau  or  Fraulein  to  be  massive  of  line 
and  fond  of  being  upholstered  in  dense  colors 
in  order  to  satisfy  the  general  grossness  of  her 
male.  It  is  not  enough  that  she  should  be 
armed  with  strong  hands,  planted  on  large 
feet,  and  decorated  in  the  German's  favorite 
rococo  manner  of  abounding  breasts,  to  grat 
ify  his  cyclopean  aspirations. 

"Big  hips  mean  big  women  and  big  women 
mean  big  empires."  The  sex  fecund,  ardent 
for  mating  and  offspring,  is  the  type.  And 
thus  fatness,  which  obviously  and  indisputably 
fills  out  the  picture,  is  a  popular  German  fe 
male  attribute.  Von  Tielitz  and  Messer  made 
it  plain  that  obesity  and  width  of  girth  char 
acterized  the  transient  objects  of  their  amours. 
And  their  allusions  gave  every  evidence  that 
the  famous  Naked  Cult,  to  the  fascinations  of 
which  Fraulein  Wasserhaus,  with  her  bared 


136  VILLA  ELSA 

and  redundant  bosom,  was  yielding,  had  been 
claiming  the  German  youth  for  its  own. 

Germany  was  recovering  from  this  rage  for 
nudity  which  had  assumed  some  proportions. 
Starting  from  the  only  artistic  section  of  the 
Empire,  namely  Bavaria,  this  cult  had 
knocked  even  against  the  gloomy  portals  of 
the  Pommeranian  churches  in  the  north.  The 
Teuton  had  suddenly  discovered  that  it  was 
right  and  proper  in  his  godship,  as  it  was  in 
the  realm  of  the  Greek  deities,  to  go  about 
naked.  It  was  natural,  healthful,  and  both 
beautiful  and  moral. 

German  men  and  women,  in  their  divinity, 
should  bathe,  drink  beer,  dance  together  nude. 
What  else  did  Grecian  sculpture  teach  to  these 
the  modern  Greeks — the  true  legatees  of  all 
that  was  Hellenic?  What  else  did  painting 
inculcate  but  the  beauty  of  undraped  couples 
wandering  through  landscapes?  What  more 
majestic  spectacle  than  that  of  the  Teuton 
father,  mother  and  children  going  out  for  an 
afternoon  promenade,  clothed  only  in  the  in 
genuous  consciousness  of  their  human  great 
ness? 

In  a  race  of  beings  so  little  modeled  after 
the  accepted  lines  of  pulchritude,  all  this  was 


THE  NAKED  CULT  137 

laughable.  But  to  the  German,  condemned 
to  a  vise-like  seriousness  and  to  childlikeness, 
it  became  significant  and  weighty.  It  was 
such  a  grateful  revelatior  not  to  have  to  dream 
of  his  loved  ones  through  the  unsatisfactory 
medium  of  German  clothing. 

With  his  customary  excess  of  logic  he 
plunged  headlong  into  these  ardent  waves  of 
the  realm  of  Venus  rising  unimpeachably 
from  the  sea  in  her  immortal  bareness.  He 
began  to  systematize  this  demonstration. 
Some  of  the  political  parties  seemed  to  be  in 
line  to  favor  this  revealment  of  another  radical 
tenet.  German  philosophers  made  ready  to 
seize  upon  it  with  huge  mental  biceps  and 
labor  to  incorporate  it  beneficently  into  the 
Teuton  pansophy.  Even  doctors  of  theology 
were  said  to  view  the  novel  dispensation 
through  the  blue  spectacles  of  their  didacti 
cism,  and  to  hesitate  and  stumble  over  the 
question  of  greeting  these  glad  visions  of  a 
glad  apocalypse.  What  was  truer  Protestant 
ism  than  that  there  is  the  natural  body  as  well 
as  the  spiritual  body,  and  that  it  would  be 
virtuous  to  behold  outwardly  the  former  as  it 
was  virtuous  to  recognize  inwardly  the  latter? 

The  campaign  became  almost  lively.     Of 


138  VILLA  ELSA 

course  the  young  Germans,  whose  fathers  and 
mothers  in  their  youth  had  raved  over  Wag- 
nei  and  thus  shocked  their  elders,  raved  over 
a  departure  that  linked  such  possibilities  of 
frankness  and  loveliness  so  delectably  to 
gether.  The  Von  Tielitzes  and  Messers  were 
in  the  seventh  heaven. 

But  Germany,  being  a  northern  country 
ruled  severely  in  the  main  by  old  men,  was 
bound  to  feel  in  the  end  more  comfortable  in 
clothes.  Climate  governs  male  and  female 
alike  and  shapes  their  habits  to  its  own  tyran 
nical  mandates.  The  Teutons  were  doomed  to 
suggest  flannel.  So  a  vast  moral  revulsion  in 
the  form  of  the  much  German  clothedness 
finally  rose  up  and  overwhelmed  the  religion 
of  Nudity— the  Nackt  Kultur.  Although  the 
Teuton  male  likes  to  contemplate  himself  and 
be  contemplated  as  candid  Mother  Nature 
made  him,  he  could  not  adapt  himself  to  the 
idea  of  his  fleshy  women  appearing  naked 
before  a  critical  and  commenting  world. 
Momus  had  at  last  arrived  in  ancient  Deutsch- 
land  and  was  feared. 

While  the  movement,  which  was  presuming 
to  cover  Germany  with  sculptures  of  its  heroes 
in  complete  undress,  honored  itself  by  such 


THE  NAKED  CULT  139 

fitting  testimonials  to  their  lordliness,  Fritz 
curiously  shrank  before  public  statutes  depict 
ing  his  fat  housewife  in  like  absence  of  attire. 
This  was  illogical  besides  being  unsatisfactory 
to  those  who  had  insisted  on  worshipping  the 
German  female  form  al  fresco.  The  vital 
point  being  thus  dodged,  there  was  left  noth 
ing  interesting  in  the  way  of  legs  for  the 
Naked  Cult  to  stand  on,  and  it  dropped  out 
of  sight  as  suddenly  as  it  had  risen  to  view. 
Prejudice  is  Plebeian  and  blind  and  to  the 
blind  and  Plebeian  high  art  of  course  goes  with 
low  morals.  The  Plebs  are  always  in  the 
crushing  majority.  So  the  odd  German  mind 
jumped  to  the  other  extreme  and  for  a  few 
months  got  ashamed  of  little  daughters  going 
barefoot  or  playing  with  naked  animal  toys. 

Card  had  been  able  to  warm  up  small  sym 
pathy  for  the  modern  military  authors  and 
iron  and  blood  philosophers  whom  he  found  in 
vogue  in  Germany.  On  the  other  hand,  cold 
water  had  unexpectedly  been  thrown  on  the 
retreating  Goethes  and  S chillers  whom  he  had 
come  to  venerate  with  grammar  and  lexicon. 
As  the  Germans  were  proving  to  be  wide  of 
what  his  anticipations  had  set  as  a  mark,  he 


140  VILLA  ELSA 

had  begun  a  serious  course  of  reading  not  only 
about  the  modern  race  but  about  its  origins, 
curious  to  know  of  the  early  developments  of 
this  strange  people  who  belonged  to  civiliza 
tion  yet  was  so  considerably  and  constitution 
ally  outside  the  realm  of  its  Christian  develop 
ment. 

In  this  study  he  became  attracted  to  Charle 
magne  and  that  epoch.  Of  them  he  had 
learned  little  at  college.  Of  course  the  Ger 
mans  had  "bagged"  Charlemagne,  as  an  Eng 
lishman  would  express  it,  in  addition  to  their 
other  seizures  right  and  left  in  the  face  of 
an  indulgent,  even  supine,  world.  But  Card 
discovered  that  while  they  had  kept  the  puis 
sant  Carolingian  snatched  to  their  breasts,  the 
chivalrous  side  of  the  great  medieval  evolution 
which  ended  in  fostering  the  romantic  ideal 
of  womanhood  in  its  chastity,  daintiness  and 
colorful  spell,  had  never  reached  much  east  of 
his  capital — Aix-la-Chapelle.  His  heroic  size, 
his  practical  religious  pretensions  and  assump 
tions,  his  campaigns  to  seize  control  of  foreign 
lands — all  such  Carolingian  features  and  man 
ifestations  were  imitated  and  adopted  as  Ger 
man  motifs,  but  the  corresponding  gallant 
exaltation  of  the  gentler  sex  was  not  included. 


THE  NAKED  CULT  141 

The  polished  courts  of  self-denying  love,  the 
Troubadours,  the  salons,  the  refining  influ 
ences  that  gradually  raised  woman  to  her  mod 
ern  sovereignty  of  a  graceful  liberty  and 
charm,  never  characterized  Deutschland. 

Besides,  women  becoming  idols  through 
his  own  sexual  restraint  compelled  a  self-sac 
rificing  procedure  that  did  not  appeal  to  Fritz. 
To  him  those  many  feminizing  influences  had 
naught  to  do  with  strength  in  battle  or  in  toil. 
They  were  dangerous,  softening,  and  coddled 
the  elements  of  defeat.  He  wanted  work  and 
fighting  and  children,  always  children,  but 
with  the  lustful  appetites  of  the  undisputed 
male. 

His  Berthas  and  Gretchens,  who  had  been 
exceptional  figures  in  the  warring  camps  of 
the  ancient  Teutons,  were  therefore  only 
transferred  into  a  similar  yet  menial  relation 
in  the  housed  home.  And  there  they  have 
typically  remained — in  its  cook  room  and 
nursery.  The  fact  that  the  Buchers,  though 
coming,  as  they  boasted,  from  one  original, 
unmixed,  stationary  stock  there  in  that  middle 
spot  of  old  Europe,  had  displayed  themselves 
as  social  and  political  parvenus,  led  to  Kirt- 
ley's  reflecting: 


142  VILLA  ELSA 

"The  German  thinks  of  a  wife  as  in  the 
kitchen,  while  a  wife  appears  to  the  French 
man  as  in  the  salon,  to  the  Briton,  as  in  an 
English  garden." 

So  this  gradual  elevating  of  the  sex  toward 
an  ethereal  height  in  all  respects,  toward  pure 
associations  which,  through  the  epochs  of 
chaste  saints,  chivalry,  gallantry,  social  free 
dom,  were  to  uplift  men  by  the  graces  of  lofty 
feminine  enchantment,  took  place  westward 
of  the  Rhine.  And  Germany,  if  the  sporadic 
Heine  is  excepted,  had  no  Shelleys,  no  Cho- 
pins,  and  scarcely  any  of  that  rare,  delightful 
perfume  of  human  existence  which  western  and 
southern  mankind  quite  typically  adores  as  the 
ultimate  extract  of  beauty  because  it  is  asso 
ciated  with  the  spiritual  elegance  of  woman 
hood.  .  .  . 

On  Kirtley's  leaving  that  day,  Von  Tielitz 
and  Messer  showed  themselves  generously 
ready  to  share  their  amorous  acquaintance 
ship.  They  insisted  on  his  going  with  them 
sometime  to  the  smallest,  quaintest  inn  in 
Dresden  where  they  were  at  present  cultivat 
ing  friendly  relations  with  "Fritzi."  In  short 
petticoats  she  served  the  best  hot  sausages  in 


THE  NAKED  CULT  143 

Saxony.  To  an  American  student  of  life  and 
language  in  Germany  she  was  pictured  as  ab 
solutely  necessary.  For,  although  originally 
from  the  Thuringian  forest,  she  spoke  the 
Saxon  dialect  "shockingly  well." 

Kirtley  laughed  it  off  as  a  part  of  the  ribald 
fun. 

The  young  Germans  wound  up  their  list  of 
salutations  with  Der  Tag! 

"What  do  you  mean  by  Der  Tag?"  he  in 
quired.  The  others  grinned  significantly. 

"Wait  and  see.  It  will  be  something  kolos- 
sal."  And  they  called  out  after  him : 

"Don't  forget  about  Fritzi!" 

That  night  Gard,  laden  with  heavy  feel 
ings,  tumbled  into  his  German  bed  piled  with 
its  equatorial  bolsters.  Could  Elsa  marry  a 
man  like  Friedrich?  Ought  she  to  be  per 
mitted  to?  Could  she  really  love  him? 
Wouldn't  she  be  horrified  if  she  knew  fully 
about  him?  Or  would  she,  like  German 
women  in  general,  seem  to  care  little  about  the 
morals  of  her  future  mate?  Likely,  as  Gard 
fancied,  it  was  this  knowledge  of  him  that  sent 
her  now  and  then  in  evident  unhappiness  to 
her  room. 

She  was  a  pure  and  very  worth-while  girl. 


144  VILLA  ELSA 

He  could  not  ignore  that  her  healthful,  pro 
ductive  example  was  a  stimulus  to  him.  It 
would  be  a  sturdy  prop  in  his  long  sensitive, 
susceptible  physical  recovery — and  afterward. 
Was  it  really  not  a  kind  of  duty  to  try  to  save 
her  from  sharing  the  fate  of  Von  Tielitz,  and 
win  her  if  he  could? 


CHAPTER  XIX 

JIM  DEM  ING  OF  ERIE,  PAY. 

THE  Americanization  of  the  Bucher  home 
Kirtley  naturally  thought  beyond  all 
attempts.  Its  detestation  of  the  low-born 
Yankee,  with  only  his  sorry  millions,  seemed 
too  deeply  planted  there,  especially  in  the 
brain  and  bosom  of  the  Frau.  Could  Villa 
Elsa  have  been  transferred  to  the  United 
States,  such  a  viewpoint  might  perhaps  have 
been  altered  after  a  time.  But  this  represen 
tative  boorish  German  family,  stuck  here  on 
the  rainy  banks  of  the  mid-continent  Elbe  and 
so  rooted  and  clamorous  in  the  presumption 
that  they  and  their  kind  were  eclipsing  the 
earth — how  impossible  of  any  conversion? 

Gard  had  at  first  the  idea  of  getting  to 
gether  some  American  statistics  and  showing 
the  Buchers  a  few  facts.  Then  he  saw  this  was 
hopeless.  They  accepted  nothing  that  did  not 
come  through  their  own  official  channels.  And 

145 


146  VILLA  ELSA 

why  should  he  waste  time  on  these  obscure 
people?  Why  should  he  undertake  to  upset 
their  racial  happiness?  Nobody,  least  of  all 
he,  could  change  their  attitude  about  the  up 
start  Yankee  and  his  upstart  dollars.  The 
Buchers  held  themselves  too  far  above  mere 
money  and  its  filth. 

But  the  miracle  was,  nevertheless,  to  be  ac 
complished,  at  least  for  awhile,  in  a  manner  as 
simple  as  it  was  unlocked  for.  And  this  was 
what  happened. 

One  day,  soon  after  Card's  disillusioning 
call  on  Von  Tielitz,  he  was  grubbing  in  his 
attic  among  the  ninth  century  roots  of  the 
future  super-luxuriant  Teuton  forest,  when 
he  heard  Tekla's  woodchopper  feet  pounding 
their  way  upstairs.  A  card  was  thrust  in. 
James  Alexander  Deming,  Erie,  Pa.  Well, 
of  all  the  world!  The  next  moment  he  was 
there  in  the  room,  talkative,  airy,  sunny, 
dressed  with  the  obvious  American  conscious 
ness  of  having  just  left  the  hands  of  his  fash 
ionable  tailor  and  haberdasher.  Every  section 
of  his  black  hair  and  tiny  black  mustache  was 
plastered  down  as  always  in  correct  position. 

Making  himself  right  at  home  with  his 
newly  acquired  cosmopolitanism,  Jim  ex- 


JIM  DEMING  OF  ERIE,  PAY.  147 

plained  how  he  was  already  settled  in  Dresden 
for  the  winter. 

"You  knew  that  the  more  I  saw  of  this  old 
Germany,  the  more  I  liked  it.  My  governor 
wrote  me  I  could  stay  if  I  would  try  to  learn 
^something  and  I  thought  of  you.  I  said  to 
myself,  'Kirtley  is  a  serious  sort  of  chap.  If 
I  light  down  near  him,  it  will  be  easier  to  learn 
this  confounded  language  they  have  got  over 
h£re,  and  I  will  be  able  to  shine  with  it  in 
Erie,  Pay,  and  do  the  old  folks  proud.' 

"So  I've  got  a  teacher  and  a  grammar 
and  also  a  dictionary  so  big  I  can't  find  any 
thing  in  it — all  ready  to  loop  the  loop.  But 
first,  of  course,  I  must  run  out  and  see  you 
and  see  how  you  are  getting  on,  s\vimming  in 
beer.  Nothing  is  too  good  for  us  Americans, 
you  know,  so  my  room  in  the  hotel  is  right  by 
the  royal  palace  where  I  can  see  the  Crown 
Prince  with  his  sword  fall  off  his  horse  every 
morning  at  ten.  Gad,  won't  it  be  something 
to  talk  about  when  I  get  back  to  good  old 
Pennsylwanee  ?" 

Deming's  "old  man"  was  possessed  of 
wealth  derived  from  oil  wells.  But  although 
Jim's  pockets  had  always  been  stuffed  with 
money,  he  had  never  been  able  to  get  through 


148  VILLA  ELSA 

high  school  or  enter  college.  Hang  it  all,  he 
didn't  take  to  books  like  Kirtley  and  all  such 
intellectual  boys.  It  was  the  fault  of  his  dad 
and  mam.  They  had  petted  and  spoiled  him 
— an  only  child.  It  was  too  bad,  but  shucks, 
he  wasn't  going  to  let  it  interfere  with  his 
happiness.  So  it  was  money  here  and  money 
there,  and  a  host  of  friends  who,  like  Gard, 
could  not  help  being  fond  of  him. 

Jim  had  seen  the  Kaiser  and  quaffed  out 
of  the  largest  hogshead  on  the  Rhine.  He  had 
been  at  a  duel  at  Heidelberg  where  the  chap 
with  a  cut  through  his  cheek  asked  for  a  mug 
of  beer  and  blew  the  beer  out  through  the 
gash.  He  had  swum  in  Lake  Starnberg  where 
Ludwig  II  had  drowned  himself;  had  seen  the 
cafe  in  Munich  where  the  celebrated  Naked 
Culture  was  said  to  have  originated;  had 
bribed  his  way  into  the  villa  at  Mayerling 
where  Rudolph  of  Austria  and  Marie  had 
ended  that  mysterious  night  of  fatality.  In 
short,  he  had  done  Germany  pretty  thor 
oughly. 

When,  by  his  insistent  questionings,  he 
learned  about  the  comfortable  and  illuminat 
ing  German  home  where  Kirtley  had  installed 
himself,  and  that  there  was  a  fine,  serious 


JLM  DEMING  OF  ERIE,  PAY.  149 

young  lady  in  it  with  a  harvest  of  straw- 
colored  hair,  he  soon  confessed,  after  all,  to 
his  disappointments. 

"Kirtley,  you  are  always  a  lucky  dog.  Here 
you  are  with  nice  Dutch  people,  in  the  social 
swim,  absorbing  German  to  beat  the  band. 
All  I  see  is  chambermaids  who  shout  at  me 
some  kind  of  devilish  dialect  that  a  fellow 
can't  understand.  And  my  chambermaid  and 
I  are  just  at  present  at  outs.  I  told  her  this 
morning  she  was  the  tallest  woman  I  ever  saw. 
A  little  of  her  went  such  a  long  ways.  As  she 
don't  know  any  English  words,  that  is  the  only 
thing  we  have  agreed  about.  She  said,  Ja 
wohl!  This  going  to  balls  and  cafes  as  I'm 
doing  is  all  right  for  local  color  and  all  that, 
but  it  would  tickle  dad  a  lot  if  I  knew  a  quiet, 
decent,  respectable  German  family.  And  I 
want  to  know  a  nice,  sober  German  girl  who 
has  got  yellow,  chorus-girl  hair  and  will  steady 
a  fellow  down.  The  proper  study  of  young 
man  is  young  woman.  I  haven't  been  able  to 
meet  any  young  ladies  in  this  country.  Some 
times  I  think  they  have  only  wenches.  And 
I  want  some  of  the  classic  Gayty  and  Schiller 
stuff  too  that  you  can  get  here  in  Loschwitz." 

This  urgent  idea  did  not  appear  auspicious 


150  VILLA  ELSA 

to  Gard.  If  Deming  got  the  run  of  Villa 
Elsa,  he  would  unsettle  things,  interfere  with 
his  own  work.  Jim  was  a  good  boy  but  he 
played  hob  with  study.  And  he  was  just  the 
kind  of  flashy,  ignorant  Yankee  who  would 
prove  to  Villa  Elsa  what  it  claimed  about  the 
race.  He  would  disgust  the  Buchers  with  his 
showy  superficiality  and  dolessness.  Mere 
money,  everlasting  money.  More  than  all  he 
would  complicate  the  situation  with  Fraulein. 
He  might  upset  her  somehow,  and  at  least  dis 
cover  his  own  secret  feelings  toward  her — 
feelings  that  had  become  more  distraught  after 
the  Von  Tielitz  revelation.  In  a  word,  every 
thing  would  be  helter-skelter. 

After  Jim  had  called  twice,  bent  upon  be 
coming  intimate  with  the  Buchers,  Gard,  as 
he  thought,  conceived  a  clever  maneuver.  He 
took  Deming  over  to  call  on  Fraulein  Was- 
serhaus.  Here  was  an  earnest  young  woman, 
lolling  on  the  gate  with  plenty  of  time  on  her 
hands,  dying  for  a  man.  She  could  teach 
Deming  everything  he  wanted  to  know.  She 
was  not  antagonistic  to  Americans  as  were  the 
Buchers.  On  the  contrary  she  was  aching  to 
clasp  some  one  of  them  in  her  pudgy  arms. 

But  this  stratagem  proved  a  flat  failure. 


JIM  DEMING  OF  ERIE,  PAY.          151 

When  they  came  away  from  her  abode,  Jim 
took  on  a  worried  look  and  lit  a  cigarette. 

"Say,  see  here,  old  chap.  Are  you  trying 
to  make  fun  of  me?  Is  this  a  joke?  I  don't 
want  a  walrus,  thirty  years  old,  with  ragbag 
clothes  that  fit  her  a  foot  off.  She  has  a  gait 
like  an  ice  wagon.  Why,  she  couldn't  get  a 
job  as  window-washer  in  the  street  car  shops 
of  Erie,  Pay." 


CHAPTER  XX 

AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY 

DEMING'S  campaign  against  the  terrible 
German  language  was  unable  to  ad 
vance  perceptibly  beyond  the  stage  of  prepa 
rations.  These  were  somewhat  elaborate, 
especially  from  the  standpoint  of  expense.  He 
had  a  multiplicity  of  instructors  and  gram 
mars.  If  they  had  been  placed  side  by  side 
they  might  have  reached  from  the  Green 
Vault  to  the  Zwinger. 

He  blamed  these  agencies  of  instruction. 
His  ^professors"  he  generally  picked  up  at  the 
Stadt  Gotha  where  he  played  billiards.  While 
these  parties  were  fair  with  the  ivories,  they 
could  not  seem  to  knock  any  caroms  of  Ger* 
man  around  the  cushions  of  Jim's  brain. 

His  daily  routine  was  like  this:  At  ten,  his 
lesson  in  Dutch.  Teacher  would  come.  Great 
show  of  hospitality.  There  must  be  something 

152 


AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY  153 

to  drink.  The  preceptor  must  try  one  of  the 
fancy  pipes,  of  which  Deming  had  collected  a 
large  array  in  Germany.  He  would  be  feel 
ing  knocked  in  this  morning,  having  been  up 
late  consuming  numerous  bocks  in  amicable 
emulation  of  the  local  prowess.  He  had  not 
got  around  to  his  lesson  and  had  concluded  he 
did  not  think  much  of  his  present  grammar. 
Herr  Preceptor  would  suggest  procuring 
another  which  would  strew  roses  no  doubt 
along  the  thorny  path.  Capital  idea.  Of 
course  they  must  then  wait  for  the  new 
grammar. 

Adjournment  at  eleven  to  the  cafe  for  bil 
liards.  Deming  was  a  good  wielder  of  the  cue. 
He  said  the  Germans  were  too  be-spectacled 
and  blear-eyed  to  play  well  and  by  three  o'clock 
he  had  usually  won  quite  a  number  of  marks. 
This  was  making  "easy  money."  It  went  to 
ward  paying  for  his  evening's  entertainment 
and  was  good  economy.  His  pleasure  account 
would  not  look  so  large  to  his  governor.  At 
three,  to  his  hotel  for  afternoon  dress.  Even 
ings  it  was  some  other  form  of  diversion. 
Home  at  all  hours. 

This  was  his  day  of  study,  of  which  his  hope 
ful  parents  learned  the  promising  side.  Some- 


154  VILLA  ELSA 

one  advised  him  that  if  he  did  not  try  so  hard 
to  master  German,  it  would  come  easier.  But 
he  experimented  with  this  plan  for  a  week  and 
told  Gard: 

"When  you  don't  bone  over  the  blamed  lan 
guage,  it's  surprising  how  much  you  don't 
know  about  it.  It  still  takes  me  an  hour  and  a 
half  to  hold  a  five  minutes'  conversation." 

In  two  months  he  was  thumbing  page  ten 
of  the  grammar,  but  he  had  seized  upon  a  good 
many  slang  phrases,  supercharged  ejacula 
tions.  Though  the  undercurrent  of  his  dis 
couragement  about  his  progress  was  consider 
able,  it  interfered  little  with  his  acquainting 
him  proficiently  with  the  restaurant  world  of 
Dresden.  He  saw  and  heard  what  was  going 
on  in  those  quarters,  and  through  him  Kirtley 
learned  of  that  phase  of  German  character  and 
habits. 

In  view  of  everything,  there  had  finally 
been  no  decent,  reasonable  way  for  Gard  but 
to  let  Deming,  professedly  zealous  of  knowing 
German  and  seeing  Teuton  home  life,  into  the 
Bucher  circle.  Aware  that  Jim  was  quite  in 
nocent  enough  morally,  Gard  avoided  intro 
ducing  him  to  Von  Tielitz  and  Messer  whose 


AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY  155 

depravities  might  prove  harmful.  But  Dem- 
ing  at  last  met  the  former  at  Loschwitz  and 
the  two  became  friends  just  before  Friedrich 
left  in  quest  of  another  Kapellmeistership. 
The  friction  or  explosion  Card  rather  ex 
pected  between  them  over  Fraulein  did  not 
occur.  While  he  had  dreaded  such  a  happen 
ing  for  Jim's  sake,  it  might  have  cleared  the 
atmosphere  pleasantly  for  his  own.  But 
Friedrich  was  delighted  that  Herr  Deming 
showed  his  old  neighbors,  the  Buchers,  such 
munificent  courtesies,  and  Jim  thought  Von 
Tielitz  the  most  brilliant  chap  he  had  ever 
known. 

Kirtley  waited  with  fear,  with  trembling 
and  also  with  some  hopeful  interest,  for  the 
fireworks  resulting  from  Deming's  induction 
to  Villa  Elsa.  And  they  promptly  began  to 
soar,  for  Jim  had,  in  his  way,  all  the  American 
speed,  and  proceeded  to  overwhelm  the  house 
hold  with  his  attentions.  It  was  a  case  of 
swift  enthusiasm  about  the  whole  family.  Un 
like  Kirtley  he  did  not  care  how  many  of  the 
members  accompanied  the  Fraulein  and  him. 
All  were  welcome.  Though  he  openly  dis 
played  his  fascination  about  the  Fraulein,  it 


156  VILLA  ELSA 

had  none  of  that  tender  sentiment  which  Gard 
was  dissembling  before  his  friend.  Neverthe 
less  it  appeared  to  be  a  violent  case  of  love 
at  first  sight,  and  before  the  first  sight. 

Kirtley  dropped  out  of  the  running.  He 
excused  himself  by  the  necessity  of  burying 
himself  deeper  in  his  books  on  Teuton  origins 
and  traits.  In  a  brief  week  the  Buchers  had 
forgotten  him.  All  was  Herr  Deming — the 
wonderful  Herr  Deming — the  fortunate 
youth  who  was  bringing  the  witchery  of  good 
luck  into  the  drab  home.  It  was  Herr  Dem 
ing  morning,  noon  and  night. 

There  were  theater  parties,  suppers  on 
Briihl  Terrace,  plans  for  the  next  dance.  Jim 
spread  it  on  thick,  and  the  dutiful,  docile  Elsa 
was  swept  along  with  the  rest,  although  with  a 
reserve  in  evocation  as  became  the  modesty  of 
a  maiden  who  was  manifestly  the  pivotal 
center  of  all  this  vertiginous  attraction  and 
activity.  The  Buchers  suddenly  evinced  a 
great  and  favorable  curiosity  about  America. 
Their  attitude  toward  it  was  revolutionized. 
They  plied  Gard  with  questions.  What  was 
living  like  there?  It  must  be  most  desirable. 
Gard  came  across  convenient  hand  books  of 
knowledge,  inconvenient  encyclopedias  and 


AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY  151 

atlases,  lying  here  and  there  in  the  house,  with 
pages  opened  freely  at  the  United  States. 
Frau  Bucher  became  vociferous  in  praise  of 
the  advantages  of  the  Yankee  fashion  of 
courtship  over  the  slow,  economical,  dull,  Ger 
man  process  of  match-making. 

The  household  was  overturned.  Its  affairs 
got  dreadfully  behind.  Mother  was  mightily 
absorbed  in  getting  out  and  fixing  up  impos 
ing  old  dresses,  laces,  wraps,  that  were  heir 
looms  or  dated  from  her  bridal  days  of  a  quar 
ter  of  a  century  before.  Elsa's  lessons  in 
etching  and  her  methodical  hours  for  perfect 
ing  her  manifold  talents,  became  badly  con 
fused. 

The  great  thing  was  driving  at  the  fashion 
able  hour  in  the  Grosse  Garten.  This  was 
what  the  Buchers  had  never  dreamed  of.  In 
the  winter  only  the  royal  and  very  aristocratic 
families  drove  there.  The  common  people, 
who  might  extravagantly  expend  a  few  marks 
to  indulge  in  this  pastime  of  nobility  in  sum 
mer  ,  were  frozen  out  of  it  in  winter.  Hot 
drinks  in  beer  halls  were  then  more  to  their 
taste. 

But  many  an  afternoon  at  four  Deming, 
with  his  two  ladies  overdressed  for  the  occa- 


158  VILLA  ELSA 

sion  in  the  dowdy  German  manner,  occupying 
a  handsome,  heated  limousine  decorated  with  a 
conspicuous  mirror  and  with  Parma  violets 
gently  disengaging  a  delicate  perfume,  fell  in 
right  behind  the  king's  household  if  possible, 
and  toured  the  park  in  stately  measure,  being 
numbered,  no  doubt,  by  the  open-mouthed  be 
holder  on  the  sidewalk,  among  the  social  elect 
in  Saxony. 

Elsa  was  as  good  as  engaged,  as  good  as 
married.  In  her  mother's  eyes,  bloodshot  with 
all  this  glory  of  excitement,  her  daughter  was 
already  dwelling  in  a  palace  in  that  amazing 
city  of  Erie,  in  that  splendid  commonwealth 
of  Pennsylvania,  of  whose  double  fame  she 
had  never  before  heard.  For,  of  course,  Dem- 
ing  sang  constantly  of  the  wonders  of  his 
native  haunts,  where  wealth  flowed  out  of  the 
ground  and  the  trolley  system  was  the  best 
in  the  world. 

Thus  the  Americanization  of  Villa  Elsa  was 
accomplished  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye.  No 
more  did  Gard  hear  of  the  Yankee  pigs.  No 
more  did  he  hear  of  the  disgusting  Yankee  bil 
lions.  Germany  and  America  in  union  would 
form  the  blessed  state  which  would  command 
the  globe,  and  the  two  excelling  peoples,  by 


AN  AMERICAN  VICTORY  159 

intermarrying,  would  produce  a  race  too  far 
ahead  and  above  Frau  Bucher's  hoarse  vocab 
ulary  to  admit  of  much  more  than  her  Ach 
Himmels  and  Ach  Gotts. 


CHAPTER  XXI 
A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OB  PAGAN? 

ONCURRENT  with  all  these  lively  hap- 
penings  Kirtley  had  cultivated  the 
acquaintance  of  Miles  Anderson.  The  two 
became  very  friendly.  Gard  had  been  so 
rudely  treated  by  the  great  German  professor 
in  the  lecture  room  that  he  was  quite  willing 
to  conclude  he  could  learn  from  the  journalist 
far  more  of  what  he  was  interested  in  than 
from  a  Teuton  university  pulpit. 

Anderson,  like  himself,  had  entered  Ger 
many  ignorant  of  the  nation  and  its  folk,  and 
fully  disposed  to  find  almost  everything 
worthy  the  highest  praise.  The  elder's  vivid 
convictions,  his  caustic  reflections,  were  hon 
estly  born  of  what  he  had  seen  and  heard  in 
different  parts  of  the  land,  not  of  what  the 
Germans  said  of  themselves  in  books,  as  was 
the  customary  rule.  By  virtue  of  his  calling 

160 


A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OR  PAGAN?      161 

he  had  superior  opportunities  for  observation. 
He  was  therefore  not  a  negligible  imparter  of 
information. 

Gard  usually  found  him  in  a  high-ceilinged, 
majestic  chamber  in  a  typical  Dresden  pen- 
sion,  frequented,  however,  by  only  three  or 
four  boarders.  It  was  a  little  like  a  home  for 
Anderson,  even  if  gloomily  august  in  the  Ger 
man  style.  Dark  woodwork,  severely  waxed 
floors  on  which  Gard  often  slipped  violently, 
huge  doors,  huge  chairs  and  tables — every 
thing  large  to  suit  the  national  taste  for  big 
Teuton  gods  and  supermen.  Long,  thick 
stuffs  concealed  the  passageways  and  windows 
and  contributed  to  the  absence  of  cheering 
light — that  sign  and  symbol  of  the  Gothic  en 
vironment  and  disposition. 

The  first  question  the  old  man  usually 
plumped  was: 

"How's  your  German  going?" 

"Slowly.  Pegging  along.  I  suppose  it's 
because  I  don't  get  up  much  of  a  liking  for  it. 
There's  something  about  it  that  goes  against 
my  grain." 

And  then  Anderson  would  be  off  for  that 
particular  session.  On  one  early  occasion  he 
had  said,  jestingly: 


162  VILLA  ELSA 

"I  guess  you  will  have  to  fall  back  upon  the 
natural  method." 

"What's  that?"  had  come  back  the  innocent 
interrogatory. 

"Take  a  sweetheart.  She  will  teach  you 
more  useful  German  in  a  month  than  you  can 
learn  from  the  pedagogues  in  a  year.  Right 
here  in  the  best  parts  of  Dresden  are  streets 
where  these  ladies  can  be  rented  with  their 
rooms  per  week  or  per  month  cheap,  with  all 
the  German  you  want  thrown  in.  Are  we  to 
assume  it  is  by  this  system  that  the  German 
universities  are  able  to  turn  out  what  the  world 
believes  are  the  best  students?" 

"I  never  heard  anything  about  that  back 
home,"  confessed  Kirtley,  always  letting  the 
bars  down  to  encourage  a  monologue. 

"Of  course  not.  That  would  be  to  interfere 
with  our  American  readiness  to  admit  German 
transcendence." 

"But  how  do  you  harmonize  the  frank  state 
of  morals  here  with  the  fact  that  the  Germans 
are  the  great  religious  authorities?  How 
have  they  established  such  a  reputation  abroad 
for  the  morality  that  is  assumed  to  go  with 
Protestantism?" 

"That  is  simple  enough.     First,  by  claim- 


A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OR  PAGAN?      163 

ing  that  the  French  are  degenerate.  Sec 
ond,  by  retaining  religion  with  its  morals  as 
an  adjunct  of  an  unmoral  and  authoritative 
militarism.  Religion  is  to  them  a  topic  for 
expert  investigation  and  study  just  as  is  mili 
tarism  or  any  natural  product — oil,  coal,  the 
chemical  elements,  anything.  The  Teuton 
specialist  goes  at  it  as  at  any  objective  science. 
His  analytical  and  synthetic  processes  simply 
explore  in  his  own  subterranean  caverns 
apropos  of  theology.  He  has  taken  over  the 
Bible  as  the  Kaiser  has  taken  over  Jerusalem. 
Wilhelm  is  becoming  the  Cerberus  of  Chris 
tianity — sole  and  surly  guardian  of  its  mean 
ings  and  influence. 

"But  you  never  see  any  men  in  these  Ger 
man  churches,  do  you?  They  don't  go  to 
church.  Nor  the  women  very  much.  You  see 
old  women  and  children  at  worship.  This  is 
because  the  German  has  always  typically  wor 
shipped  Gott  on  the  battlefield  or  in  the  mili 
tary  camps — out  in  the  open.  The  German 
God  is  an  out-of-doors  God  and  is  distinc 
tively  associated  with  the  thought  of  war.  God 
within  walls,  within  a  church,  is  a  deity  of 
good  will  on  earth.  He  is  a  deity  of  peace. 
Naturally  this  does  not  appeal  to  the  Goth. 


164  VILLA  ELSA 

He  don't  pay  much  lively  attention  to  God 
unless  there's  a  war  on  hand  or  in  immediate 
prospect.  Then  he  begins  to  shout  and  'holler' 
at  Him  to  attract  His  attention,  because  He  is 
so  far  off  from  Germany." 

Gard  laughed.  Then,  after  a  moment,  he 
asked,  almost  shyly, 

"If  German  morals  and  religion  have  little 
necessary  relation — little  actual  relation — 
how  about  love?" 

"The  German  would  never  have  known  of 
love  if  he  had  not  heard  it  talked  of,"  replied 
Anderson  with  responsive  geniality,  pleased 
with  Kirtley's  amused  face.  "Generally  an 
excess  of  a  moral  religion  destroys  love,  just 
as  the  absence  of  it  in  the  past  has  been  apt 
to  go  with  an  indecent  and  widespread  sen 
suality.  So  we  have,  what  is  called,  the 
beastliness  in  the  Teuton.  For  he  has  to  go, 
as  you  know,  to  an  extreme  in  things — logical 
extreme.  This  is  why  he  is  only  partly  human, 
from  our  standpoint.  The  human  is  so  con 
structed  that  he  can't  stand  excess  in  any 
direction  very  long  and  remain  human. 
Everything  has  to  be  diluted,  alloyed,  tem 
porized  for  him  or  it  is  not  bearable — it  will 
not  work  successfully. 


A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OR  PAGAN?      165 

"We  see  this  in  medicine — conspicuously. 
Medicines  pure  from  the  hands  of  Mother 
Nature  are  too  strong,  too  rank  in  their 
purity,  to  be  properly  effective.  They  have  to 
be  weakened,  reduced,  compounded  with  in 
ferior  elements,  to  be  of  service.  So  with 
Truth.  People  are  always  begging  for  Truth, 
seeking  the  ultimate  Truth,  as  if  that  would 
bring  the  perfect  state  of  happiness.  This  is 
childlike  ignorance.  Truth  in  its  pure,  perfect 
condition  would  simply  kill  them — like  un 
adulterated  drugs.  They  could  not  stand  its 
blinding  light.  They  could  not  stand  the 
shock.  Like  the  rest — to  change  the  metaphor 
— it  has  to  be  made  up  so  largely  of  shoddy 
to  wear  well  or  wear  at  all. 

"Love,  the  same  way.  When  the  world  talks 
of  love  so  much,  it  means  only  friendliness — 
you  like  me  and  I  like  you — you  do  something 
kind  for  me  and  I  will  do  something  kind  for 
you.  Love  in  its  alloyed  form  of  friendship 
is  its  efficacious  shape  for  universal  use.  Pure 
love,  which  poor  humanity  is  always  reaching 
out  its  hands  for,  simply — as  George  Sand 
said — simply  tears  people  to  pieces  without 
doing  them  any  good.  The  result  is  tragedy, 
despair,  wrecked  lives,  death  before  one's  time. 


166  VILLA  ELSA 

We  see  tHat  everywhere  depicted  in  fiction,  in 
the  drama,  at  the  opera. 

"So  the  German  has  kept  love  in  a  practical 
state — for  him — by  associating  it  so  promi 
nently  with  his  procreative  capacities.  It  is  a 
case  of  Mars  and  Venus  producing  fighting 


men." 


"If  the  German  is  not  governed  by  love  as 
an  ideal,"  put  in  Gard,  "how  is  it  then  that 
he  is  so  sentimental?  People  always  assure  us 
that  Fritz  must  be  really  at  bottom  as  affec 
tionate,  tender,  emotional,  as  anyone  because 
he  is  so  sentimental." 

"Yes,  that's  the  old  conundrum  that  the  en 
thusiasts  over  everything  German  confuse  one 
with.  The  German's  fondness — gobbling- 
down  fondness — for  food  does  not  prove  that 
he  is  a  gourmet.  The  Teuton  sentimentality 
is  like  mush.  It's  principally  for  children.  As 
Fritz  keeps  a  good  deal  of  his  childishness 
about  him  as  he  grows  up,  he  keeps  this  taste 
for  mush.  It  takes  the  place  of  sentiment 
which  is  of  the  proper  mental  pabulum  for 
enlightened  adults.  You  can't  write  poetry 
about  mush.  So  the  Germans  have  little 
poetry  worth  talking  about.  Where  their 
emotional  side  ought  to  be,  they  are  slightly 


A  PEOPLE  PECULIAR  OR  PAGAN?      167 

developed  beyond  the  youthful  stage  of  sen- 
timenialism.  Their  abortive  conception  of 
love,  their  treatment  of  their  women  and  chil 
dren — other  things — all  account  for  this  natu 
rally  enough.  One  is  rather  forced,  in  spite 
of  himself,  to  take  the  Germans  at  either  of 
two  extremes  in  order  to  understand  them  can 
didly — mushiness  or  iron,5* 


CHAPTER  XXII 

MAKING  FOB  WAE 

A  NDERSON  did  not  care  for  the  Buchers 
-L\.  and  only  came  two  or  three  times  to 
Villa  Elsa.  So  Card  did  the  calling.  The 
elder  would  invariably  bring  out  from  his  table 
drawer  his  "bachelor's  bride"  in  the  form  of  a 
box  of  clear  Havanas,  and  the  "lecture"  would 
begin  again  before,  what  he  said,  was  the  most 
select  audience  in  Deutschland. 

"Have  you  heard  anything  from  your  spy?" 
he  queried  one  day. 

"No.  You  don't  seriously  mean  that  Ru 
dolph — you  assume  it's  Rudolph — is  watching 
me?"  returned  Kirtley,  a  little  disturbed  over 
the  recurrence  to  this  subject.  "What  am  I 
guilty  of?  I'm  as  innocent  as  an  unborn 
lamb." 

"Certainly  you  are.  But,  my  dear  boy, 
what's  innocence  in  Germany?  The  Secret 
Police  can  make  an  alien  like  you  a  lot  of 

1G8 


MAKING  FOR  WAR  169 

trouble  about  nothing.  You  wouldn't  believe 
how  systematic  they  are,  and  serious  as  stuffed 
owls.  Take  my  advice  and  don't  do  things  at 
too  loose  ends  as  we  are  apt  to  over  home.  But 
if  you  do  get  into  trouble,  come  to  me  and  I 
will  tell  you  what  to  say. 

"Sometimes  they  even  have  one  spy  spying 
on  another  in  the  home.  Of  course  the  spy 
system,  like  the  army  and  navy,  belongs  to  the 
Kaiser.  All  the  people  have  to  do  is  to  fur 
nish  the  men  and  the  money.  It's  as  Heine 
said,  the  royal  palaces  and  so  forth  are  owned 
by  the  princes,  but  the  debts  owing  for  them 
are  assumed  by  the  public.  The  Hohenzol- 
lerns  have  the  property,  the  Germans  have  the 
obligations. 

"You  see,  the  spy  system  tends  to  prevent 
the  Teuton  from  talking  politics.  But  he  can 
theorize  concerning  the  State.  The  State  is 
an  active  philosophic  concept  that  holds  off  the 
people  from  discussing  and  gossiping  about 
Wilhelm.  It  does  not  exist  apart  from  the 
ruling  family  and  apart  from  the  bureaucracy 
which  is  the  ruling  family  in  action.  It  takes 
on  their  character.  The  State  is  a  mirage 
which  the  citizen  is  made  to  gawk  at  in  the 
air,  thinking  he  sees  something  besides  the 


170  VILLA  ELSA 

frowning  German  sky.  It  surrounds  the  Em 
peror  with  the  divine  halo,  removes  him  up 
above  the  rumbling  clouds  where  the  distant 
views  lend  enchantment." 

There  hung  about  Anderson's  talk  to-day, 
as  so  frequently,  a  certain  sententious  and 
acidulous  manner  that,  to  Gard,  evidenced 
twinges  of  rheumatism. 

The  dialogue  fell  once  more  on  war.  After 
the  demonstration  in  Villa  Elsa  against  Amer 
ica,  Anderson  was  gratified  by  this  proof  of 
his  contentions.  While  Kirtley  admitted  the 
force  in  the  argument  that  this  excited  and 
confident  condition  of  feeling  among  the  com 
mon  German  people  pointed  toward  hostili 
ties,  he  could  not  really  believe  that  such  a 
horror  would  break  forth  upon  Europe.  There 
was  the  Hague  Convention — 

"Pooh!"  exclaimed  Anderson.  "What  does 
the  Hague  Convention  signify  in  face  of  the 
growing  armaments?  What  have  you  ever 
seen  in  Prussian  history  to  show  that  Prussia 
would  stop  for  any  agreement  when  she  was 
sure  of  winning?" 

"You  expect  war  soon,"  said  Gard.  "Why 
soon?  Granted  the  Germans  want  war  to 
carry  out  their  world  plans,  why  should  it 


MAKING  FOR  WAR  171 

come  before  another  generation,  for  in 
stance?" 

"Because  the  Kaiser  is  getting  along  in 
years.  Time  does  not  wait  even  for  him.  Alex 
ander,  Csesar,  Napoleon  were  young  in  com 
parison.  So  he  is  talking  a  lot  about  God 
now  and  that  means  war.  He  wants  to  enjoy 
ruling  Europe  awhile  before  he  dies.  He  does 
not  get  on  with  the  Crown  Prince  and  is  not 
greatly  interested  in  leaving  all  such  glory  for 
him  to  sport  about  in.  Soon  Wilhelm  the 
Deuce  will  be  too  old  to  take  part  in  a  mili 
tary  campaign.  He  has  not  many  years  to 
live  at  his  age.  He  is  not  a  well  man.  The 
longer  he  puts  it  off,  the  shorter  will  be  the 
triumph  he  craves." 

The  talk  shifted  angles  and  Anderson  was 
saying  after  awhile: 

"When  you  have  the  German  statesmen, 
generals,  magnates,  press,  professors,  theolo 
gians,  everybody,  insisting  on  the  incompar 
able  virtues  of  the  Germans  and  never  on  their 
failings — on  their  rights  and  privileges  and 
never  on  their  duties  to  humanity — do  you 
wonder  that  the  plain  people,  like  your 
Buchers,  think  it  devolves  upon  them  to  turn 
foreign  lands  into  waste  by  the  sword  in  order 


VILLA  ELSA 

to  convert  them  into  German  countries?  It 
is  hard  to  find  in  any  German  publication  a 
frank  and  commending  acknowledgment  that 
a  foreigner  has  really  completed  anything  to 
his  credit.  If  such  evidence  is  too  strong  in 
any  case  and  forces  an  admission,  the  foreign 
inventor  or  discoverer  is  rather  made  to  ap 
pear  presumptuous  in  acting  before  some  Ger 
man  got  around  to  it.  The  Teutons  never 
think,  talk  and  write  in  terms  of  humanity — 
only  in  terms  of  Germanity.  Do  you  not 
begin  to  see  that  the  Teutons  are,  in  intent,  as 
murderously  fanatical  about  their  greatness  as 
the  mad  Mullah  and  his  followers  were  about 
their  bigotry?  The  Germans  have  been  edu 
cated  to  these  views  since  childhood.  .  .  . 

"You  tell  me  that  Charlemagne  took  on 
Christian  religion  as  a  prop  to,  an  ally  of,  his 
military  power — an  aid  to  the  extension  of  his 
rule.  Well,  then,  the  Teutons  have  turned 
what  they  call  their  Christianity  into  a  warlike 
worship  of  themselves.  Their  preachers  must 
stand  in  with  the  Kaiser.  He  is  to  them  God 
on  earth.  It  is  the  old  story  of  the  throne 
upheld  by  the  official  church." 

"But  how  about  all  Catholic  Germany?" 
parried  Gard.  "About  one-third  is  Catholic." 


MAKING  FOR  WAR  173 

"True,  true.  Yet  from  what  I've  seen,  the 
German  Catholics  will  be  found  fighting  for 
the  Protestants  when  war  comes,  just  as  the 
Socialists  will  be  found  fighting  for  the  Em 
peror.  This  is  because  the  feeling  for  race  and 
nation  is  far  stronger  than  for  creed  or  doc 
trine.  If  the  Kaiser  succeeds  in  getting  con 
trol  of  Europe,  he  will  take  to  himself  the 
spiritual  and  religious  headship  of  the  world 
and  the  Pope  will  become  essentially  his  vas 
sal,  for  the  Pope  will  be  impotent  as  against 
the  victorious  sword.  Hasn't  Wilhelm  already 
assumed  to  be  the  head  of  Mohammedanism? 

"And  look  at  it.  South  Germany,  which  is 
Catholic,  and  Saxony  here,  are  cramped  up  in 
the  interior.  Their  manufacturing  interests 
are  increasing  by  leaps  and  bounds.  Isn't  it 
natural  they  should  want  a  direct  outlet  to  the 
Atlantic  and  Mediterranean?  Wouldn't  these 
Saxons  be  proud  to  have  a  piece  of  real  ocean 
shore  to  use  as  their  own? 

"Another  thing.  As  the  Germans  are 
brutal  among  themselves,  I  predict  that, 
stirred  up  as  they  are,  they  will  be  brutal  like 
Huns  in  this  war.  You  see  how  they  deal  with 
their  own  women.  Imagine  what  they  will  do 
to  foreign  women.  How  do  you  yourself  think 


174  VILLA  ELSA 

your  young  military  Bucher  would  act  to 
ward  Americans  if  he  landed  on  our  coast  with 
a  gun?  The  German  will  be  like  a  Hun  just 
as  he  was  in  the  treacherous  days  of  Ariovistus 
and  Arminius — the  Teutoberger  forest  and  all 
that  over  again.  He  will  red-handedly  rebuff 
civilizing  influences  just  as  he  did  in  those 
days." 

"How  do  you  define  Hun?"  asked  Gard. 
"The  Germans  are  not  Huns  by  race." 

"No.  I  said  like  Huns.  I  mean  by  Huns 
a  people  who  insist  on  their  tribal  sovereign 
right  of  conquest  by  means  of  ruthless  murder 
and  senseless  destruction — wiping  out  foreign 
races  and  property." 

One  evening  the  conversation  drifted  to  this 
theme : 

"Is  Luther — Protestantism — one  of  the 
reasons  why  Protestant  America  is  so  fav 
orably  inclined  to  Germany?"  suggested 
Kirtley. 

"Americans  would  be  surprised  to  find  there 
is  no  such  thing  as  Lutheranism  here.  A 
bumptious  military  cult  has  usurped  its  place. 
There  are  no  Lutherans  in  Deutschland-— 
only  Evangelicals  and  Dissidents.  And  of 
course  Catholics.  If  you  ask  an  ordinary  Teu- 


MAKING  FOR  WAR  175 

ton  what  Protestantism  is,  he  will  scarcely 
know  what  you  mean  precisely.  American 
Protestantism  and  German  Protestantism  are 
radically  unlike.  The  one  is  peaceful  and 
trustful,  the  other  is  warlike  and  knavish. 

"And  it  seems  to  me  so  plain  that,  besides 
our  religionists,  our  American  education  is 
playing  in  with  the  Kaiser's  plans.  It  tends 
to  weaken  faith  in  our  government.  It  makes 
unpatriotic  citizens.  Our  colleges  turn  out 
young  men  who  feel  no  political  duties.  We 
teach  them  to  look  for  benefits  without  respon 
sibilities.  How  different  with  the  German 
universities!  Our  school  histories,  too,  nurse 
active  hatred  of  England,  and  everywhere  with 
us  the  main  opinion  about  the  French  is  fos 
tered  that  they  are  immoral  and  therefore  to 
be  despised.  All  this  works  in  with  the  ad 
vancement  of  German  popularity  and  inter 
ests,  while  at  the  same  time  our  young  men, 
like  you,  are  sent  here  to  study.  Only  the  best 
in  Germany  is  diligently  kept  before  our  peo 
ple.  The  worst  is  never  known  as  you  and  I 
are  learning  to  know  it  over  here." 

"So  you  think,"  said  Gard  companionably, 
"that  the  Kaiser  will  set  his  fiery  ball  rolling 
this  spring." 


176  VILLA  ELSA 

"I  put  the  date  at  March  first."  The  old 
man's  hands  trembled  as  he  relighted  his 
cigar  stub.  His  voice  almost  broke. 

"I  know  they  think  I'm  getting  in  my  dot 
age — brain  a  little  cracked — and  all  that.  I'm 
a  poor  chap  possessed  of  a  foolish  and  wicked 
delusion.  Mean  well,  but  head  rickety.  Some 
times  I  really  think  I  must  be  crazy,  with  all 
the  world  against  me  about  the  German  dan 
ger.  They  call  me  Jeremiah  and  Mother 
Goose  rolled  into  one.  But,  by  God,  Kirtley, 
as  my  soul's  immortal,  I  tell  you  I'm  right — 
I'm  right!  The  deluge  is  just  ahead! — and 
nothing  being  done  to  prevent  it."  He 
shouted  the  words  till  Gard  almost  shook. 

Every  time  he  left  Anderson,  he  would 
settle  back  into  the  lulling  arms  of  false  se 
curity,  but  always  a  little  less  assured.  How 
could  the  old  newspaper  man  be  correct  and 
the  rest  of  mankind  be  in  error?  He  used  the 
stock  arguments  with  himself.  Granted  that 
the  obese  Germans  about  him  on  the  tram 
trundling  along  toward  Loschwitz  were  talk 
ing  war  and  preparing  for  war.  They  had 
been  doing  so  for  forty-three  years  and  no 
conflict  had  come.  Immense  populations  of 
peace  and  unpreparedness  were  growing  up 


MAKING  FOR  WAR  177 

who  would  discourage  a  world  war — would 
not  permit  it.  There  were  increasing  millions 
of  people  who  had  never  seen  a  soldier,  never 
seen  a  battleship.  Would  they  want  to  pay 
the  cost  in  blood  and  billions  of  treasure?  It 
was  unthinkable. 

And  so  everyone  was  floating  on  with  these 
comfortable  convictions — floating  on  toward 
the  imminent  cataclysm,  smiling  pityingly  on 
the  few  lugubrious  Andersons  who  were  right. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE 

BALLS  and  dancing  are  a  notable  expres 
sion  of  life  and  character  in  Germany. 
The  Teuton  has  a  passion  for  them.  In  what 
country  are  they  so  institutional?  The  Ger 
man  dance  music  is  on  the  whole  by  far  the 
best  any  land  has  composed.  The  waltzes  are 
fine  productions  of  the  race.  They  are  not 
enemic,  lascivious  or  empty  of  meaning.  They 
are  noble,  wholesome  and  full-throbbing  with 
the  pounding  blood  of  men  and  women. 

German  balls  are  most  varied  in  kind, 
responding  to  the  complete  scale  of  existence 
from  high  to  low.  However  dowdy,  rigid, 
ungainly  or  sensual  they  may  be,  their  music 
is  nearly  always  elevating  or  at  least  of  merit 
because  it  is  written  by  thoroughly  trained 
composers  of  whom  Germany  has  a  full  com 
plement.  One  of  the  dreams  of  any  American 
woman  in  Europe  has  been  to  dance  with  a 

178 


SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE  179 

German  officer  who,  in  his  handsome,  well- 
fitting  uniform  setting  off  his  commanding 
proportions  and  guarded  forcefully  by  his 
clattering  sword  and  jingling  spurs,  appealed 
to  those  instincts  for  knightliness  and  chivalric 
appearance  which  excite  the  feminine  nature. 

Nevertheless  the  general  unloveliness  of  the 
social  disposition  and  activities  of  the  Teutons 
is  normally  reflected  in  their  balls,  and  is  in 
creased  by  their  tremendous  and  perspiring 
energies  in  this  diversion  where  usually  per 
vades  an  atmosphere  thick  with  the  odors  of 
beer,  sausage,  cheese. 

The  Royal  Court  Ball  opened  the  fashion 
able  season  every  winter  in  Dresden  as  proper 
in  an  orthodox  monarchy.  It  was  Kirtley's 
one  opportunity  to  view  German  royalty,  in 
its  intimacy  of  pumps  and  low  necks,  at  a  cere 
monious  function  in  a  whirl  of  music  and  the 
dance.  Naturally  he  wanted  to  be  present  with 
Elsa  who  was,  of  course,  competent  in  the  art 
of  Terpsichore.  To  say  the  least  she  was  the 
only  young  lady  he  knew  well  in  Saxony,  and 
to  have  her  hair  of  ripe  corn  color  dancing  in 
its  luxuriance  before  his  eyes  to  the  inspir 
ing  melodies  of  the  opera  bands  would  be 
something  to  thrill  him  and  his  memories  after- 


180  VILLA  ELSA 

ward.  He  would  take  a  box  and  somehow 
manage  to  moor  Frau  Bucher  in  its  depths. 

His  hopes  had  sprung  up  about  it  for, 
luckily,  Von  Tielitz  had  gone  away  and  Jim, 
who  had  put  the  family  in  such  a  state  of  in 
toxication,  was  to  be  in  Prague  and  Warsaw 
for  a  month.  It  would  be  a  chance  for  the 
obscured  Card  to  emerge  into  the  light  and  see 
how  Elsa  was  really  affected  by  the  Deming 
glamor.  Of  all  her  booby  family  she  had  com 
ported  herself  so  far  with  a  dutiful  steadiness 
in  face  of  his  dizzying  coup  de  main.  As  for 
Von  Tielitz  and  a  respectable  young  woman — 
how  could  there  be  anything  serious  ahead? 

During  Jim's  trip  Fraulein  plunged  into 
her  etching  to  make  up  for  absences. 
But  Card  was  pleased  over  the  renewal  of 
their  piano  duos  which  had  been  abandoned 
after  Deming's  arrival.  She  very  loyally 
found  a  little  time  for  this  distraction,  and  so, 
as  before,  they  played  through  earnest  stuff 
and  tasseled  it  off  with  lighter  emotions  in  the 
form  of  "Heart  and  Hand,"  "Love's 
Dreams,"  "Affection  True" — good  things 
with  which  to  court  a  musical  girl.  Her  cor 
diality  suddenly  took  on  a  frank  warmness, 
as  if  she  had  come  back  to  an  old  friend.  He 


SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE  181 

saw  that  she  felt  more  at  home  with  him. 
Wasn't  she  at  last  becoming  like  a  "pal"  ?  Yet 
sometimes  the  doubtful  impression  assailed 
him  that  she  was  merely  acting  in  a  sort  of 
gratefulness  for  his  having  brought  the  stylish 
and  princely  James  Alexander  Deming  of 
Erie,  Pay,  to  Villa  Elsa. 

Gard  was  quite  happy  when  his  invitation 
to  the  ball  was  accepted.  Both  mother  and 
daughter  were  most  glad  to  go.  He  pro 
cured  the  box  and  Frau  Bucher,  steeped  in 
the  practices  of  economy  and  judging  that  his 
means  were  modest,  pooh-pooed  with  material 
kindness  at  his  idea  of  an  expensive  motor 
car.  He  insisted  on  compromising  by  order 
ing  one  at  five  in  the  morning  for  the  return. 
It  would  be  an  event  and  he  wished  to  carry 
it  off  quite  grandly  for  Elsa's  sake.  She  had 
never  attended  the  Court  Ball,  it  turned  out, 
and,  like  all  maidens  of  Saxony,  had  always 
longed  to  go. 

Accordingly  due  preparations  were  started 
by  her  mother  and  by  her  in  what  had  served, 
since  Deming's  arrival,  as  a  kind  of  bou 
doir.  The  gala  affair  was  talked  over  with 
the  usual  noisiness  in  the  family.  Anything 
that  had  to  do  with  the  King's  household  was 


182  VILLA  ELSA 

wonderful.  The  neighbors  were  exultantly 
apprised.  Certainly  the  Buchers  were  nowa 
days  cutting  a  high  figure — they  to  whom 
such  costly  festivities  had  been  unknown.  No 
one  had  ever  associated  Villa  Elsa  with  the 
wand  of  prodigality,  and  its  vulgar  Americans 
were  dumfounding. 

But,  four  days  before  the  ball,  Frau  Bucher, 
in  a  constant  condition  of  agitation  in  her 
social  upheaval,  announced  to  Gard  that  she 
and  Fraulein  could  not  accompany  him  be 
cause  a  telegram  had  been  received  from 
Friedrich.  His  sister  at  Meissen  was  coming 
for  the  occasion  and  he  took  it  for  granted  that 
the  Buchers  would  complete  his  company.  Of 
course  Friedrich  and  his  sister  could  not  be 
disappointed.  They  were  old  friends — really 
a  part  of  the  family.  Gard,  greatly  disap 
pointed,  reclaimed  his  money  for  the  box  and 
countermanded  the  order  for  the  motor.  It 
was  provoking,  yet  such  things  very  reason 
ably  happened. 

The  next  morning  another  telegram  from 
the  always  excited  Von  Tielitz.  Plans  were 
changed.  Sister  did  not  think  she  would  be 
able  to  leave.  Frau  Bucher  would  much  like 
to  go  with  Gard.  Elsa  was  so  anxious  to 


SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE  183 

dance  at  Court.  It  would  be  too  bad  to  dash 
her  anticipations  to  the  ground.  Gard  spent 
the  day  renewing  the  arrangements.  It  was 
a  pleasure  to  do  so. 

That  evening  a  note  couched  in  the  spacious 
terms  of  formality  was  handed  in  at  his  door 
by  Tekla.  Frau  Bucher  was  extremely  sorry, 
but  Friedrich  and  his  sister  had  found  +hey 
could  come  and  were  making  all  preparations. 
Herr  Kirtley's  invitation  must  be  declined 
again. 

Beginning  to  be  put  out,  he  found  that  his 
box  could  not  now  be  returned.  And  he  had 
no  one  to  go  with.  It  would  be  stupid  to  be 
there  without  even  an  acquaintance.  At  last 
he  thought  of  Anderson.  The  latter  an 
nounced  his  satisfaction  at  the  prospect  of 
"seeing  the  Germans  jump  around."  Gard's 
dancing  was  cut  off,  which  was  disappointing 
enough,  yet  he  could  at  least  see  the  spectacle. 

The  following  morning,  the  day  before  the 
event,  another  wire,  and  another  cramped,  stiff 
note  through  the  diplomatic  channels  of  the 
kitchen  reached  the  attic.  More  regrets,  but 
the  Von  Tielitzes  were  unable  to  carry  out 
their  plan.  Would  not  Herr  Kirtley  kindly 
renew  his  invitation?  This  stately  despatch- 


184  VILLA  ELSA 

ing  of  communications,  as  with  a  foreign 
power,  went  on  side  by  side  of  and  unsepa- 
rated  from  the  usual  daily  informal  inter 
course  of  the  family. 

Card's  good  nature  wrestled  with  his  bal 
anced  equilibrium  and  overcame  it  along  the 
lines  of  gallant  generosity.  It  would  be  a  pity 
to  deprive  the  ladies  of  what  they  had  looked 
forward  to,  although  his  own  expectations 
were  already  marred.  He  would  bemean  him 
self  sufficiently  to  overlook  Frau's  caddishness. 
He  went  in  town  to  see  if  the  change  would 
suit  his  invited  friend.  Anderson  bravely  rose 
to  the  occasion  and  accepted  silently  the  duty 
of  having  to  tour  the  ball  room  now  and  then 
with  his  arm  despairingly  clasping  the  rotun 
dity  of  mother  Bucher. 

When  Gard  got  back  to  Villa  Elsa,  another 
stilted  letter  with  a  new  programme  was 
awaiting  him.  It  had  developed  that  the  Von 
Tielitzes  could  come,  though  the  sister  was 
slightly  indisposed.  It  would  be  nice  for  all 
to  form  a  party,  and  Frau  Bucher  would  be 
so  pleased  if  Herr  Kirtley  would  have  them 
joined  in.  But  transportation  to  and  fro  must 
be  provided  because  of  the  sister.  He  had  so 
kindly,  at  first,  spoken  of  a  motor. 


SOCIAL  ETIQUETTE  185 

As  Friedrich  had  admittedly  no  money, 
Gard  saw  that  this  was  a  project — likely  on 
the  part  of  both — to  saddle  him  with  the  whole 
expense.  The  clumsy  maneuvering  had  got 
down  to  bargaining.  He  was  mad.  He  sent 
the  scullery  courier  back  definitely  withdraw 
ing  all  arrangements.  The  pleasure  of  his  in 
vited  guest  could  not  be  complicated.  Re 
sult,  the  Von  Tielitzes  did  not  appear,  mother 
and  daughter  Bucher  remained  at  home,  and 
Kirtley  went  with  Anderson. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

THE  COURT  BALL 

THE  two  sat  the  night  out  in  the  box.  The 
reader  is  familiar  with  Thackeray's 
amusing  references  to  the  stuffy  German 
Court  balls.  After  his  day  and  under  the  sway 
of  the  Empire,  they  had  broadened  and  aired 
out  somewhat  in  their  automaton  grandeurs. 

Precisely  at  nine  o'clock  the  Saxon  Court 
entered,  so  far  as  possible  in  battle  array,  and 
unlimbered  to  a  slight  extent  before  their  re 
vering  subjects.  No  one  knew  of  anything 
this  Royal  family  had  ever  said,  commented 
Anderson.  None  of  them  had  done  anything 
original  or  brilliant  except  Louise,  who  had 
run  off  with  the  tutor.  She  could  not  stand 
the  dullness  here  any  longer.  And  the  mem 
bers  of  this  Court  represented  civilization 
raised  to  the  famous  nih  power ! 

How  commonplace,  uninspiring,  they  did 
look  to  Kirtley!  As  Germans  can  illy  take  on 

186 


THE  COURT  BALL  187 

polish  he  thought  he  only  beheld  Rudolphs 
and  Teklas  jammed  into  court  dress.  The  dis 
enchantment  of  a  medieval  dynasty  at  near 
view ! 

After  the  midnight  supper  Anderson,  re 
freshed,  told  of  an  illuminating  book  he  might 
write  on  Germany  with  journalistic  brevity 
and  conciseness.  It  would  run  something  like 
this: 

Chapter  on  Gentlemen  and  Ladies. 
There  are  few  gentlemen  and  ladies  in  Germany. 

Chapter  on  Manners. 
There  are  no  manners  in  Germany.     Only  orders  and 

servility. 
Chapter  on  Charm  and  Delicacy. 

No  specimens  to  be  found. 

Chapter  on  the  Milk  of  Human  Kindness. 

There  is  no  milk  of  human  kindness  in  Germany. 

Chapter  on  the  Absence  of  Arrogance. 
There  is  no  absence  of  arrogance  in  Germany. 

And  so  forth.  What  did  Kirtley  think  of  it? 

The  journalist  jestingly  identified  the 
dignitaries,  the  men  about  town,  the  titled 
ladies  about  whose  bulbous  red  shoulders 
often  hung  scandal,  and  retailed  other  gossip 
from  his  neAvspaper  files.  The  scene  indeed 
scintillated  with  lights  and  diamonds  and 


188  VILLA  ELSA 

crystal.  Two  orchestras  answered  each  other 
in  a  continuous  strain  of  conquering  music. 
Swords  and  spurs  clanked  and  clattered 
through  the  riotous  German  dances,  adding 
their  martial  clangor  to  the  regal  sounds. 
Trains  were  stepped  on,  dresses  torn.  The  re 
tiring  rooms  were  often  sought  for  repairs. 
Now  and  again  commotion  was  caused  by 
some  heavy  person  tripping  on  her  skirts 
and  crashing  to  the  floor.  It  was  Triumphant 
Germany  celebrating  her  undisputed  position 
and  pride — celebrating  her  mastery  of  the 
universe. 

Gard  really  longed  at  moments  to  be  ac 
tively  throbbing  with  it  all,  circling  in  the 
throng,  and  holding  Elsa  with  her  blond  flores 
cence  in  his  arms.  Then  a  certain  contentment 
would  possess  him  as  he  pictured  her  mother 
forced  to  stay  home  with  blighted  hankerings. 
What  a  ridiculous  appearance  he  would  have 
presented  towing  her  around  here  in  a  waltz 
before  all  these  florid  and  grandiose  figures  of 
-state! 

Kirtley's  disposition  was  somewhat  slow- 
going,  sure-footed.  He  had  a  gentle  or  quiet 
conservative  tenacity  that  so  often  comes  with 


THE  COURT  BALL  189 

the  inheritance  of  a  moderate  income.  It  at 
least  gave  him  time  to  look  things  deliberately 
in  the  face. 

He  had  at  first  discounted  heavily  his  old 
friend's  pyrotechnic,  cynical  bill  of  complaints 
against  the  Teutons  and  Teutonism.  It  was 
diverting,  salient,  but  therefore  discouraging 
to  credence.  Such  judgments  were  apt  to  be 
flashes  in  the  pan.  They  startled  but  lacked 
rootage.  Card  had  not  sufficiently  taken  into 
consideration  that  the  journalist  was  speaking 
at  the  end  of  seven  years  in  Germany  instead 
of  at  the  ^beginning.  When  one  arrives  in 
a  country,  extreme  snap-shot  impressions 
readily  flare  forth  in  the  mind. 

Yet  the  more  Kirtley  saw,  the  more  did  he 
turn  toward  the  same  divorced  mental  atti 
tude.  He  realized  how  truly  the  typical  Villa 
Elsa,  though  in  quite  a  different  key,  justified 
Anderson's  conclusions.  The  performance 
Frau  Bucher  had  gone  through  verified  an 
other  variant  in  racial  traits — a  variant  which 
Anderson  had  stressed. 

Namely,  one  must  be  forcible,  even  harsh, 
with  a  German.  He  does  not  respond  satis 
factorily  to  kindness,  leniency,  liberality.  Lit 
tle  sunny  courtesies,  unselfishnesses,  genial  en- 


190  VILLA  ELSA 

deavors,  do  not  characteristically  illuminate 
the  tenebrous  interior  of  his  consciousness.  He 
misinterprets  them  as  feeblenesses,  as  confes 
sions  of  his  dominating  rights  and  privileges. 
The  more  one  grants  to  him,  the  more  one 
yields  to  him,  the  more  advantage  and  aggres 
sive  advantage  he  assumes  he  is  invited  to  take. 
To  go  out  of  one's  way  to  be  obliging,  to  at 
tempt  to  ingratiate  one's  self,  brings  diffi 
culties. 

But  stout  decision,  sternness,  defiant  ulti 
matums,  win  out  with  him.  As  long  as  Gard 
had  tried  to  make  himself  agreeable  in  the 
affair  of  the  Court  ball,  his  efforts  were  mis 
understood  and  he  became  a  handball  buffeted 
about  for  the  superior  convenience  of  others. 
As  soon  as  he  finally  stiffened  up  and  men 
tally  told  them  to  go  to  perdition,  the  ingrow 
ing  troubles  ceased  with  disciplined  prompt 
ness.  A  satisfactory  relation  resulted,  and  a 
hearty  respect  for  him  in  the  household,  he 
recognized,  was  measureably  and  contentedly 
increased. 

It  was  a  little  different  phase  of  the  old 
pagan  German  tribal  habit  of  considering  the 
outsider  as  one  from  whom  all  should  be  got 
that  was  possible,  irrespective  of  return  in 


THE  COURT  BALL  191 

kind  or  a  decent  proportion  of  benefits.  To 
bear  in  hard,  to  gouge,  are  toward  the  foreigner 
procedures  relied  on  by  the  Teuton  nature 
as  appropriate.  In  it  there  is  to  be  found 
little  mutuality  or  respectfulness  of  feeling 
that  curbs,  not  to  speak  of  the  social  spirit 
that  restrains  or  breeds  a  fine  dignity  of  self. 
A  show  of  weakness  in  any  form,  however 
ideal  or  beautiful,  makes  small  appeal.  So 
far  as  any  other  "tribe"  is  concerned,  life  to  the 
German  is  at  base  a  knock-down  argument. 
Misfortunes  in  an  alien  land  do  not  awaken 
sympathy.  They  are  rather  to  be  regarded  as 
windfalls,  as  a  result  of  which  a  profit  is  to  be 
grabbed  or  a  steely  hand  of  control  inserted 
where  it  does  not  belong. 


CHAPTER  XXV 

FRITZI  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION 

WHEN  Jim  Deming  returned  he  re 
sumed  sway  over  Villa  Elsa,  though 
with  less  vehemence.  The  Buchers  fell 
promptly  again  under  his  spell,  the  duos  were 
dropped,  and  Gard  retired  into  the  attic  for 
study,  varying  its  monotony  with  sojourns  in 
town  to  familiarize  himself  with  the  personal 
peculiarities  of  the  German  multitude. 

During  the  long  break-up  of  winter,  when 
the  Teuton  skies  were  leaden,  and  it  was 
neither  cold  enough  nor  hot  enough  to  stay 
comfortably  in  his  room,  owing  to  the  Bucher 
economy  of  heat  in  this  mid-season,  it  was 
pleasanter  to  be  stirring  about  en  ville,  and, 
when  weary  of  this,  seeking  the  agreeable  cosi 
ness  of  the  cafes  with  their  warmth  of  cooking 
and  beverages  that  thawed  one  out.  He 
usually  lunched  in  some  one  of  these  well- 

192 


FRITZIE  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION  193 

known  resorts  where  he  became  acquainted 
with  the  personnel  and  frequenters.  It  was 
Deming  who  introduced  him  to  the  inn  where 
Fritzi  served,  whom  Von  Tielitz  and  Messer 
had  urged  upon  Card's  attentions.  Jim  had 
learned  of  it  through  the  former. 

Imagine  the  tiniest  of  restaurants.  It  was 
scarcely  large  enough  for  six  small  tables.  The 
miniature  kitchen  immediately  adjoined  this 
dining  nook,  so  that  these  two  rooms  were  in 
effect  one.  When  the  two  young  Americans 
first  went  there  together,  a  very  comely  girl 
sat  cutting  colored  papers  into  fantastic 
shapes  with  the  apparent  intention  of  having 
more  floral  decorations.  For  huge  artificial 
bouquets  decked  the  boards.  The  place  was 
freshly  painted  and  engagingly  clean.  The 
very  low  walls  were  covered  with  queer  mot 
toes  in  grotesque  Gothic  script,  with  Meissen 
wares,  Vienna  glass,  and  also  misshapen  od 
dities  that  always  interest  the  puerile  part  of 
mature  German  nature. 

There  was  a  bust  of  the  Emperor  covered 
with  ivy  and  flower  concoctions  in  card 
board.  The  coat  of  arms  of  Saxony  embel 
lished  the  ceiling  which  one  could  almost  touch 
with  the  upraised  hand.  A  cat  and  a  dog  were 


194  VILLA  ELSA 

taking  their  noon-day  nap.  Sausages  and 
cake  in  the  form  of  the  ever-popular  Leb- 
kuchen  were  made  a  specialty  of  here,  and 
when  Fritzi — for  this  was  Fritzi — had  served 
the  young  men  she  took  a  seat  companionably 
by  them,  as  became  her  role. 

She  had  a  rustic  beauty  and  was  sound  and 
plump  as  a  cherry.  Her  peasant  headdress 
was  high  and  elaborate,  winged  with  chicken 
feathers,  and  her  short  skirts  gave  way  before 
white  stockings  pulpily  emerging  from 
painted  wooden  shoes  which  clicked  over  the 
dull  tiled  floor. 

By  the  table  she  knitted,  watching  the  eat 
ing  solicitously,  and  was  by  turns  candid,  so 
ciable  and  saucy  as  a  spoiled  child.  It  was 
her  business  not  to  be  affronted  by  familiar 
remarks  and  actions.  She  was  there  to  draw 
trade.  She  knew  how  to  drop  quick  curtesies 
in  response  to  compliments  and  tips.  Al 
though  Deming  acted  freely  toward  her  like 
an  old  acquaintance,  he  could  not  make  much 
headway  owing  to  the  bar  of  language — her 
jargon  of  dialect. 

Gard,  when  touched  with  loneliness,  went 
there  several  times  and  struck  up  quite  an  in 
timacy  with  her,  the  proprietor  and  his  wife. 


FRITZIE  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION  195 

It  was  a  snug  spot  and  she  was  picturesque. 
The  Lebkuchen  and  famous  sausages,  which 
would  have  been  a  deadly  combination  in 
America,  seemed  to  agree  with  him,  soothed 
with  beer.  While  Fritzi  appeared  keck  at 
intervals,  Gard  did  not  see  any  excuse  for 
agreeing  with  the  scandalous  hints  Von  Tielitz 
and  Messer  threw  out  about  her.  They  would 
naturally  see  the  wench  in  every  domestic. 

It  was  from  the  inn  that  Kirtley  frequently 
went  to  Anderson's  for  the  afternoon.  Gard 
had  found  it  desirable  to  write  down  in  a  note 
book  some  of  the  facts  and  reflections  he  was 
accumulating  on  the  subject  of  the  German. 
He  would  want  to  show  them  to  his  old  tutor 
when  home  was  reached  again.  Among  them, 
Anderson's  ideas  and  comments  were  in 
cluded,  flanked  by  an  occasional  apothegm. 

Gard  copied  off  a  sample  of  their  many 
talks  in  somewhat  the  abridged  form  as  given 
below.  It  was  when,  on  one  of  these  days, 
Kirtley  learned  that  Anderson  had  moved, 
and  traced  him  to  his  new  abode.  From  the 
window  of  this  apartment  they  could  see, 
through  the  bleary  March  light,  the  dowager- 
like  Grosse  Garten  where  Deming  paraded  in 
style  with  Frau  Bucher  and  Fraulein.  Al- 


196  VILLA  ELSA 

though  the  trees  and  shrubbery  were  now  so 
gaunt  and  chilly  of  aspect,  soon  they  would 
be  green  and  gay  with  beautiful  spring,  and 
Anderson  would  find  them  cheering. 

"I  am  getting  old,"  he  said.  "1  have  never 
wanted  May  to  hurry  up  so  much  as  this  year. 
Here  I  can  get  a  good  view  and  the  birds  will 
come  and  nest  in  these  branches.  They  will 
whistle  to  me.  I  can  fill  my  pocket  with 
crumbs  and  go  out  and  make  their  acquaint 
ance  in  the  sunshine  and  flowers.  Since  the 
war  failed  me  again,  I  can  see  that  my  friends 
pull  away  from  me.  They  doubtless  think 
that  no  one  is  more  worthless  than  a  prophet 
who  cannot  pull  off  his  'stunt'  and  has  short 
gray  hair  in  the  bargain.  Everyone  is  bliss 
fully  lolling  in  the  embraces  of  enduring  tran 
quillity  and  I  am  seeking  the  companionship 
of  trees  and  birds  that  are  not  troubled  with 
the  machinations  and  delusions  of  mankind. 

"So  there  will  be  this  delightful  summer  of 
1914  ahead.  Christian  civilization  is  spread 
ing  rapidly  everywhere.  More  Bibles  being 
sold  than  ever.  More  Hottentots  and  canni 
bals  wearing  clothes  and  losing  their  taste  for 
human  flesh.  And  so  universal  Peace  has 
come  to  stay.  There  will  not  be  another  war,. 


FRITZIE  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION  197 

"And  yet  the  Dresden  barracks  were  never 
so  full  of  soldiers,  and  the  German  bases  of 
military  supplies  are  crammed.  The  munition 
factories  are  running  on  extra-time  schedules. 
Has  the  world  turned  topsy-turvy  or  have  I? 
Does  what  one  actually  see  and  hear  have  no 
meaning  any  more?" 

"Why  do  you  stay  in  Germany?"  asked 
Gard.  "The  Germans  antagonize  you.  And 
you  look  upon  their  Government  as  a  wicked 
monster  prepared  to  leap  upon  its  innocent 
prey?" 

"For  about  the  same  reasons  that  you  re 
main  at  the  Buchers'.  Because  it's  so  often 
exasperating  here.  And  that's  always  exciting. 
I  guess  it's  the  Irish  strain  in  us.  Want  to  stick 
around  where  there's  a  good  prospect  for 
trouble — want  something  to  swear  at.  And 
I  consider  it  my  duty  to  remain  here  as  a 
sign  post  of  warning.  I  am  carrying  about 
a  small  red  flag  with  DANGER  on  it.  If  the 
Germans  win  command  of  the  world,  I  will 
be  here  on  the  ground  all  ready  to  start  in  as 
a  German  and  will  have  a  great  advantage 
over  nearly  all  Yankees.  I  have  conned  my 
green  book  of  irregular  verbs,  which  I  think 
would  bother  most  of  them  considerably.  I 


198  VILLA  ELSA 

have  got  ^accustomed  to  the  German  eating 
and  drinking  which  I  imagine  would  prove  the 
death  of  most  of  them,  too.  I  have  learned 
to  sleep  athwart  the  German  bed — no  small 
feat,  as  you  know.  For  everything  must  be 
come  Germanized  under  German  rule.  Teu 
tons  know  no  other  method." 

"Is  that  the  meaning  of  the  sort  of  happy, 
triumphant  feeling  that  one  finds  in  Ger 
many?  It  seems  to  pervade  the  whole  Empire 
— rich  and  poor,  merchant  and  peasant,  house 
wife  and  children." 

"Yes,  because  they  know  a  victorious  war 
is  coming  and  they  will  all  be  lords  and  mas 
ters.  The  Empire  will  stretch  out  wide  and 
there  will  be  work  at  the  highest  wages  and 
plenty  of  money.  The  German  will  be  able 
to  travel  on  his  own  railroads  throughout 
most  of  Europe  and  Turkey.  No  matter  how 
servile  he  may  be  at  home,  everyone  will  kow 
tow  to  him  abroad. 

"It  will  be  a  short,  decisive  campaign.  It 
will  cost  some  blood  and  some  treasure,  but 
then — the  German  millennium!  The  people  a 
eager,  ripe,  fit  for  it.  The  coveted  Govern 
ment  jobs  will  be  more  numerous  and  remu 
nerative.  They  will  confer  more  power  on  the 


FRITZIE  AND  ANOTHER  CONVERSATION  199 

incumbents,  for  they  will  be  largely  connected 
with  conquered  provinces.  The  German 
Michel  will  be  no  longer  cramped  up  in  his 
mid-continent."  . 


CHAPTER  XXVI 

SOME  OF  THE  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY 

"TTTHY  is  it  that  this  seems  to  be  a  nation 
T  V  of  professionals  while  ours  seems  to 
be  a  nation  of  amateurs?  I  suppose  it  is,  of 
course,  because  of  the  more  general  spread 
here  of  thorough  instruction." 

"Yes,  with  us  unskilled  mediocrity  is  the 
popular  level  because  it  is  within  the  reach  of 
everyone  in  a  democracy.  With  the  German, 
high  skilled,  highly  instructed  efficiency  is  the 
ideal.  The  failure  of  America  to  rise  into  the 
expert  level  is  due  to  our  unenforced  higher 
education.  We  compel  our  people  to  have  a 
common  school  education  in  order  to  preserve 
the  Republic.  Its  voters  must  know  how  to 
read  and  write  and  'figger'  or  they  won't  be 
able  to  vote  intelligently. 

"Now  if  we  did  in  addition  what  Germany 
does,  we  would  insist,  as  far  as  practicable,  on 
advanced  education  or  instruction  in  every 

200 


SOME  OF  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY      201 

family.  Then  we,  too,  would  have  a  wealth 
of  trained  talent.  Comparing  the  riches  and 
population  of  the  two  countries  there  is  a 
much  greater  proportion  of  university  men 
and  other  competently  instructed  men  in  Ger 
many.  Only  relatively  few  Americans  can 
show  diplomas  for  genuine  and  severe  mental 
training.  Take  your  own  Bucher  family  as 
an  illustration.  All  its  men  will  have  sheep 
skins  that  are  worth  while  to  show.  With  us, 
out  of  such  a  family  none  would  have  a  sheep 
skin,  or  at  most  one.  One  of  the  boys  might 
have  gone  to  a  university.  And  as  for  the  dif 
ference  in  the  women — little  comparison. 
Your  Frau,  as  you  have  told  me,  has  several 
framed  diplomas  to  her  credit. 

"You  can  see  what  a  tremendous  advantage 
all  this  gives  the  German  people  over  us.  You 
have  hit  it  very  well — we  are  nearly  always 
amateurs.  They  are  nearly  always  able  to  be 
professionals." 

"Is  it  the  same  with  the  laboring  classes — 
the  mechanics  and  all  that?" 

"The  same  is  true,  in  its  way.  A  poor  Amer 
ican  boy  thinks  he  will  like  to  be  a  machinist. 
He  gets  a  job  as  a  new  hand  on  a  salary.  He 
works  at  it  a  couple  of  years.  Then  somebody 


202  VILLA  ELSA 

offers  him  ten  dollars  a  week  more  to  drive 
a  truck,  which  is  a  simple,  elementary  task. 
He  drops  his  machinist  career  for  this.  He 
gets  more  money  and  it  requires  no  tedious 
training.  So  he  remains  an  indifferent  me 
chanic.  It's  the  money  he's  looking  for,  not 
the  satisfaction  of  proficiency  in  a  skilled 
trade. 

"Now,  by  contrast,  the  future  of  the  poor 
German  child  is  decided  in  a  fashion  at  about 
the  age  of  ten.  When  a  boy  is  elected  to  go 
into  industry,  for  instance,  he  is  apprenticed 
at  about  fourteen  for,  say,  four  years  to  be  a 
mechanic.  He  is  given  no  wages.  In  fact 
he  has  to  pay  something,  very  often,  for  the 
opportunity  to  learn.  But  he  must,  at  the 
same  time,  attend  what  they  call  here  continu 
ing  schools.  It  is  these  schools,  which  we  do 
not  have  in  America,  that  hold  him  fixed  to  his 
line  of  work — prevent  him  from  jumping 
from  one  kind  of  thing  to  another.  He  not 
only  works  in  the  shop  but  is  forced  to  go  to  a 
continuing  school. 

"Hence  at  eighteen  the  German  factory  and 
Government  are  sure  to  find  in  him  just  the 
kind  of  instructed  worker  they  need.  There 
has  never  been  any  danger  of  his  meanwhile 


SOME  OF  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY      203 

changing  to  driving  a  truck.  He  sticks  to  his 
trade  through  life.  He  becomes  a  master  me 
chanic.  You  can't  lure  him  away  into  an  un 
skilled  channel  by  more  money.  It's  not  the 
money  alone  he  is  thinking  of.  It  is  also  the 
pride  of  having  a  specific  calling  that  lifts  him 
out  of  the  great  commonplace  market  of  un 
trained  labor.  So  Germany  is  full  of  compe 
tent  mechanical  men  while  we  limp  along  with 
our  huge  supply  of  the  partly  experienced. 
Every  such  German  knows  how  to  do  at  least 
one  thing  as  well  as  and  usually  better  than 
anyone  else. 

"This  is  one  big  reason  why  Germany  is 
pushing  ahead  of  every  nation  in  the  industrial 
world  and  one  reason  why  I  fear  her.  No 
matter  what  she  wants  to  do,  she  has  an  abun 
dance  of  efficient  brain  and  muscle  right  at 
hand  with  which  to  do  it  well  and  at  once.  In 
our  great  United  States  the  lack  of  this  is  the 
bane  of  American  industry  and  development, 
and  causes  such  immense  and  continual  loss 
in  time  and  money  because  of  our  having  to 
deal  with  such  a  mass  of  inexperienced  young 
workmen. 

"But  more  than  this.  The  German  who  is 
taught  a  trade  acquires  not  only  the  technic  of 


204  VILLA  ELSA 

it  in  a  shop  or  laboratory,  but  also  acquires 
in  his  studies  something  of  an  enlightening 
and  inspiring  knowledge  of  its  history  and 
significance.  He  is,  consequently,  much  more 
than  a  mere  drudge.  He  is  made  intelligent 
about  his  calling.  This  particular  feature,  so 
pregnant  and  valuable,  is  not  incorporated  in 
the  American  plan,  if  we  can  be  said  to  have 
a  plan  in  these  matters.  For  the  Yankee  am 
bition  is  to  make  plenty  of  money  in  any  quick 
way,  and  therefore  to  rise  above  a  trade  which 
a  German  is  content  to  remain  in.  We  feel  no 
keen  necessity  about  careful  instruction  in 
such  vocations.  Luck,  "pull,"  "cheek,"  mere 
cleverness,  are  prominently  relied  on  in  its 
stead. 

"There  is  another  thing  in  this  trade  in 
struction  that  we  do  not  have  in  any  notice 
able  degree.  It  teaches  the  German  mechanic 
to  become  wedded  to  his  Nation  and  Govern 
ment.  He  is  made  to  realize  the  great  benefits 
and  responsibilities  he  owes  to  them.  He  be 
comes  an  integral  national  citizen  ready  to 
serve  his  homeland.  He  is  taught  to  think  of 
something  higher  than  his  pay  envelope. 
Under  our  system  such  a  mechanic  grows  up 
loosely  connected  in  thought  and  acts  with  the 


SOME  OF  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY      205 

governing  public  under  which  he  enjoys  all  his 
liberty  and  opportunity.  In  so  far  as  national 
necessities  go  he  is  apt  to  be  a  weakened  unit 
or  pulling  the  wrong  way.  Unlike  the  Ger 
man,  he  has  been  educated  to  have  no  self- 
sacrificing  ideal  of  state  or  country." 

Anderson  had,  at  one  time,  drawn  Card's 
attention  to  the  immense  advantage  Germany 
uniquely  derived  by  completely  organizing 
and  keeping  at  work  that  vast  majority  of 
incurable  mediocrities — mere  plodders — who 
are  found  in  every  race  and  who  often  weigh 
down  its  destiny  to  the  point  of  sinking  hope 
lessness. 

Kirtley  had  since  observed  that  one  conspic 
uous  German  method  was  largely  to  employ 
this  empty  talent  in  small  Government  jobs. 
In  general,  these  tasks  seemed  to  be  expressly 
for  the  swarming  and  uninspired  nonentities, 
and  meant  most  trivial  duties  for  trivial  pay. 
But  such  tasks  kept  this  population  occupied, 
orderly  and  more  than  self-respecting.  In 
America  incurable  mediocrity  is  left  to  shift 
for  itself  in  huge  masses. 

The  natural  ambition  of  a  Teuton  was  to  be 
in  the  national  service.  Rare  was  the  German 
family  who  had  not  one  member  in  "Govern- 


206  VILLA  ELSA 

ment  circles."  Or  if  not,  it  was  building  expec 
tations  toward  such  a  future.  One  in  every 
eight  wage-earning  men  a  bureaucrat !  It  was 
not  only  a  question  of  the  salary,  assured  if 
small,  but  the  honor.  Any  Government  clerk 
or  roustabout,  not  to  speak  of  functionaries  in 
higher  duties,  was  looked  up  to  in  a  way  un 
familiar  in  America,  for  under  that  continuous 
regime  his  position  remained  fixed  for  life. 
Government  officials  and  employees  in  the 
United  States  are  quite  freely  thrown  out 
under  the  frequent  election  upheavals  and  may 
to-morrow  be  ordinary  citizens  bereft  of  any 
sort  of  authority  over  their  fellows.  So  they 
enjoy  only  a  passing  deference. 

In  Germany,  owing  to  the  use  of  plodders 
who  made  up  extensively  its  ubiquitous  and 
commanding  official  class,  this  bureaucratic 
scheme  proved  useful  in  more  ways  than  one. 
It  put  faith  and  expectation  into  these  stolid, 
menial  lives  and  took  them  out  of  the  ranks 
of  the  idle  and  discontented  dullards  who,  in 
other  countries,  are  a  source  of  danger  or 
decay.  It  attached  Fritz  firmly  and  loyally  to 
the  Nation.  It  held  the  links  between  the  rul 
ing  caste  and  the  people  hard  and  tight.  At 
the  same  time  it  tied  his  family  and  friends 


SOME  OF  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY      207 

to  the  Hohenzollern,  uniting  them  in  a  bond 
almost  servile.  The  ever-swelling  ranks  of 
bureaucrats,  in  such  a  large  measure  imbecile 
and  applying  themselves  to  imbecile  occupa 
tions,  strengthened  the  incomparable  solidar 
ity  of  the  race.  And  it  was  this  army  of  State 
employees  who  were  actively  helping  diffuse 
through  Germany  in  1913  the  frothy  ideas  of 
a  national  triumph  that  intoxicated  the  popu 
lace. 

But  Kirtley,  admiring  this  manifestation  of 
practical  and  administrative  wisdom,  felt  that 
there  must  be  somewhere  a  tremendous  weak 
spot.  The  expense  of  this  plan  and  its  with 
drawal  of  muscle  and  even  poor  brain  from 
directly  productive  channels,  were  costly.  And 
there  was  about  it  a  pompous  vacancy,  an  ar 
rogant  nonsensicalness,  a  latent  peril  resulting 
from  such  a  large  number  of  automatons  in 
unquestioned  positions,  that  should  all  logic 
ally  indicate  this:  If  Germany  once  broke,  it 
would  collapse  somewhat  like  an  eggshell.  It 
would  be  a  formidable  eggshell  but  with  a  con 
tent  surprisingly  void. 

In  a  sentence,  the  mighty  German  bureauc 
racy  kept  the  population  from  thinking.  It 
meant — Obey  and  make  no  inquiry!  And 


208  VILLA  ELSA 

where  in  history,  Card  asked  himself,  has  a 
nation  of  such  political  and  body  slaves  en 
dured  as  against  nations  where  the  common 
individual  was  free  to  ask  questions?  Slavery 
in  any  important  form  is  acknowledged  to  be 
an  outworn,  decadent  economic  policy.  It 
cannot  compete  in  the  long  run. 

As  a  result  of  this  bureaucratic  domination 
in  Germany  there  were,  as  Kirtley  observed, 
many  aspects  of  the  organized  public  life  so 
excessively  worked  out  and  applied  in  their 
development  as  to  be  unbelievable  to  Ameri 
cans  who  had  not  come  in  actual  contact  with 
them.  These  logical  extremes  and  exhaustive 
minutiae  often  enough  combined  a  ferocious 
ostentation  and  comical  absurdness  that  were 
so  little  realized  by  those  afar  who  learned  of 
the  mighty  seriousness  and  intelligence  of  the 
Germans  merely  from  the  printed  page.  The 
conduct  and  operations  of  the  limitless  bu 
reaucracy  were  usually  the  form  in  which  the 
foreigner  in  the  flesh  ran  counter  to  this  un 
conscionable  discipline. 

Of  all  this  Government  routine,  the  spy 
system  stood  out  in  relief,  although,  at  the 
same  time,  it  was  so  dovetailed  into  the  civil 
administration  as  to  be  frequently  indistin- 


SOME  OF  LESS  KNOWN  EFFICIENCY      209 

guishable.  Like  a  typical  Yankee  Gard, 
always  greatly  impressed  by  the  general  em 
phasis  everywhere  laid  on  the  perfection  of 
the  Germans  and  their  methods  in  everything, 
had  regarded  Anderson's  remarks  and  hints 
about  the  spy  regime  as  exaggerations.  He 
still  could  not  believe  that  Rudolph  was  a  kind 
of  Government  sleuth  or  that  Teuton  exist 
ence  was  honeycombed  from  cellar  to  roof 
with  official  suspicion  and  the  tyranny  of  the 
detective. 

But  this  phase  was  now  brought  within 
range  of  his  personal  knowledge,  and  he  had  a 
glimpse  of  this  famous  German  service.  And 
through  whom?  Of  all  persons,  Jim  Deming. 
Strange  to  relate,  it  brought  to  a  sudden  head 
the  latter's  stirring  courtship  of  Fraulein 
Elsa. 


CHAPTER  XXVII 

THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE 

AFTER  New  Year  he  had  organized  a  lit 
tle  informal  dancing  club  among  the 
Americans.  He  called  it  the  Cinderella  Cotil 
lion  Coterie,  in  alliterative  compliment  to  the 
daintiness  of  the  ladies.  He  was  the  self- 
constituted  secretary  and  sole  official. 

For  the  birthday  of  the  Father  of  our  coun 
try  he  sent  out  to  the  members  a  rollicking 
printed  invitation  reading: 

In  honor  of  our  George's  birthday,  which  comes  as 
usual  this  year  on  February  the  twenty-second,  the 
inimitable  CCCs  will  hold  one  of  their  regular  reunions 
in  pumps,  beginning  punctually  at  nine.  Full  beer 
orchestra  as  usual.  No  flowers  or  singing  of  hymns. 

By  order 

JAMES  ALEXANDER  DEMING,  Sec.,  CCC. 

R.  S.  V.  P — the  Senate  and  the  Roman  People. 

The  notice  at  least  gave  evidence  that  Jim 
had  been  in  Italy. 

210 


THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE 

Several  weeks  after  the  pleasant  event, 
when  he  had  forgotten  all  about  it,  he  was 
loafing  in  his  room  one  morning  after  break 
fast,  smoking  an  eccentric  pipe  from  his  col 
lection,  and  comforting  himself  over  his  de 
cision  once  more  that  German  teachers  and 
grammars  are  a  failure. 

A  thump  was  heard  at  his  door.  He  called 
out  Herein!  whereat  a  person  in  uniform 
strode  in  and  stuck  into  Deming's  hands  a 
majestic  communication  from  which  he  made 
out  with  some  difficulty  that  he  was  peremp 
torily  ordered  to  appear  at  Police  Headquar 
ters  at  eleven  that  forenoon.  Fully  conscious 
of  the  political  innocence  of  his  conduct,  he 
welcomed  this  new  diversion  and,  humming 
the  latest  opera  bouffe  air,  he  dressed  in  his 
best  with  a  posy  in  his  lapel. 

His  gay  feelings  were  a  little  dampened  at 
the  Platz  where  he  encountered  a  massive 
solemnity  and  sullen  looks  as  if  he  were  an 
arch  criminal  of  State.  A  ponderous  minor 
individual,  not  unarmed,  commanded  him  to 
be  seated  in  front  of  his  desk  and,  eying  him 
sternly,  handed  over  one  of  Jim's  invitations 
to  the  George  Washington  party. 

"Do  vou  know  of  this?" 


212  VILLA  ELSA 

"Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jim,  surprised  that  this 
harmless  missive  had  turned  up  among  the 
Police,  and  wondering  what  it  could  all  be 
about. 

"Have  you  authorization?" 

* ' Authorization,  sir  ?' ' 

"What  is  this?"  roared  the  petty  func 
tionary. 

"Why,  nothing  at  all.  It  means  dance — 
ball — a  little  dance  we  had." 

"Dance — ball."  The  other  repeated  the 
words  with  a  severity  that  champed  upon  its 
bits.  "Are  you  this  party?"  He  tried  to  pro 
nounce  Jim's  formidable  name  on  the  card. 

"Yes,  sir." 

"What  does  this  mean— Sec.,  CCC?"  he 
roared  again. 

Deming  was  getting  upset,  confused  besides 
by  his  inadequate  vocabulary. 

"I  don't  know  in  German,  but  in  English 
we  say  Secretary  of  the  Cinderella  Cotillion 
Coterie." 

"Ah,  you  say  Secretary.  It  is  English." 
And  an  enlightened  satisfaction  furrowed  the 
hardened  face  of  the  interlocutor.  Then, 
abruptly  to  Deming's  relief: 

"You  may  go." 


THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE      21S 

As  Jim  rose  to  leave  he  found  a  court 
flunkey  at  either  elbow.  They  escorted  him 
out  with  a  military  precision  and  flourish.  He 
congratulated  himself  on  the  easy  way  he  had 
got  through  with  it.  He  must  have  somehow 
managed  it  pretty  well. 

Two  days  later,  in  the  evening,  an  attendant 
from  the  Intelligence  Office  ushered  himself 
into  Deming's  room  without  announcement. 
He  bore  a  summons  for  the  next  day. 

"Well,  of  all  the  damned  fools!"  Jim  ex 
claimed  to  himself.  "They  don't  seem  to  know 
I'm  a  free  American  citizen.  I'll  tell  them 
this  time.  They  are  getting  too  familiar — 
walking  into  a  chap's  room  without  waiting  to 
be  invited." 

This  time  he  was  brought  before  a  higher 
official  with  a  more  exalted  mien,  and  manners 
of  inextinguishable  anger.  He  held  the  tell 
tale  notice  of  February  twenty-second  in  his 
horny  paw.  Deming  was  this  time  not  asked 
to  sit  down. 

"Who's  this  George?"  was  demanded. 

"Why,  that's  our  great  George,"  confirmeH 
Jim,  sharing  with  jaunty  confidence  this  bit  of 
universal  knowledge. 


214  VILLA  ELSA 

"George — George — the  king  of  England," 
was  the  gratifying  conclusion. 

"And  what  does  this  mean?" 

"That's  Senate  and  the  Roman  People. 
That's  just  a  joke." 

"Senate— Senate!    Official." 

Several  of  the  glowering  army  folk  stood 
about.  They  took  on  menacing  airs  of  im 
portance,  following  the  lead  of  their  chief.  An 
international  intrigue,  involving  a  foreign 
king  and  senate,  was  being  rapidly  unraveled. 
Deming  was  so  suddenly  and  summarily  dis 
missed  again  that  he  forgot  to  tell  them 
proudly  he  was  a  free  American  citizen — with 
a  hundred  million  people  behind  them. 

He  was  becoming  worried  and  consulted  the 
experience  of  Miles  Anderson  whom  he  had, 
of  course,  met  through  Kirtley. 

"In  the  toils  of  the  German  high  police!" 
chuckled  Anderson.  "That  is  certainly 
funny." 

"But  what  am  I  to  do  to  get  rid  of  them?" 
inquired  Jim  anxiously.  "It  seems  I  have  no 
privacy.  And  I  don't  want  to  be  going  to 
the  Platz  all  the  time.  Hadn't  I  better  turn 
it  over  to  our  Consulate?" 

"Heavens,  no.    American  consuls  won't  do 


THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE 

anything  for  you.  They  are  considerably  Ger 
manic  anyhow — work  in  with  the  local  au 
thorities.  It's  our  easy-going  American  way. 
If  you  want  anything  done,  go  to  the  British 
or  Japanese.  Then  you  will  get  action.  Our 
official  attitude  seems  to  be  that  an  American 
ought  not  to  be  away  from  America.  If  he 
is  away,  he  must  look  out  for  himself — has 
few  rights  abroad.  The  Germans  respect  the 
English  and  Japs  for  they  mean  business  and 
their  consular  service  is  not  to  be  trifled  with." 

"I  don't  want  to  go  to  foreigners — get  this 
thing  all  advertised  about — go  to  all  that 
trouble." 

"Then  tell  the  Germans  to  go  to  hell.  That's 
the  only  way  to  get  on  with  Germans.  They 
are  used  to  being  sworn  at.  They  will  quit 
you  then.  If  you  don't,  they  will  keep  you 
trotting  to  Headquarters  for  six  months.  If 
you  try  to  be  nice,  try  to  placate  them,  you'll 
simply  get  into  hotter  water.  They  don't  un 
derstand  such  things.  They  think  they  are 
uncovering  a  vast  conspiracy.  Cinderella 
Cotillion  Coterie!  Gad,  of  all  the  farcical 
happenings  I  have  come  across  even  in  Ger 
many  !" 

Deming  was  braced  up  by  this  advice,  and 


216  VILLA  ELSA 

if  anything  more  came  of  the  incident  he  de 
termined  to  see  it  through  with  some  of 
Anderson's  good  American  bluff  and  inde 
pendence. 

The  following  morning  he  was  plashing 
about  in  his  bath  tub  when  the  door  was 
bluntly  opened  and  then  partly  closed.  He 
faced  around  in  amazement  at  the  audacity  of 
anyone  boldly  intruding  into  a  bath  room — the 
only  place  left  in  Germany  for  the  self-re 
specting  Naked  Cult.  His  eyes  fell  upon 
another  uniformed  emissary  from  the  Police. 
This  one  was  very  obsequious  and  bowed  and 
scraped  his  excuses  for  the  unseemly  interrup 
tion. 

"Excuse  me,  mein  Herr,  but  I  heard  water 
splashing  and  I  thought  you  were  at  break 
fast." 

Jim  had  adopted  the  fashion  of  talking 
derogatorily  in  English  to  Germans  who,  not 
understanding,  usually  agreed  with  his  senti 
ments.  This  always  amused  him  and  satisfied 
his  injured  feelings. 

"That's  the  way  with  you  Germans.  When 
you  hear  a  noise,  you  think  someone  is  eat- 
ing." 

"Ja  wohl,  ja  wohl,  mein  Herr,"  assented 


THE  IMPERIAL  SECRET  SERVICE      217 

the  incomer  with  crude  agreeableness,  all  the 
while  grinning  in  shamefacedness.  And  float 
ing  in  the  water  Jim  received  another  order, 
from  the  retreating  and  apologizing  minion  of 
the  law,  to  stand  at  attention  at  Headquarters. 
He  was  unfamiliar  with  courts  of  any  sort  and 
did  not  know  he  should  ask  for  an  interpreter. 
That  the  officials  had  not  as  yet  used  one 
showed  apparently  an  attempt  to  let  the  ac 
cused,  thus  handicapped,  stumble  into  an  in 
criminating  confession. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII 

JIM  DEMING'S  FATE 

THE  scene  was  now  transferred  to  a  third 
chamber  which  looked  somewhat  like  an 
august  tribunal  of  state.  It  was  an  imposing 
room  divided  by  a  long  high  rostrum  upon 
which  sat  a  terrible  looking  individual  of  the 
utmost  lordliness.  The  attendants  were 
numerous,  and  if  Deming  had  ever  heard  of 
the  trial  of  Warren  Hastings  he  would  have 
thought  this  appeared  an  occasion  of  almost 
equal  importance  and  gravity.  When  he  ar 
rived  for  his  ordeal  before  the  bench,  he 
seemed  a  rather  small  and  defenseless  figure. 

For  he  was  now  to  be  subjected  to  a  sort 
of  "third  degree,"  with  a  court  interpreter  at 
hand.  Every  word  that  might  be  significant 
in  his  bedeviling  invitation  of  February 
twenty-second  was  gone  over  with  the  mina 
tory  harshness  of  medieval  inquisitors. 

218 


JIM  DEMING'S  FATE  219 

"February  twenty-second.  Why  is  that 
day?" 

Deining  explained  through  his  intermedi 
ary.  His  interrogators  persisted  in  the  idea 
that  it  was  a  pregnant  date  in  English  history 
and  had  some  sinister  meaning  like  Guy 
Fawkes  day.  The  pages  of  British  annals  had 
evidently  been  scanned  to  find  the  hidden  clew. 

"  'No  flowers  or  singing  of  hymns.'  What  is 
all  this?" 

"Just  a  joke,  tell  him,  just  a  little  innocent 
fun,"  appealed  Jim  to  his  translator. 

"You  signed  yourself  as  Secretary.  That 
contravenes  the  law.  You  had  no  authority  to 
assume  an  official  position  without  confer 
ring." 

Then  there  was  the  mighty  Senate  and  the 
Roman  People  again  on  the  mystic  communi 
cation  with  its  cryptic  letters  as  full  of  mystery 
as  runes  to  these  Germans.  It  was,  of  course, 
the  language  of  a  code. 

"Tell  him  that  there  is  no  such  thing  in  the 
world  as  the  Roman  Senate  and  People,"  ex 
plained  Deming  with  nervous  despair.  "That 
was  just  fooling.  Nothing  political — nothing 
political!"  he  exclaimed.  Everything  became 
less  convincing  and  therefore  visibly  more  sat- 


220  VILLA  ELSA 

is  factory,  and  looks  and  voices  grew  savage  in 
proportion. 

There  was  also  the  occult  CCC. 

"Who  is  Cinderella?  Is  he  in  Dresden  with 
you?  Where  is  he  to  be  found?"  The  word 
was  indicated  by  a  big  thumb.  Poor  Jim, 
whose  specific  information  was  as  limited 
about  Cinderella  as  about  most  subjects,  en 
tered  nevertheless  on  a  long  explanation  not 
only  concerning  her  but  concerning  the  play 
ful  innocence  of  the  George  Washington 
meeting. 

"Tell  him  it  was  a  harmless  little  social 
affair  that  a  few  of  us  fellows  and  girls  got 
up.  We  will  never  do  it  again.  I  did  not 
know  it  would  be  any  offense.  Tell  him  I 
was  only  doing  what  I  would  do  in  my  own 
country.  There  we  can  get  together  and 
dance  a  little  any  time  without  disturbing  the 
nation."  He  wanted  to  add  that  the  United 
States  was  not  like  police-ridden  Germany 
where  it  almost  seemed  that  a  chap  couldn't 
tie  his  shoe  without  permission  from  the 
Kaiser.  Prudence  refrained  him. 

"Cotillion  Coterie.  That's  French,"  trans 
lated  the  Ober-Offizier  on  the  bench,  gravely 
illuminated.  An  assistant  suggested  that  sec 


JIM  DEMING'S  FATE 

might,  in  fact,  refer  to  champagne.  That 
would  be  French  too. 

"When  did  you  leave  France  the  last  time?" 
the  other  demanded  in  a  hoarse,  triumphant 
tone. 

"Never  been  in  France,"  returned  Jim  in 
a  loud  voice. 

"Never  been  in  France  and  yet  you  use 
French  fluently." 

"Tell  him  I  don't  know  a  word  of  French. 
I  didn't  know  that  was  especially  French. 
With  us  it's  just  dancing  language — every 
body  uses  it.  Tell  him" — Jim  added  encour 
agingly — "tell  him  I  never  knew  a  Frenchman 
in  my  life." 

"This  is  evidently  a  French  affair  as  well  as 
English,"  commented  the  officer.  "Anglo- 
French.  Reaches  out." 

"What  are  they  saying?"  anxiously  asked 
Deming  of  his  intermediary. 

On  learning  the  new  and  extensive  ramifi 
cations  into  which  the  sportive  CCC  was  lead 
ing  him,  he  threw  up  his  hands  before  he 
thought  and  exclaimed,  "Oh,  my  God!"  It 
expressed  his  disgusted  confirmation  of  Mr. 
Anderson's  assertion — "What  egregious  asses 
such  Germans  can  be!" — and  also  his  own 


VILLA  ELSA 

alarm  over  his  situation.  When  would  he  get 
back  to  America  at  this  rate?  It  was  going 
to  cost  money  to  escape  from  this  scrape,  and 
how  would  his  governor  and  mother  feel  about 
it?  A  few  months  in  a  political  prison  with 
rats  and  vermin  crawling  over  him  seemed 
ahead  instead  of  the  jolly  summer  he  had 
planned.  He  cursed  under  his  breath  the 
member  of  the  CCC  who  had  carelessly  let 
his  card  get  away  from  his  clutches. 

But  a  greater  surprise  awaited  him.  It  re 
vealed  an  example  of  the  tremendous  thor 
oughness  and  immense  detail  that  were  the 
pride  of  the  Teuton  bureaucracy.  Deming 
was  taken  off  his  feet.  The  chief  held  up  a 
little  battered  sheet. 

"Have  you  always  paid  your  bills  in  Ger 
many?" 

"Yes,  I  have,  sir,"  returned  Jim,  wondering 
at  this  strange  turn,  but  fully  sure  of  himself 
on  this  ground. 

"Untruth.  Why  did  you  not  pay  for  three 
candles  left  in  your  room  at  Karlsruhe?  Here 
is  the  unreceipted  slip." 

"Because  I  did  not  use  them.  I  did  not 
want  them.  I  left  them  on  the  mantel." 

"And  here  is  a  balance  due  on  your  laundry 


JIM  DEMING'S  FATE  223 

bill  at  Hamburg — twelve  cents — unpaid. 
How  do  you  explain  that?"  A  torn  and  dirty 
washing  schedule  was  handed  down  to  him  to 
refresh  his  memory. 

"I  didn't  know  I  owed  any  balance," 
argued  Jim  to  his  spokesman.  "Tell  him  it 
was  not  presented  to  me.  Tell  him  I  will  be 
only  too  glad  to  pay  anything  I  owe.  I  always 
pay  what  I  owe."  The  examiner  gingerly 
took  up  a  crumpled  napkin,  brown  from  an 
overturned  demi-tasse. 

"August  sixteenth,  you  spilled  coffee  on 
your  napkin  at  lunch — half-past  twelve.  And 
you  went  away  from  the  Hotel  Bellevue — 
Bavaria — without  making  it  good.  What 
have  you  to  say  to  that?"  The  sorry  cloth  was 
held  up  contemptuously  for  Jim's  inspection 
and  for  the  edification  of  the  duly  pained  of 
ficial  audience,  most  of  whom,  however,  doubt 
less  made  no  use  of  such  an  article  in  their 
daily  lives. 

"I  never  heard  anything  about  it!"  cried 
Deming.  "In  my  country  such  things  are 
thrown  in.  Nothing  said  about  them.  But 
tell  him  I'll  pay  it — I'll  pay  anything — every 
thing.  How  much  is  it?" 

"Twenty-five  cents,  the  bill  claims." 


224  VILLA  ELSA 

"What  is  the  total?"  And  Jim  began  dig 
ging  in  his  pockets  while  holding  up  his  head 
testily.  He  had  never  before  been  accused 
of  hotel-beating.  But  payment  did  not  yet 
appear  to  be  in  order.  He  stared  at  the  mass 
of  files  and  papers  before  his  cross-questioner. 
He  realized  that  his  whole  record  in  Germany 
lay  there.  The  Imperial  Service  had  traced 
him  like  bloodhounds.  Due  to  his  frequent 
irritated  displays  of  proud  American  indepen 
dence  on  his  tour,  the  bill  of  small  grievances, 
now  accumulated,  no  doubt  assumed  trouble 
some  proportions  when  exposed  in  its  formid 
able  length.  Three  hours  had  been  consumed, 
accounted  for  in  part  by  the  necessity  of  an 
interpreter.  As  meal  time  was  at  hand  Dem- 
ing  was  commanded  to  appear  the  next  morn 
ing  at  nine  to  have  his  testimony  taken  at 
length. 

He  departed,  his  buoyant  nature  rising 
once  more  in  partial  relief.  True  to  his  Yan 
kee  instincts  he  now  concluded  they  were  only 
after  the  money  he  owed. 

"They  want  to  scare  me  to  make  me  pay 
up,"  he  said  to  himself.  "They  are  afraid 
they  won't  get  it.  I'll  pay  the  little  two  or 
three  dollars  and  that  will  end  the  matter. 


JIM  DEMING'S  FATE 

These  blamed  Germans  with  their  ten  cents 
and  twenty-five  cents!  What  a  system  of 
government  to  be  bothering  with  these  idiotic 
trifles!" 

He  sought  distraction  in  several  games  of 
billiards  followed  by  dinner  at  his  favorite 
cafe.  When  he  returned  to  his  room  late  that 
night  he  found  that  his  effects  had  been  ran 
sacked  by  two  detectives.  Fully  incensed  by 
this  high-handed  procedure  he  determined  to 
place  his  inalienable  rights  in  the  hands  of  a 
lawyer  the  first  thing  after  the  early  morning 
meeting. 

The  taking  of  his  testimony  was  a  proceed 
ing  held  in  a  small  side  apartment  before  an 
elderly  crotchety  underling  who  pretended  to 
understand  English  and  French,  but  whose 
thick-wittedness  seemed  monumental.  The 
slowness  and  dullness  indicated  a  whole  sum 
mer's  programme  of  this  preposterous  horse 
play.  Everything  was  being  written  down  in 
detail  in  long  hand  in  the  form  of  questions 
and  answers.  All  Deming's  candles,  soiled 
linen,  stained  napkins  and  what-not,  reported 
from  all  directions  of  the  Empire,  began  to 
be  raked  over.  There  were  green,  yellow,  red, 
blue  telegrams  from  half  the  German  States. 


226  VILLA  ELSA 

Harassed  by  this  muck  and  by  the  leering 
taunts  of  the  old  party,  Jim  was  glad  to  find, 
at  the  noon  hour,  that  the  session  was  post 
poned  to  the  second  day  after. 

As  he  was  leaving  the  room,  another  offen 
sive  inquiry  about  an  absurdity  caused  him 
suddenly  to  remember  Mr.  Anderson's  advice. 
And  in  one  immortal  moment  in  his  existence 
he  rose  to  a  sublime  heigkt  of  moral  courage. 

"Go  to  hell!"  he  shot  back.  And  as  he  saw 
the  clumsy  servitor  beginning  to  pen  "An 
swer:  Go  to  h "  in  his  great  book,  Jim 

slipped  out. 

He  briskly  hunted  a  lawyer  to  whom  he  re 
lated  all  the  circumstances,  winding  up 
elatedly  with  the  last  remark. 

"Did  they  write  that  down  too?" 

"Yes." 

The  attorney  was  at  first  convulsed,  familiar 
with  Teuton  naivete.  Then  he  dubiously  shook 
his  head.  To  Jim's  unexpected  discomfort  the 
affair  was  regarded  seriously.  If  he  had  not 
ejaculated  this  affront,  something  could  be 
done.  But  now  he  had  been  guilty  of  what 
the  Germans  might  rightfully  construe  as  a 
voluntary  indignity  offered  to  the  Imperial 
Secret  Service  in  the  performance  of  its 


JIM  DEMING'S  FATE  227 

highly  responsible  duties.  If  he  wanted  to 
avoid  important  trouble,  the  only  simple  and 
effective  course  would  be  to  quit  the  country. 
He  could  leave  that  night  and  in  not  many 
hours  would  be  ill  Russia  and  beyond  German 
control. 

And  so  Jim  Deming  made  a  hasty  and  un 
ceremonious  exit  from  the  Deutschland  he  had 
been  so  fond  of,  without  having  time  to  salute 
any  of  his  many  friends  good-by.  He  had  to 
send  them  a  line  of  farewell  from  St.  Peters 
burg. 

"Here  you  have  German  bureaucracy  in  its 
full  flower  and  odor,"  remarked  Anderson  as 
he  recounted  the  affair  to  Kirtley.  "It 
flourishes  to  a  great  extent  by  exaggerating 
mole  hills  into  mountains  with  officious  vac 
uity.  It  is  so  large  that  there  is  not  enough 
serious  work  for  it.  So  something  often  must 
be  found  to  do.  It  is  a  civil  army  radiating 
the  glory  of  the  Kaiser.  The  more  extensive 
it  is,  the  more  entrenched  he  is.  It  is  official 
dry  rot  which  is  part  of  the  price  the  people 
pay  for  having  themselves  governed.  It  is  na 
tional  graft.  But  while  our  American  forms 
of  graft  at  least  stimulate  individual  clever 
ness  among  our  compatriots,  this  German 


228  VILLA  ELSA 

form  tends  to  reduce  its  recipients  to  the  level 
of  donkeys,  as  seen  in  the  Deming  case." 

Gard  little  suspected  that  he  was  to  drift 
into  a  somewhat  similar  misadventure,  but  of 
an  advanced  type. 


CHAPTER  XXIX 

WINTER  AND  SPRING 

HPHE  sudden  drop  in  the  life  in  Villa  Elsa 
-*-  occasioned  by  meteoric  Jim  Deming' s 
disappearance,  was  terrific.  Frau  Bucher 
gasped,  caught  her  breath  and  sank  volumi 
nously  beneath  the  waters  of  social  oblivion 
whence  she  had  so  grandly  emerged.  When 
she  finally  came  up  to  her  plain  surface  of 
existence  she  demanded,  Where  are  now  the 
theater  parties,  and  drives  in  the  Grosse  Gar 
ten  behind  the  King?  The  family  had  almost 
begun  to  wonder  how  they  had  got  on  before. 
She  wailed: 

"The  good  Herr  Deming,  the  marvelous 
Herr  Deming!  How  could  he  have  abruptly 
left  us?  Something  mightily  strange  must 
have  forced  him  to  go.  He  will  surely  return. 
How  could  he  treat  Elsa  so?  Here  we  are 
with  our  hopes,  our  plans  and  our  new  under 
wear.  It  is  terrible." 

229 


230  VILLA  ELSA 

For  several  days  the  house  resounded  with 
perturbation.  This  gradually  decreased  as  the 
readjustment  to  the  former  flat  conditions 
took  place.  The  transition  was  not  completed 
until  the  information  arrived  that  Herr  Dem- 
ing  was  never  coming  back.  The  final  stroke. 
It  was  indeed  pitiable,  tragic,  amusing.  And 
all  because  the  American  custom  of  flirtation 
was  unknown  to  these  matter-of-fact  Ger 
mans,  so  deadly  in  earnest  about  everything. 

But,  Teuton-like,  the  brave  ship  Villa  Elsa 
soon  righted  itself,  being  used  to  blows.  It 
had  at  least  entertained  and  been  entertained 
by  one  of  the  Golden  Youths  of  Good  For 
tune  whose  legends  gild  the  expectations  of 
every  race.  And  it  was  a  superior  satisfaction 
to  realize  that  this  had  not  happened  elsewhere 
in  Loschwitz. 

There  were  left  behind  no  lingering  ani 
mosities,  no  painful  grievings.  Feelings  were 
too  stout,  sensibilities  too  tough,  to  admit  of 
acknowledging  rancors  or  sickly  complaints. 
The  daughter's  marriageable  future  was  ap 
parently  faced  again  with  courageous  deter 
mination.  As  she  could  not  be  a  luxurious 
American  queen,  she  must  be  a  German  house 
wife  who  ranked,  to  say  the  least,  high  enough 


WINTER  AND  SPRING  231 

in  the  eyes  of  Gott.  But  what  German's  wife? 
Oddly  enough  Frau  Bucher,  despite  all  her 
bluntness,  never  let  a  hint  out  of  the  bag  of 
her  franknesses  before  Kirtley. 

After  Jim  Deming's  second  riotous  invasion 
of  Villa  Elsa,  when  there  had  been  confirmed 
the  abject  and  tumultuous  surrender  of  the 
two  ladies,  mind,  body  and  soul,  to  mere 
money,  prostrate  at  the  feet  of  an  American 
"pig,"  Gard  experienced  a  numbness  of  heart. 
True,  the  daughter  was  tied  to  the  apron 
strings  of  her  mother.  But  then  Jim  could 
only  fling  his  pocketbook  in  her  face.  He  had 
done  it  and  she,  sheep-like,  had  obviously  ac 
cepted  the  situation  without  a  question,  a 
murmur. 

How  could  he,  as  an  American,  gage  such 
a  blank  lack  of  character,  individuality?  How 
different  was  this  trait  from  that  which  was 
exhibited  by  the  energetic  prosecution  of  her 
talents  where  her  personality,  shining  forth  so 
steadily,  held  his  admiration  almost  un- 
dimmed!  This  was  a  baffling  interrogation 
that  furnished  another  evidence  to  Kirtley  of 
a  gaping  chasm  separating  the  Teutons  from 
other  peoples.  The  highest  ideal  of  German 
character  is  expressed  by  works.  The  highest 


232  VILLA  ELSA 

ideal  of  "Christian"  character  is  expressed  by 
self. 

Spring  was  now  at  hand.  The  sunlit  air 
invited  to  the  out-door  life.  The  windows  and 
doors  of  Villa  Elsa,  which  was  stale  and  stuffy 
from  the  closed-up  winter,  stood  open  and  the 
inmates  came  out  of  their  hibernation,  shook 
themselves  and  welcomed  the  warmth  and 
lack-luster  brightness.  The  lindens  and  plane 
trees  and  shrubberies  began  to  hug  the  place 
under  their  cosy  leafage.  Herr  Bucher's  rose 
garden  was  prepared  to  grow  merry  with 
colors.  The  companionable  garden  corner  for 
afternoon  tea  and  beer  became  a  nook  of  live 
liness.  The  on-coming  summer  sent  forth 
generally  its  exulting  thrills. 

This  fine  surging-in  of  sunny,  revivifying 
Nature  took  at  first  such  a  strong  and  glad 
hold  on  Gard  that  his  private  emotions,  which 
Elsa  had  so  promptly  sharpened  and  whose 
edge  had  become  dulled,  seemed  to  lay  them 
selves  pleasantly  aside  for  the  moment. 
Whether  they  were  to  become  whetted  again 
into  keen  interest  remained  to  be  seen,  for  the 
awakening  green  and  white  noon-tide  of 
actual  existence  was  absorbing. 

Apparently  she  was  not  greatly  affected  by 


WINTER  AND  SPRING  233 

Deming's  departure.  She  betook  herself  to 
her  lessons  and  duties  with  well-drilled  dili 
gence.  The  years  were  cut  out  for  her.  She 
had  only  to  follow  the  pattern.  How  much 
more  fortunate  it  would  be,  Card  had  often 
felt,  if  she  were  detached  from  her  semi-civi 
lized  household!  Her  own  attractions  would 
then  be  freed  from  the  surrounding  thorns, 
prickly  hedges,  that  bruised  and  tore  and  dis 
mayed  one.  An  American  chap  could  marry 
her — but  oh,  her  family ! 

It  was  not  long,  however,  before  she  missed 
meals.  She  had  begun  again  being  mysteri 
ously  mute  at  times  in  her  room,  over  the 
Heine  poems.  Gard  had  almost  forgotten 
them. 

There  were  no  promenades  this  early  season 
in  the  meadow,  with  the  poet.  No  duos  were 
played.  Winter,  for  that  matter,  was  a  more 
favorable  time  for  them,  as  it  was  also  for  the 
family  concerts. 

Fraulein  observed  a  meaningless  famil 
iarity  with  Kirtley  as  if  he  were  an  old  mem 
ber  of  the  home  circle.  He  wondered  again 
if  Rudolph  had  influenced  and  troubled  from 
the  first  her  relations  with  himself.  And  now 
adays  Tekla  was  surly  toward  him.  She 


234  VILLA  ELSA 

served  him  unwillingly  and  grabbed  his  occa 
sional  Trinkgelds  with  scarcely  a  thank-you. 
Had  Rudi,  with  whom  he  had  had  hardly  any 
contact,  stirred  her  up  against  him  out  of 
sheer  unjustified  Satanism? 

The  spring  weather  somewhat  curtailed, 
mollified,  all  the  frank  irascibility  and  wrang 
ling  that  went  on  in  the  house,  and  it  was 
under  the  lukewarm  spell  of  this  German  vir 
gin  summer-time  that  the  routine  took  on  its 
most  agreeable  aspects,  though  accompanied 
with  the  usual  Teuton  domestic  din.  It  was, 
in  fact,  very  enjoyable,  contrasted  with  what 
the  cold  months  had  permitted. 

In  the  winter  a  pleasant  feature  had  been 
the  theater  or  opera  nights.  Darkness  then 
came  at  four.  Dinner  would  be  served  at  five 
in  order  to  reach  the  amusement  place  at  half 
past  six  or  seven.  By  eleven  the  family  were 
back  in  Loschwitz,  sitting  down,  starved,  to  a 
bouncing  supper  where  frequently  Kirtley  re 
galed  himself  with  the  toothsome  Pumper 
nickel.  Over  the  hot  dishes  the  feverish  points 
of  the  entertainment  were  discussed,  ex 
claimed  about,  while  the  party  cooled  off  and 
solaced  themselves  with  Schultheiss.  These 
were  rousing  and  satisfying  little  happenings. 


WINTER  AND  SPRING  235 

Free  public  lectures  had  also  been  a  source 
of  enjoyment  to  the  Buchers  during  the  long 
frigid  fortnights.  Of  the  five  senses,  Gard 
reflected,  hearing  is  the  only  good  one  the  Ger 
mans  possess.  They  hear,  absorb  through 
hearing,  to  better  advantage  than  other  races. 
They  close  their  eyes  and  drink  in  seriously. 
Naturally  enough  comes  about  the  univer 
sality  of  their  music  and  lectures. 

Of  these  public  dissertations  a  course  on  the 
Union  between  Greek  Philosophy  and  Greek 
Poetry  was  especially  raved  over  in  Villa 
Elsa.  Gard  attended  one  of  these  evenings, 
inspired  by  the  instructional  ardors  of  Frau 
and  Fraulein  and  Ernst.  The  example  of 
little  Ernst,  avid  of  such  intellectual  pleasures 
at  his  tender  age,  ever  impressed  Gard  anew. 
He  thought  of  American  lads  in  comparison. 

The  German  professor,  as  is  well  known, 
occupies  a  much  more  potent  and  exalted  posi 
tion  in  Germany  than  the  American  professor 
in  America.  He  is  considered  a  reliable  fount 
of  wisdom.  He  speaks  with  sure  authority. 
He  is  an  oracle,  permanent  and  sounding  afar. 

On  this  occasion,  precisely  at  eight  o'clock, 
in  a  majestic  university  hall,  Kirtley  saw  this 
particular  grand  and  popular  orator  ascend 


236  VILLA  ELSA 

the  pulpit.  He  was  in  full  dress — white  waist 
coat,  white  tie,  white  kids.  He  was  large, 
shapely,  commanding.  The  women  were  "at 
his  feet."  He  stood  there  solemnly  as  the  clock 
was  striking,  and  slowly  removed  his  gloves 
and  inserted  them  under  his  coat  tail.  And 
for  exactly  an  hour  there  was  a  remarkable 
flow  of  formidable,  finished  periods,  without  a 
note,  without  a  hesitation.  Gard  really  felt 
there  would  never  be  anything  else  to  say 
about  Beauty,  so  profound,  so  complete,  so 
final,  seemed  this  survey  of  the  topic. 

At  the  close  the  audience  flocked  to  the 
speaker  as  if  to  an  Olympian  victor.  Frau 
Bucher  was  ecstatic,  covering  him  with  her 
compliments  while  insisting  on  waiting  for  a 
propitious  moment  to  introduce  Herr  Kirtley. 
But  as  Gard  remained  there  at  the  lecturer's 
elbow,  he  met  with  another  disillusion  about 
German  professors.  This  locally  famous  man, 
so  correctly  dressed  to  outward  view,  wore 
no  shirt  collar  under  his  beard.  His  neck  and 
ears  showed  no  signs  of  recent  ablutions  and 
were  bushy  with  unkempt  hairs.  And  he  ex 
haled  a  rank  odor  compounded  of  perspiration 
and  dirt. 

Gard  almost  choked,  being  crowded  into 


WINTER  AND  SPRING  287 

close  contact.  Could  he  ever  get  fully  accus 
tomed  to  German  smells?  It  was  most  un 
pleasant,  disenchanting.  He  could  not,  it  ap 
peared,  find  himself  attracted  to  Teuton  uni 
versity  expounders — those  gods  of  wisdom 
who  had  repulsed  him. 

Whether  it  was  his  unfortunate  luck  or  not, 
he  was  not  able  to  summon  a  desire  to  go 
again.  He  had  not  forgotten  his  other  expe 
rience.  It  was  a  part  of  that  something  fun 
damentally,  monumentally  lacking  in  the  Ger 
man  race — something  shoddy,  deceptive,  which 
he  had  met  with  at  so  many  turns. 


CHAPTER  XXX 

VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS 

IN  the  vernal  season  the  lectures  and  thea 
ters  were  dropped  for  neighborhood  ex 
cursions  of  which  the  Buchers,  like  all  German 
families,  were  extremely  fond.  A  rendezvous 
would  be  made  for  dinner,  for  instance,  at 
some  attractive  spot  up  the  Elbe.  It  would 
be  a  walking  trip  from  Loschwitz  along  the 
winding  banks  or  up  on  a  higher  path  stretch 
ing  from  one  smooth,  low-lying  hilltop  to 
another.  Everywhere  the  invigorating  odor 
of  pine  lay  in  the  air.  The  company  assem 
bled  by  twos  or  singly  at  their  convenience 
during  the  late  afternoon.  Generally  the  Herr 
would  be  last.  And  when  he  was  spied  ap 
proaching,  with  a  cock's  feather  in  his  hat  and 
supporting  himself  authoritatively  on  his  big 
stick,  a  chorus  of  acclaim  greeted  him,  for 
craving  appetites  were  now  to  be  satisfied. 

238 


VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS  239 

The  household  would  pass  the  evening  din 
ing  al  fresco  and  enjoying  the  landscape 
studded  with  historic  and  other  enduring 
memories.  Near  by  was  Hosterwitz,  where 
Weber  composed  "Oberon"  and  "Der  Frei- 
schiitz."  Often  mists  from  the  Elbe  rose 
mystically  to  engarland  the  crenelated  castles 
here  and  there  on  the  heights.  A  drowsy  river 
boat  in  that  long  agreeable  northern  twilight 
would  finally  gather  up  the  family  at  the  dock 
and  drop  them  off  at  home. 

Sundays  were  the  favorite  time  for  these 
little  outings.  Lessons,  classes,  tasks,  were 
then  lightened.  Gard  had  quickly  become 
aware  in  Germany  that  the  Sabbath  is  con 
siderably  a  day  of  work  as  well  as  pleasure. 
The  usual  impression  in  America  that  the 
Germans  are  religious,  not  to  speak  of  being 
moral,  was  dispelled.  This  had  been  a  frag 
ment  of  his  erroneous  idea  that  they  are 
active  Protestants  in  the  sense  that  carries  any 
Calvinistic  or  ethical  meaning. 

Neither  the  Buchers,  nor  any  of  the  families 
whom  Kirtley  met  through  them,  went  to 
church.  The  Protestant  churches  were,  in 
fact,  gloomy,  tasteless  and  almost  empty. 
Their  services  appeared  cheerless  and  forbid- 


240  VILLA  ELSA 

ding.  Tremendous  fear  was  their  keynote.  It 
seemed  far  more  agreeable  to  a  German  to 
partake  of  the  national  sacrament  out  in  a 
beer  garden. 

His  attitude  seemed  to  be  that  his  race  were 
born  so  constitutionally  and  thoroughly  in  line 
with  Divineness  that  they  did  not  need  to  do 
anything  about  it.  The  religious  element,  as 
a  shaper  of  conduct  and  thought,  was  accord 
ingly  not  required.  As  for  any  restraining 
power,  the  Government  furnished  all  of  this 
that  was  necessary. 

At  any  rate  the  rulers  looked  after  religion. 
They  observed  ail-sufficiently  its  rites.  They 
stood  next  to  Deity  and  represented  and  pro 
tected  the  people.  Kirtley  remarked  that 
when  the  ordinary  German  began  talking  of 
God,  which  was  rare,  he  was  soon  talking  of 
the  Emperor.  Both  deities  were  ever  solicitous 
for  him,  working  tirelessly  in  his  behalf.  The 
Kaiser  was  properly  the  national  busybody, 
the  head  schoolmaster,  who  attended  to  every 
body  and  everything  and  drove  all  con 
stantly  forward  toward  a  unified  and  splendid 
destiny. 

Thus  arose  the  firm  belief  of  the  Germans 
in  their  natural  righteousness — the  righteous- 


VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS  241 

ness  of  how  they  act,  what  they  possess. 
Gard  saw  there  existed  among  them  little 
virtue  in  the  way  of  religion  to  offer  the  youth 
of  other  lands.  To  send  an  American  son  or 
daughter  to  Deutschland  for  such  influence 
and  benefit  was  but  another  example  of  the 
prevailing  misconception  of  real  Teutonism. 

Many  an  evening  the  family  dined  at  the 
famous  Schiller  Garden  which  stretched  along 
the  shore,  just  across  the  river.  Knitting  and 
sewing  and  books  were  taken  along,  a  large 
table  was  secured,  and  there  the  members  ate 
and  refreshed  themselves  with  liquids  in 
leisurely  fashion  from  six  o'clock  until  bed 
time.  There  would  be  plenty  of  talking  and 
smoking  and  plying  of  needles  as  the  moon 
light  or  river  lights  danced  forth  to  guide  the 
active  river  traffic  and  also  the  large  inflowings 
and  outflowings  of  restaurant  guests.  And 
all  to  the  bracing  music  of  a  capital  orchestra 
reeling  off  jubilant  marches  and  waltzes. 

These  were  good  times  when  the  German 
was  to  be  observed  under  the  most  favorable 
colors.  After  Tekla's  little  tragedy  snatched 
her  away  from  Villa  Elsa,  as  will  soon  be  seen, 
this  dining  out  became  the  regular  event  of  the 
day. 


242  VILLA  ELSA 

On  one  of  these  occasions  in  the  Schiller 
Garden  the  conversation  fell  once  more  on 
America.  The  subject  had  not  been  touched 
since  the  eruption  over  Yankee  "pigs."  It 
had  lain  dormant  under  the  mesmeric  effect  of 
Jim  Deming's  appearance. 

Gard  gathered  the  following  for  his  note 
book.  The  Buchers  maintained  that,  even  if 
the  Hohenzollerns  were  not  wanted,  they  were 
necessary  to  hold  Germany  together.  Other 
wise  she  would  split  up  into  many  impotent 
states  and  be  at  the  mercy  of  the  solidary  races 
adjoining  her.  But  who  could  not  want  the 
Hohenzollerns?  They  had  made  of  Germany 
— really  a  small,  poor  country — a  mighty 
power.  Look  at  huge  America,  by  contrast! 
She  was  weak,  disorganized,  aimless.  She 
was  the  proverbial  giant  with  few  bones.  The 
western  half  of  the  United  States  was  still 
practically  undeveloped,  and  yet  it  abounded 
in  natural  wealth. 

Then  there  was  the  Monroe  Doctrine.  It 
was  a  baseless  fiat  for  which  there  was  no  legal 
or  moral  justification — as  arrogant  a  pre 
sumption  as  could  be  claimed  of  any  edict  of 
a  Kaiser.  The  Buchers  asserted  that  the  Doc 
trine  was  a  crime  against  humanity.  It  had 


VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS  243 

kept,  for  a  hundred  years,  South  America  and 
Central  America  indifferently  civilized,  miser 
ably  governed,  their  thin  populations  unedu 
cated,  thriftless,  superstitious,  bigoted.  Said 
the  Herr: 

"If  our  Germany  had  had  full  access  to  that 
half  hemisphere  it  would  be  in  a  full  blaze 
of  progress.  It  would  be  affording  prosper 
ous  homes  to  untold  millions  of  Europeans 
now  packed  together  like  sardines.  The 
mines,  forests,  rich  soils,  grazing  lands,  would 
have  long  ago  been  completely  opened  up, 
tilled,  occupied,  for  the  benefit  of  man  who  is 
still,  in  the  main,  inadequately  fed  and  clothed. 
We  Germans  can,  admittedly,  manufacture 
cheaper  and  better  goods  than  anyone.  We 
ought  to  be  free  in  our  way  and  by  our  own 
methods  to  supply  those  Americas  with  the 
necessities  and  comforts  of  civilization  and 
make  them  rich  and  happy. 

"Their  mongrel  races  are  poverty  stricken, 
disease  stricken,  and  often  fighting  among 
themselves.  The  United  States  does  little  for 
them.  Nor  will  she  let  anyone  else.  She  plays 
the  dog  in  the  manger  to  the  detriment  of  the 
world.  And  this  is  because  she  is  vain,  timid 
and  without  plan.  Is  that  logical,  wise  and 


244  VILLA  ELSA 

serving  mankind  for  the  best?  Were  condi 
tions  reversed,  would  she  herself  favor  such 
a  backward,  lagging  programme?" 

Kirtley  admitted  to  himself  that  this  was  a 
very  good  and  valid  point  of  view  for  Ger 
mans.  He  recognized  its  general  source,  for 
the  Buchers,  in  the  Dresden  newspapers. 
But  he  did  not  enter  into  argument.  He  had 
satisfied  himself  that  argument  with  Teutons, 
who  do  not  have  open  minds,  who  are 
obsessed  by  fixed  ideas  bored  into  them,  can 
only  end  in  unpleasantness — a  row.  He  had 
come  to  Germany  to  learn.  It  would  be  de 
feating  this  purpose  to  air  what  notions  he 
might  have. 

In  Villa  Elsa  itself  a  good  deal  of  the  feast 
ing  in  April  and  May  was  carried  on  in  the 
garden  where  flowers  and  dogs  completed  the 
picture,  together  with  much  open-air  singing 
accompanied  by  the  piano  up  in  the  salon. 
Were  it  not  for  the  musical  cult,  it  would  have 
been  difficult,  Gard  had  concluded,  to  live  in 
this  household.  As  Anderson  said,  music  had 
in  a  degree  tamed  the  German  "beast"  of  the 
north  and  made  it  possible  to  get  on  with  him 
at  all.  Music  rather  than  woman,  religion,  or 


VILLA  ELSA  OUTDOORS  245 

the  ideal  of  social  intercourse,  had  partly 
softened  him. 

The  Bucher  sons  liked  to  come  to  table  out 
doors  with  spurs  or  side  arms,  and  the  Herr's 
favorite  hunting  equipment  was  often  in  evi 
dence,  recalling  to  him  days  of  valiant  sport. 
With  their  stiff  and  long  strides  they  affected 
to  be  larger,  greater,  than  other  males.  Su 
permen  in  the  form  of  Goliaths!  The  women 
loved  the  sight  of  such  warlike  paraphernalia. 
Such  things  added  zest  to  the  joyous  toast — 
Der  Tag!  But  none  of  these  heroes  had  yet 
killed  anyone  or  anything,  so  far  as  Kirtley 
discovered. 

In  warm  weather  Villa  Elsa  did  not  relax  in 
the  matter  of  six  daily  repasts.  Breakfast  at 
half-past  seven.  Bread,  slices  of  cold  meat 
and  something  in  addition,  at  eleven. 
Luncheon  at  one,  hearty  enough  for  a  dinner. 
At  half -past  four  Indies  beer  and  tea  with 
Butterbrods.  Dinner  at  seven.  And  on  going 
to  bed  a  fortifying  supper  of  pigs'  feet,  sau 
sage,  cheese  and  other  manlike  delicacies, 
flooded  with  potations. 

Gard  had,  after  the  months,  adjusted  him 
self  somewhat  to  these  conditions.  He  had 
become,  he  thought,  more  used  to  the  German 


246  VILLA  ELSA 

way  of  living.  To  get  the  best  out  of  it,  he 
realized  that  one  must  coarsen  instead  of  re 
fine  the  senses  and  aptitudes.  Instincts  should 
be  strengthened,  roughened,  rather  than 
checked  or  made  more  esthetic.  The  German 
puts  a  heavy  hand  on  things.  He  takes  big 
bites  at  existence.  Thunderous  might  envelops 
and  clouds  his  idea  of  perfection. 


CHAPTER  XXXI 
A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY 

ONE  morning  early  in  June  when  Kirtley, 
who  had  been  away  the  afternoon  and 
evening  before,  came  down  to  breakfast,  he 
found  the  household  upset.  Something  bad 
had  happened.  Tekla  was  gone.  Rudi  was 
not  to  be  seen.  Frau  had  prepared  a  partial 
meal  and  Elsa  was  making  ready  to  sweep 
and  dust  and  tidy  up  the  rooms. 

The  parents  were  in  a  rage.  They  made 
no  bones  about  it.  Frau  blurted  out  with 
German  unreservedness : 

"I  packed  Tekla  off— the  animal.  She  had 
no  consideration  for  me.  What  do  you  think, 
Herr  Kirtley?  She  is  going  to  be  a  mother. 
And  by  Rudi.  Wouldn't  you  have  thought 
he  would  have  more  sense  than  this — right 
here  at  home — break  up  my  service?  He  let 
her  get  him  into  the  mess.  I  have  no  doubt 

247 


248  VILLA  ELSA 

it  was  her  doings — my  poor  Rudi.  We  have 
sent  him  away  for  a  couple  of  days.  I  told 
Tekla  to  go — be  off.  And  she  was  out  on 
the  street — like  that — with  her  bundle  of  be 
longings  under  her  arm.  And  here  I  am  with 
no  servant.  Ach  Gott!  they  are  all  cattle,  of 
course.  One  has  to  put  up  with  them." 

Herr  was  in  a  growling,  ferocious  state. 
He  blamed  Tekla.  He  blamed  his  Frau  for 
not  knowing  what  was  going  on.  It  was  the 
woman's  fault.  Everything  always  was.  His 
incomplete  breakfast  was  late. 

"Is  there  nothing  left  to  eat  in  the  house?" 
he  cried  out.  He  took  on  a  famished  and 
abused  air,  although  he  had  had  his  usual  six 
meals  the  day  before.  "Give  me  at  least  some 
cheese  and  bread!" 

In  this  manner  Tekla  was  roundly  de 
nounced  for  interrupting  the  course  of  family 
comfort.  That  she  had  mortally  sinned 
awakened  no  attention,  aroused  no  concern. 
There  was  no  sympathy  expressed  for  her  in 
her  condition,  no  responsibility  felt  for  her  in 
her  downfall  or  anxiety  about  her  future. 
Whether  she  would,  from  this  misstep,  have 
to  take  to  the  streets  for  a  living  occurred  to 
no  one  but  Kirtley. 


A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY  249 

Germans  are  little  wrought  up  about  such 
questions.  There  is  no  shuddering  as  from  an 
admitted  mortal  sin.  Natural  impulses  and 
facts  are  natural  impulses  and  facts.  Why 
should  one  be  squeamish  about  them  or  have 
soul  burnings?  In  general,  carnal  desires 
meet  with  no  great  fastidiousness  in  the  Ger 
man  domestic  circle.  They  are  rather  re 
garded  as  honest  and  healthy  like  desires  for 
food  and  drink.  The  Teuton  wife  is  ashamed 
of  barrenness  and  considers  it  proper  for 
women  to  be  fully  sexed  in  feeling.  Sexuality 
is  not  something  to  be  shrunk  from,  discour 
aged  or  denied,  but  is  a  candid,  copious  law 
of  Nature  to  be  recognized. 

When  Rudi  returned  shortly  from  Leipsic, 
where  it  had  been  deemed  best  for  him  to  retire 
for  the  moment,  he  appeared  as  conceited  and 
noisy  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  He  was 
not  cowed  or  penitent.  His  parents,  who  had 
got  Villa  Elsa  in  running  order  and  were  for 
getting  the  contretemps,  almost  beamed  upon 
him.  He  was  now  a  full-fledged  male.  Any 
lingering  uncertainties  as  to  his  completed 
manhood  had  been  effectually  removed.  His 
affair  was  viewed  from  the  standpoint  of 
potent  strength,  not  lapse  from  virtue.  Young 


250  VILLA  ELSA 

men  had  their  wild  oats  to  sow.  His  mistake 
had  been  to  disturb  his  own  household.  Had 
it  been  another  household,  little  heed  would 
have  been  given. 

In  the  Bucher  minds  the  satisfying  net  result 
seemed  to  be  that  another  soldier  (it  was  to 
be  hoped)  was  to  be  born  for  the  army,  for 
the  Kaiser.  Soldiers  had  to  be.  Tekla  was  to 
fulfill  her  highest  mission  as  a  German  servant 
girl.  She  was  to  become  a  just  and  constitu 
ent  part  of  the  swelling  Empire. 

Frau's  ideas  and  information  on  the  subject 
provided  Card's  journal  with  some  more  con 
densed  material.  They  were  talking  out  by 
the  garden  table. 

"What  becomes  of  the  German  servant  girl 
under  such  conditions?"  he  inquired. 

"Oh,  she  can  get  into  another  family  and 
go  on  as  before." 

"And  the  baby?  How  does  she  manage 
with  that?" 

"She  puts  it  out  among  poor  farm  people 
and  pays  a  little  for  its  keep.  As  the  mother 
usually  works  about  in  different  localities — 
sometimes  being  taken  far  away  by  her  em 
ployers — the  farmer  often  adopts  the  baby  as 
it  grows  up.  He  can  always  use  more  help. 


A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY  251 

If  it's  a  girl,  she  is  good  for  the  farm  as  well 
as  the  house.  If  it's  a  boy,  he  becomes  a  soldier. 
A  boy  of  this  kind  makes  the  best  soldier  be 
cause  he  has  no  parental  and  no  home  attach 
ments.  He  only  knows  the  barracks  and  has 
the  officers  to  obey.  He  does  not  learn  who 
his  father  is,  and  the  mother  becomes  prac 
tically  a  stranger  to  him  as  she  moves  about 
in  the  city  or  country.  He  is  ready  to  serve 
in  the  colonies  or  go  anywhere  or  do  any 
thing,  having  no  personal  ties  to  hold 
him." 

"Does  not  your  large  army  badly  demoral 
ize  these  social  conditions?" 

"You  know,  we  housewives  don't  like  it 
much  when  a  new  regiment  moves  into  the 
vicinity.  It  makes  mothers  among  our  domes 
tics  and  we  have  to  change  about.  Of  course, 
you  see,  we  have  more  women  than  men  in 
Germany  and  we  must  have  children  growing 
up  for  the  barracks  and  the  cheap  labor  mar 
ket.  There  seems  to  be  no  other  way,  but 
it  is  often  a  great  nuisance  for  us  housekeep 
ers.  Yet  there  is  this  to  say:  The  girls  rarely 
have  more  than  one  child  by  the  same  man. 
For  another  regiment  comes  along  and  there 
are  new  relations.  The  army  is  necessarily  a 


VILLA  ELSA 

floating  population  and  not  very  responsible 
for  what  it  does  among  us  civilians  because  it 
protects  us." 

Kirtley  concluded  that  this  accounted  for 
the  large  number  of  detached  young  men  in 
Germany — in  the  army  and  out  of  it — who  ap 
peared  to  be  so  entirely  footloose,  ready  for 
any  mission  or  task  in  any  part  of  the  globe. 
As  the  two  sat  there  talking  about  the  question 
of  lovelessness  in  these  relations,  Herr  Bucher 
strolled  up  from  his  flower  beds  and  joined 
them  in  his  Tyrolean  jacket  of  the  chase  and 
big  army  boots.  Gard  said, 

"We  were  speaking  of  affection,  Herr 
Bucher.  Why  do  the  Germans  have  the  ideal 
of  hate  when  other  races  are  holding  up  the 
ideal  of  love?" 

"Because  it  is  good  to  hate!"  exclaimed  the 
host  with  rugged  forcefulness  as  he  squatted 
in  a  seat.  "To  hate  is  strong,  manly.  It 
makes  the  blood  flow.  It  makes  one  alert.  It 
is  necessary  for  keeping  up  the  fighting  in 
stinct.  To  love  is  a  feebleness.  It  enervates. 
You  see  all  the  nations  that  talk  of  love  as 
the  keynote  of  life  are  weak,  degenerate. 
Germany  is  the  most  powerful  nation  in  the 
world  because  she  hates.  When  you  hate,  you 


A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY  253 

eat  well,  sleep  well,  work  well,  fight  well.  It 
is  best  for  the  health.  When  you  love,  it  is 
like  a  sickness  and  disorganizes  and  debili 
tates." 

"How  do  you  reconcile  that  with  Christ  and 
His  mission  of  love?"  pursued  Gard. 

"There  is  nothing  to  reconcile.  We  simply 
do  not  admit  all  that.  It  is  not  practical. 
Christ  was  not  practical.  He  had  no  family. 
He  made  no  home.  He  never  even  built  a 
house.  He  did  not  found  a  State.  He  let 
the  Romans  run  over  Him.  How  can  one  live 
in  a  cold  northern  climate  without  a  house,  a 
nation  and  an  army  to  protect  him?  No,  it 
is  not  at  all  practical.  Even  Christ  could  not 
defend  Himself.  He  was  crucified  without 
any  resistance,  any  struggle.  To  hate  is  to 
struggle  and  that  is  the  mainspring  of  action. 
So  one  must  prepare  himself  to  struggle  suc 
cessfully.  To  hate,  to  cause  to  be  feared,  are 
the  proper  motives  for  life.  They  are  life. 
Fear  is  a  stronger  and  far  more  universal 
human  motive  than  love.  Therefore  we  Ger 
mans  want  to  be  feared  rather  than  to  be 
loved.  So  we  hate  because  it  engenders  fear 
in  others.  To  love  is  already  half  a  surrender 
and  ends  logically  in  death.  With  Christ  the 


254  VILLA  ELSA 

real  victory,  the  real  heaven  aspired  to,  was  in 
death,  not  in  life." 

The  Herr  had  faithfully  read  Rudi's  con 
temporary  German  military  philosophers. 

Truly  this  was  too  strange  a  race,  Kirtley 
felt,  to  admit  of  any  levels  of  genuine,  unre 
served  association  and  companionship  except 
under  a  quasi  truce  or  other  provisional  con 
ditions.  To  form  a  perfect  union  with  it,  other 
races  had  to  adopt  its  attitude.  It  could  not 
and  would  not  adopt  theirs  until  some  sort  of 
a  Teuton  reformation  took  place. 

In  the  midst  of  these  repulsing  discords 
Card  was  surprised,  on  returning  to  his  room 
a  night  or  two  later,  to  find  by  his  table  a 
new  red  and  gold  copy  of  Heine's  verse  in 
closing  a  sprig  of  forget-me-not.  On  the  fly 
leaf  was  inscribed  in  a  youthful,  copybook 
hand: 

Immer  heller  brennt  die  Licht, 
Meines  schoen'  Vergissmeinnicht. 

Offered  to  her  meadow  pupil 
By  his  meadow  teacher. 

(Ever  brighter  burns  the  light 
Of  my  sweet  forget-me-not.) 


A  CASUAL  TRAGEDY  255 

The  Germans  are  not  original  in  love-mak 
ing.  Elsa  had  read  of  such  things  being  done. 
But  it  was  an  admission  or  advance  from  her 
as  unexpected  as  it  was  belated.  Gard  tossed 
about  awhile  on  his  bed,  thinking  of  it.  As 
he  had  often  acknowledged  to  himself,  he  had 
been  interested  in  her  more  than  any  girl  he 
had  yet  known. 

In  the  morning,  when  things  were  clearer 
in  his  consciousness,  he  assumed  that  her  en 
terprising,  calculating  mother  had  inspired 
the  gift.  For  it  seemed  to  be  apropos  of 
nothing  in  particular  at  this  unpropitious 
time,  although  he  had  made  Elsa  little  pres 
ents  during  the  fall  and  early  winter.  It  was 
evident  that  the  family,  after  the  arrival  of 
the  mirific  Jim  Deming,  had  grown  somewhat 
accustomed  to  Americans  and  had  at  length 
struck  a  sentimental  attitude. 


CHAPTER  XXXII 
A  GERMAN  MARRIAGE  PROPOSAL 

A  DAY  or  two  afterward,  another  little 
tragedy  visited  Villa  Elsa,  following  on 
the  heels  of  the  unfortunate  departure  of  Tekla. 
Ernst  came  home  at  lunch  time  with  his  head 
swollen  in  reds  and  purples  and  hardly  able 
to  walk.  At  his  morning  drill  his  sergeant 
had  knocked  him  down  by  a  blow  in  the  face 
and  then  kicked  him  in  the  knee.  The  little 
philosopher  was  a  good  deal  of  a  dreamer  and 
had  failed  in  strict  and  prompt  attention.  To 
strike  down  and  boot  the  rank  and  file  are,  of 
course,  a  normal  part  of  Prussian  army  dis 
cipline. 

Kirtley  was  incensed,  horrified.  But  to  his 
amazement  the  family  sided  with  the  officer. 
Although  Ernst  stood  in  grave  danger  of 
being  crippled  for  life,  they  were  ugly  in  their 
censures  of  him.  They  said  it  was  a  good 
thing  to  bring  him  down  from  the  clouds. 

256 


A  GERMAN  MARRIAGE  PROPOSAL     257 

The  poor  little  fellow  was  a  pitiable  object 
for  some  time.  He  not  only  suffered  pain 
fully  from  his  bruises  but  had  to  meet  the  irate 
looks  and  casehardened  bearing  of  his  parents. 
Brutality  made  soldiers  of  visionary  and  ideal 
istic  temperaments.  It  kept  the  feet  on  the 
earth. 

Card  thought  how  differently  an  American 
father  and  mother  would  act.  Their  sons  be 
longed  to  them  and  they  would  resent  any  out 
side  interference  that  smacked  of  cruelty.  In 
Germany,  the  boys,  as  already  observed,  be 
longed  essentially  to  the  Government.  The 
vicious  treatment  of  German  children  in  the 
home,  at  school,  in  the  army,  accounts  for  the 
unique  Teuton  institution  of  child-suicide. 
The  number  of  these  boys  and  girls  who,  be 
cause  of  their  hardships,  destroy  themselves  in 
despair,  is  shockingly  great.  The  statistics 
in  other  races  offer  little  in  comparison. 

To  break  down  the  will  by  abasing  youth 
before  its  comrades  and  elders,  to  lay  its  self- 
respect  low,  to  beat  dignified  individuality 
into  callous  insensibility,  manufactured  a  do 
cile,  automatic  unit  for  the  German  mechan 
ism.  The  peculiar  strength  of  Deutschland 
lay  in  this  early  control  and  training  of  its 


258  VILLA  ELSA 

young.  And  as  the  young  surrendered  their 
unimportant  consciousness  as  individuals, 
they  gained  an  important  consciousness  as  fac 
tors  in  the  State.  For  this  reason,  as  they 
learned  to  be  almost  servile  among  their  own 
folk,  they  became  domineering  among  for 
eigners. 

Villa  Elsa  now  was  true  to  the  adage  that 
misfortunes  do  not  come  or  loom  singly.  One 
forenoon,  about  the  middle  of  June,  Kirtley 
was  sitting  in  his  attic,  turning  over  in  his 
mind  the  fact  that  his  year  in  Germany  would 
soon  be  up,  and  endeavoring  to  explain  why 
he  felt  depressed.  The  recent  events,  it  was 
true,  had  created  a  very  unpleasant  condition 
of  mind,  but  his  body  itself  also  seemed  to 
share  in  the  inharmony.  A  dullness,  a  heavi 
ness,  had  begun  to  weigh  upon  his  physique 
and  yet  here  were  summer,  Nature,  the  green 
earth,  rejoicing  all  about  him.  It  was  odd. 
What  was  the  full  explanation? 

As  he  sat  there  thinking  somewhat  dole 
fully  about  himself  and  forgetting  his  opened 
books,  a  loud  knock  was  heard  at  his  door.  It 
was  Frau  Bucher  with  her  knitting.  She  had 
never  honored  him  with  a  call  in  his  room. 
Something  must  be  the  matter. 


A  GERMAN  MARRIAGE  PROPOSAL     259 

At  his  invitation  she  came  in  and  sank  into 
a  chair.  Her  face  and  hair  were  mussed.  She 
was  laboring  under  a  great  strain.  The  sons 
with  their  ill-luck  had  troubled  her.  The  re 
cent  mishaps  had  evidently  alarmed  her,  upset 
her,  so  that  it  was  now  the  daughter  filling 
the  mother's  anxious  hours. 

"Your  daughter — Fraulein  Elsa!"  Gard 
exclaimed  in  astonishment. 

"Yes,  my  poor  daughter.  Oh,  good  Herr 
Kirtley,  you  have  always  been  so  kind.  I  have 
treated  you  this  winter  like  a  son — just  like 
my  own  sons." 

"You  have  been  very  good  to  me,  Frau 
Bucher,"  interpolated  Kirtley,  hastening  to 
offer  any  consolation,  although  he  could  not 
imagine  what  distress  had  brought  her  to  him. 

"Well,  my  daughter — you  know  it  has 
always  been  the  intention  that  she  marry 
Friedrich — ever  since  they  were  almost  chil 
dren.  But,  mein  Gott,  the  poor  Friedrich 
does  not  arrive  at  anything.  We  love  him. 
All  our  friends  love  him — admire  him.  But 
he  can  get  no  fixed  position.  We  wait,  he 
waits,  Elsa  waits.  Always  hopes  and  more 
hopes  and  nothing  comes.  And  he  is  so  dis 
appointed.  No  Kapellmeistership.  Only 


260  VILLA  ELSA 

small  engagements  which  do  not  pay  much 
and  soon  end.  He  has  no  money  and  what 
little  we  have  to  give  with  Elsa  will  not  answer 
until  he  is  permanently  established. 

"You  see  Friedrich  is  a  courageous  fellow 
and  he  is  apt  to  speak  his  mind.  You  re 
member  how  he  mimicked  the  military.  My 
husband  and  I  think  he  makes  enemies  by  his 
impulsive  temper.  You  know  what  musicians 
are.  They  talk  right  out.  We  think  his  ene 
mies  put  difficulties  in  his  way.  And  so  noth 
ing  is  settled.  We  keep  waiting  and  here  we 
are.  Elsa  wants  to  marry.  She  wants  chil 
dren!"  exploded  the  artless  Frau, 

The  abruptness  of  this  confession  in  the 
matter-of-fact  German  way  almost  overcame 
Gard  with  embarrassment.  He  recovered  him 
self  at  length  to  ask: 

"Does  she  love  him?" 

"Ach  Himmel!  does  she  love  him?  Haven't 
you  seen  her  so  dumb  at  times?  But  nothing 
comes  to  pass — and  when  will  there  be  any 
thing?  She  gets  her  grumpy  spells  over  these 
postponements — always  postponements.  You 
know  young  people  are  impatient.  They 
don't  understand  such  things.  She  wants  to 
marry.  Every  young  girl  wants  to  marry  and 


A  GERMAN  MARRIAGE  PROPOSAL 

have  children.  I  may  die.  My  husband  may 
die  at  any  time.  And  she  won't  be  settled  for 
life." 

The  mother  went  off  in  a  vigorous  scene  of 
upheaval.  The  slender  and  youthful  Kirtley 
felt  himself  unequal  to  the  task  of  trying  to 
comfort  her  bulky  person  with  its  commo 
tions. 

"But  what  do  you  want  me  to  do?  Frau 
Bucher?" 

"We  all  love  America,  Herr  Kirtley!"  she 
burst  out.  "Elsa  loves  America.  Ever  since 
that  splendid  Herr  Deming  came,  we  love 
America.  And  we  feel  we  can  trust  you. 
Young  men  ought  to  marry  early.  Elsa  wants 
a  decent  husband  and  a  decent  little  home. 
That  is  not  much  to  ask.  Of  course  we  would 
hate  to  have  her  go  so  far  away.  But  you 
have  always  been  so  kind  to  her.  You  have 
shown  such  interest  in  her.  And  what  a  good 
girl  Elsa  is !  We  have  brought  her  up  so  care 
fully — and  to  be  a  good  wife.  She  can  cook 
and  sew  and  keep  house.  She  can  play  and 
paint,  and  also  sing  a  little.  She  is  strong, 
never  sick,  and  can  work — work.  All  you 
Americans  have  money.  We  Germans  are 
poor.  We  can't  give  her  much  for  a  dowry. 


262  VILLA  ELSA 

Excuse  me,  Herr  Kirtley,  but  you  see  I  came 
naturally  to  you.  Who  else  is  there?  We 
have  made  a  son  of  you  this  winter."  Then 
Frau  Bucher  almost  shrieked  out: 

"And  you  can  stay  here  always,  if  you  pre 
fer  that!" 

Full  of  her  brave  endeavor  the  mother 
bolted  through  the  door  without  any  ceremony 
of  leave-taking. 

Gard  could  not  collect  his  tumultuous 
thoughts  there  in  the  room.  At  last  the  whole 
secret  was  out.  Had  she  not  foresightedly 
kept  it  so  long  with  some  such  purpose  in 
view? 

Fresh  air  was  the  only  place  for  him.  He 
grabbed  his  hat  to  escape  other  fateful  con 
tingencies  that  morning,  and  made  for  the 
pine  park  where  it  was  silent  and  cool.  He 
walked  hastily,  with  his  hat  off,  along  the  path 
where  Elsa  and  he  used  to  stroll  while  conning 
together  the  passionate  lyrics  of  the  passionate 
Heine. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII 
A  WAITRESS  DANCE 

HE  went  on  and  on  through  the  firs  and 
hemlocks,  on  the  right  bank  of  the 
Elbe,  then  down  toward  the  city.  A  multi 
tude  of  convictions,  reflections,  impressions, 
flocked  in  his  brain.  After  awhile  he  seemed 
to  send  them  all  scattering  by  exclaiming,  "I'll 
be  damned!" 

They  turbulently  regathered.  There  was 
the  sensual  ape  Von  Tielitz — they  would 
marry  her  to  him.  She  could  love  him,  pol 
luted  and  swinish  in  the  low  sinks  of  woman 
kind.  There  was  the  flatulent  Jim  Deming 
with  his  money — she  could  quickly  marry 
him.  And  at  last  the  ideals  Gard  had  nour 
ished  about  her  had  finally  tumbled  to  the 
ground  that  day  in  her  mother's  crude  offer 
of  bargain  and  sale. 

These  Germans !  They  were  outside  the  pale. 
They  were  the  midway  people  between  bar- 

263 


VILLA  ELSA 

baric  Asia  and  the  civilized  West.  America, 
millions,  pigs,  morals,  love,  brutality,  erudi 
tion,  proficiency,  obscenity — the  Teuton  race 
mixed  them  all  up  hopelessly,  without  rime 
or  reason. 

Card  walked  and  walked  without  realizing 
he  was  becoming  tired.  As  he  neared  the  city 
he  burst  out  again  with,  "I'll  be  damned!"  It 
was  all  the  resume  he  could  arrive  at.  He 
found  himself  finally  hungry  and  made  his 
way  to  Fritzi's  little  inn.  He  felt  almost 
beaten  out.  Was  he  really  well? 

The  middle  of  the  afternoon  had  come. 
There  she  was  fresh,  free,  like  a  hardy  wild 
flower.  She  trotted  back  and  forth,  curtsey 
ing,  chattering,  with  her  merry  heels  clicking 
on  the  tiling.  The  hot  sausages  and  Leb- 
kuchen  and  a  stein  were  hastened  in,  and  she 
switched  her  short  skirts  down  cosily  on  a 
bench  in  front  of  him  to  knit  and  look  out 
after  his  needs.  He  had  encouraged  such  op 
portunities  for  the  practice  of  conversation. 

"I've  been  looking  for  you  to  come  in,"  she 
lisped. 

"Why?" 

"I  wanted  to  ask  you  to  buy  a  ticket  for 
our  Waitress  Dance,  and  I  did  not  know 


A  WAITRESS  DANCE  265 

at  all  where  you  lived."  It  was  a  long  sen 
tence  for  her  and  she  giggled. 

"Number  5,  Wiesenstrasse,  Loschwitz." 

"Gott  imHimmel!    That's  way  off." 

"When  is  your  dance?" 

"It's  to-night.  And  it's  only  twelve 
marks."  She  fumbled  out  a  ticket  from  be 
neath  her  white  apron  with  a  maid's  agitation. 

"I'll  take  it,"  said  Card. 

"But  you  have  to  promise  to  go.  They 
want  every  ticket  holder  to  go." 

"Are  you  going?" 

"Of  course  I'm  going.  It's  all  us  wait 
resses.  And  it's  only  once  a  year.  The  wait 
ers  have  theirs  twice  a  year." 

"And  are  you  going  to  dance?" 

"Of  course  I'm  going  to  dance.  I  always 
dance."  She  perked  up  her  head  with  her 
young  red  mouth  open  in  almost  childish  puz 
zlement,  as  much  as  to  say,  "Why,  what  are 
balls  for?" 

Card  looked  down  on  his  fattening  supply 
of  smoking  sausages  and  honey  cakes.  A 
servants'  ball  might  be  just  the  thing  to  cure 
his  disgust  with  Loschwitz — with  himself — 
with  everything.  He  had  heard  Friedrich, 
Messer  and  Jim  Deming  exclaim  enthusias- 


266  VILLA  ELSA 

tically  about  these  popular  fetes.  They 
should  not,  it  appeared,  be  missed  if  one 
wanted  to  see  the  real  German  nature  let 
loose. 

"Well,  if  you're  going  to  dance,  I'll  go," 
he  promised. 

"You  bet  your  life  I'm  going  to  dance!" 
Fritzi  cried  out  in  the  Saxon  dialect's  equiv 
alent  as  she  sprang  up,  and  wheeled  off  to  wait 
on  a  new  visitor.  When  she  had  served  him 
she  sidled  back  to  Card's  table  with  a  doubt 
ing,  half -disappointed  air. 

"You're  fooling  me."  She  stuck  her  tongue 
out  on  her  upper  lip  in  peasant  bashfulness. 

"No,  I'll  be  there  as  sure  as  I'm  now  pay 
ing  for  the  ticket."  He  filled  her  fat  hand 
with  the  coins  which  it  could  hardly  hold.  She 
went  away  happy. 

The  ball  did  not  begin  until  ten,  to  give  the 
young  ladies  time  to  finish  their  dining-room 
duties  and  dress.  Kirtley  went  to  a  cafe  and 
watched  the  billiards  until  after  dark,  then 
slipped  out  to  Villa  Elsa,  jumped  into  his 
evening  clothes,  and  slipped  away  again.  He 
had  seen  the  royalty  dance.  Now  he  would 
see  the  common  people.  This  bustling  about 
was  cheering.  He  was  glad  to  go. 


A  WAITRESS  DANCE  267 

The  ball  room  was  big,  barn-like,  with 
green  branches  and  cheap  flowers  strung 
about.  Aprons,  napkins,  table  cloths,  bills  of 
fare,  and  other  insignia  of  the  waitress  profes 
sion  filled  in  the  local  color  of  the  decorations 
on  the  walls.  There  was  not  one  of  the  ever 
lasting  Verbotens  to  be  seen.  Alcoves  con 
taining  tables  and  chairs  ranged  around. 

The  entertainment  was  in  full  fling  when 
Gard  arrived.  As  the  night  was  warm  the 
doors  and  windows  were  open  wide,  and  fully 
as  many  people  seemed  outside  as  inside.  The 
throng  included  a  number  of  students.  The 
dancing  was  everywhere — on  the  grass,  in  the 
doorways,  in  the  dressing  rooms,  on  the  stage 
by  the  orchestra.  How  free  and  easy  com 
pared  with  the  Court  affair! 

Kirtley  took  refuge  in  an  alcove.  He 
fancied  he  would  before  long  spy  Fritzi.  She 
would  be  the  only  person  he  knew.  But  she 
discovered  him  first.  She  tripped  up  to  him 
with  a  green  cavalier  redolent  of  salad  oil  and 
beer.  She  was  very  proud  to  be  able  to  claim 
Herr  Kirtley  for  one  of  her  "sales."  Foreign 
ers  are  always  distinguished.  The  music 
struck  up  again  and  off  she  was  whisked  with 
out  saying  Aufwiedersehen. 


268  VILLA  ELSA 

She  next  came  up  hanging  on  to  the  arms 
of  two  dancers.  More  introductions.  All 
were  getting  sweaty  and  thirsty.  Card  invited 
them  to  sit  and  he  provided  Schultheiss. 

Fritzi  soon  settled  upon  this  spot  as  head 
quarters,  twirling  off  into  the  figures  and  re 
turning  with  different  companions.  She 
brought  a  girl  whom  she  wanted  specially  to 
meet  the  Herr.  The  girls  dived  into  the 
alcove,  then  out,  back  again,  and  hung  about 
flustered,  by  turns  bold  or  backward.  They 
did  not  know  whether  it  was  proper  to  see 
that  he  danced.  He  was,  of  course,  high  above 
their  class,  but  if  he  didn't  wish  to  dance,  why 
had  he  come?  Fritzi  wanted  to  be  polite  but 
the  situation  was  above  her  etiquette.  He  had 
been  so  kind  as  to  buy  a  ticket,  and  how  could 
he  have  a  good  time  without  joining  in  the 
festivities?  The  girls  nudged  each  other, 
balked  and  snickered. 

Card  saw  Fritzi's  awkward  restraint  and 
set  her  at  rest  by  saying: 

"I  can't  dance  the  German  way." 

"The  German  way?"  she  echoed  bluntly. 
"Why,  I  thought  everybody  in  the  world 
danced  alike." 


A  WAITRESS  DANCE  269 

"We  don't  whirl  round  and  round  as  you 
do,"  Gard  explained. 

"Well,  I'll  swear!"  she  clucked  incredu 
lously,  her  tongue  in  her  cheek  as  if  saying, 
"What  sort  of  dancing  can  that  be!" 

The  dust  and  streams  of  perspiration  began 
to  affect  everyone,  but  the  music  and  revolving 
exertions  grew  more  rapid  and  vigorous  as  the 
hours  advanced.  Beetles  and  bugs  sailed 
through  the  air  along  with  the  familiar  Ger 
man  odors  that  greeted  Kirtley's  nostrils. 
Everyone  became  freer.  Enjoyment  ran 
higher.  Men  shed  their  coats  and  women 
made  themselves  equally  comfortable.  It  was 
beer,  beer,  beer. 

When  Fritzi  had  seen  that  her  Herr  was 
not  to  take  part,  she  began  to  behave  toward 
him  with  a  more  bluff  unconventionality.  She 
made  him  acquainted  with  all  her  partners  and 
girl  friends.  She  confided  to  him  the  little 
jingling  trinkets  she  wore.  Her  face  ablaze, 
her  hair  tousled,  her  feet  keeping  on  the  floor 
with  difficulty,  she  looked  to  Gard  like  a  flam 
ing  masnad.  She  had  come  in  cheap  satin, 
and  also  in  silk  hose  which  she  particularly 
doted  on.  But  like  all  thrifty  German  maids, 
after  two  or  three  dances  she  divested  herself 


270  VILLA  ELSA 

of  these  and  put  on  stouter  stuffs  which  she 
had  brought  along  and  which  could  stand  the 
wear  and  tear.  The  possession  of  those  finer 
things  had  first  to  be  shown  to  gratify  vanity. 
Then  recourse  was  had  to  a  practical  basis  for 
physical  pleasure. 

Gard  mused  over  the  seething  picture  be 
fore  him.  He  knew  it  had  been  pointed  out 
that  while  the  Germans  are  lewd,  they  are  not 
dissolute.  They  do  not  let  their  duties  suffer. 
Their  ample  physiques  can  stand  hard  strains, 
and  a  night  of  revelry  is  followed  next  day 
by  a  prompt  resumption  of  tasks.  These 
young  folk,  tearing  about  like  disheveled 
satyrs  and  nymphs,  would  be  at  their  jobs  in 
the  morning. 

The  Teuton  does  not  waste  his  patrimony 
in  riotous  living  or  lead  a  lawless  existence. 
To  this  extent  the  influence  of  the  Govern 
ment,  in  its  way,  was  felt.  While  it  recognized 
that  the  forceful  animal  spirits  of  its  people 
must  be  indulged  to  keep  them  contentedly 
in  control,  it  set  its  face  against  waste  of  time 
and  of  belongings  in  any  prolonged  habits  of 
dissipation.  Thus  the  strength  and  material 
resources,  the  plodding  industry  and  economy, 


A  WAITRESS  DANCE  271 

of  the  race  were  conserved  as  well  as  ener 
gized. 

As  for  the  German  women,  they  are  not 
naturally  passionate  in  the  ordinary  emotional 
and  imaginative  acceptation  of  this  word. 
Their  passions  are  not  extended  by  any  radical 
complications  of  romance  or  ideality.  In  a 
sense,  they  keep  their  heads  in  any  indulgence. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV 

CHAMPAGNE 

AT  midnight  Kirtley  saw  a  remarkable 
sight.  On  the  stroke  of  twelve,  loud 
toasts  to  Der  Tag  were  suddenly  lifted  high 
in  air  as  the  orchestra  broke  forth  with  the 
Wacht  am  Rhein.  An  uproar  seized  the  as 
sembly.  "Gott  scourge  England!  Down  with 
France!  Deutschland  iiber  Alles!"  In  a 
twinkling  it  was  a  crowd  mad  for  war.  Beer 
mugs  were  smashed,  various  objects  of  ap 
parel  were  flung  far  and  wide.  Improvised 
orators — students — mounted  tables  and  began 
crying  for  vengeance  on  the  world  in  speeches 
which,  in  the  hubbub,  did  not  get  much  beyond 
preliminary  exclamations. 

Hatred  of  Great  Britain  stood  out  above  it 
all.  How  long  must  the  Fatherland  be  held 
in  check?  "Der  Kaiser!  Hoch  der  Kaiser!" 
The  popular  national  frenzy  had  in  this  spot 

272 


CHAMPAGNE  273 

ripped  off  any  bounds.  Burn,  sack,  violate, 
kill — Gard  heard  the  intimations — the  threats 
— of  all  such  frightfulness.  In  the  furor  he 
stood  up  on  his  table  to  get  a  better  view  of 
the  extraordinary  demonstration.  It  sounded 
fateful,  terrible,  like  descriptions  recited  of  the 
French  Revolution.  He  was  almost  awe 
struck.  At  its  height  he  feared  personal  vio 
lence  for  himself.  He  had  sometimes  been 
taken  for  a  Britisher. 

Anderson  was  right  again.  The  Teutons 
lusted  for  war  now.  What  a  spectacle !  The 
old,  old  German  hate.  This  very  lowly  class 
of  people — waiters  and  waitresses — had  noth 
ing,  would  be  the  very  first  to  face  severe  hard 
ships,  and  the  men  would  suffer  more  than 
any  at  the  front.  They  would  all  be  mainly 
the  ones  to  go  hungry,  be  cold,  be  killed.  But 
here  appeared  the  cannon  fodder  demanding 
to  be  shot  down  in  its  craze  for  Triumphant 
Germany.  It  was  hoarse  for  Victory  or  De 
struction.  It  was  drunk  with  its  physical 
power.  These  soldiers  were  angrily  impatient 
to  be  let  loose  like  hellhounds,  from  the  sullen 
fastnesses  of  mountains  and  swamps  behind 
the  Rhine,  upon  the  Christian  populations  be 
yond  in  the  great  plains  of  civilization. 


274  VILLA  ELSA 

When  the  tempest  had  passed  and  its  activi 
ties  were  dwindling  into  the  renewed  whirl 
winds  of  the  dance,  Gard  resumed  his  seat,  his 
head  beginning  to  swim  a  little.  At  last  his 
doubting  eyes  were  as  if  unsealed.  A  Vandal 
tribe,  a  great  and  powerful  Vandal  tribe,  still 
lived  in  the  world.  It  was  feeding  on  Conflict 
— the  food  of  its  ancient  bellicose  gods. 

How  was  it,  indeed,  that  our  trained  Ameri 
can  observers,  men  who  had  been  educated  in 
Germany  and  those  who  had  not,  never  saw 
anything  of  this  danger  that  was  boiling  in  the 
breasts  of  even  the  humblest  classes  of  Teu 
tons?  Yes,  Anderson  was  correct.  The  Ger 
mans  were,  after  all,  frank  enough  about  it. 
All  was  spontaneous  and  bold.  Egged  on  by 
their  military,  political,  educational,  religious 
masters,  the  populace  could  easily,  at  any 
time,  work  themselves  up  like  this  into  a  fran 
tic  state  about  conquest.  And  yet  Americans 
heard  nothing  of  it.  It  was  as  if  their  channels 
of  information  were  subsidized  under  German 
authority. 

At  one  o'clock  supper  time  came  and  Gard 
ordered.  There  were  Fritzi  and  another  girl 
and  two  young  men — all  very  profuse  in  their 
appreciation  of  his  hospitality.  The  popping 


CHAMPAGNE  275 

of  a  few  bottles  of  cheap  champagne  sounded 
in  his  ears.  He  was  in  the  swing  of  the  excite 
ment  and  could  not  be  outdone.  His  brand 
was  French,  of  a  fine  quality.  It  exhilarated 
his  brain  far  above  the  plain,  distorted  com 
monplaces  of  Loschwitz. 

After  supper  the  real  frolic  set  in.  The  true 
devotees  now  alone  remained.  They  began 
doing  fancy  twists,  with  legs  out  far  and  wide. 
Vests  came  off,  with  collars  and  ties,  and  femi 
nine  charms  became  as  familiar  as  an  old  story 
that  is  read  too  often  to  have  much  meaning 
for  the  senses.  To  Gard  it  all  now  appeared 
seemly  enough,  like  an  opera  peasant  ballet 
whose  frank  rusticities  were  excused  under  the 
inspiration  of  the  music. 

Fritzi's  hair  floated  loosely  over  her  shoul 
ders.  It  looked  to  him  even  brighter  than 
Elsa's.  Her  snug,  many-colored  bodice  be 
came  partly  unlaced  and  she  had  kicked  off 
her  tight  slippers  under  Card's  table.  In 
their  heated  condition  many  of  the  other  wait 
resses  were  dancing  in  their  unshod  feet.  He 
thought  it  very  natural  and  pleasing  when 
Fritzi  rushed  up  with  her  heirloom  of  silk 
stockings  which  she  had  removed  early  in  the 
evening.  They  had  been  her  grandmother's 


276  VILLA  ELSA 

who  had  worn  them  at  some  grand  baron's 
wedding  long  ago — the  sole  tradition  and  dis 
tinction  connected  with  Fritzi's  lineage.  One 
of  her  friends  had  been  robbed  in  the  dressing 
room  and  she  was  afraid  to  trust  these  precious 
articles  there  longer.  She  made  sure  that 
Gard  had  tucked  them  in  his  pocket  for  safe 
keeping.  As  she  hurried  to  rejoin  the  circles, 
he  saw  that  she  had  worn  through  the  bottoms 
of  her  dancing  hose. 

Whenever  that  feeling  of  discomfort,  which 
he  had  been  conscious  of  early  that  morning, 
surged  for  a  moment  through  him,  a  sip  of 
champagne  brought  quick  relief  and  gilded 
the  scene  and  his  spirits  with  its  necromancy. 
He  felt  dizzy  but  blissful.  He  became  drowsy. 
.  .  .  He  had  sunk  into  a  dream,  glorious  then 
ugly,  foolish  but  haunting. 

He  dreamed  he  was  an  armored  knight  of 
the  time  of  Charlemagne.  He  was  astride  a 
steed  caparisoned  for  battle,  and  was  riding 
southward  from  the  Alps  in  the  blazing  sun 
light,  along  a  white  road  amid  what  he  sup 
posed  were  the  gardened  plains  of  Lombardy. 
By  his  side,  in  similar  array,  rode  a  lovely 
blond  princess  of  the  North  with  a  wonderful 
luxuriance  of  hair — some  daughter  of  the 


CHAMPAGNE  277 

Frankish  race  of  fierce  and  resplendent 
Brunnhildas  or  Fredegondas. 

She  at  last  became  wearied  of  her  heavy 
armor,  the  length  of  the  journey  and  the  burn 
ing  sun.  He  assisted  in  extricating  her  from 
her  coat  of  mail,  and  took  her  over  into  his 
arms  asleep,  letting  her  armor  ride  upright 
on  her  charger  save  for  the  helmet  which  he 
fastened  to  his  pommel.  As  the  horses  kept 
onward  he  held  with  delight  her  lightsome 
body,  with  her  miraculous  tresses  entwining 
him  as  she  slumbered.  He  held  her  embraced 
in  tenderness,  for  had  not  she — a  princess — 
trusted  him  and  gone  away  with  him  alone? 

He  had  not  thus  ridden  with  her  far,  before 
his  eyes,  alert  in  every  direction  for  the  treach 
erous  enemies  of  the  land,  beheld  with  gaping 
fright  an  immense  black  serpent,  brilliant  with 
scales  glistening  in  the  scintillating  air,  slowly 
uncoiling  out  of  her  headless  panoply  that  was 
still  riding  bolt  upright  by  his  side.  He  glared 
down  at  her  in  the  certainty  that  she  had 
turned  into  a  twin  serpent  at  his  breast.  She 
lay  there  still  in  the  seductive  form  of  a 
woman.  But  she  had  turned  loathsome  to  his 
touch.  He  hurled  her  to  the  ground  and  the 


278  VILLA  ELSA 

next  moment  was  flying  on  foot,  afield,  in 
horror  from  the  spot. 

And  he  recalled  in  his  dream  how  woman 
and  the  snake  have  been  allied  in  legend,  re 
ligion  and  history — how  they  have  ever  been 
identified  in  the  minds  of  men.  His  beautiful 
queen  had  been  at  one  with  the  serpent  in  that 
suit  of  metal.  Or  was  it  only  Elsa? — was  it 
only  Fritzi? — with  their  amber  hair? 

For  what  seemed  a  very  long  time  he  was 
fitfully  trying  to  decide — when  he  slowly  made 
out  that  brawny  Frau  Bucher  stood  over  him. 


CHAPTER  XXXV 

RECUPERATION 

SHE  was  in  the  act  of  giving  him  a  potion 
for  a  raging  fever.  Once  he  realized  that 
Herr  Bucher  sat  silently  poring  over  a  book 
by  the  bed,  chucking  him  back  into  it  when  he 
tossed  out.  The  Bucher  children  occasionally 
appeared  on  errands  for  his  comfort.  The 
family  nursed  him  more  diligently  than  if  he 
had  been  their  own. 

Card  came  back  to  his  senses  rather  rapidly. 
He  had  found  himself  in  his  room.  He  was 
in  his  own  bed — that  German  bed.  Summer- 
tide  was  steadily  flooding  in  through  the  grate 
ful  leaves  of  his  linden,  and  brightening  his 
confining  walls.  His  narrow-gage  American 
digestive  apparatus  had,  it  appeared,  finally 
rebelled  over  the  broad  German  fare.  All  his 
eating  and  drinking  during  the  months  had 
proven  disastrous.  When  he  had  begun  to 

279 


280  VILLA  ELSA 

feel  bad  that  last  day,  it  only  needed  a  little 
champagne  to  bring  to  a  head  the  inevitable 
revolt.  And  so,  toward  the  end  of  his  year, 
he  was  physically  not  far  from  where  he  had 
been  on  coming  to  Deutschland  for  the  sake 
of  its  inspiring  virilities. 

He  had  plenty  of  time  to  wonder  how  he 
had  got  back  to  Loschwitz  from  the  Waitress 
Dance.  He  never  inquired,  never  learned. 
But  Fritzi  alone  knew  his  address.  He  had 
no  recollection  of  anything.  He  went  through 
his  pockets.  His  valuables  were  intact.  His 
money  was  all  there  as  nearly  as  he  could 
figure  out,  except  a  reasonable  amount  evi 
dently  used  to  pay  the  supper  bill  and  convey 
him  home.  Truly  those  considerate  servants 
had  not  acted  like  amateurs. 

He  finally  remembered  about  Fritzi's  hose. 
They  were  gone.  At  length  Frau  Bucher  said 
she  had  forgotten  to  tell  him  that  a  pretty 
young  woman  came  to  reclaim  them.  He  was 
ashamed  enough.  To  be  carried  to  his  room 
in  the  odor  of  champagne  and  with  a  girl's  silk 
stockings  in  his  pocket!  He — Gard  Kirtley! 
Was  this  the  low  estate  to  which  German  life 
had  brought  him? 

But   he   soon  observed   that   the   Buchers 


RECUPERATION  281 

cared  nothing  about  all  this.  Young  men,  as 
we  have  seen,  were  expected  to  go  on  larks. 
No  one  spoke  of  the  distressing  occurrence. 
There  was  no  disagreeable  testimony  that  he 
had  made  great  trouble.  No  looks  of  reproach 
attacked  him.  His  Puritan  habits  had  been, 
in  fact,  very  curious  to  the  parents.  They  felt 
now  that  he  was  a  youth  whom  they  could  un 
derstand.  He  was  true  to  the  proper  type. 

It  was  a  relief  for  him  to  know  that  he  had 
not  dropped  in  respect  before  any  of  the 
household.  He  believed  he  had,  on  the  con 
trary,  grown  in  their  estimation,  as  had  Rudi 
after  his  "experience."  The  poor  Herr  Kirt- 
ley  was  considered  a  much  abused  victim  of 
an  unfortunate  sickness.  Once  Frau  ex 
claimed: 

"Ach  Himmel!  our  sons  have  such  a  hard 
time  of  it!" 

When  he  began  to  eat  ravenously  after  his 
enforced  abstinence,  hearty  foods  and  heavy 
drinks  were  supplied.  It  is  the  German 
fashion  at  such  times  to  build  up  the  strength 
quickly  with  lusty  meals.  He  was  started 
promptly  again  on  the  road  to  gastric  ruin. 

Often  at  night  a  cold  sweat  would  bead  over 
Card.  What  would  he  do  about  Frau  Bucher 


282  VILLA  ELSA 

and  Elsa?  He  had  been  thrown  helpless  into 
their  hands.  Holy  Smoke !  Would  he  become 
a  German  in  spite  of  himself?  He  sometimes 
wished  the  Imperial  Secret  Service  might 
scare  him  out  of  the  country  as  had  been  the 
case  with  the  lucky  Deming. 

The  Buchers  had  likely  saved  his  life.  He 
had  been  brought  by  them  faithfully  back  to 
health.  How  was  he  going  to  repay?  What 
excuses  could  he  offer  when  the  time  came  to 
face  Frau's  proposal?  How  could  he  possibly 
make  his  escape  at  all  agreeably?  Was  ever 
a  fellow  in  just  such  a  pickle? 

And  here  was  the  ever-capable  Elsa  duti 
fully  bringing  his  viands  and  at  times  reading 
to  him  stories  from  Hoffmann.  She  was  like 
a  real  fairy  out  of  a  German  story  book.  The 
new  Heine  she  had  given  him  lay  there,  but 
neither  suggested  opening  it.  It  was  not  a 
thing  to  get  well  over. 

To  a  sick  man,  his  nurse  seems  heavenly. 
And  Elsa  looked  truly  golden  as  she  sat  there 
over  the  Hoffmann,  with  the  sunlight  stream 
ing  about  her  head.  In  Card's  phantasma 
goria  at  night  there  had  often  been  a  blond 
maiden,  dancing  and  lovely — but  mingled  at 
length  into  some  unpleasant  circumstance  like 


RECUPERATION  283 

that  connected  with  the  phantom  princess  he 
had  ridden  with  in  Italy. 

Ernst,  still  limping  from  his  beating,  came 
in  now  and  then  and  read  out  of  a  ponderous 
volume  on  the  Relation  of  German  Music  to 
the  Reformation.  It  was  full  of  intricate, 
plodding,  dull  detail  in  the  German  style, 
which  the  lad  found  of  interest.  But  Gard, 
despite  this  kindness,  could  not  make  much 
headway  with  it.  Smoking  was,  of  course,  per 
mitted  to  accompany  his  man-like  return  to 
health,  and  it  was  always  a  genial  hour  to  have 
Anderson  sitting  there  in  the  wreaths  of  nico 
tine  before  the  summery  window,  talking, 
talking. 

The  correspondent  came  several  times, 
bringing  comic  papers.  Gard  pleased  him  by 
saying  he  was  veering  round  to  the  journal 
ist's  way  of  thinking  on  things  German.  He 
related  the  Der  Tag  incident  at  the  ball.  The 
family  life  of  the  Teutons,  the  life  of  the  plain 
people — all  were  substantiating  the  essential 
and  alarming  truth  of  the  old  man's  beliefs. 
At  last  another  American  in  Germany  had 
been  found  who  was  experiencing  an  awaken 
ing.  The  result  was  a  mutual  appreciation. 

One  afternoon  they  were  eating  some  of 


284  VILLA  ELSA 

the  big  German  cherries,  and  the  fragrance  of 
Herr  Bucher's  rose  garden  below  was  engaged 
in  balmy  conflict  with  the  odors  of  cigars. 

"Well,  what  is  the  solution  about  the  Ger 
man  people?"  Gard  propounded.  "What's  to 
be  done  with  them?  Here  they  are,  indus 
trious  as  bees  and  as  fully  armed  with  stings. 
Will  a  war  cure  anything?  Even  if  defeated, 
won't  they  be  the  same  people?  Won't  they 
present  the  same  problem?  Won't  they  pre 
sent  the  same  menace  to  what  we  consider  as 
the  best  and  most  desirable  types  of  civiliza 
tion?" 

Anderson  did  not  interrupt  these  questions. 
When  they  had  all  come  out,  he  gravely  took 
another  cigar,  leisurely  lighted  it  and  turned 
his  chair  to  face  the  linden  at  the  window.  He 
spoke  very  mildly. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI 

THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER 

"T  HAVE  given  this  a  great  deal  of 
J-  thought.  I  have  read  a  great  deal  and 
I  believe  I  have  never  known  of  a  writer  who 
furnished  what  I  should  call  an  answer.  And 
that  is  the  most  important  thing — the  vital 
thing.  So  I  have  evolved  a  simple,  natural 
proposal.  It  is  the  only  proposal,  I  think, 
that  will  remedy  the  evil  of  the  German  nation 
— remedy  the  ugly  situation  that  hangs  over 
the  careless  earth. 

"We  know  that  when  young  foreigners  are 
educated  in  considerable  part  in  a  country, 
they  generally  become  at  peace  with  it. 
Everything,  in  fact,  draws  them  to  this  atti 
tude — for  instance,  their  excusable  satisfac 
tion  in  feeling  that  their  sojourn  abroad  has 
been  a  success  for  them  instead  of  a  failure. 
Any  foreign  instruction  makes  the  student 
more  of  an  intelligent,  cosmopolitan  sympa- 

285 


286  VILLA  ELSA 

thizer.  It  knits  together  warm  acquaintances 
abroad.  Every  Rhodes  scholar  is  an  ally  of 
England.  He  goes  forth  bearing  kindly  mes 
sages  for  her.  I  have  told  you  how  it  works 
with  our  Americans  coming  over  here  to  the 
German  universities.  They  nearly  all  become 
pro- Germanic.  And  this  is  one  reason  why 
our  compatriots  at  home  have  in  general  such 
a  downright  admiration  for  what  they  con 
sider  the  super-excellence  of  the  Teutons. 

"But  while  this  providing  of  the  German 
education  for  Americans  is  pulling  so  strong 
in  favor  of  Germany,  we  have  nothing  similar 
in  America  pulling  Germany  toward  us  and 
our  ways.  Young  Germans  are  not  sent  to 
the  United  States  to  study  and  to  lead  our 
lives  and  to  return  home  bearing  good-will 
and  good  reports.  They  stay  where  they  are 
and  become  more  narrowly,  intrinsically  Teu 
tons — irreclaimably  Teutons.  They  are  left 
with  the  undisputed  idea  that  their  system  of 
instruction  is  altogether  the  best,  as  proven  by 
the  spectacle  of  aliens  coming  here  for  school 
ing.  Why,  then,  should  German  lads  and 
misses  go  abroad  to  learn?  And  they  don't. 

"Now  as  long  as  this  state  of  things  con 
tinues,  the  German  race  will  remain  a  tribe 


THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER    287 

in  itself,  and  radically  at  loggerheads  with  the 
world.  It  will  be  hopelessly  separated,  un 
reconciled,  inimical.  It  will  be  strange  and 
opposed  to  everyone  else — everything  else. 
As  you  have  seen  yourself,  even  the  meanings 
of  the  most  common  and  essential  terms  are 
usually,  to  the  German,  the  contrary  of  what 
they  are  to  the  rest  of  mankind. 

"How  will  there  ever  be  any  natural  and 
genuine  meeting  of  the  minds,  fellowship, 
community  of  interests,  under  present  pro 
grammes?  For  centuries  civilized  countries 
have  been  living  side  by  side  with  the  Teutons, 
have  been  pursuing  education  ever  more  zeal 
ously,  and  still  the  German  brain  and  char 
acter  stay  profoundly  different  from  the  rest 
and  are  not  understood.  They  are  so  differ 
ent,  in  fact,  that  the  forces  of  war  and  destruc 
tion  must  be  maintained  as  against  them  and 
are  constant  irritants  to  thought  and  activity. 

"My  plan  is  this.  Young  German  men  and 
women  should  be  amicably  educated  abroad  in 
very  large  numbers — the  largest  well  possible. 
And  on  a  broader  basis  than  the  Cecil  Rhodes 
scheme.  In  our  country  they  would  become, 
from  youthful  association,  more  or  less  fond 
of  our  open  homes,  our  sense  of  democracy, 


288  VILLA  ELSA 

the  untrammeled  opportunities  to  go  and  to 
do.  They  would  see  the  advantages  of  these 
blessings — or  at  least  their  human  attraction 
— among  boys  and  girls. 

"Under  my  programme  these  Germans, 
still  adolescent,  will  return  home  and  a  little 
of  this  foreign  education  will  stick.  But  their 
children  will  do  the  same.  More  will  stick 
with  them.  Then  their  children,  and  still  more 
sticking.  After  fifty  or  a  hundred  years  you 
will  have  a  large  population  in  Deutschland 
thinking  and  liking  and  to  a  great  extent  liv 
ing  like  their  Christian  and  less  warlike  neigh 
bors.  It  will  be  a  tremendous  beneficial  ele 
ment  introduced  for  the  first  time  into  Ger 
many.  It  will  slowly  and  silently,  without 
friction  or  loss  of  self-respect,  accomplish  an 
internal  revolution. 

"Foreign  education  for  Teuton  boys  and 
girls !  That's  the  only  final  answer  I  can  find 
— the  only  true  one.  You  see,  a  war  will  never 
accomplish  this,  nor  tariffs  or  penalties.  Such 
agencies  do  not  change  human  nature  or  char 
acter  or  modes  of  existence.  They  antagonize, 
make  stubborn  or  resentful  or  malevolent. 
And,  unlike  other  races,  the  Germans  would 
always  remain,  as  they  are  to-day,  UNITED. 


THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER    289 

This  is  the  explanation  of  their  World 
Power." 

Anderson  stopped  as  if  waiting  for  a  com 
ment. 

"It  all  sounds  well  and  is  a  beautiful  way 
to  do  it,  but  how  is  it  practicable?"  asked 
Card,  who  had  listened  attentively,  impressed. 
"How  are  you  going  to  coax  the  Germans  to 
enter  into  this?  What  benefit  will  they  see 
in  it?" 

"You  are  right,"  returned  Anderson. 
"That's  the  difficulty  at  present.  It  can't  be 
put  in  operation,  as  I  see  it,  unless  Germany 
happens  to  be  defeated  in  the  coming  war.  If 
she  is  defeated  she  will,  of  course,  be  humbled 
and  temporarily  sick  of  fighting,  and  this  pro 
posal  could  then  be  readily  forced  into  adop 
tion  as  one  of  the  post-war  measures  looking 
to  the  quickest  rehabilitation  of  the  nation. 
Anything  that  will  put  it  on  its  feet  again 
soon  will  be  most  welcome  at  that  time.  Mean 
while,  the  instruments  of  war,  the  power  to 
do  damage,  must  not  be  left  in  the  German's 
hands.  As  long  as  he  has  them,  he  will  pre 
pare  to  destroy." 

"But  if  Germany  is  victorious,  as  you  seem 
to  think  she  will  be?"  suggested  Gard. 


290  VILLA  ELSA 

"Oh,  then  nothing  will  work.  It  won't  have 
a  chance.  What  will  there  be  of  all  this  to 
contemplate?  Germany  will  be  the  master 
and  its  semi-paganism  will  prevail.  The  mod 
ern  Teuton  tribes  will  begin  to  level  the  Chris 
tian  civilizations  to  the  ground  just  as  the 
Huns  leveled  the  Roman  civilization.  The 
Hun  disposition  in  the  German  must  be  eradi 
cated — must  be  destroyed.  Until  this  is  done 
the  world  will  always  have  these  Huns  at  its 
gates."  .  .  . 

It  was  now  July  in  the  year  of  everlasting 
tragedy — 1914.  Kirtley  must  leave  for  home, 
as  Villa  Elsa  knew.  He  talked  over  his  route 
with  Anderson.  His  interest  in  Charlemagne 
made  him  wish  to  see  at  Aix-la-Chapelle  the 
great  emperor's  tomb,  underneath  which,  ac 
cording  to  an  old-time  legend,  the  ruler  still 
sits  in  his  white  robes  of  state  in  his  marble 
chair,  looking  forward  to  resurrection  to 
power.  So  the  trip  was  mapped  out  through 
central  Germany. 

As  the  time  was  at  hand  for  Gard  to  an 
nounce  his  date  of  setting  off,  his  perplexities 
before  Frau  and  Elsa  grew  entangled.  But, 
happily,  their  knot  was  cut  for  him.  Von  Tie- 


THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER    291 

litz,  who  had  long  been  away,  broke  in  upon 
the  household  one  morning  with  glorious  news. 
He  had  received  a  commission  as  bandmaster 
in  the  army  with  fair  pay.  Most  unexpected. 
A  civilian,  who  could  make  sport  of  the  mili 
tary,  summoned  into  the  ranks!  What  could 
it  mean?  Something  must  be  in  the  wind. 

At  all  events  he  had  come  to  arrange  to 
marry  Elsa,  and  converted  the  Villa  into  a 
hubbub.  He  was  so  beside  himself  that  he 
appeared  ready  to  embrace  and  marry  the  first 
person  he  met.  He  was  also  officious  as  if 
conducting  a  rehearsal.  He  rushed  to  Card's 
room  and  overwhelmed  him  with  the  tidings. 
His  eye-glasses  kept  tumbling  off.  He  was 
upstairs  and  down,  in  the  flower  garden,  out 
at  the  tea  table,  and  now  and  then  he  rushed 
to  the  Pleyel  and  rent  the  air  with  its  exultant 
chords. 

The  family  turned  the  day  into  celebration. 
The  wine  cellar  was  opened.  The  kitchen  sent 
forth  its  hot  and  overflowing  dishes  hour  after 
hour  until  well  into  the  evening.  The  mar 
riageable  Jim  Deming  and  Gard  Kirtley  were 
to  Villa  Elsa  as  if  they  had  never  been. 
Frau  proclaimed  in  husky  sounds  that  she  had 
not  felt  so  young  in  thirty  years.  Luckily 


292  VILLA  ELSA 

Fraulein  Wasserhaus  had  gone  off  to  Bruns 
wick  to  visit  a  relative  soon  after  Dem- 
ing's  advent,  so  she  was  not  in  Wiesenstrasse 
to  encounter  this  joyous  climax  and  Card's 
preparations  for  his  eventful  journey. 

Elsa  acted  as  one  overjoyed.  It  was  what 
she  had  yearned  for  and  what  filled  the  meas 
ure  of  her  Teutonic  maiden  nature.  On  see 
ing  her  happy  like  a  yellow  mermaid  on  a  sun 
lit,  blissful  shore,  and  knowing  what  Friedrich 
was  with  all  his  talent,  Gard  realized  she  was 
never  for  him  or  he  for  her.  It  had  been  for 
him  a  vagary,  an  irresponsible  venture  in  ethno- 
psychology,  a  poorly  based  confusion  of  ap 
preciation  with  a  vague  notion  of  duty  inter 
mingled  with  sentiment. 

His  illness  had  cleared  his  intuitions.  The 
unalluring  defects  of  the  Teuton  systems  of 
love-making  overshadowed  his  own  defects  as 
a  suitor.  Elsa  had  been  as  truly  foreign  to 
him  as  the  German  habits  of  eating  and  drink 
ing.  In  thinking  of  her  he  now  knew  he  had 
always  been  conscious  of  her  nation.  The 
German  woman,  as  he  had  already  learned,  is 
sunk  into  her  race.  It  swallows  up  her  indi 
viduality.  In  marrying  her,  one  married 
the  whole  people — the  German  State — the 


THE  GERMAN  PROBLEM.    AN  ANSWER    293 

Kaiser.  One  became  possessed  not  only  of  a 
help-meet  but  of  an  aggressive  political  idea. 

Now  that  Gard  was  a  friend  instead  of  a 
lover,  how  much  easier  were  his  relations  with 
Fraulein!  Brooding  sensitiveness  and  re 
sponsibility  passed  into  lightsomeness.  The 
unnatural  and  crankling  proceeding  of  his  try 
ing  to  woo  a  German  girl  was  smoothed  away 
into  a  genial  indifference.  The  mental  picture 
of  Elsa  would  remain  as  one  that  had  at 
tracted  him  on  the  wall  of  his  German  memo 
ries.  And  like  the  hundred  maids  that  a  youth 
is  smitten  with,  she  would  gradually  blend  into 
the  dim  gallery  of  such  pleasant  visions  of 
Kirtley's  susceptible  spring-time — visions 
which,  in  all  men,  fade  sweetly  into  their  man 
hood. 

In  this  manner  the  cloud  of  Card's  awk 
ward  discomfort  in  speaking  out  or  acting  out 
his  answer  to  Frau's  virile  project,  had  melted 
away  before  these  lighted-up  faces.  He  felt 
as  if  a  fog  were  lifted  off  his  consciousness. 
He  was  glad  to  slip  out  thus  easily.  In  the 
lively  jumble  of  robust,  rejoicing  realities 
about  him,  he  seemed  to  have  emerged  from 
the  fringy  edges  of  a  daze. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII 

A  GERMAN  "GOTT  BE  WITH  YE" 

A  DASH  of  adventure  was  to  crown  Gard 
Kirtley's  farewell  to  Germany  as  it 
had  crowned  Jim  Deming's,  but  with  an  omi 
nous  wreath  of  the  tragic  instead  of  garlands  of 
the  comic.  War  was  at  hand,  yet  even  Ander 
son  did  not  see  it  plainly  enough  to  report  it. 
War  was  often  in  the  sky  in  Germany  and 
often  had  he  been  fooled.  The  Teutons  must 
be  sure  of  victory  and,  he  was  positive,  would 
avail  themselves  of  a  long  summer  for  their 
campaign. 

In  those  days  of  July  something  peculiar 
and  tense  hung  over  the  land,  but  its  sources 
were  untraceable,  its  form,  abstract.  The  un 
advised,  ordinary  people  wiped  the  sweat  from 
their  foreheads  and  said  it  must  be  the  heat. 
Kirtley  would  not  have  been  expected  to  inter 
pret  Friedrich's  surprising  engagement  in  the 
music  ranks  of  the  Landwehr  as  a  sign  that 

294 


A  GERMAN  "GOTT  BE  WITH  YOU"    295 

widespread  preparations  were  being  made  for 
the  fullest  onslaught  of  which  the  nation  could 
be  capable.  The  Government  was,  neverthe 
less,  quietly  laying  its  hands  on  all  its  young 
men — even  musicians  who  were  blind  in  one 
eye  and  could  not  see  out  of  it. 

Gard  was  glad  to  go  home  through  the  heart 
of  Germany.  Jena,  Weimar,  Erfurt,  Eise 
nach! — the  land  of  Goethe,  Schiller,  Luther. 
While  these  figures  were  discarded  from  the 
blatant  pageantry  of  the  armed  Empire,  the 
landmarks  associated  with  them  remained  to 
satisfy  the  vision,  and  he  could  tell  of  them 
to  dear  old  ignorant  Rebner  who  would  be 
waiting  to  hear  of  his  beloved  Deutschland 
which  existed  no  more.  Afterward,  Heidel 
berg;  the  trip  down  the  Rhine  to  the  spires  of 
Cologne;  and  then  Aix  at  the  western  border, 
where  that  august  sovereign  slept  in  a  haunt 
ing  majesty,  wrapped  in  the  mystic  grandeur 
of  the  Dark  Ages.  It  was  the  most  fitting 
and  impressive  place  on  the  frontier  from 
which  to  bid  adieu  to  Germania. 

In  gratitude  for  his  recovery  Gard  made 
handsome  presents  to  everyone  at  Loschwitz, 
accompanied  by  the  conventional  Edelweiss. 
Villa  Elsa,  in  turn,  was  profuse  in  its  expres- 


296  VILLA  ELSA 

sions  and  little  acts  of  good  will.  Herr 
Bucher  gave  him  a  queer  pipe,  and  the 
boys  furnished  the  smoking  tobacco.  These 
gifts  were  to  while  away  the  lost  hours  on  the 
tour.  From  Frau  came  a  flask  of  cognac  for 
use  in  case  he  were  dizzy  on  the  trains.  Frau- 
lein  bestowed  on  him  one  of  her  tiny  etchings 
showing  the  Elbe  with  the  Schiller  Garden 
where  all  had  spent  so  many  evenings. 

Card's  route,  his  through  ticket  to  the  sea, 
his  traveling  clothing,  were  subjects  of  daily 
conversation  at  the  table.  Although  the  fam 
ily  were  entirely  obliging,  Rudi,  odd  to  say, 
occupied  himself  the  most  about  the  trip.  He 
seemed  wonderfully  keyed  up  and  more  full 
of  military  talk  even  than  usual.  He  insisted 
on  seeing  about  time-tables,  hotels  to  be 
recommended,  the  favorite  dishes  and  brews 
to  be  called  for  at  each  stopping  place  for  local 
tone. 

Kirtley  was  pleased  over  his  friendly  atten 
tions.  He  wished  to  leave  with  good  feelings 
all  around. 

When  Rudi  helped  him  get  his  trunk  from 
the  store  room,  Card's  forgotten  passport  fell 
out  and  excited  the  other's  curiosity. 

"I've  never  seen  an  American  state  paper 


A  GERMAN  "GOTT  BE  WITH  YOU"   297 

before,"  he  remarked,  puffing  a  cigarette. 
"What  a  droll  looking  affair!  So  different 
from  ours.  Would  you  mind  if  I  just  glanced 
at  it?" 

"Certainly  not."  Anderson's  suspicions  of 
the  young  German  glanced  through  Kirtley's 
mind.  But  Rudi  was  a  thick-headed  boy,  and 
what  could  he  or  anyone  accomplish  with  a 
passport?  Gard  had  scarcely  been  called  upon 
to  use  it.  It  had  been  treated  almost  as  a 
blank  formality,  an  empty  courtesy. 

"You  don't  have  to  show  it  in  German 
towns — only  at  the  frontier?  Am  I  right?" 
inquired  Rudi  after  he  had  minutely  read  it 
through  as  if  he  had  been  an  official. 

"Only  at  the  frontier."  Gard  grew  wary. 
This  knowing  and  recent  familiarity  was  not 
becoming  entirely  agreeable.  It  would  be 
prudent  to  mystify  the  son. 

"But  of  course  something  might  happen  in 
a  German  town  and  I  might  need  it.  So  it's 
always  convenient  to  have  about." 

"Where  are  you  going  to  carry  it,  then?" 
pursued  the  other,  handing  back  the  ribboned 
paper. 

"Would  you  think  my  grip  would  be  the 
place?" 


298  VILLA  ELSA 

"Your  grip?  Yes,  that's  just  like  me.  I 
always  shove  everything  into  my  grip  at  last. 
See  here,  now.  I  have  none  of  my  papers 
about  me.  All  in  my  grip — even  in  the 
house."  Rudi  opened  to  view  his  inside  coat 
pocket  in  testimony,  as  if  he  were  an  impor 
tant  individual.  Gard  shifted  ground  again. 

"I  don't  know.  I  may  carry  it  in  my 
pocket — with  my  ticket.  What  if  I  leave  it 
in  my  trunk  after  all?  I  shall  have  to  open 
up  at  the  border  anyhow." 

The  subject  of  the  passport  kept  in  Rudi's 
mind.  Three  days  later  he  called  out  to  Gard: 

"I  have  been  thinking  it  over  and  I  believe 
you  should  carry  your  passport  in  your  grip. 
It  may  slip  out  of  your  pocket  while  you  are 
dozing  in  the  train." 

"Danke  schoen!"  said  Gard. 

The  parents  also  took  great  interest  in  the 
matter.  The  paper  ought  to  be  examined  by 
the  German  authorities.  Was  it  not  Herr 
Kirtley's  credentials  to  the  German  nation? 
Nothing  would  answer  but  that  Herr  Bucher 
and  Rudolph  should  take  it  in  town  and  see 
that  the  proper  officials  were  duly  cognizant. 
It  was  another  evidence  to  Gard  that  a  Teuton 
is  not  content  until  his  Government  is  given 


A  GERMAN  "GOTT  BE  WITH  YOU"    299 

an  opportunity  to  approve.  The  document 
seemed  so  vital  to  Villa  Elsa  that  Gard  men 
tioned  it  to  Anderson  in  the  way  of  gossip. 

"Don't  leave  it  in  your  trunk  or  grip,"  cau 
tioned  the  elder.  "Keep  it  on  your  person. 
Sew  it  on  your  shirt,  by  golly.  One  never 
needs  a  passport,  you  know,  and  then  you 
need  it  like  the  devil.  I've  heard  of  two  or 
three  persons  this  month  who  got  separated 
from  their  passports  and  were  in  trouble. 
Something  seems  to  be  really  going  on  under 
the  surface.  But  spring  is  the  classic  time  for 
war  as  well  as  love  to  break  out." 

Gard  decided  to  follow  Anderson's  advice 
and  keep  the  parchment  in  his  innermost 
pocket.  He  also  checked  his  trunk  through  to 
the  frontier,  contrary  to  Rudi's  suggestion. 
He  said  nothing  of  these  changes,  yet  he 
was  far  from  thinking  that  the  hand  of  the 
Goth  would  dare  to  reach  out  after  him — a 
friendly  foreigner  and  guest  leaving  this 
peaceful  hearthstone,  so  effusive  in  its  amic 
able  leave-takings. 

Just  before  his  departure  he  felt  something 
of  a  restraint  in  the  household.  He  attributed 
it  to  the  social  stiffness  of  the  German.  This 
increases  when  intercourse  comes  to  a  point. 


300  VILLA  ELSA 

Affecting  moments  jolt  hard  in  him — mo 
ments  when  embarrassment  is  natural  to  all 
humans. 

At  the  gate,  for  the  last  time,  the  Herr  was 
energetically  smoking  his  long  pipe.  The 
Frau  frequently  wiped  her  sweating  face  with 
a  handkerchief.  The  boys  kept  kicking  away 
the  dogs  whose  barking  half  drowned  the  part 
ing  words.  Gard  said  good-by,  too,  to  the  old 
linden  by  his  window.  How  one  can  miss  a 
tree! 

And  Elsa!  He  flattered  himself  she  looked 
a  mite  regretful  that  he  was  going.  She  was 
starting  for  her  class  when  she  joined  the 
topsy-turvy  group  by  the  gate  and  waved 
her  creamy  hand.  Her  small  straw  hat, 
wreathed  fatiguingly  in  roses,  clung  desper 
ately  to  her  head  in  the  awkward  way  German 
women  have  of  wearing  headgear,  and  made 
her,  despite  her  blossom-like  attractiveness, 
seem  quaint  and  so  truly  German  like  the  rest. 
She  looked  to  Gard  as  pink  and  blonde  as  the 
year  before  when  he  had  first  been  dazzled  by 
her  glistening  hair. 

On  crossing  the  river  he  could  see  her  mov 
ing  down  their  meadow  path  where  Heine  had 
sung  to  him,  her  etching  materials  under  her 


A  GERMAN  "GOTT  BE  WITH  YOU"   301 

arm.  One  last  look  at  the  row  of  knightly 
castles  rimming  the  heights  above  her  and  at 
the  storied  Elbe  at  her  feet  as  she  hurried  along ! 
He  gulped  down  a  small  something  in  his 
throat,  and  turned  his  face  toward  the  station. 
After  all,  Dresden  had  been  a  year  of  his 
life. 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII 
A  JOURNEY 

AT  Eisenach,  bound  for  Frankfort,  the 
train  guard  punched  Kirtley's  ticket 
and  showed  him  into  a  compartment  that  was 
empty  save  for  a  military  figure  engaged  in 
reading  a  large  newspaper,  holding  it  firmly 
with  gloved  hands  before  his  face.  Although 
the  day  was  warm,  an  army  cap  was  clapped 
down  low  on  the  head. 

Gard  sank  back  on  the  cushions  and  closed 
his  eyes.  He  was  somewhat  fatigued  from 
having  climbed  the  Wartburg  whose  castle, 
famed  in  the  history  of  Luther,  lay  asleep 
there  like  a  long  and  oddly  shaped  beetle.  He 
soon  fell  into  a  doze.  When  he  became  con 
scious  again,  his  companion's  countenance  was 
buried  as  before  in  the  paper.  Underneath  it, 
gray  trousers  and  large  boots  protruded  in 
Kirtley's  direction  as  if  to  ward  off  any 
familiar  approach. 

302 


A  JOURNEY  303 

That  editorial  page  must  be  extensive  and 
absorbing,  Kirtley  commented  to  himself  as 
he  whiffed  the  refreshing  breeze  that  came  in 
his  window  from  Hesse  close  by  on  the  west. 
In  a  delicious  half -dreaminess  he  thought  the 
stranger  turned  the  journal  and  that  a  red 
dish,  be-whiskered  visage,  with  a  flat,  wide- 
lobed  nose,  popped  into  view  for  a  second. 

The  motionless  reading,  nevertheless,  con 
tinued  for  the  remainder  of  the  trip.  To  the 
sweet  July  zephyr  and  the  snug  landscapes 
flitting  by,  the  soldier  paid  no  heed.  How 
German  this  was ! — Kirtley  mused.  The  Teu 
tons  are  a  wintry  race  and  often  take  their 
summer  joys  in  a  hard,  hyperborean  fashion. 
He  could  not  but  admire  this  example  of 
physical  constraint.  The  iron  rigors  of  Prus 
sian  drill  had  made  the  best  army  in  the  world. 

Or  perhaps  this  was  some  queer,  abnormal 
chap.  Card  remembered  fragments  of  stories 
he  had  heard  of  comic  or  tragic  happenings  in 
the  separated,  locked  compartments  of  conti 
nental  trains.  But  the  tales  were  too  vague 
in  his  mind  to  pique  any  anxiety.  He  roused 
himself  and  took  up  his  German  newspaper. 
Muffled  war  scares.  Always  war  scares  more 
or  less  in  evidence.  How  dull  the  Teuton 


304  VILLA  ELSA 

journals  would  be  without  them!  Dog  days 
were  coming  and  brains  were  no  doubt  effer 
vescing. 

The  forty-eight  hours  in  the  rich  old  capital 
on  the  Main  were  full  and  Kirtley  had  almost 
forgotten  his  peculiar  fellow  traveler  from 
Eisenach.  What  was  his  amazement,  after  his 
guard  had  punched  his  transportation  and 
closed  him  into  his  compartment  in  the  train 
for  Heidelberg,  to  find  the  same  individual 
seated  alone  again  in  the  corner,  engrossed  in 
his  voluminous  and  stationary  paper ! 

This  began  to  be  disturbing.  Card  was  not 
more  brave  than  the  average  mortal,  but  fear 
had  not  really  been  born  into  his  bones.  Was 
this  some  weird  affair?  Was  it  a  spy  at  work, 
combining  German  earnestness  with  German 
farcicalness?  The  ludicrous  extremes  of  Jim 
Deming's  experience  flashed  over  Kirtley's 
mind.  But  he  felt  as  full  confidence  in  his 
innocence  as  had  Jim,  and  he  had  not  given  a 
Cinderella  party. 

It  was  a  short  run  to  the  celebrated  univer 
sity  town  on  the  Neckar  through  ancient 
Hesse.  What  would  Card  do?  This  was  a 
nonsensical  situation.  He  decided  to  crack  it 
open,  find  out  what  it  was  all  about.  He 


A  JOURNEY  305 

summoned  his  best  German  and  formally  ad 
dressed  a  casual  remark  to  the  stranger.  No 
answer.  He  did  not  hear. 

"Oh,  deaf!  Probably  dumb  too!"  Card  ex 
claimed  to  himself.  His  next  move  was  to 
step  across  to  the  other  window  for  the  evi 
dent  purpose  of  throwing  out  something.  A 
lurch  of  the  train  caused  him  to  stumble 
against  the  high  boots.  They  remained  mo 
tionless.  He  discovered  that  the  eyes  behind 
the  paper  were  fixed  in  a  stare. 

It  was  a  stuffed  figure! 

A  mere  puppet.  And  yet  a  thrill  of  alarm, 
for  the  first  time,  shot  through  Card.  It  was 
not  reassuring.  He  thought  of  Rudi.  Was 
this  some  official  prank  young  Bucher  had  set 
going?  It  would  be  like  him.  He  must  be 
a  spy,  as  Anderson  had  insisted.  Was  the 
son  trying  to  act  with  confederates  far  away 
over  here  near  the  Rhine? 

The  passport!  Rudi  and  the  family  knew 
all  about  it.  Kirtley  felt  in  his  inside  shirt 
pocket.  He  was  relieved  to  find  the  parch 
ment  still  there.  How  foolish  he  would  have 
been  to  leave  it  in  his  grip,  as  Rudi  had  urged ! 
A  traveler  couldn't  be  with  his  grip  every 


306  VILLA  ELSA 

moment.  But  why  was  such  a  paper  con 
sidered  valuable  by  the  Secret  Service? 

As  he  returned  to  his  seat,  Kirtley  gave  the 
legs  a  kick  "just  for  luck."  He  could  not 
help  laughing.  The  burlesque!  The  Ger 
mans  were  certainly  a  curious  people.  This 
was  like  some  fantastic  tale  of  Hoffmann  with 
its  marionettes  and  other  childish  stuff  so  dear 
to  the  race. 

It  came  over  him  that  this  image  was  thus 
being  conveniently  transported  from  one  town 
to  another  for  some  show — some  Jarley  wax 
works.  But  how,  then,  about  that  other  form 
in  the  train  from  Eisenach?  It  had  certainly 
been  alive.  Had  he  not  seen  it  turn  its  paper? 
Yet,  was  he  sure?  He  had  been  half  asleep 
and  might  have  imagined  it. 

As  he  revolved  the  matter  in  his  mind,  he 
was  less  and  less  positive.  At  any  rate,  how 
explain  the  fact  that  this  exact  figure  had  been 
on  the  two  trains  and  that  each  time  he  had 
been  with  it  alone?  How  was  it  known  here 
what  trains  he  would  take?  Only  the  Buchers 
were  advised. 

Whether  a  silly  hoax  or  a  performance  of 
the  tremendous  sleuth  system  of  Germany, 
Gard  was  too  unsettled  to  enjoy  fully  his  brief 


A  JOURNEY  307 

sojourn  at  Heidelberg.  He  decided  to  trip  up 
an}r  pursuers.  Instead  of  resuming  by  rail 
his  journey  to  Mannheim,  according  to  that 
section  of  his  ticket,  he  took  an  auto.  For 
every  reason  that  would  be  pleasanter.  He 
could  see  to  better  advantage  the  far-famed, 
vine-clad  valley  of  the  Neckar  where  it 
merges  into  the  wide  and  noble  plains  of  the 
Rhine. 

From  Mannheim  he  went  by  boat  as  pro 
posed.  His  be-whiskered  friend  did  not  put 
in  an  appearance  and  Kirtley  congratulated 
himself  on  the  riddance.  The  more  he  re 
flected,  the  less  he  made  any  sense  out  of  it. 
Coincidence,  practical  joke,  spy  system  at 
white  heat,  hallucination — all  suggestions 
seemed  equally  untenable. 

At  Cologne  he  found  the  newspapers  full 
of  discussions  about  war.  On  the  trip  he  had 
not  read  much.  He  was  either  sight-seeing, 
traveling,  weary  or  sleepy.  For  that  matter, 
the  public  generally  was  not  aware  that  fear 
ful  hostilities  were  imminent,  and  he  gave  the 
subject  no  keen  notice. 

There  is  not  much  to  view  in  the  city  of 
odors — Coleridge's  city  of  "two  and  seventy" 
smells.  Only  the  cathedral.  Although  the 


308  VILLA  ELSA 

museum  is  mediocre  Gard  dropped  in  there  at 
noon  to  fill  in  his  time.  After  wandering 
about  he  became  aware  that  there  was,  in  the 
distance,  another  visitor  whose  occasional  shuf 
fling  footsteps  first  attracted  his  attention 
among  the  eye-obstructing  objects.  Then  he 
saw,  at  times,  a  bulky  form  bending  over  some 
curiosity  and  contemplating  it. 

As  Kirtley  had  no  companion  on  his  jour 
ney,  except  the  military  scarecrow,  he  felt  a 
touch  of  lonesomeness  and  was  glad  when  he 
gradually  approached  near  enough  to  see  that 
this  person  was  a  kindly  looking  German  who 
had  the  wondering  air  of  a  sight-seer.  In 
their  leisurely  itineraries  they  at  last  met  in 
front  of  a  small  bronze  copy  of  a  Roman 
horse  marked  with  italics  in  Card's  guide  book. 

The  other  looked,  too,  as  if  he  wanted  to 
speak,  and  his  cheerful  countenance  invited 
Kirtley's  readiness  to  visit  with  someone.  The 
stranger  was  in  appearance  a  prosperous  man 
of  about  thirty-five,  blond,  with  a  very  small 
curling  mustache  under  a  small  nose. 
Though  he  kept  smiling  he  still  said  nothing, 
as  if  doubtful  of  a  first  advance. 

Gard  hesitated,  then  broke  the  ice. 

"I    don't    know    anything   about   Roman 


A  JOURNEY  309 

horses,"  he  essayed.  "I  can't  tell  whether  this 
is  a  good  thing  or  not."  The  other  was 
affably  relieved  and  was  soon  pouring  out  in 
formation  about  the  animal. 

"Excuse  me,"  he  ventured,  "but  I  raise 
horses  on  my  estate  and  I  know  a  little  about 
them.  The  Roman  horse  was,  of  course, 
smaller,  shorter,  stockier,  than  our  modern 
type.  Small  heads,  short  necks,  built  closer 
to  the  ground.  Just  like  the  Roman  himself. 
This  is  a  splendid  example." 

Seeing  that  Gard  followed  him  he  began 
again  with: 

"Excuse  me."  And  he  plunged  into  a  mi 
nute,  quite  exhaustive,  discussion  of  the  Latin 
specimen  before  them,  as  they  walked  round 
and  round  to  view  it  from  all  angles.  Kirtley 
had  never  before  realized  there  were  so  many 
points — fine  points — about  this  familiar  quad 
ruped.  The  German  showed  why  this  animal 
could  not  speed,  could  not  make  nearly  as 
many  miles  a  day  as  his  present  successor. 
But,  like  the  Roman,  he  had  endurance  and 
he  was  undoubtedly  easier  to  handle.  There 
were  the  withers,  the  haunch,  the  hock,  and 
a  score  of  other  features  upon  which  Card's 
new  acquaintance  held  forth,  introducing 


310  VILLA  ELSA 

almost  every  remark  with  his  rather  embar 
rassed  "excuse  me." 

The  astonishing  Teuton  erudition  again! 
Card  had  to  marvel  at  it  once  more.  This 
German  was,  by  rare  exception,  ingratiating. 
They  finally  introduced  themselves.  Herr 
Furstenheimer  of  Wuerttemberg — a  farmer. 
Card  concluded  he  did  not  dislike  Germans 
of  the  south.  Their  temperaments,  voices, 
manners,  are  somewhat  softer  than  those  of 
the  north. 

"I  haven't  been  in  Cologne  in  twenty 
years,"  Furstenheimer  explained.  "Just 
stopped  off.  I  wonder  if  you — I  see  you  too 
are  a  tourist — happen  to  be  going  my  way. 
Excuse  me,  but  that  would  be  odd, 
wouldn't  it?" 

"Yes — I'm  bound  for  Rotterdam." 

"Rotterdam — why  so  am  I!"  ejaculated  the 
German  in  a  happy  moment.  "I'm  on  my 
way  to  visit  my  sister  there.  I  haven't  seen 
her  for  years.  It's  really  shameful.  What 
train  do  you  take?" 

"The  two  o'clock.  I  wish  you  might  be 
going  along.  One  gets  somewhat  bored  travel 
ing  alone." 

"I'm  the  same  way.     I  like  company.     I 


A  JOURNEY  311 

had  intended  going  on  to-night,  but  this 
Cologne  one  hears  so  much  about  is  disap 
pointingly  dull,  isn't  it?  Nothing  to  see." 
They  conversed  in  German  to  Kirtley's  lin 
guistic  satisfaction. 

"But  I'm  stopping  off  at  Aix-la-Cha- 
pelle,"  he  had  to  say.  "That's  at  four.  Then 
I'm  taking  the  late  train." 

"What  is  there  at  Aix?  I  don't  remem 
ber." 

"I  want  to  see  Charlemagne's  tomb." 

"Oh,  so?  That  can't  be  duller  than  Co 
logne,  can  it?  I  don't  see  that  I  would  be 
losing  any  time  by  it  either.  I'll  tell  you 
what  I'll  do.  If  I  decide  to  join  you — and 
I  hope  I  shall — you'll  see  me  at  the  two 
o'clock.  But  if  I  don't — well,  Aufwieder- 
sehen! — let  us  hope — and  I  am  delighted  to 
have  met  you." 

Gard  was  gratified  when  the  sociable 
Wuerttemberger  arrived  at  the  station.  They 
went  on  to  Aix  in  a  compartment  full  of 
militaires.  The  country-side,  swimming  in 
the  sunlight,  lay  tidy  and  dimpling  in  the 
gentle  arms  of  a  peace  and  prosperity  that 
made  the  newspaper  talk  of  a  campaign  seem 
unreal  and  preposterous. 


312  VILLA  ELSA 

Furstenheimer  appeared  to  have  only  the 
interests  of  a  small  land-holder,  and  gossiped 
about  his  farm,  his  horses  and  prices.  He  was 
not  apparently  concerned  about  the  war  ex 
citement.  Agriculture  in  Wuerttemberg  was 
more  important.  Like  most  Germans, 
whether  there  was  war  or  no  war,  seemed 
much  the  same  thing  with  him.  Either  must 
be  taken  naturally  and  philosophically  like  a 
state  of  Nature.  Furstenheimer  was  not  fond 
of  being  away  from  home.  To  be  frank,  his 
brother-in-law  in  Rotterdam  had  got  into 
financial  straits  and  his  own  sister  was  ill. 
They  had  become  almost  strangers  in  the  long 
separation.  And  that  was  not  right,  was  it? 
He  really  had  had  to  go. 

When  they  arrived  at  Aix — the  German 
Aachen — they  decided  to  leave  their  grips  in 
an  inn,  across  the  station  Platz,  so  that  they 
could  conveniently  dine  there  and  be  near  at 
hand  for  the  express.  Then  they  started  for 
the  cathedral  which,  with  its  eleven  centuries, 
loomed  under  a  lofty  octagon  from  a  low  hill. 


CHAPTER  XXXIX 

THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE 

IN  a  few  minutes  the  two  travelers  reached 
the  side  portal  of  the  hoary  temple.  It 
represented  the  seat  of  Charlemagne's  politi 
cal  and  ecclesiastical  power — the  capitol  of 
the  ancient  Franks.  The  door  was  closed.  A 
service  was  being  held.  It  would  be  out  at 
five  o'clock. 

To  occupy  the  interim  Card  and  his  new 
friend  went  over  to  the  neighboring  town  hall, 
located  on  the  site  of  the  emperor's  palace. 
They  found  it  a  gay  Gothic  edifice,  the  roof 
flanked  by  two  pert  towers.  Inside  they  tip 
toed  about  with  silent  respect  in  the  immense 
coronation  gallery — one  of  the  largest  rooms 
in  the  world.  Here  the  medieval  German  em 
perors  were  crowned  and  imperial  diets  held. 

When  the  tourists  returned  to  the  cathedral 
they  met  two  young,  clean-shaven  Germans, 

313 


314  VILLA  ELSA 

obviously  travelers  like  themselves,  also  wish 
ing  to  enter.  One  was  tall,  the  other  short. 
While  waiting  for  the  audience  to  file  out,  the 
four  struck  up  a  casual  conversation  about  the 
edifice.  Card,  full  of  his  guide  book,  was 
pleased  to  inform  them  on  a  subject  of  which 
they  pleaded  ignorance. 

They  sauntered  into  the  somber,  august  in 
terior.  Above  were  the  impressive  stained 
glass  windows,  high-flung  in  the  octagon. 
Kirtley's  binocular,  strung  over  his  shoulders, 
came  in  handy  to  the  others.  The  Germans 
seemed  somewhat  posted  on  stained  glass 
(Teuton  erudition!)  and  with  Gard's  binocu 
lar  they  went  off  for  an  inspection  from  the 
exterior. 

He  preferred  to  remain  and  contemplate 
alone  the  solemn  scene  about  him.  It  was  an 
hour  he  had  looked  forward  to.  He  wanted 
to  recall  what  he  had  read  of  this  historic  spot 
and  the  epic  and  romantic  associations  here  of 
the  most  celebrated  of  Carolingians. 

In  the  mosaic  flooring  at  his  feet,  as  he  sat 
down,  was  the  tombstone  which  (in  the  tradi 
tion)  lies  above  the  imperial  victor  who  sits 
below  waiting  with  his  scepter  in  his  hand  and 
his  white  beard  ever  growing — the  king  of  the 


THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE        315 

Middle  Ages.  How  many,  many  potentates, 
great  and  small,  during  all  the  intervening 
centuries,  had  bowed  their  heads  and  spoken 
words  of  reverence  in  the  presence  of  the 
only  sepulchre  remaining  in  situ  and  intact  of 
the  world-conquerors  of  antiquity!  Of  all 
these  reputed  soliloquies,  that  of  Don  Carlos, 
in  the  spacious  Alexandrines  of  Victor  Hugo 
in  "Hernani,"  Gard  remembered  as  being  the 
most  famous.  He  had  heard  what  a  long  and 
impressive  recital  it  always  is  as  one  of  the 
tests  of  the  dramatic  actor  at  the  Theatre 
Francois. 

His  thoughts  ran  on.  Without  Charle 
magne's  military  successes,  his  widespread  re 
organizations,  the  political  and  civil  grandeur 
of  his  acts,  his  picturesque  journeys,  his  union 
of  church  and  state,  what  would  the  Dark 
Ages  have  been  ?  In  its  mountains  of  fact  and 
luring  mists  of  fable  he  had  stood  mighty  and 
solitary,  inspiring  its  imagination,  its  legends, 
its  superstitions,  its  songs.  He  was  its  compel 
ling  figure.  He  it  was  who  unified  medieval- 
dom  and  laid  the  bases  of  what  had  since 
governed  in  western  Europe  and  prevented 
it  from  remaining  a  vast  region  of  large 
and  small  tribes  fighting  among  themselves. 


316  VILLA  ELSA 

And  he  alone,  among  the  powerful  military 
chieftains  of  the  old,  old  past,  had  died  both 
peacefully  and  undefeated. 

Why,  then,  has  he  faded  from  view?  This 
was  an  interesting  question  to  Kirtley.  Why 
has  Caesar  so  outshone  Charlemagne?  Why 
are  Homer  and  Vergil,  in  comparison,  coming 
ever  more  to  the  fore?  Why  has  Dante  be 
come  the  masterly  profile  of  medievalism? 

A  significant  answer  had  before  occurred  to 
Gard.  These  four  personages  could  write 
marvelously  well  while  Charlemagne  could 
scarcely  even  write  his  name.  Had  he  been  a 
great  author,  why  would  not  his  fame  be  burn 
ing  brightly  like  theirs?  In  every  institution 
of  education  their  classic  language  is  kept  be 
fore  both  youth  and  professor.  Their  cults 
accordingly  grow.  While  the  Frank  so 
largely  shaped  the  Middle  Ages  and  furnished 
leading  motives  for  its  background,  the 
Italian  merely  pictured  it. 

And  yet  the  latter  has  become  its  most  dis 
tinct  luminary.  His  art  has  surpassed  in  re 
nown  the  medieval  sword  and  crown.  His  pen 
is  a  constant  self-advertiser  while  those  em 
blems  of  state  fall  to  the  ground.  Though 
every  spot  associated  with  the  lives  of  Caesar, 


THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE        317 

of  Vergil,  of  Dante,  is  sought  by  student  and 
sage,  the  tomb  of  Charlemagne  is  being  for 
gotten.  Who  knows  that  it  exists  or  cares? 
And  is  it  all  because  he  had  no  literary  skill? 
A  gigantesque  character,  surrounded  by  his 
romantic  paladins — Roland,  Oliver,  Ganelon 
and  the  rest — his  face  turned  alike  toward 
west,  east  and  south — to  France  and  Germany 
and  Italy — he  nevertheless  has  long  been  sink 
ing  into  the  ever-darker  shadows  of  a  dulled 
obscurity.  .  .  . 

Card's  friend  and  the  other  two  Germans 
presently  returned  and  interrupted  his  rumi 
nations.  They  had  seen  their  fill  and  were 
anxious  to  escape  from  this  gray  cavern  of  a 
dim  oblivion.  Outdoors  the  party  of  four 
found  the  sun  shining,  but  rain  clouds  were 
hovering  in  the  east.  The  strangers  had 
plenty  of  time  as  they  were  without  a  fixed 
itinerary.  They  were  very  agreeable  and  it 
was  suggested  that  all  dine  together.  Would 
not  a  stroll  in  the  environs  be  meanwhile  a 
suitable  diversion? — out  toward  the  attractive 
Lousberg  and  its  belvedere? 

Herr  Furstenheimer  had  indicated  an  in 
quiry  to  Kirtley  as  to  whether  he  would  like 
to  join  the  other  two.  Upon  his  signifying 


318  VILLA  ELSA 

affirmatively,  the  four  walked  northward.  The 
flat  face  of  one  of  the  young  men  Gard  fancied 
he  had  seen  before.  It  was,  however,  of  a 
somewhat  familiar  Teuton  variety  and  lost  in 
the  maze  of  all  the  German  visages  he  had 
seen. 

They  idled  along,  recounting  their  exciting 
experiences  in  traveling.  Gard  told  of  the 
wax  image  in  the  train  as  the  singular  incident 
he  had  to  offer.  As  it  did  not  appear  to  ap 
peal  to  the  curiosity  of  his  companions,  he 
dropped  the  subject.  The  Germans  are  used 
to  the  grotesque  and  egregious. 

At  intervals  the  company  changed  about  by 
twos,  their  hats  coming  off  frequently  in  the 
warmth  of  the  evening.  On  reaching  the  top 
of  a  small  ascent,  a  summer  inn  there  invited 
to  cooling  drinks.  It  was  a  low-storied,  strag 
gling  construction,  with  a  large  green  yard 
and  trees.  There  were  no  guests  as  yet  for 
the  approaching  meal  time. 

The  cathedral  acquaintances  took  one  side 
of  a  table  under  the  branches,  and  the  com 
panionable  Furstenheimer  with  Gard  faced 
them.  With  the  beer  they  began  comparing 
the  parts  of  the  world  they  hailed  from.  Kirt- 
ley  belonged  to  that  distant  land — America! 


THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE        319 

Incredible!  He  had  traveled  so  far.  It  was 
a  country  the  two  newcomers  wished  to  visit. 
They  could  not  credit  the  surprising  things 
they  had  heard  concerning  the  United  States. 
Ail  was  so  odd  there. 

The  smaller  German,  with  the  broad  face, 
having  lost  no  time  in  being  full  of  compli 
ments  about  Kirtley's  accent,  went  on: 

"You  Americans  learn  our  language  better 
than  we  do  yours.  I  could  never  get  the  th 
in  my  school.  You  seem  to  do  everything  so 
differently  in  America,  too.  Now,  there's 
your  great  game  of  cards,  for  instance.  I  was 
on  a  boat  once  going  down  the  Danube  and 
some  of  your  compatriots  were  playing  it. 
They  called  it — ach  Gott! — what  did  they  call 
it?  You  know." 

"Poker,"  said  Gard,  amused. 

"No,  that  isn't  it." 

"Bridge." 

"No,  the  devil,  why  can't  I  think  of  it? 
They  played  it — if  I  had  a  pack  of  cards  I 
would  show  you  what  I  mean.  You  could 
name  it  then." 

The  German  called  the  attendant.  The  lat 
ter  did  not  come.  The  other  hurried  into  the 
restaurant  and  came  back  waving  a  deck. 


320  VILLA  ELSA 

"Now  I  will  try  to  show  you.  I  can't  do 
it  well.  I  have  never  seen  it  but  once." 

"Monte,"  said  Gard.  It  was  not  the  name 
the  German  recognized.  Kirtley  laughed  over 
this  old  county  fair  acquaintance.  Three  card 
monte  under  the  walls  of  Charlemagne's 
church!  This  was  bringing  the  ancient  and 
the  modern  together  with  a  vengeance.  Fur- 
stenheimer  thought  the  game  was  droll.  He 
had  never  seen  any  played  like  that. 

"How  can  that  be  a  game !"  he  exclaimed — 
"only  three  cards!  You  must  have  left  out 
something.  It  looks  ridiculous.  What's  the 
point?" 

"Why,  you  bet!"  cried  the  dealer  who  was 
awkwardly  manipulating  the  cards.  The  two 
strangers  wagered  with  each  other,  and  the 
Wuerttemberger  at  last  got  interested  and  bet 
first  against  one,  then  the  other.  In  a  few 
minutes  he  had  lost  two  hundred  marks  to  the 
dealer,  and  acted  as  if  worried.  The  dealer  won 
also  from  his  associate,  but  not  so  readily. 

"A  gambler,  and  playing  clumsily  to  fool 
me,"  Gard  had  promptly  said  to  himself.  He 
endeavored  to  save  his  friend  from  falling 
deeper  into  the  toils.  He  nudged  him  under 
the  table,  but  the  Teuton  stupidly  understood 


THE  TOMB  OF  CHARLEMAGNE        321 

nothing.  He  kept  on,  more  and  more  dis 
traught,  losing  money,  then  groaning  about  it 
and  wiping  his  trickling  and  distressed  coun 
tenance. 

When  the  dealer  finally  saw  that  Kirtley 
would  not  wager,  he  grew  noisy. 

"Not  to  play  your  own  national  game — is  it 
polite,  I  say?"  He  flaunted  the  cards  before 
Card. 

"I  do  not  bet,"  Kirtley  repeated  as  pleas 
antly  as  he  could,  and  the  tall  German  tried 
to  quiet  his  mate. 

The  rain,  which  had  been  brewing,  pres 
ently  began  to  come  down  and  was  breaking 
up  the  sport.  They  agreed  to  dine  in  the  inn 
and  go  back  to  town  when  the  downpour  was 
over.  Card's  friend  squared  accounts — four 
hundred  and  eighty  marks  passed  across.  He 
looked  unhappy  enough.  But  the  dealer  was 
still  far  from  satisfied  because  the  American 
had  not  played.  The  German  had  won  from 
the  other  two.  Could  he  not  win  from  an 
American  in  an  American  game?  He  had 
been  eager  to  wager  at  one  turn  all  the  money 
he  had  gained. 

"A  pair  of  cheap  gamblers,"  Gard  repeated 
to  himself.  He  wished  his  foolish  friend  from 


322  VILLA  ELSA 

Wuerttemberg  had  kept  out  of  it.  They  were 
here  on  the  edge  of  a  strange  city,  in  an  un 
known  inn,  at  nightfall.  It  showed  that  Fur- 
stenheimer  was  a  green  country  man  who,  as 
he  admitted,  had  seldom  been  away  from 
home.  He  had  not  even  seen  his  neighboring 
Rhine  in  years. 

The  rain  was  now  pelting  them  and  they 
scurried  indoors. 


CHAPTER  XL 

THE  END  or  A  LITTLE  GAME 

short  German  had  worked  himself  up 
-  into  an  irritable  state.  He  led  the  way 
about  the  arrangements  for  dining,  his  tall 
friend  all  the  while  mildly  attempting  to 
soothe  his  ruffled  feelings.  Furstenheimer, 
appearing  much  crest-fallen,  meekly  followed 
their  wishes. 

A  private  room  must  be  had,  the  dealer  an 
nounced.  They  took  a  detached  one  with  the 
door  opening  out  toward  the  highway.  Each 
one  of  the  three  proposed  to  have  a  favorite 
dish  from  his  province. 

The  little  German  grew  more  fussy.  He 
condemned  the  restaurant  manager  and  got  at 
loggerheads  with  the  waiter.  He  must  at 
least  have  a  Mecklenburg  salad  as  he  came 
from  Mecklenburg-Schwerin.  The  waiter  did 
not  know  what  it  was  and  the  irascible  Teuton 
informed  him  bluntly  that  he  was  a  Dummkopf, 

323 


324  VILLA  ELSA 

The  card  player  would  make  it  himself  and  all 
must  do  him  the  honor  of  eating  it.  He  pro 
claimed  in  a  loud  voice  that  it  was  the  superior 
of  all  salads.  He  had  won  at  cards,  the  money 
stuck  out  of  his  pockets.  He  was  triumphant 
and  becoming  insolent. 

Kirtley  wished  he  were  out  of  this  company. 
He  opened  the  outside  door  a  moment  for 
fresh  air.  He  noticed  that  the  door  had  a 
spring  lock.  The  rain  was  coming  down  in  tor 
rents.  And  he  ought  not  to  abandon  his  naive 
friend. 

The  repast  was  begun  by  drinking  the  pre 
vailing  toast  to  Der  Tag!  His  companions 
now  talked  openly  about  the  threatening  war, 
and  Card,  who  had  not  seen  a  paper  since 
morning,  did  not  know  that  hostilities  were 
at  last  in  the  way  of  breaking  out.  From  the 
conversation  he  could  but  judge  that  all  Bel 
gium  and  northern  France  were  to  be  made 
German.  This  seemed  simple  and  inevitable 
through  all  the  blustering  and  bragging.  Eng 
land — America — did  not  appear  to  cut  any 
figure.  They  had  no  armies,  hence  they  were 
negligible. 

When  the  company  got  down  to  the  Meck 
lenburg  salad,  the  clamorous  German  expa- 


THE  END  OF  A  LITTLE  GAME        325 

tiated  about  it  at  length  as  he  began  his 
bustling  preparations  for  its  manufacture. 

"One  of  the  great  points  of  my  salad  is 
plenty  of  pepper."  With  a  flourish  he  grabbed 
the  little  pepper  box  to  suit  the  action  to  the 
words,  and  nothing  came  out.  It  was  empty. 

" Waiter,  waiter,  bring  some  pepper,  you 
stupid  Kerl.  Don't  you  know  enough  to  set 
the  table  properly?" 

Another  pepper  receptacle  was  brought, 
but  it  would  not  work.  It  was  stopped  up. 

"Gott  im  Himmel!  waiter,  you  idiot,  bring 
some  pepper  and  be  quick  about  it."  And  the 
swaggerer  began  abusing  him,  the  inn  and  in- 
ferentially  men  who  would  not  wager  in  a 
social  little  card  game.  The  servitor  raced  in, 
mad  and  muttering,  and  banged  down  a  big 
can  of  the  much  desired  condiment.  At  last, 
Gott  sei  Dank !  there  was  pepper  by  the  whole 
sale.  The  salad  proceeded  on  its  troubled 
course. 

"You  like  our  Germany — yes?"  was  in 
serted.  Kirtley  assured  the  three  that  he  had 
had  a  pleasant  year. 

"Our  Germany  is  a  great  country,"  ex 
plained  the  tall  Teuton  in  a  high,  cracked 
voice.  "And  after  the  war  it  will  be  a  much 


326  VILLA  ELSA 

greater  country."  He  was  flushed  with  drink 
like  the  other  two.  The  Germans  lifted  their 
glasses  again  to  Der  Tag,  and  Card,  their 
guest,  joined  in  half-heartedly.  There  was 
this  time  an  ugly  firmness  showing  in  the 
demonstration  that  he  did  not  fancy.  He  was 
frankly  uncomfortable.  His  companions  did 
not  like  it  because  he  drank  sparingly  in  spite 
of  all  the  vehement  urging. 

The  salad  proved  to  be  a  wonderful  dish, 
hot  and  strong,  fit  for  the  iron  stomach  of  a 
"blond  beast."  It  not  only  bit  but  was  pro 
vocative.  In  the  growing  conviviality  the  sub 
ject  leaped  from  salad  to  cards.  The  winner 
took  out  his  money.  He  began  shaking  it  in 
Card's  eyes,  insisting  once  more  on  wagering 
it  that  his  American  friend  could  not  pick  the 
card.  With  the  demi-tasses  and  cigars  he  or 
dered  the  deck  and  table.  He  started  the 
game,  having  locked  out  the  blockhead  of  a 
waiter  and  dropped  the  key  into  his  own 
pocket. 

Gard  would  not  play.  His  ire  was  rising. 
The  small  German  declared  himself  mis 
treated.  He  jumped  up  from  the  table  and 
burst  out  in  a  tirade  against  shoddy  Ameri 
cans.  This  brought  each  man  to  his  feet.  The 


THE  END  OF  A  LITTLE  GAME        327 

dealer,  violent  and  familiar,  put  his  hands  on 
Card. 

"You  are  a  dollar  American  and  dare  not 
bet." 

"Please  keep  your  hands  off  me,"  cried 
Kirtley  and  drew  back,  shaking  with  the  af 
front.  The  German  persisted  and  Card's  foot 
ball  days  stood  him  in  good  stead.  He 
knocked  him  down.  At  this  the  mask  was 
thrown  off. 

"Get  his  passport!"  yelled  the  dealer  on  the 
floor.  The  other  two  began  to  draw  weapons 
and  started  toward  Kirtley.  He  was  almost 
unnerved.  His  genial  Wuerttemberg  friend  a 
spy!  It  was  the  Secret  Service. 

As  he  stepped  back,  thunderstruck,  his  hand 
grazed  the  big  pepper  can  which  had  been  left 
on  the  side  table.  It  sent  an  inspiration 
whizzing  through  his  brain.  He  whisked  off 
its  unfastened  top,  grabbed  a  handful  of 
pepper,  and  with  a  swing  of  the  kind  he  used 
to  use  in  his  throws  from  left  field  to  home 
plate — let  go  with  all  his  force. 

The  aim  was  true.  The  pepper  swept  into 
the  eyes  and  mouths  of  the  two  men.  The 
other  was  half  lying  on  the  floor  near  their  feet 
and  he  also  received  a  dose.  Pepper  filled 


328  VILLA  ELSA 

their  side  of  the  room  and  blinded  them  as  they 
sneezed  and  groped  about  in  pain.  Gard 
bolted  for  the  outer,  self-locking  door  and, 
almost  before  he  realized  it,  was  out  in  the 
highway  in  the  rain,  heading  away  from  the 
city  and  in  the  direction  of  the  Dutch  border 
which,  he  knew,  lay  not  far  away. 


CHAPTER  XLI 
ARE  THEY  HUNS? 

IT  was  an  instinctive  move  to  get  out  of 
Deutschland — raucous,  hostile  Deutsch- 
land,  lying  athwart  his  soul.  But  his  grip? 
his  overcoat?  his  umbrella?  He  faced  back 
toward  the  town.  His  mind  was  in  a  tumult. 
No,  he  must  make  for  the  frontier  at  all  haz 
ards.  The  Germans,  whenever  they  recovered, 
would  naturally  expect  him  to  return  for  his 
articles  and  would  watch  them  or  have  them 
watched.  He  felt  for  his  passport,  money, 
trunk  check.  They  were  safe.  He  was  sure 
his  trunk  would  be  at  the  border  for  him.  He 
turned  about  and  began  running.  The  bel 
lowing  condition  of  the  agonized  sleuths  and 
the  locked  door  would  enable  him  to  get  a  good 
start  under  the  cover  of  the  darkness  and 
storm. 

When  almost  breathless  he  stopped  run 
ning  and  walked  forward  rapidly.    There  was 

329 


330  VILLA  ELSA 

no  travel  in  his  direction.  But  he  had  to  dodge 
frequent  oncoming  vehicles  with  men  and 
materials  of  some  kind.  They  were  being  con 
centrated  at  Aix — a  main  distributing  point 
for  the  invasion  of  Belgium. 

He  was  wet  through,  yet  hot  as  a  furnace. 
The  cooling  rain  was  grateful.  The  loss  of  his 
grip  and  things  would  be  inconvenient,  not 
serious.  He  began  running  again.  Then  he 
walked  as  fast  as  he  could.  He  was  more  and 
more  convinced  that  those  Germans  would 
count  on  his  going  back  for  his  belongings. 
They  would  not  imagine  that  a  dollar  Ameri 
can  would  leave  his  possessions  and  hoof  it  to 
the  Dutch  Limberg  on  a  night  like  this. 

His  brain  was  on  fire.  He  thought  of  every 
thing.  Furstenheimer  had  been  a  trailing 
sleuth.  He  had  fooled  Kirtley  completely. 
It  was  a  masterly  piece  of  work.  Gard 
metaphorically  took  off  his  hat  to  the  German 
Secret  Service.  Notwithstanding  the  Jim 
Deming  episode  and  Anderson's  animadver 
sions,  this  had  been  a  highly  expert  demon 
stration  of  the  art. 

Card's  mind  went  over  his  whole  trip  from 
Eisenach,  trying  to  find  where  his  suspicions 
should  have  been  more  aroused.  He  could 


ARE  THEY  HUNS?  331 

discover  no  loophole  where  any  unflattering 
dullness  on  his  part  was  particularly  at  fault. 
He  had  made  rather  the  most  advances  at 
Cologne  to  the  self-styled  Furstenheimer  with 
his  Roman  horse. 

How  casually,  too,  the  two  confederates 
had  been  picked  up  at  the  cathedral!  Their 
intelligent  interest  in  stained  glass!  Very 
clever.  All  had  been  wonderfully  clever.  He 
now  saw  that  when  Furstenheimer  left  him  at 
Cologne  to  decide  about  joining  him,  and  also 
when  the  three  had  gone  off  to  inspect  the 
windows,  there  had  been  ample  time  to  perfect 
their  scheme. 

His  passport!  What  on  earth  could  they 
want  of  that!  In  the  German  way  they  had 
used  a  steam  hammer  to  crack  a  hickory  nut. 
No  one  in  1914  had  an  inkling  of  what  service 
American  passports  were  to  be  to  the  Kaiser's 
Government.  The  world  was  soon  to  rub 
its  eyes  over  Germany's  treacherous,  fiend 
ish,  employment  of  chemicals  both  on  docu 
ments  and  on  humans.  Lackadaisical  man 
kind  did  not  then  dream  of  the  thoroughness 
and  elaboration  with  which  Deutschland  was 
preparing  her  many  deep  and  diabolical  de 
signs. 


332  VILLA  ELSA 

Toward  dawn  Gard,  pretty  well  winded 
and  in  a  bath  of  perspiration,  trudged  along 
more  slowly  while  his  thoughts  streamed  pre 
cipitately  ahead  under  the  pressure  of  the 
stupefying  developments.  He  now  knew  who 
the  little  German  was.  He  was  that  rigid, 
whiskered,  military  person  in  the  train  from 
Eisenach!  The  same  flat,  wide-lobed  nose. 
He  had  not  guessed  it  before  because  the  face, 
clear  of  a  beard,  had  really  suggested  in  Aix 
(he  now  realized)  that  of  the  typical  shaven 
Teuton  waiter.  But  why  had  the  spy  traveled 
in  such  a  stiff  and  mysterious  fashion?  Likely 
to  locate  the  passport — find  out  whether  it  was 
then  being  carried  in  the  grip  or  on  Kirtley's 
person.  In  some  way — probably  from  the 
manner  in  which  the  grip  had  been  handled — 
the  sleuth  had  convinced  himself  it  was  kept 
in  a  pocket. 

Although  Gard  could  not  clearly  make  it 
out,  the  puppet  must  have  been  an  ingenious 
device  to  mislead.  The  ridiculous  card  dealer, 
going  through  all  his  mock  part  with  such  des 
perate  earnestness,  could  very  well  have  con 
ceived  this  eccentric  project.  Would  anyone 
outside  Germany  have  believed  in  such  use  of 
a  stuffed  figure?  The  maneuver  succeeded  in 


ARE  THEY  HUNS?  333 

a  fashion,  for  Card  had  not  been  as  shrewd  as 
he  imagined  in  taking  the  auto  from  Heidel 
berg.  He  may  have  caused  a  change  in  tac 
tics,  but  he  had  simply  fallen  into  the  hands 
of  Furstenheimer  in  the  museum.  The  lei 
surely  stroll,  the  game  of  cards,  the  badgering 
over  the  betting,  everything,  had  been  fully 
worked  out.  Somehow,  through  it  all,  they 
were  to  deprive  him  of  his  state  paper — likely 
when  he  had  become  intoxicated,  as  was  evi 
dently  planned. 

But  the  revelation  about  the  Buchers !  That 
was  the  finishing  blow.  "Dastards!"  Card 
hurled  out  the  word.  It  was  not  only  Rudi 
but  his  parents  who  had  followed  his  leader 
ship.  The  son's  surprising  concern  over  the 
passport,  their  insistence  on  seeing  about  his 
route  and  his  ticket,  Rudi's  persistence  about 
suggestions  for  carrying  the  document — all 
was  now  plain.  It  must  be  that  war  was  com 
ing  and  Rudi  knew  it. 

Dastards!  To  betray  their  guest,  to  cause 
him  to  go  through  this  miserable  experience, 
endanger  his  health  when  he  had  lately  been 
in  a  sick  bed!  Their  kind  hospitality,  their 
flush  demonstrations  of  friendliness,  their 
little  presents !  This  was  the  final  mark  that, 


334  VILLA  ELSA 

to  Gard  Kirtley,  branded  the  German  as  only 
a  partly  reclaimed  Goth. 

Perhaps  the  atmosphere  of  restraint  he  had 
detected  in  the  Buchers  at  the  last,  amid  all 
their  cordial  expressions  and  deeds,  was  due 
to  the  changed  role  they  then  knew  they  were 
playing  as  against  an  American  "pig."  At 
their  frontier  all  human  relations — obliga 
tions,  honor,  amicability,  trust,  good  faith, 
religion — were  exchangeable  for  brutality  and 
dastardly  brutality. 

Yet  who  in  1914  would  have  believed  such 
things?  It  was  the  case  of  old  Rome  asleep, 
with  barbarians  swarming  in  Europe.  Gard 
kept  coming  back  to  the  sole  word  for  it  all 
— Hun! — in  the  Anderson  definition. 

And  what  to  do  with  the  Huns — about 
them?  Can  the  world  ever  get  on  a  gen 
uine,  fraternal  basis  for  living  with  them?  Can 
they  ever  be  made  to  become  like  other  people? 
These  questions  kept  surging  through  his 
mind  as  he  hurried  along. 

When  Holland  was  reached  that  morning, 
his  passport  was  declared  impeccable  and  his 
faithful  trunk  caused  him  no  trouble.  Al 
though  the  war  excitement  was  seizing  that 
region  he  fortunately  met  no  delay  in  getting 


ARE  THEY  HUNS?  335 

to  the  coast.  Once  out  of  Deutschland  he  felt 
amazingly  well  despite  the  weariness  of  his 
exhausting  night.  He  concluded  that  the 
vigorous  exercise  and  sweating  he  had  been 
through  had  steamed  out  of  him  the  vileness 
he  had  found  in  Germany.  It  acted  like  a  re 
juvenating  process.  Gard  now  seemed  to  him 
self  like  a  clean,  new  man.  He  was  to  be  a 
new  man. 


CHAPTER  XLII 

THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS? 

IN  England,  when  war  came,  the  confusion 
was  unbelievable.  All  that  Gard  had  seen, 
heard,  gone  through  in  Deutschland  proved 
the  awfulness  of  the  Force  flung  against 
Europe  which  had  stupidly  considered  itself 
civilized. 

He  was  burning  to  enlist.  But  what  a 
chagrin  to  find  his  services  not  wanted!  The 
only  satisfaction  he  could  get  lay  in  the  sug 
gestion  to  wait.  The  more  he  was  put  off,  the 
more  he  was  bent  on  reaching  the  firing  line. 

In  his  enforced  and  impatient  idleness  he 
took  out  his  German  note  book  and  began 
writing  letters  to  Rebner  in  America,  thus  giv 
ing  partial  vent  to  his  own  feelings.  The  fol 
lowing  brief  extracts  were  written  first  as  he 
went  about  different  camps,  offering  himself, 
then  at  the  front: 

336 


THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?  337 

England,  October,  1914. 

. . .  You  know  how  I  went  to  Germany 
at  your  urging,  with  every  favorable  im 
pulse  toward  the  Germans.  But  you  had 
little  idea  what  they  are.  If  our  fellow- 
Americans  realized  what  was  thought  and 
said  of  them  beyond  the  Rhine,  they 
would  be  in  battle  now. 

As  there  is  no  prospect  of  our  Govern 
ment  wanting  fighting  men,  I  am  trying 
to  get  into  the  English  service.  No  suc 
cess  yet.  .  .  . 

How  could  you,  my  good  mentor,  be 
so  in  error  about  the  race  from  which  you 
sprang?  Had  you  been  in  Germany,  the 
scales  would  have  dropped  from  your 
eyes.  You  have  never  lived  with  the  Ger 
mans  there — only  read  the  best  about  the 
"most  advanced"  of  mankind.  They  are 
so  different  from  our  American- Ger 
mans.  You  did  not  know  that  the  edu 
cated  Teuton  at  home  is  apt  to  be  dirty 
in  his  person  and  habits,  eats  writh  his 
knife,  walks  before  women,  kicks  his  chil 
dren  about,  has  coarse  or  vulgar  ideas  on 


338  VILLA  ELSA 

female  chastity,  enjoys  the  obscene,  has 
no  good  words  to  say  of  anyone  beyond 
his  boundaries. 

Pray  do  not  fancy  I  am  pretending  to 
chide  you.  Weren't  we  all  like  you  in 
America,  dazzled  before  what  apparently 
we  were  humbly  ready  to  admit  as  the 
super-race?  And  yet  in  a  multitude  of 
ways  it  is  so  obviously  a  people  set  off 
by  itself  in  much  barbarism.  There  is  its 
Gothic  script  which  offends  the  eye  some 
what  like  outlandish  runes.  Its  very  lan 
guage  growls  and  snorts  at  you,  sounds 
threatening  as  if  angry — pardon  me  for 
these  sentences!  There  are  its  mud-col 
ored  towns  and  architecture,  its  rude  life, 
rough  skinned,  hairy,  ferocious,  with 
tastelessness  prevailing. 

The  German  imagination  is  never  shot 
through  with  clear,  happy  sunshine.  The 
German  emotions  are  distinctively  ex 
pressed  by  thumpings  in  some  form.  The 
Teuton's  inability  to  see  himself  as  an 
other  sees  him — is  this  not,  above  all,  the 
stamp  of  an  under-civilized  people?  .  .  . 


THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?  339 

England,  October,  1914. 

.  .  .  Do  not  think  I  am  unduly  harsh, 
prejudiced,  revengeful.  I  am  trying  to 
write  in  measured  terms  of  what  has  been 
forced  in  upon  me  and  my  attention 
against  my  wish  or  expectations. 

I  have  met  but  one  American  who  said 
that  war  was  at  hand  and  knew  what  the 
Germans  really  are  at  home.  He  was  an 
elderly  journalist  in  Dresden  who  was 
jeered  at  until  he  almost  imagined  himself 
mentally  unbalanced.  Others  thought 
him  so,  at  any  rate. 

But  Anderson  was  a  true  prophet. 
Dear  isolated,  desolated  soul!  I  wonder 
where  he  is  now.  I  wonder  if  he  got  out 
safely.  How  I  wish  I  could  grasp  his 
hand  and  say,  How  wise  were  your  con 
victions  ! 

Like  myself  he  had  gone  to  Deutseh- 
land  to  admire  and  love  the  Germans. 
But  he  found  what  I  found — an  aston 
ishing  amount  of  ruthlessness.  How 
could  one  expect  that  the  ultimate  world- 
justice  and  world-humanity  were  to 
evolve  out  of  a  race  to  which  the  army, 


340  VILLA  ELSA 

armed  soldiers  and  statesmen  clad  in 
steel,  stand  for  so  much? 

How  could  anything  of  universal  good 
come  from  a  people  who  consider  noth 
ing  from  the  viewpoint  of  a  kindly  com 
mon  brotherhood?  Contempt,  intoler 
ance,  physical  force,  are  what  they  gloat 
over  in  international  relations.  I  discov 
ered  that  when  they  must  ask  pardon  or 
make  amends,  they  do  so  with  bad  grace. 
They  do  not  take  a  magnanimous  and 
frank  satisfaction  or  pleasure  in  righting 
a  wrong. 

You  would  not  believe  how  lacking 
their  character  is  in  the  capacity  for  peni 
tence,  for  atonement.  We  will  never  see 
them  sorry  for  any  of  their  present  enor 
mities.  The  still,  small  voice  in  them  has 
not  been  allowed  to  develop.  Their  notion 
of  ethics  is  so  different  that  it  is  inad 
missible  from  our  standards. 

To  be  sensitive,  grieve,  suffer  morally, 
is  apart  from  their  normal  consciousness. 
For  all  this  tender  and  beautiful  side  of 
human  nature  they  substitute  only  the 
discomforted  feelings  of  defeat.  No  mat 
ter  how  this  present  conflict  ends,  he  who 


THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?  341 

looks  for  any  sympathetic  actions  or 
noble  regrets  from  them  will  be  dum- 
founded. 


England,  November,  1914. 

Hurrah!  I  am  at  last,  after  disap 
pointments  and  frettings,  under  way  for 
Flanders.  Lo,  I  am  become,  as  it  were, 
an  Englishman!  The  British  now  see  the 
full  peril  and  are  taking  almost  any  kind 
of  men,  and  I'm  going  along.  I  suppose 
it  is  because  I  am  so  keyed  up  that  I  feel 
so  well.  I'm  surprised  at  myself.  I  guess 
I  must  have,  after  all,  a  little  good  Anglo- 
Saxon  grit  in  me. 

I  am  trying  to  write  this  scrawl  to  you 
on  a  round  milk  container  in  a  camp  near 
London.  We  are  not  permitted  to  tell 
where  .  .  . 

As  I  was  on  the  point  of  saying  in  my 
last  letter,  Jesus  is  never  a  watchword  in 
Germany.  The  Nazarene  meekness 
makes  small  appeal  there.  All  is  Gott. 
The  Teuton  regards  Christ  as  too  much 
of  a  weakling.  Had  He  an  army?  Could 
He  shoot,  as  all  Germans  can? 


342  VILLA  ELSA 

He  would  not  fight  and  therefore  was 
properly  destroyed.  If  His  foolish  ideas 
were  followed,  the  weak  would  eventually 
rule  the  earth  whereas,  to  the  German 
mind,  the  strong  should  manifestly  rule 
the  earth.  The  strongest  are  the  fittest, 
and  the  fittest  should  alone  survive. 

To  the  Goth  the  Christian  religion  and 
philosophy  are  baneful,  baleful.  As  the 
result  of  their  feeble  policy  was  not 
Christ  followed — the  Germans  claim — 
by  the  Dark  Ages  when  mankind  was  ob 
sessed  by  His  superstitious  worship?  Lift 
ing  men  out  of  this  morass,  the  proper 
practical,  scientific  and  warlike  forces 
came  at  length  into  play  and  we  have  the 
magnificent  modern  regime  whose  basis  is 
armed  strength. 

Hence — it  is  argued — Germany  came 
into  her  own  and  inevitably  leads  the 
world.  She  represents  the  perfection  of 
organized  physical  and  mental  powers 
which  are  the  antitheses  of  the  Christ 
ideal. 

And  so  you  never  hear  much  in 
Deutschland  about  Peace  and  Good  Will, 
Do  as  You  would  be  Done  by,  Faith, 


THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?  843 

Hope  and  Charity  and  the  greatest  of 
these  is  Charity.  Such  Christian  texts 
and  mottoes,  which  fill  our  American 
homes,  churches  and  public  places,  are 
little  in  evidence  in  Germany  because 
they  do  not  enter  into  the  life.  The  pop 
ular  nomenclature  is  pagan  rather  than 
Biblical.  Already  in  this  war  we  behold 
the  Kaiser  drawing  his  names  for  forts 
and  trenches  from  his  wild  pagan  myth 
ology,  not  from  Christian  sources.  And 
in  Deutschland,  acts  in  the  field  count  for 
so  much  more  than  words  in  the  pulpit. 

If  the  Huns  win,  Teuton  hate  will,  of 
course,  succeed  Christian  love  as  the 
human  creed.  Friendship,  as  we  know  it, 
will  largely  cease  to  exist.  Friends  will 
be  those  who  can  be  cowed  into  trucu- 
lence  or  bought.  There  will  be  no  truth, 
justice,  equity,  in  our  meaning.  Only  the 
will  or  whim  of  the  Emperor.  His  State 
Church,  with  its  worship  of  Him,  will 
grow  as  the  church. 

Everything  that  southern  and  western 
Europe  stands  for,  from  ancient  Greece 
to  the  northern  points  of  Scotland  and 
Ireland  (with  America  in  addition)  — 


344  VILLA  ELSA 

beauty,  loveableness,  the  brightness  of 
life  with  its  joyousness,  gayety,  grace, 
charm — will  be  stamped  down  under  the 
metallic  heels  of  the  Kaiser's  battalions 
and  bureaucrats. 


Boulogne,  January,  1915. 

After  what  I  have  written  you  from 
Germany,  and  since,  about  my  unex 
pected  disillusionment,  you  will  ask  me: 

"Well,  enough  of  this.  What  ought  to 
be  done  or  can  be  done  about  it?" 

I  am  thinking  about  a  solution.  Not 
original,  for  its  framework  was  suggested 
by  my  old  journalistic  friend.  I  will  send 
you  an  outline  of  his  idea  as  he  gave  it  to 
me  one  day.  All  that  he  said  and  prophe 
sied  has  come  so  diref  ully  true  that  I  have 
now  full  faith  and  confidence  in  his  vision 
and  practical  sense  on  the  subject  of  the 
Goth  race.  For  he  lived  and  observed 
among  them  seven  years. 

That's  the  great  point — living  together. 
And  I  do  not  mean  living  together  when 
people  are  mature  or  old  but  when  young 
— when  minds,  sympathies,  etc.,  are  plas- 


THE  ANTI-CHRISTIANS?  345 

tic  and  pliable.  As  long  as  the  young 
Germans  are  kept  home — never  sent 
abroad  unless  as  spies  in  some  form — the 
Teutons  will  remain  Huns. 

Granted  that  they  can't  help  it  if  they 
are  born  with  the  Hun  strain  in  their 
blood  which  their  education  or  instruction 
not  only  preserves  but  enrages.  Admit 
that  they  want  any  barbarism  eliminated 
from  their  veins.  That  would  be  an  im 
portant  point  over  which  our  world  should 
hold  out  to  them  the  glad  hand.  .  .  . 

Don't  be  offended,  but  the  best  thing 
that  I  learned  in  college  was  to  throw 
well  from  left  field.  At  any  rate  it  saved 
my  life,  I  suppose,  at  Aix.  And  I've 
grown  wonderfully  fond  of  pepper.  It 
braces  a  chap  for  this  Iceland  wind  that 
howls  down  upon  us  at  times.  We  call 
baseball  and  football  a  part  of  education. 
Good,  brave  things.  The  Germans  don't 
have  them  because  they  have  only  "in 
struction." 

From  what  I  observed  beyond  the 
Rhine,  education  is  a  growth  in  free  and 
liberal  countries.  As  we  are  seeing  in  the 
war,  German  instruction  turns  out  ex- 


346  VILLA  ELSA 

perts,  but  also  intellectual  monsters  and 
scientific  fiends — instructed  heathens.  .  .  . 
Strange  to  say,  I  don't  believe  I  could 
have  stood  this  existence  here  if  my  sys 
tem  had  not  got  a  good  cleansing  out 
when  I  was  sick.  I  am  all  the  time  think 
ing  about  the  Huns.  And  it  is  strictly 
necessary  hereabouts. 


CHAPTER  XLIII 

THE  TEUTON  PROBLEM.    A  SOLUTION 

Flanders,  a  Mudhole, 

February,  1915. 

.  .  .  Is  not  my  old  friend  Anderson's 
plan  the  only  natural,  practical,  efficient 
method  by  which  to  humanize  their  bar 
barous  instincts?  Assuming  that  they 
will  be  defeated,  as  they  must  be,  the 
Anderson  project,  as  you  see,  is  that  a 
permanent  arrangement  must  be  offered 
them,  and  if  necessary  enforced  upon 
them,  whereby  a  multitude  of  young  Ger 
man  men  and  women  shall  be  sent  yearly 
to  foreign  democratic  lands  to  live  and  be 
educated  there  for  a  period.  By  attrac 
tive  scholarships,  by  pecuniary  induce 
ments  or  by  any  of  a  number  of  pro 
grammes,  young  Germans  can  be 
tempted  to  this  step.  In  living  and  study- 

347 


348  VILLA  ELSA 

ing,  before  middle  age,  under  free  and 
liberal  conditions,  they  will  begin  looking 
at  foreigners  in  a  friendly,  or  what  we 
should  call  a  Christian,  manner.  After 
awhile,  after  generations  perhaps,  this 
leaven  will  work  in  the  thick,  tough,  sour 
Teuton  dough.  It  will  transform  the 
people.  They  will  gradually  become 
allies  at  heart  instead  of  remaining  hos- 
tiles. 

As  it  is  now,  the  German  eats,  drinks, 
bathes,  and  nauseatingly  does  other  ele 
mental  things  much  as  he  did  a  hundred 
years  ago,  because  he  receives  his  instruc 
tion  in  his  homeland  with  the  idea,  not 
only  complacent  but  aggressive,  that  his 
habits  are  the  best.  And  this  is  for  the 
reason  that  he  has  seen  no  other  kind 
when  young.  Do  you  think,  for  instance, 
that  a  youthful  German,  after  living  in 
the  freedom  of  our  young  sexes,  would 
return  to  the  Rhine  and  long  be  content 
with  the  iron-like  Teuton  customs  in  love, 
courtship  and  marriage? 

A  youthful  person  is  apt  to  admire  the 
people  among  whom  he  is  staying  a  long 
while  for  the  reason  that,  under  such  cir- 


THE  TEUTON  PROBLEM.    A  SOLUTION  349 

cumstances,  aliens  are  kind.  He  will 
always  take  pride  in  these  foreign  connec 
tions,  pride  in  what  he  has  learned 
abroad.  He  will  think  himself  more  for 
tunate  and  more  advanced  than  his  fellow 
stay-at-homes.  The  young  German,  be 
coming  used  to  more  amiable  modes  of 
existence,  would  naturally  become  more 
or  less  fond  of  them.  A  broader,  more 
human  social  spirit — the  true  social  spirit 
— would  get  a  hold  in  him. 

I  would  go  further  than  my  friend 
Anderson.  I  would  have  all  civilized 
countries  adopt  this  plan  with  one  another 
as  well  as  with  Germany.  The  trouble 
with  civilization,  as  seen  in  this  war,  is 
that  no  people  understands  or  truly  sym 
pathizes  with  any  foreign  nation — not 
even  among  the  Allies.  They  are 
strangers  because  they  have  been  kept 
strangers.  This  creates  suspicion,  envy, 
enmity,  for  they  have  not  in  any  notice 
able  degree  lived  together.  They  do  not 
know  one  another's  customs,  habits,  per 
spectives.  As  a  result,  armies,  navies, 
tariffs,  treaties  backed  by  force,  are  neces 
sary  to  hold  civilization  precariously  in 


350  VILLA  ELSA 

shape — and  at  what  colossal  effort, 
anxiety,  expense?  The  different  lan 
guages,  literatures,  arts,  educations,  re 
ligions,  should  become  familiar  to  large 
numbers  in  each  race  and  be  the  open, 
peaceful  highways  back  and  forth  instead 
of,  as  now,  barriers. 

Flanders,  another  MudUole, 

February,  1915. 

r.  .  .  I  see  the  woeful,  tragic  need  for 
this  international  co-education  all  around 
us  here  at  the  front.  The  Canadians, 
Australians,  English,  French,  all  quar 
reling  back  and  forth  and  pulling  against 
one  another  as  unfriendly  strangers. 

Germany  is  giving — has  given — one 
great  lesson  to  them  all  and  to  us  Amer 
icans  at  home.  And  that  is,  IN  UNION 
THERE  IS  STRENGTH. 

After  this  war  the  tremendous  question 
before  the  world  will  be: 

How  are  we  going  to  live  with  the 
Germans? — how  get  on  with  them? 

The  only  true  and  gracious  solution  I 
can  see  is — To  associate  and  study  to- 


THE  TEUTON  PROBLEM.    A  SOLUTION  351 

geiher  when  young!  Would  not  you — 
would  not  everyone — agree  that  this  in 
terchange  in  education,  which  would  not  be 
very  troublesome  or  expensive,  is  a  true 
manner  in  which  to  remove  from  the  Ger 
man  makeup  its  savage,  destructive  ani 
mus  toward  mankind?  In  order  really 
to  change  a  race,  the  work  must  be  done 
from  the  inside  outward.  And  this 
means  some  form  of  education,  not 
merely  victories,  edicts,  Leagues. 

Let  or  make  the  Teutons  be  associated 
with  gentler  cultures  than  their  own. 
What  if  it  does  take  a  hundred,  two  hun 
dred,  years !  What  is  that  compared  with 
having  the  German  problem  and  menace 
unsolved  in  the  future  as  in  the  past? 

Such  young  German  missionaries  year 
after  year,  as  I  have  indicated,  would  be 
bringing  back  something  of  sweetness  and 
light  to  their  stubborn,  irascible  folk.  The 
powerful  and  exacerbated  bias  of  this  folk 
toward  the  echt  Deutsch  would  be  neutral 
ized  and  mollified  under  the  contact  of  its 
youths  with  dispositions  making  for  kind 
liness  and  courtesy.  Confessedly  the 
stoutest  race  prejudices  lie  with  those  who 


352  VILLA  ELSA 

have  never  stepped  outside  their  own 
boundaries. 

It  is  true  this  plan,  in  a  small  way,  was 
tried  under  the  exchange  of  professors 
scheme.  But  the  Kaiser  won  out  in  that 
because  his  professors  were  too  old  and,  it 
develops,  were  simply  his  emissaries  with 
hostile  inclinations  and  intent.  It  would 
appear  that  most  of  the  young  Americans 
who  are  partly  educated  in  Germany  are 
pro-German.  Had  they  gone  to  England 
or  France,  they  would  be  pro-British  or 
pro-French. 

It  is  now  being  shown  that  the  Ger 
man's  education  or  instruction  does  not 
do  away  with  the  Hun  element  in  him. 
The  logical  thing,  then,  is  to  try  foreign 
education  on  him.  He  needs  to  learn  in 
other  countries,  and  to  live  out,  their 
meanings  of  good  faith  and  a  give-and- 
take,  manly  spirit.  For  he  at  present 
considers  it  right  to  have  no  respect  for 
his  own  spoken  word  to  foreigners,  or 
even  his  written  word. 

This  is  his  old  habit  of  the  tribal  fa 
natic.  To  lie  to,  to  cheat,  to  steal  from, 
to  kill,  aliens  is  no  admitted  sin  in  the 


THE  TEUTON  PROBLEM.    A  SOLUTION  353 

moral  decalogue  of  the  Germans  when  an 
advantage  can  be  derived.  Murder, 
senseless  destruction,  violation  of  women, 
obscenity,  do  not  therefore  horrify  them. 
If  you  as  a  foreigner  strike  the  metallic 
shield  of  their  character,  no  resounding 
ringing  of  what  we  know  as  conscience 
is  heard,  because  extreme  erudition  in 
Germany  largely  takes  the  place  of  moral 
feelings.  "Science  without  conscience  is 
the  death  of  man."  And  the  women  and 
State  religion  are  as  Hunnish  as  the 
males.  All  these  influences  make  for 
war. 

This  conscienceless  dullness,  or  im 
mense  hollowness,  in  the  Teuton  people 
always  suggests  to  me  an  eggshell  en 
cased  in  the  pomp  of  steel.  Should  they 
be  defeated,  I  feel  that  the  nation  may 
cave  in  tremendously,  horribly.  How 
can  it  be  otherwise  with  a  race  that  never 
sees  anything  foolish  in  itself,  and  exag 
gerates  the  core  of  its  costly  army  and 
bureaucracy  at  the  expense  of  the  kernel? 

By  living  abroad  a  part  of  their  study 
years  the  young  Germans  would  little  by 
little  come  to  prefer  to  substitute  amity 


354  VILLA  ELSA 

for  armaments,  confident  trust  for  sus- 
pfcion,  love  as  a  motto  instead  of  hate. 
For  they  would  see  that  other  peoples  are 
worthy  to  live.  They  would  learn  more 
chivalry  toward  women  and  children,  the 
beautiful  significance  of  humanity  and  of 
universal  brotherhood.  They  would  learn 
that  what  they  call  weakness  desirably 
lends  delicacy,  tenderness,  spiritual  and 
moral  loveliness  to  existence  which  the 
coarse  bigness  and  bow-wowness  of  the 
German  ideal  itself  will  never  attain.  .  .  . 

When  March  came,  and  the  birds  flew  back 
to  find  no  trees,  no  grass,  no  flowers,  Gard 
Kirtley,  in  his  spring-time  of  life,  stepped  out 
from  his  dugout  in  Flanders  with  a  gun,  and 
faced  the  Huns  of  the  northeast.  He  was  pre 
pared  to  greet  Death  which  is  the  fruit  of  old 
age  but  which  in  youth  appears  as  with  a 
crown  of  laurel. 


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